Breakfast first date?

Maude2010 · 2021-08-13T03:50:55+00:00

I once had a fancy brunch date as a first date. It was at one of the nicest hotels in the city, which is famous for its restaurant. It’s very common for locals to eat at the restaurant or go to one of the bars.

Turns out he’d reserved a room and suggested we continue the date there.

Sigh.

Scrotes gonna scrote I guess.

Generally I do think brunch is a nice idea, for the same reasons you gave.

hensbanex · 2021-08-13T02:21:29+00:00

I also prefer dates during the day as it removes the expectation of sex or that weird time afterwards.

whiskey_and_oreos · 2021-08-13T02:29:59+00:00

I love brunch dates. My city has a fantastic patio/rooftop scene and fancy brunch is big here, so he'll still have to make reservations or you'll be waiting for two hours.

For a bonus round, you can tell if he's hungover from the night before and watch how many Bloody Mary's he drinks. Save the bottomless mimosas for girlfriend brunches.

CoconutJasmineBombe · 2021-08-13T02:56:37+00:00

I feel lunch is a decent option. Agree it’s good to keep alcohol out of the equation. And it’s still a meal plus generally quieter than dinner so you can have decent conversation. Lunch only for me though because I’m definitely not a morning person. Went against my interests and had an early coffee date before FDS and it was… not it. 🤦🏻‍♀️

sassykat2581 · 2021-08-13T07:56:21+00:00

It worked for my fiancé and I. We had a nice brunch and then went for a walk. He still dressed nice and was a gentleman. He took the date seriously as if it was a dinner date so I don’t think it matters if it brunch, lunch or dinner it’s the effort he puts into it.

taschana · 2021-08-13T11:28:44+00:00

Girl. FDS is about YOU and empowering YOU to have your standards and your needs met. FDS advocates for not needing male validation, but also it advocated for lifting women up. So no FDS woman should tell you that a breakfast dade is not FDS material.

It seems to fulfill all the requirements. And you got a great safety tip: hotels are a great way to weed out the scrotes. Make sure to have plans or an excuse directly after brunch.

AyemHerself · 2021-08-13T03:51:15+00:00

These are all reasons why I prefer lunch for a first date. But I'm also not a morning person. At all.

This could also be a good sign that a man is able and willing to get up early to see you.

aquietsword · 2021-08-13T03:17:39+00:00

I'd consider this brunch/breakfast spot specific, but we have great spots where I live so for me it would work. I always try to consider myself in the guy's position if I'm trying to figure out how I feel about something. For example, if my best friend was in town and only had time to do one thing with me, would the guy's suggestion even be considered? I'm trying to show someone a good time and to talk and have fun - brunch totally works but not every brunch spot.

purasangria · 2021-08-13T03:25:08+00:00

I've enjoyed some breakfast or brunch dates. I like them because the fact that they're in the morning has less chance that he'll think anything is gonna happen sexually.

dancedancedance7 · 2021-08-13T05:46:29+00:00

Breakfast is fabulous.

It's also a great way to test for schedule compatibility. For example it's impossible to get me out of bed till 10-11am, and I like dating guys who are night owls. The one time I dated a dude who insisted on waking up at 6-7am, I got so stressed about our plans constantly and it was no fun that he got tired at shows at midnight.

p0ludnitsa · 2021-08-13T02:33:37+00:00

I think a quality breakfast date is amazing and could be a sign that he thinks outside the box.

keep_my_stuff · 2021-08-13T09:43:16+00:00

That's a good idea for me personally. I've wasted my time before with people who were too low-effort or too uninterested or too depressed or too unable to not go out drinking the night before. So somebody who can show up for breakfast has already cleared a meaningful bar.

Pickled_Tink_Tea · 2021-08-13T10:15:25+00:00

My city is quite famous for fancy brunches, and I'm not an early riser so that suits me.

But I think a nice breakfast is a good idea tbh. So long as its nice.

glendoraza · 2021-08-13T02:27:26+00:00

I don’t what to make of this but I once had a first date at 6 am. It was bright outside and we were both early birds. It was a Saturday morning too so could’ve slept in, but decided to meet for breakfast instead at the only place in town that opens at 6 am. It’s a cute little Jewish place with delicious food and prayers on the menu.

Neither of us were Jewish nor religious though.

I was surprised because I thought they would close on Saturday for religious reasons

spicyspa · 2021-08-13T05:08:27+00:00

Depends on the breakfast.

miloba_ · 2021-08-13T06:19:35+00:00

I’m 100% onboard with a breakfast/brunch first date. Agreed with others saying that location and preparation are key though. I live in a city with a lively brunch scene, and I don’t want to spend the first 30-90 min of our date waiting for a table because he didn’t prepare enough in advance and book a reservation.

I’m not an early riser but do follow a healthy and active lifestyle. It’d be important to me that I vet how he presents himself before and during the date - does he seem hungover? Is he drinking a lot during the date? How is he dressed? What brunch spot did he choose?

I very much like the fact that there is an easy out with brunch (plans later in the day), and there is a lower likelihood that he will expect or hope for things to progress the same day (not out of the picture, but definitely less than a dinner date). Not to mention it’s just safer. You’re meeting a man you don’t really know for the first time; at the very least you have solace knowing it’s light outside and are likely around far more people if things go south.

revengeofgivingtree · 2021-08-13T03:41:58+00:00

I've been thinking about this too, I like it.

FrenchHeel · 2021-08-13T03:30:22+00:00

If it works for you and makes you happy, then go for it.

My reservation about this kind of date is that I’m a big believer that a man’s weekend nights are the most valuable. When he is single he is likely going out hoping to meet women on the weekend. If he is dating someone then he is taking her out instead. If he is not with you on Saturday night, who is he with?

wet-plants · 2021-08-13T13:14:40+00:00

I like brunch dates for all those reasons! Easier to make it booze-free, you can cut it off for plans later if needed, less likely to turn sexual, but its still a meal out.

scooter_se · 2021-08-13T05:42:08+00:00

Brunch is delicious! But I also think a late lunch/ easily dinner on a weekday can be good. No secondary locations, no alcohol, and the sun is still out. Just focus on talking and vetting for an hour or two. And if that first date goes well, go to a nice restaurant at night that Friday or Saturday for a longer date. That’s what I did with my HVM and it worked really well; it was a new strategy that I would’ve def kept using if things hadn’t worked out.

sassyheather · 2021-08-13T16:22:17+00:00

When I was still in the courting stage with my HVM, we had a fantastic breakfast date. He was leaving for his hometown for Christmas and suggested we did something in the morning before his train. He had packed beforehand and woken up earlier to shower, get ready and appear on my doorstep in a button-up shirt and dress pants that stopped my breath a lil. It was a very pretty steakhouse that served all my favorite breakfast items. Everything he did showed effort so it was a yes from me.

Inspection-Critical · 2021-08-13T15:10:57+00:00

Brunch can be very nice, sure.

But don't think that "expectation of sex will be lower." An LVM will take any opportunity to bully women into sex.

Contorting yourself around minutiae is an exhausting waste of time. Worse, it's pointless. If a guy wants to behave badly, eating at 11am won't stop him.

The only thing that makes a difference is keeping your standards and boundaries firm. If a guy's inappropriate, you shut it down and leave.

PetuniaXo · 2021-08-13T02:35:30+00:00

I'm personally not a morning person but if you are I don't think it's necessarily a pick me thing.

I think if some guy you're just dating wants you to go to breakfast and it's inconvenient for you that could be a bit pick me. Also, breakfast may make them feel like they're a priority too early and entitled to your time first thing in the morning. I feel like brunch is safest. Late morning/early afternoon. Maybe 10am-2pm.

It could possibly create a false sense of intimacy, though. I can't quite explain why. I've usually been to breakfast with people I was already in a relationship with.

FineDeliciousSnakes · 2021-08-13T15:26:34+00:00

One of my first ever dates was a breakfast date. You make great points in your post!!

pinnokino · 2021-08-13T15:27:02+00:00

Oh I love them. I’m just too lazy to get up extra early to get dolled up 😭

Title	Breakfast first date?
Author	FDS-GFY
Upvotes	492
Comments	40
Date	August 13, 2021 2:15 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/p3e9v7/breakfast_first_date/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/breakfast-first-date.958627 https://theredarchive.com/post/958627

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