#653: “Help, I’m dating a Men’s Rights Activist”

MSgtGunny · 2015-01-25T11:02:33+00:00

[permanently deleted]

brokedown · 2015-01-25T07:48:00+00:00

Dear stereotypical gossip rag advice column. The person I'm dating doesn't meet my personal gender role expectations. I'd like to force him to serve me as my provider and protector while I continue my campaign to challenge traditional gender roles for women through facebook posts, memes, and righteous indignation. Or maybe I will leave him because I can find a hotter guy. Yours truly, literally being raped in Seattle.

Penuno · 2015-01-25T11:27:35+00:00

Jesus they just don't know how warped their world view is. He says he accepts her views but she doesn't accept his. At parties her "level headed" friends are all feminists like her.

MRAs can't be level headed. The one person in the relationship who is tolerant of other worldviews is considered by her not to be level headed.

smh

uardum · 2015-01-25T13:13:08+00:00

What will he do if someday you “get out of line“? Right now you are the magical exception to all of these other “out of line,” “crazy,” “damaging” women (women like me).

....because if you're not a feminist, then you must be a woman-smacking abusive boyfriend, and probably a future serial killer.

Grubnar · 2015-01-25T09:45:58+00:00

How deep does his MRA sentiment go? Jerkass comments here and there, vague sympathies, or actually participating in trolling? Celebrating mass murderers who are fueled by misogyny?

What does this even mean? Was there a great slaughter of females that I somehow missed in 2014?!?

Or is it all just something that happened only inside their head?

Caelamid · 2015-01-25T12:55:37+00:00

In the process of scrolling through my reddits for the day, I come across this post. I know I shouldn't, but I click on it anyway. I read it. I keep scrolling - I know I shouldn't - down to the comments. I read those, too.

My mood is affected. I think, "this is depressing. I feel the need to vent." But most of my friends would a.) not be inclined to care (which is fine, but I'm looking for someone to talk to), or b.) lean more in attitude to the comments/article itself.

Luckily, however, you folks exist. Thank you for existing and, more importantly, not being indoctrinated. There is immense comfort in knowing people exist who resist some of the more ridiculous greyfaced mindfuckery running rampant in the social circles of this generation.

guywithaccount · 2015-01-25T14:25:24+00:00

I have a problem. I am a feminist.

Well, you're not wrong.

But I’ve been sucked in. I love him.

"Premiering on ABC this fall..."

I love the comment choir. It's like stepping into a bizarro world.

Also, you could swap out all the references to feminism with Christian ones and it would sound exactly like what hardcore Christians sound like when they're speaking freely to other believers. "I'm worried about my boyfriend because he hasn't found Christ..." "You need to ditch that man and find a Christian man who fears God!" "I had a man like that, but I opened his eyes and he opened his heart to Jesus!"

SweetiePieJonas · 2015-01-25T14:43:11+00:00

Seriously, is Feminism a religion? You can't date people unless they're your own faith?

xNOM · 2015-01-25T12:23:48+00:00

Do you have any suggestions for how to… I don’t know… fix this?

LOL classic.

Corn-Tortilla · 2015-01-25T08:15:36+00:00

Dump the motherfucking bitch now.

Oh wait, this was from her...

Well in that case, he should dump your motherfucking ass now and save himself a lifetime of horror.

cajunrevenge · 2015-01-25T17:25:41+00:00

That guy thinks men deserve rights? That bastard. How do people get that evil.

Folsomdsf · 2015-01-25T08:47:44+00:00

I laughed at the picture accompanying. If one character in all of fiction would say 'Motherfucker, I don't care'... they found it.

Lucius_Martius · 2015-01-25T12:11:28+00:00

Based on the name of the site, I thought this was a satirical site... but it seems to be serious. Which is tragic.

McFeely_Smackup · 2015-01-25T18:42:33+00:00

I guess the most optimistic thing I could say is that many of us go through a period in our lives where we try out extreme views of one sort or another that don’t hold up over time or with more experience and self-awareness.

Oh the fucking irony...

2015-01-25T12:26:03+00:00

Oh God, victim blaming. Such a childish idea.

Nomenimion · 2015-01-25T13:00:41+00:00

So leave, dummy. He doesn't need the likes of you.

salacio · 2015-01-25T19:05:36+00:00

The worst part is the poor guy is dating a feminist and apparently doesn't even know it!

gsettle · 2015-01-25T13:45:00+00:00

Dang, someone doesn't agree with you...wow!

2015-01-25T18:16:12+00:00

"All my instincts tell me that I have the perfect man who would make the greatest husband and father to our children, but we disagree on one social issue, so can you please give me the justifications and rationalizations to break up with him to better serve my liberal, progressive social justice ideologies"

Meto1183 · 2015-01-25T18:37:33+00:00

What bothers me is the part where she said

I brought up a women-centric issue... he said “Well, she shouldn’t have been drinking so much.”

She says she chalked it up to him just being a guy and the influence of the world's victim blaming. It's ridiculous because she doesn't even consider it a part of the conversation. In what world are we not allowed to mention all aspects of something? It's like she expects him to only echo her opinions and even the mention of the victim having drank too much is "awful" and she "went to bed angry."

How twisted has her view become that her hearing an alternate (not even opposing) view to her's is fair cause for her to get angry at someone close to her and throw out their opinion? Ugh it makes me so mad.

jimmywiddle · 2015-01-25T18:27:34+00:00

any reasonable person looking at those comments can quickly conclude that HE is right, that feminism is full of bigoted man haters.

I hope he dumps her ass before she makes a decision.

dungone · 2015-01-25T19:24:27+00:00

I have a problem. I am a feminist. Why is that a problem? Because my boyfriend, as generous and thoughtful and funny and sweet as he is

Stop right there. So the problem is that she's a feminist. End of story.

DoctorDevil · 2015-01-25T19:33:12+00:00

If she feels bad knowing that he's gonna see the things feminists are doing, doesn't that mean that clearly they are doing things even she knows are wrong?

DoctorDevil · 2015-01-25T19:35:38+00:00

If she feels bad knowing hes gonna see the things feminists do (comet landing shirt, etc), then shouldn't she know at some level that what feminists are doing in those situations is wrong?

harryballsagna · 2015-01-26T04:25:41+00:00

Gets mad when a guy vilifies a whole movement.

Vilifies a whole movement.

EternalArchon · 2015-01-25T19:48:48+00:00

the Steubenville rape case), his argument was “Well, she shouldn’t have been drinking so much.”

Holy shit this is so fake

noprotein · 2015-01-25T21:15:02+00:00

"With wormless apples out there, why eat around this yucky spot?" A quote that represents all that is wrong with modern day feminism. Having literally any other viewpoint is ugly, bad, and wrong. It's so openly hypocritical and disgusting. It's selective and elitist, it's unchallenged and embarassing. It's so obviously stupid that u can't stomach the disdain these fairly young women have for men. They clearly are sexist in keeping men basically in the closet unless it's to come out specifically and only cheering for women.

The author is also a shit.

2015-01-26T03:17:08+00:00

Reads like a dishonest political hit piece.

Mitschu · 2015-01-26T08:12:53+00:00

From the comments:

Like you, LW, I’d cringe (and, years later, still sometimes do) when reading articles about feminist issues or George W Bush’s latest antics, imagining the debates I’d have with him, or imagining what my friends would think if they knew his opinions. I tried to stay with him and just avoid anything controversial, but politics and anti-racism and -sexism are really important to me, so after a while I just couldn’t do it and left. I also figured out after we split up and tried to remain friends that his MRA attitudes were just one symptom of a really inward-focused, entitled view of relationships in general. It turned out the generosity and thoughtfulness was only for exceptions. So there’s that.

I'm flinching here. Translated into plain English:

Like you, LW, I'd cringe when thinking about things I'd want him to automatically agree with me on that he might not. I mean, he may want to debate important bedrocks of our respective philosophies to test their mettle! I tried to make the relationship work by not talking about the things important to me, so much sacrifice, but the things that are important to him aren't important to me so I dumped him. After all, I luuuuurv equal rights, super-important to me, so how could I ever be with a MRA? They're fighting for equal rights for men! How heinous! Our breakup was a bad one, I mean, he's serious about what he believes in, I can't respect that, and I'm also gonna say out of nowhere that he's entitled for absolutely no reason, because I'm entitled to sling accusations like that when they help the post-hoc rationalizations. Also, can you believe that he is selective about who he is respectful and kind towards? Who does that? Nobody I can think of, so I guess that ends my unkind and disrespectful rant over the internet.

baserace · 2015-01-26T09:22:51+00:00

Infantile, privileged woman alert.

foxyramirez · 2015-01-25T18:18:12+00:00

It's so similar to the religion vs atheists thing that it's eerie. One of these groups is living in a total fantasy, and have worked it out to make it culturally accepted crazy. The other is nestled in reality, and punished for talking about the elephant in the room.

yoduh4077 · 2015-01-25T12:29:53+00:00

sigh

knowless · 2015-01-25T14:09:55+00:00

Haha

Kelipah · 2015-01-25T08:04:13+00:00

I think this article misconstrued what MRA is about. The mens rights movement is about eqaul rights for men. Feminism is about eqaul rights for women.

So if either one obtained their goal it will also result in eqaul rights for the other gender which is its end goal.

Both sides want the same thing, but have managed to cause gender segregation rather then focusing on making BOTH genders eqaul.

2015-01-25T19:50:57+00:00

[permanently deleted]

2015-01-25T14:24:45+00:00

This shouldnt be posted because all advise coloms are just as stupid.

Title	#653: “Help, I’m dating a Men’s Rights Activist”
Author	DougDante
Upvotes	143
Comments	138
Date	January 25, 2015 7:29 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/2tlhtf/653_help_im_dating_a_mens_rights_activist/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/653-help-im-dating-a-mens-rights-activist.989756 https://theredarchive.com/post/989756

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