I think I’m done boys

RunPeaceRun · 2026-06-28T03:55:25+00:00

Yes. I met when I was 21. Spent also my whole young age with her. I thought even world ends she wouldn’t leave me. She left me at my lowest. I was trying also to make her proud but she left after we were only married for 1,5 years together 11. We survived from war, pandemic, financial problems but yet she left.

time to reborn

ungoloit · 2026-06-28T01:09:00+00:00

You will care once you figure out that you are your best friend. Life is a highway...get a motorcycle.

ToughPill · 2026-06-28T01:06:20+00:00

The key mental shift you have to have is you have to know and be ok with the possibility that you’ll be alone. And that is when you’ll focus on building a good life that women will be attracted to and want to be invited into.

If you seek to invite a woman in in order to make your life good then things will fail.

UrAristotle · 2026-06-27T23:43:51+00:00

Who are you talking to for help?

TopSwagCode · 2026-06-27T23:27:56+00:00

I totally get you. 15 years with my ex ended 6 months ago. All the same thoughts went through my head.

Maybe dating shouldn't be your top priotization right now, but rather getting your self up again. I installed all the apps, just to see what is out there. Kept comparing them to my ex. Other days I just swiped on anything with a pulse ÷- 15 years of my age.

What helped me was starting focusing more on myself and my son happiness.

jdprime · 2026-06-27T22:49:01+00:00

I managed to build a solid divorce settlement that the ex agreed to. Went to court and judge signed. I built a machine with my lawyer to run incase I was falling apart. Once she signed an agreement, I kept a low profile until court. 3 June it was granted. She is now looking for a place to move to. So I am keep a low profile and redesigning the living room, basement and bedroom using AI to my tastes.

It’s been telling to see home much of myself was overridden by my ex. What’s coming out is my true self and seeing what my living can look like without a vision less woman sucking out my soul is awesome.

It’s the light at the end of the tunnel and I can see it, I can start making it mine once her stuff clears out of my home soon.

Right now you need to create a fair settlement and custody agreement.

Present this to her: we can give our money, retirement and future to the lawyers to get rich or we can reach a fair agreement and walk away with our finances mostly intact.

Do you want to retire or work until dead? Amicable divorce or massive debt to the lawyers?

Good luck brother and you will join us on the other side. Protect yourself, do what’s fair but don’t fool your self.

What’s fair to her is unfair to you. You want what’s fair to you and the kids.

Motor-Hat-3061 · 2026-06-27T22:09:25+00:00

Don't let her win twice.

TracPhuong3456 · 2026-06-27T22:07:48+00:00

it's a temporary situation bro. dont let it define who you are for the rest. beat it a gain.

ABBucsfan · 2026-06-27T21:05:36+00:00

It's easy to focus on what you've lost.. by the end (kids and all) I was left with the impression my ex never did love me to begin with (don't think any woman ever has) and I met her at 23. End of the day you and I are basically still in the same position still. It sucks now but it will get better. You can rebuild, your kids still need a responsible father who can speak into their life and have a relationship with them. You're not free to do whatever you wanted to but couldn't before

Responsible_Mud_394 · 2026-06-27T21:01:15+00:00

Dude i completely undertsand and i agree but do not forget you done with her, not yourslef. Do what you need to do to just settle whatever needs to be settled with her and then bye bye fuck you dont need to meet you anymore unless abolutly necessary. As far as other women, fuck that too, just as women say sometimes i dont need a man to define me, well we dont need women to define us either. Now sytart anew, persue your passions and hobbies and excel at them.

RunPeaceRun · 2026-06-27T19:47:46+00:00

We are in same boat man. But we live to show ourselves what can we do. She dumped me after 11 years. Same week my work fired me, debt till my throat. Soon will be deported. BUT FUCK IT. It is our life, can be rebuilt. You are still same person who have spark in eye and will have stark if you allow.

crzysnk18 · 2026-06-27T19:44:42+00:00

One thing I’ve started doing, definitely not the most healthy, is smoking a sweet cigar while walking. Tobacco is a depressant and helps with stress in certain cases. Again, it isn’t healthy and I will be stopping once I am free of my harpy ex, but I find it has helped with the stress. I have limited time for walks as I work 70-80 hour weeks. I buy the $2 cigars, the cheap ones, and they have helped me. Just sharing what I have learned in this situation.

InvertedPickleTaco · 2026-06-27T19:28:45+00:00

Get help please. Call a mental health line and vent. It'll be better than Reddit. If you can afford a good counsellor or have insurance, do it.

Please don't send her anything. It won't help anything. You aren't at rock bottom, trust me. There's always worse. It's hard to see it. Things get better when you get better, and don't set goal posts like the opinions of someone on a dating app to get better.

As far as dating goes I've found that many women friends who are actually great people stay off of them now. Find a couple of hobbies and get out there for yourself. Don't do it to meet someone romantic, do it to find people who will help you feel whole no matter the finances. Building yourself a life around things you enjoy and making new contacts is going to give you the confidence and better chance of finding someone eventually.

I'll add that the reason, IMHO, that second marriages have a high divorce rate is because people rush to fill the hole their spouse left. Fill it yourself. Filling it with someone instead is self destruction.

On that, drop the target that you have to be with someone to be happy. I only realized I moved on when I built a life up that wasn't focused on my frustrations or guilt. You won't forget her, you'll have to deal with the shitty situation of a divorce, but you will wake up one day and realize you have moved on from the feelings you have now. That feeling when you're only concerned about the logistics of the divorce, and not what she has done or is doing to you or otherwise, is the best reward you'll feel.

I'm lucky. I have someone interested in me. I'm not defining it, but I've never been on an app looking for it. It happened because I forced myself out the door and back into life. It might not work out, but I'm in a better spot because of my own healing which lead to where I am.

painfulletdown · 2026-06-27T18:39:06+00:00

no where but up dude. bottom is in.

mistake-number2 · 2026-06-27T15:47:40+00:00

You are in a place alot of us men have been. Its a long dark road. But giving up isnt the answer. Esp if kids are involved. Take a breathe. Go for a vacation. Even if its just a short trip. See the beauty of the world. Get out of your head.

The answer it sounds like your proposing is only hard on the ones who are left. Esp when you have kids. Their veiw of everything will change.

crzysnk18 · 2026-06-27T15:44:12+00:00

You are at the bottom of the pit. You have been beaten, broken, abused, and left for dead. If you truly give up, then your harpy of an ex will win and you will prove her right. The best thing to do, I know because I have been where you are and had plenty of nights thinking about swallowing a bullet, is to start rebuilding and living you life on your terms. Listen to the music and watch the movies you want. So the hobbies and activities you’ve always wanted to do. Heck take a solo cruise, you will be amazed how freeing that can be. Don’t look to the dating apps for love, that is a losing battle. The best way to get revenge on your ex is to be happier, free, and just living a life of peace and success. She wants you to be miserable, show her and the world you refuse to be miserable and are determined to enjoy life to the fullest.

Apapi42 · 2026-06-27T15:31:05+00:00

If you’re saying what I think you’re saying, I want you to hear me for a minute.
If you end your life, that’s it. There are no do-overs, no “I’ll try again later.” It’s over forever. For what? Because of someone who hurt you? That would be a tragic waste of your life.
Here’s something that has always been true: nothing stays the same. That’s not motivation—it’s just reality. The way you feel today will not be the way you feel forever. Things might get better. They might get worse for a while. But they will change.
I know what it feels like to hit the bottom. I was broke, homeless, living out of my car. I remember feeling like there was no way out. I’m grateful I didn’t make a permanent decision during the worst chapter of my life.
You mentioned your kids. As someone who lost my father when I was young, I can tell you this: I would have rather had my dad alive—whether he was broke or rich, happy or struggling—than not have him at all.
Don’t let this be the end of your story. Get through today. Then tomorrow. Ask for help. Lean on anyone you can. If you have to sleep in your car or start over from nothing, do that first. Give yourself the chance that you won’t have if you make a permanent decision tonight.
Your kids don’t need a perfect father. They need a living one.

Lonedingo711 · 2026-06-27T14:35:52+00:00

Bro - First year or two is the worst for what is effectively starting over. Focus on work and being in the kids lives. That is what helps gets you through, the means to see the kids and have them be with you for the times that you can be together. Do things with them that they don't do with her, make it special with them. As for finding the next partner or GF, don't worry too much about it right now, just get yourself back together. Invest in yourself and it pays off later with your kids and relationships.

No-Regular7731 · 2026-06-27T14:29:41+00:00

Don’t give up. Fight. I am in the thick of it myself but you are stronger than you know. I have to keep telling myself, “This too shall pass”!

The since October I have had multiple deaths of people a care deeply about. Had a child stop talking with me and move out filling lies from the group that supported my ex. Lost so much in divorce and found out the more than the last 6 years have been a lie and I face a possible cancer diagnosis. And still I stand (more like limp). You can too.

DM me if needed but don’t throw in the towel.

Longjumping-Call-8 · 2026-06-27T13:32:03+00:00

Can you be thankful for anything? Look closly, your kids will be at some point the greatest thing you ever got, not the relationship to her

Chillout2010 · 2026-06-27T12:44:48+00:00

I'm at a low point myself. I'm not sure how it's all gonna work out. But you gotta be strong for your kids. Don't let them see you quit.

No-Profit-1027 · 2026-06-27T12:41:37+00:00

Brother, your worth is not defined by someone else. Don’t play into her hands. The way you are giving up is probably what she hopes for. Your kids need you now more than ever. We understand how you feel. Most of us had our very darkest days.
When you are going through hell, keep going because you will come out on the other side a lot better. You will be able to smile again. You can lose all material things but don’t lose your kids. God be with you.

antouzzz · 2026-06-27T12:28:08+00:00

Bro relax, dont let her get under your skin.

No_Chemistry8953 · 2026-06-27T12:20:50+00:00

You’re not alone, even though I understand it may feel like it. Divorce is hard but it is not the end. Please call a crisis line if you are considering harming yourself. Keep reaching out on here. You are not alone and you will get through this.

fewdo · 2026-06-27T12:16:43+00:00

Hey man, you will get through this. It only feels impossibly hard

Title	I think I’m done boys
Author	Faraway_Neighbor
Upvotes	31
Comments	60
Date	June 27, 2026 12:10 PM UTC (1 month ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1uh1539/i_think_im_done_boys/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/i-think-im-done-boys.1583724 https://theredarchive.com/post/1583724

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