Utterly devastated. My(36m) STBXW, who just entered into a C-suite level career around 2 years ago, told me she wants to separate. We started dating when we were 15 and yesterday, would have been 20 years together. She was my person. We became adults together, and figured out life together. The worst part is she told me while I am stuck on an offshore vessel for hydrographic work and still have to function 12 hours a day, everyday. So its breakdowns in the bathroom for me. I just feel like I'm absolutely in crisis and pretty lost. Does it get easier? No idea what to do or what to expect when I get home. I'm just devastated.

I've already reach out to our marriage counseling therapist for a recommendation for a solo therapist.

One question I have is we live in a vhcol area and I have supported her for my entire life up until 2 years ago. I travel all over the states to support her so that she could eventually get her PhD and get a prestigious post-doc. I have held down multiple jobs at time and my career always had to be work remotely/ fly in fly out, which had an impact on my career. But I supported her and her goals. Now, she is making ~150k a year with limitless potential (CEO wants to hand over the control, as he is aging out) and I'm making ~100k and I have always relied on her health care. I'm in CA, do you think I have a shot at alimony? I don't know if I can even afford to stay in the same city without our dual income and have no family in the area, with limited friends because we have only been here for two year and most of our friends were based off her work. I have no idea about next steps or what I should do. I'm just lost and broken. Sorry for the rant, but thanks for listening.