A sad reality

VioletRomantic · 2020-07-07T19:15:13+00:00

I recently left a guy on read for offering me a "park date" for our first date. My gay friend thought it sounded sweet. What he/other men don't understand is yeah, if I was planning a park date it would be sweet bc it would look like this ^^^ What the average man means by "park date" is getting you to meet them so they can start asking for sex and hopefully wear you down by the end of the free date.

noavocadoshere · 2020-07-07T20:46:34+00:00

Half?!?! Half of us are getting this?!?? I think she means 98% of women have never gotten this!

Incredible_Alligator · 2020-07-07T21:01:21+00:00

I've never gotten anything near as nice as this from any man I've ever dated. Even the good one.

Honestly, this was most likely made/set up by a woman.

MissKinkykittykat · 2020-07-07T19:16:05+00:00

Women don't even get flowers these days.

PokemonBreederAJ · 2020-07-07T21:40:56+00:00

Half?? I think most unfortunately.

Pasdepromesses · 2020-07-07T22:35:48+00:00

I got this kind of treatment from my LVM ex fiance. Three months in he surprised me with a weekend getaway. Only at the airport I found out that we were going to see my favorite piece of art that I always wanted to see (but was in another country). My NVM ex at least got me flowers every week, cooked for me and took me on extremely romantic dates.

To be fair, even the NVM or LVM at least added something to my life. Good company, flowers, romantic and thoughtful dates, weekend getaways, acts of service, a lot of good sex or a combination of these.

They were still N/LVM, but can you imagine being with a N/LVM that has horrible behavior in one or more area's and doesn't even add some of these things to your life?

Moral of the story is: don't think that guys who display this kind of behavior are automatically HVM. They might still cheat, be misogynistic, abusive, emotionally unavailable or emotionally immature.

Maleficent_Youth_175 · 2020-07-07T20:47:14+00:00

Only half?

suspended_animation_ · 2020-07-07T23:56:56+00:00

I hate flowers now. My psychotic ex used to buy me flowers regularly except he ignored my birthday. Only Valintine's day and whenever he felt he was planning to rape me. I would try to communicate to him about how badly he treated me. He said "Am I really an asshole? I buy you these nice flowers and gifts." Before leaving him, I figured out that whenever he gifted me, it meant I was about to be punished.

Another instance was a man staying at my hotel where I worked. He was creepy to every woman on the premise including me. We HAD to be polite and cordial to him no matter what. It sucked. He would ask me if I was single. I was doing dishes in the kitchen at the time and wrapping up my shift. I honestly slipped out that I was uncomfortably as he was looking for a ring. He forced me to ask him what his name was before finally leaving me alone. The next day, I was inspecting rooms until I was called to the desk. My coworker said there were flowers for me at the desk. I went to the lobby to check. There they were with a box of chocolates from him. My boss had to pretend that she thought he had them delivered to the front desk staff and thanked him. She lied to him, saying she thought the flowers were for them and that actually I was already married. What a scary ordeal. Sorry for the hijack. I never talked about it

HoneyBouquet · 2020-07-07T18:57:30+00:00

That picture demonstrates that thoughtful dates don't have to be expensive. That man has probably set it up beforehand for his lady. Fairy lights cost a couple of pounds. Those lanterns you could get for 10 pound and under. The cushions you can get for 15 pounds and under. Food could be home cooked. The view by the beach would be researched beforehand. A good bouquet can cost about 30 pounds.

After being with a NVM, I realised how much effort a man can give you if he truly cares. I've spoken about my dickhead ex but today I'd like to talk about a potential HVM.

I actually met a really respectful guy a month after my break up, and we liked each other a lot. Unfortunately, he was of a different religion so we parted ways. I am Muslim and he was Christian.

However:

🟢He would wait to have sex until marriage if it was what the woman wanted.

🟢He did not talk about sex or bring up sex.

🟢 He thought all women were beautiful and did not watch porn.

🟢If he was in a relationship, the woman would be his #1 priority. He would put aside time and money for her. He was well established and a CEO but knew the importance of having an amazing woman in his life.

🟢He took care of his physical appearance and worked out regularly.

🟢He thought planning thoughtful dates and giving cute gifts to someone he was dating was expected.

🟢He never would want the woman he was dating to pay for anything.

🟢He dated for the long term. He would not casually date or sleep around. The next girlfriend he would have would be his wife.

To Mr S, you will make a woman very happy!

throwawayathrowaway0 · 2020-07-08T03:59:20+00:00

I'd fucking pass out if a guy surprised me with this magical date. And guess what? It's not overly pricey or complicated. Just goes to show that a HVW wants some thoughtfulness.

SuchBarracuda · 2020-07-07T21:30:30+00:00

I make it very clear, I do not eat outside... flies and mosquitos are pests not free appetizers

beautiful-life-ahead · 2020-07-07T19:12:59+00:00

Wow, this is so beautiful. I want to wait for this.

lluviaazul · 2020-07-08T03:21:13+00:00

Picnics are very nice but I would only do that when I’m in relationship. Not as a first date since it probably would be so low effort

Struggleis4real · 2020-07-08T07:06:03+00:00

Wow reading the comments makes me sad that many have not experienced some form of a picnic date.

I had two different guys set up a “first date” picnic, in popular scenic areas in my city, complete with basket, wine, cheese, sandwiches, dessert, blanket, cups etc. Both have asked me what I’m comfortable eating and if I was allergic to anything, and prepared accordingly. I think the gesture was nice and thought out, and still loads better than what LVM offer on the daily. One became my now-ex, and another just didn’t work out.

bootyandthebeet · 2020-07-07T23:16:44+00:00

Where I live there’s small businesses that you pay to set this up for you before your date, you can pick the park you want to go to. Ive seen it around my city. I remember telling my LVM-ex how cute that is and what a great date that would be. He said we would do it “one day” - probably meaning I would have to be the one to a) remind him about it b) contact the place and set it up 🤦🏻‍♀️

heresalemon · 2020-07-07T22:35:42+00:00

I can’t imagine a man putting this scene together. The pattern/texture mixing? No way.

Novemberinthechair · 2020-07-08T05:44:40+00:00

He made a nest! Wow!

BetterToBeLonely · 2020-07-10T00:16:13+00:00

As if any guy would create such a well appointed picnic. Nice hurricane lanterns and matching throw pillows? Nah, just a musty old sleeping bag and a bag of chips.

Title	A sad reality
Author	HoneyBouquet
Upvotes	1166
Comments	88
Date	July 7, 2020 6:49 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/hn0jcj/a_sad_reality/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/a-sad-reality.705264 https://theredarchive.com/post/705264

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