Anyone else not bother arguing with men anymore?

AnniaT · 2021-04-17T22:04:19+00:00

I really don't care about arguing with men or anyone for that matter anymore. Waste of time.

RabidWench · 2021-04-17T23:10:20+00:00

I had a coworker sit down next to me one day and start making comments about my snack (grapes and cheese cubes, seriously) and how it was gross. He was being stupid on purpose to get a rise, so I just sat there and said "okay", "mmhmm", etc... So eventually he says "I'm not gonna win this argument, am I?"

I just dead eyed him and said, "I wasn't aware we were having an argument. You expressed an opinion and I didn't care. If you don't like my snack you are free to go somewhere else, I'm not stopping you." And I continued eating. He shut right the fuck up. I do not have the energy for bullshit like that. 🙄

frustratedanon123 · 2021-04-17T22:14:29+00:00

Yes. Why would I waste my time on someone being deliberately obstinate? I won't argue with children either. Same thing.

Happy_Mistake_3684 · 2021-04-17T23:02:44+00:00

100%. In particular I do not discuss female things like rape, abortion, miscarriage, etc with males. Their obtuseness becomes abusive. I made this decision when I was having a discussion with a male friend who I actually quite liked in general, he was pretty nice to women (for a Y-chromo) and I said, you know, you need to be careful bringing up rape with women, because many of us have been raped, and you think this is an intellectual thought experiment, but for us it is real and actually happens to us.

He said:

“Lmao” “You’re crazy” “Why would you think I was talking about YOU, I was talking in general terms”

They don’t get it, or pretend not to get it; or are congenitally incapable of it. Whatever, the outcome is the same which is: men = as intellectually supple as a sheet of glass.

freakfollow · 2021-04-17T21:47:45+00:00

I don't bother. I just ignore them and do what I want. I haven't got time and energy to waste arguing with someone or trying to convince them to see my side of view. Either they do or they don't, and if they don't, they've already made up their mind.

cakepancakepancake · 2021-04-17T21:43:53+00:00

Same. Whether they're actually this braindead and need basic concepts explained or not, I don't care. My time is precious and I'd rather sit by myself and stare at the wall in silence than try and rationalize anything men ever tell me.

My godfather (who has known me since I was 6) tried to argue with me that 18 to 23 year olds make the perfect wives. That anything older than that is tOo OlD. All that because I said I don't want to marry young. The fuck?

PinkPetalCdistbeauty · 2021-04-18T01:35:19+00:00

Lately I’ve found that using the literal very least amount of words as possible, to no words at all, the only way to deal with males at all.

thinktwiceorelse · 2021-04-17T22:46:52+00:00

I use silence as a form of communication now, and it's driving them nuts.

WildTenderness · 2021-04-17T21:37:34+00:00

It's also them expecting free emotional labour from us. I shut down so many men expecting me to present them with a whole ass bibliography (they present nothing, of course) by telling them to pay me for it. Haven't had any takers yet! We can take the time to research, present studies, quote highly respected professionals, and they'll still go on and waste our time and energy.

A man who truly wanted to learn about women's issues would first have to recognize that it's not up to us to explain shit to them. We don't owe them anything. Once they do their own research, develop a basic understanding, and approach us from an inquisitive standpoint, only then is it worthwhile to engage with them about women's issues.

lunarfulminate · 2021-04-17T23:55:21+00:00

"Pearls before swine" is a saying specifically intended to describe what you're talking about. I don't share myself with people committed to misunderstanding or mistreating me, because if I do, I am tacitly agreeing that I'm worth how they treat me.

"I'm not done with you yet" is what a rapist says.

rideoffalone · 2021-04-18T03:43:50+00:00

They'll never admit you're right even if you are, so what's the point?

imstah · 2021-04-17T22:28:25+00:00

I've actually barely just gotten to the point where I've started arguing with men, at 32. I'll snap at my stepdad when he makes an insensitive "funny" remark to my preteen daughter and respond back calling out a scrote commenter on a friend's Facebook status. It's a big deal for me cause it's SO FAR from my instinct (which is to submit to any degree to avoid a potentially awkward/humiliating/hurtful interaction). It's stupid but i see it as confidence building. Fuck them, I'm done keeping my mouth shut to make sure they don't get their feathers ruffled.

MamaGia · 2021-04-17T23:30:30+00:00

I've stopped!

_RustInPiece_ · 2021-04-18T01:50:18+00:00

LVM are opportunistic so they want to trigger you at all costs. No bar is to low. When you respond (this doesn't need to be with words, body language counts too) they still get to live in your head rent free. "Negative attention is better than no attention at all". As long he gets you to think about him, it shows that you "have feelings for him". You might think this is all nonsense because if he wanted you, he's be eager to impress you. Wrong. This confuses "wanting you" with "valuing you". There is a huge difference. He "wants you" because you are convenient to him. In order to "get you" no trick is too cheep for the LVM.

As long as he somehow manages to get your attention he has a slightly higher chance to sleep with you, to get free food/housing/clothes/company/advice from you than if he doesn't. And speaking of advice: Yes, "teaching him how to behave/respect you" when he crosses your emotional or verbal boundaries is basically giving him advice on how he can trick you or the next women better. And yes, this is sad. So don't bother. Not to bother (anymore) is the natural response when someone annoys you anyway.

MagnfiqueMaleficent · 2021-04-18T03:15:36+00:00

Same. A complete (male) stranger at a party demanded to know why I was a vegetarian and proceeded to argue why it was “stupid.” One demanded to know why I’d driven a certain route to work when in his opinion, this other route was better. One wanted to argue why I drive the vehicle I drive.

Uhm... wtf, fellas?🤡 These aren’t even things that need to be argued about, furthermore, it’s none of your business.

I think these manufactured arguments and obtuseness over our explanations is just another way to force conversations with them. They are basically stealing our time away from us because they know we don’t really want to talk to them.

helppleasekk · 2021-04-18T02:22:05+00:00

Absolutely. I stopped debating with men at age 25. From a young age to mid twenties I'd argue because I thought I was doing feminist work by trying to change their minds (the libfem idea of "spreading awareness").. the "debates" always left me feeling emotionally exhausted and feeling hollow because it never got anywhere, none of the scrotes ever listened or took me seriously. They got what they wanted out of it, their goal was to make me exhausted. They have the privilege of being able to troll or be uncaring about certain topics that mostly/only effect women.

My best friend is a gay man and he and I only get along because we never talk about feminism or politics. But once in a while those subjects will come up and he'll show is LV qualities. I don't discuss anything important with him. I only talk about important things with other women now.

Constant-Wanderer · 2021-04-18T03:47:23+00:00

This just warms my heart to read. Keeping your energy for yourself and gifting it as YOU wish is a path to happiness and peace. I’ve seen my people spout wisdom on demand, because some garbage human wants to argue about anything a woman says, and it’s super frustrating to watch.

Hate me? Hate feminism? My ideals? Kamala? Greta? Whales?

Die mad about it, I couldn’t give less of a queef about you and your two-dimensional mamas-golden-boy opinions that you got from your circle-jerk friends at work, their wives all hate them too. Go fuck each other and leave women out of it altogether. No one fuckin you now anyway, hateful.

vee_aye_aye_aye · 2021-04-18T02:05:01+00:00

Expressing quiet (but obvious) displeasure around men is one thing that I've found fun and freeing. I can't change them and I don't have time for a tirade of mansplaining. I express obvious signs of boredom like looking away and replying with solely "uhuh" in a monotone voice. They pick up on it after a few minutes and leave. Not a yes or anything affirmative I must stress, otherwise it can come off as listening to them.

orangeboobert · 2021-04-18T03:08:31+00:00

I have to learn this lesson bc they really can’t listen

Novemberinthechair · 2021-04-18T06:56:36+00:00

I certainly don't. Unless there's an opportunity to embarrass them. The smart one's don't even try to duel with me.

Muffcakelord · 2021-04-18T13:15:41+00:00

Since men assume my thought and intentions so much that they legit don't even respond to my comment but rather to what their inner voice told him, i just do the same since they always say the same and i tell them what the end summary always seems to be the second i see the pattern start to take shape; stay mad, die mad

Positively-Occult · 2021-04-17T22:54:43+00:00

They’re not actually listening or it’s a power play or it turns them on and it’s always a means of siphoning attention/energy off women. They are so desperate for attention/validation from women, they’re argue nonsense just to get it. Nothing is a bigger fuck your that silence/block.

eclo · 2021-04-18T23:32:10+00:00

In my experience 99.99999999999% of men have no interest in genuine engagement with women’s arguments, they don’t listen & do not engage in good faith, they just want to prove you wrong to prop up their ego. I’m not arguing with that. It’s pointless.

throwaway32132134 · 2021-05-03T12:01:42+00:00

I will engage if I see that they are respectful of opinions that differ from their own, if they have a willingness to acknowledge different life experiences and admit wrong doing without referencing the NoT aLl mEn rhetoric. 99% of men can't do this, so I usually don't.

Title	Anyone else not bother arguing with men anymore?
Author	G3TC0L0R
Upvotes	643
Comments	71
Date	April 17, 2021 8:25 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/msydvl/anyone_else_not_bother_arguing_with_men_anymore/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/anyone-else-not-bother-arguing-with-men-anymore.762903 https://theredarchive.com/post/762903

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