Friends that make questionable relationship decisions like this are LV. I don’t understand how the entire friend group KNOWS it’s disgusting and yet…no one steps up to call him out. Gross.

Fantastic--Living · 2021-12-20T16:42:42+00:00

I hope he manages to confront him.

saragc92 · 2021-12-20T17:22:08+00:00

Men who accept shitty behavior are LVM themselves. They know this is fucked, but don’t want to say anything to upset the “natural things” order.

BS.

Screw them for not trying to protect this young child from their predator friend….

Zurflu · 2021-12-20T16:52:42+00:00

Any time his friends go out with the two of them they are publicly co-signing the relationship. They're normalizing this.

In case OP somehow reads this, people who see you with them in public 100% think you're a p*do sympathizer.

katiekat0214 · 2021-12-20T16:37:02+00:00

Honestly just say THAT: she's still a child, regardless of the legal age of consent. She clearly doesn't fit in, looks out of place, looks miserable. Dude, what the hell are you thinking? ARE you even thinking? Date someone your own age, man, because this makes me really, really uncomfortable. I mean, our friend --- has a DAUGHTER close to her age. Seriously, man... really?

ms_monquis · 2021-12-20T17:32:23+00:00

It’s more the lack of backbone that bothers me. He knows it’s wrong and is so uncomfortable that he can’t even talk to her. But he can’t stand up to him? If someone came over to my house with their minor girlfriend, I would kick them out and never invite them over again. He doesn’t even need to have a confrontation. Just stop hanging out with this dude. It’s easy. Also, he is doing this at his own detriment. Maybe 16 is the age of consent ,but they’re smoking and drinking in front of a 17 year old girl who, I am sure, is doing the same. You could probably wrap that into Delinquency of a Minor. And where are her parents? Why are they letting her date a 35 year old man? I’m guessing she is probably troubled. Who’s to say that her parents won’t try to save her by pressing charges and suing? There’s a lot of room for that.

kumquat_fds · 2021-12-20T16:45:19+00:00

I had an ex who told me that at an event, he and his friends (late 20s) met these two teenage girls and a guy in his group started following them around. They would all talk about how creepy that was, but didn’t confront him at all about it. I asked him why HE didn’t call him out and he just was stumped.

Guys like this care more about their reputation among their bRoS than a vulnerable person’s safety. It also shows he’s so far removed from the reality of women’s experiences that he can’t be bothered to rock the boat even a little bit. Needless to say, my vagina made the Windows shutdown noise.

OP in that post has his tail between his legs. Pathetic. Dude, fucking CALL HIM OUT. There’s no “nice” way to do this. This is a literal child. How the hell are you not compelled to just do something about it?

ms_monquis · 2021-12-20T21:29:34+00:00

"Technically it's legal..." He says that multiple times.

Dog fucking is "technically legal" in a lot of places, too. Think he'd be comfortable being "judgmental" about his adult friend doing that?

kansascitydream · 2021-12-20T17:27:51+00:00

If you are vetting a man and he has ANYONE like this in their friend group, block and delete him.

lolmemberberries · 2021-12-20T17:34:47+00:00

This guy's silence is consent. His friend is a grown man grooming a child less than half his age. He's condoning the relationship by saying nothing and socializing with this couple. Men need to think more carefully about what they are choosing NOT to take a stance against and what that says about the content of their character instead of tap dancing around the feelings of their bros.

Digital_Coyote · 2021-12-20T16:38:16+00:00

Probably because they've bought in to the belief they're supposed to chase significantly younger women as a matter of biological impulse.

They know it's suspect and gross--one of them gets it acutely because he has a child the same age as this one and, if he's worth a damn, is wondering if he's ever done anything to her--but it's not enough to move them. Once she hits 18, they'll probably stop caring entirely because of the barely legal fantasy many of them have.

"...[T]echnically it's not illegal." Translation: they know he's fucking her. Technically, it may be legal (and the loopholes allowing grown ass men to exploit the law should be closed) but if your friend is fucked up enough that women his own age don't want to be bothered with him, he's most definitely bad news for a kid. The rest of them are shit adults, too, for trying to "include" her when they really need to take her home to her parents and make better friends. It doesn't matter she doesn't get your references and makes you feel even older: she shouldn't be there at all.

Edit: This is also a good time to remind people that teen pregnancies are often fathered by significantly older men like this one. The majority of fathers don't marry the mothers and they skip on child support This dude might wreck this kid's life entirely before it begins.

And then she'd have to deal with the scrotes claiming unwed mothers are defective.

Sage_Planter · 2021-12-20T17:17:04+00:00

In my early 30's, I was in a relationship with a man in his early 40's. I felt young and out of place in his friend group at times even though my career and finances were on par with the lot. I can't even imagine the dynamic here...

Eyeroll to how OP has to point out many times "it's technically legal." Come on.

Vivid-Creampuff · 2021-12-20T21:45:16+00:00

I broke up with a guy when I was 27 and so was he, after a year cause I knew it wasn’t going anywhere. We had the same friend group and a fairly amicable breakup, so I would see him occasionally. He started dating a 18 year old about a year after me, and surprise, I was the only one in our friend group to call him out on how gross that was. And I was made out to be the bad guy and jealous by the rest of my “friends” (all genders took his side 🙄🙄🙄) I quit hanging out with those LV people and I don’t remember half of their names. LV people will always defend predatory behavior of others and the guy who posted this is LV for not calling that guy out and ending friendships with anyone who endorsed that behavior.

JadeBaby2211 · 2021-12-20T18:22:24+00:00

Why is he trying to be kind to a man who is clearly into being a pedophile. Be a man and roast him ffs.

Hhjjuuy · 2021-12-21T09:06:06+00:00

As if a young woman in her 20s wouldn't also be out of place in a mid-late 30s crowd. And notice how he even brought that up? Like he wouldn't care about her being a literal high schooler if she just looked a little older. So much to unpack.

Also "it's technically legal." Yeah no shit, 16 is the age of consent so that 16 year olds can have sex with other 16 year olds not full grown adults Jesus Christ. Also on "it's technically legal" I'd bet anything this guy smoked weed when it wasn't legal. Or dabbled in coke/MDMA etc. He might even spout ACAB when he's trying to attract a certain type of woman. He knows full well that legality is not morality but still uses "legality" to his friend's defense.

Fro_Reallzz0211 · 2021-12-20T17:47:37+00:00

Men claim to be so tough but rarely call out the assholes they see everyday. It's easier to just give excuses 'I don't know how to confront them', 'he's a grown ass man, he's gonna do what he wants regardless of what I say'. Funny how they have no issues telling women what they feel we're doing wrong, though.

throwawaynevermindit · 2021-12-20T18:30:40+00:00

He needs to be permanently, forcefully ejected from the friend group, bare minimum, possibly to lose his job, etc. Ideally the AoC would be raised at least a year and he'd be prosecuted. It's long past time society turned this into a "fuck around and find out" situation for people that do it.

qazzovuoi · 2021-12-20T17:22:54+00:00

Ideally the legal age of consent should be 25-27 like the maturity of the prefrontal cortex & the education for a well paying job Not when a girl start mestruating like in my fvkn sht country

scorchedsouI · 2021-12-21T04:21:40+00:00

There are places in this world where violently raping little children on the marital bed is legal. There have been times where slavery was legal.

Does whether or not it's legal matter in a world where pedophilic old males, like the one dating the young girl in the post, are the ones making the laws to suit their needs and beliefs?

Davina33 · 2021-12-21T09:33:13+00:00

I would never accept this behaviour from a woman friend but funnily enough women have enough morals not to prey on teenagers. If a friend of mine did this, I would tell her about herself and ghost her. I hope this man confronts him. It's wrong yet so many men see nothing wrong in it. This poor girl is going to feel pretty hurt once she gets into her late 20s/30s and matures enough to understand what this 35 year old scrote has done.

I'm 36 and even a 30 year old man seems young to me, our tastes mature as we get older yet men seem to want teenage girls and 20-25 year olds no matter how old they get.

TeenyBeans1013 · 2021-12-20T21:24:09+00:00

I dated a 36yo man when I was 18. We quasi lived together for 3 years. The only person who ever spoke up against it was his brother's girlfriend. She said a few times how inappropriate it was. It hurt my feelings a lot at the time, how uncomfortable she was when I was around, but now? At 40-something, I think about her all the time with so much respect.

Thank you for trying, Angie 🙏

aquietsword · 2021-12-20T19:25:53+00:00

Ah yes, the law. If a bunch of gross ass men decided this was legal at one point, why think critically for yourself and stand for your beliefs? No no , must act like scrote sheep instead and just post on reddit so you feel like you've don't all you could.

laylaloolah · 2021-12-20T17:23:21+00:00

Went out with some people the other night. 41 year old man with a 21 year old. Me: I’m 33 and when I went on a date with someone who was 24 years old, it was really awkward. Nothing in common, very different places in life. Even if it were just sex, it would’ve felt really icky. I straight up said that. Don’t even know the guy. Would say it to any friend, but I’m not friends with guys like that.

machiavella_89 · 2021-12-20T23:38:44+00:00

It's really wild that he is framing this situation as "awkward" rather than horrifying. 90% of his concern appears to be that this teenager doesn't fit in with his friend group and she's bringing down the vibe. If she could drink and was filled out enough to register as "hot" in OP's opinion, would he still be worried that his friend is grooming a kid?

There seems to be so little worry about the girl herself.

Novemberinthechair · 2021-12-20T20:41:24+00:00

Um, call the cops on him. Or drop a note to her parents. Or let the young lady know he's using her.

Thestral-glow6 · 2021-12-20T17:15:24+00:00

OP you need to black out the sub name in that first screenshot.

Kilogramedeganduri · 2021-12-20T18:29:07+00:00

And that's why the cycle of violence and injustice is perpetuated. Because of those who see things that are wrong but never speak about them. Because of "good men". Almost all the women I know have been witnesses to dangerous situations where the men in their life were silent.

MsWriteNow07 · 2021-12-20T21:43:50+00:00

The men in the situation are all LV as fuck, but I’m surprise the women didn’t say anything. Over 20, women will normally go with the messed up flow as well, but under 18, they typically speak up.

JeanneBaret · 2021-12-20T21:26:39+00:00

How does he deal with his rapey friend bringing a 17 year old around?

Does he try to protect her or make her feel as safe and comfortable as possible. Does he try to find out about her circumstances and check on what’s going on in the relationship?

No. He ignores her and judges her for making HIM feel uncomfortable.

Going by the established rule of “half your age plus 7 years” a 35 year old shouldn’t date anyone under the age of 24-25. This guy is a predator.

ElevatedEmpress · 2021-12-22T17:21:31+00:00

I still get snide remarks about the time I drunkenly made our “friend,” who brought a teen girl to a party, uncomfortable by immediately exclaiming “what, are you mentally disabled? Molested as a child? What the fuck is wrong with you?” In front of everyone. It was messy, but I don’t regret it. She wasn’t the exception, she was the target.

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Gologic34 · 2021-12-21T08:52:46+00:00

Absurd. Must be fake. Friendship dealbreaker, she is a child.

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