Things like this are becoming more and more common. Squeeze in the wrong area of the neck and she easily could have gotten real brain damage (from the lack of oxygen). Be careful out there ladies.

m_r_rosewood · 2021-12-23T04:15:39+00:00

This brought up some painful memories, I'm a survivor of a murder attempt, and the scrote tried to do it by choking me, so I get triggered every time anyone puts a hand on my neck area.

It's really sad that she needs other people to confirm that this is a red flag. The guy is very obviously a psychopath and a necrophile, she should get as far away from him as possible before she ends up dead and he rapes her dead body.

And "breath play" should be classified as abuse, not a kink. Getting off on seeing your partner struggling to breathe is NOT normal. I can't even believe I had to type out that sentence..

CheetahEnergy · 2021-12-23T02:46:24+00:00

He continued to fk her while she was unconscious????? You know the societal gaslighting of women is bad when a woman has to ask the internet whether this is a red flag.

millennialpink2000 · 2021-12-23T04:13:04+00:00

When she got to “my friends think he has serial killer vibes” 👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

QueenAlice3 · 2021-12-23T03:21:16+00:00

And the scrotes shout- But did she ask for it?!!

Yes, of course, women are always “asking” to be unexpectedly murdered…. /s

vitryolic · 2021-12-23T03:30:48+00:00

This guy is a rapist. Continuing to have sex without someone who is unconscious is rape. “Can’t help his roughness” is the biggest gaslight ever.

She tries assert a serious boundary and he shows he has 0 care for her consent, well-being, survival, considering he could have brain damaged or killed her from the lack of oxygen.

Eqvvi · 2021-12-23T05:16:43+00:00

"I can't help it, I'm [ethnicity]" is a shit excuse for violent behavior. This is exactly what I mean by sociopathic, narcissistic, and/or psychopathic traits invading the mainstream culture. Disgusting.

GlitteryMoss · 2021-12-23T06:14:24+00:00

Some women need to stop using the 'but I love him' excuse; she is afraid to bring up HER OWN SAFETY to him, that is not love you feel for him! That is bottom of the barrel desperation.

So what if you think you love him? He is dangerous to your health.

aquietsword · 2021-12-23T05:58:20+00:00

Somehow the SCROTE ended up pissed off and she's worried about bringing up his actual fucking actions??? He belongs in prison for rape because he is a fucking rapist.

scorchedsouI · 2021-12-23T06:04:04+00:00

Of course he doesn't care if he harms her. He does it all the time, multiple times a day, during what's supposed to be their most intimate and vulnerable moments.

He regularly strangles her, and strangling a woman isn't that far from strangling a woman to death. It takes just a few more seconds to cut off blood flow to the brain, and you're out like a light.

He beats her and strangles her when he fucks her. He doesn't give a fuck about her. When a man loves a woman, he doesn't do this even if she's crazy enough to beg him.

Edit: I read the edit, and she's somehow even dumber than I thought.

Astral_weaver · 2021-12-23T06:46:39+00:00

"My boyfriend almost killed me, is this a red flag?"

Run for your life sis.

fdsonlynoscrubs · 2021-12-23T07:36:22+00:00

“He’s Russian and can’t help his roughness.” 🤮

MsWriteNow07 · 2021-12-23T05:52:50+00:00

I’m so grateful she has sane friends were telling her to get the hell away from him. Hopefully she listens

extraodi · 2021-12-23T05:26:04+00:00

She got SA-ed by her own boyfriend. It’s a wrap. She needs to RUN!

Unlikely-Marzipan · 2021-12-23T07:36:14+00:00

This brought me to tears. I feel so bad for the young women and girls out there’s these days. This is so similar to what happened with a narc I dated - he also laughed the next day and gaslit me saying “you told me to do it” and you know what? He gaslit me and hurt me in MANY other ways.

This young woman’s friends are on the money - he is scary. They never talked about it. He didn’t have her consent (which shouldn’t fcking matter anyway - what does it tell you about the psychology of a man who LIKES to do this?! Multiple counsellors/ psychs bought this to my attention when I spoke about it).

PLUS he laughed and gaslit her. He is getting off on the power. This may get better for a while if she stands her ground, but I can guarantee this is going to get much more sinister over time. That’s exactly what happened with me. He tried to drug me later on down the line and when that didn’t work he still started choking me again. Plus throwing in lines how he almost killed someone once in his past etc.

These guys don’t get better. They get worse.

I really hope she leaves. I hope she sees this. And if she does I hope she knows she can reach out to me or any of us on here. I’m really scared for her. This breaks my heart.

Edit: Multiple counsellors also said to me that they usually recommend women get urgent medical attention when they have bruises because some severe internal damage could’ve already occurred.

Playbackfromwayback · 2021-12-23T08:19:03+00:00

I literally personally know someone who was joking around with a neck hold and the person being held had a stroke. A very serious life changing injury.

I’m saddened by how porn has created men who just can’t get off unless they’re hurting a woman. Porn escalates and escalates and the term porn sick (learned here) is very true.

TikiTikiTata-chalala · 2021-12-23T02:48:02+00:00

God, I can and can't believe this is so common- men are literally practicing killing us. The only trend that can come after this is f*cking cadavrs

KateJ1982 · 2021-12-23T04:19:35+00:00

The fact that she thinks there’s anything sexy about being degraded and abused is an indication that she desperately needs therapy. She’s not mentally well enough to assert any boundaries, so it’s no surprise that she’s just not sure how to react when someone tries to kill her and rapes her while she’s unconscious. She thinks this is love?!?! Devastatingly sad for her.

vaporwav3r · 2021-12-23T12:52:09+00:00

I had a feeling this post was going to end up here 😂😂 and yes, if anyone is curious, there were people [read: men] in the comments defending this sadistic gulag warlord of a boyfriend.

ConfusedBisexual1992 · 2021-12-23T11:57:10+00:00

Did he seriously try to use his ethnicity as an excuse? Because one of my exes was Russian as well, and while he was toxic in other ways, he never tried to hurt me during sex.

myeggsarebig · 2021-12-23T10:07:31+00:00

This comment got me all kinds of fucked up:

“Hey girl! I love to be chocked and my Fiancé is pretty good at it. He used to make me pass out for a few seconds (i consented to it and enjoyed it) but he stopped doing that after he read articles on how passing out is bad for your brain. He cared enough to stop! He stills chokes me but not hard enough to make me pass out. You deserve someone who cares for you.”

WTF

2021-12-23T03:23:17+00:00

I’m so glad I don’t have any kind of masochist kinks. It’s saved me from chasing abusive LVMs over the years.

2021-12-23T13:28:58+00:00

Sex 2 times a day? Do this humans work? Have a life?

Im_Not_Honey · 2021-12-23T02:58:12+00:00

The fact that he didn't stop, AND the fact that HE CHOKED YOU OUT are both called RED. FLAGS. I'm pretty sure that you can't consent to sex if you are unconscious...Is she SERIOUSLY asking what to do?! It's not common sense to leave the violent scrote?? She really needed advice?

What he needs, is a sexual assault charge, and a good, swift kick in the arse back to the sewer he crawled out of.

Ocean417 · 2021-12-23T03:21:50+00:00

This is so scary. The fact that he didn’t care even more so. Note her other words “I don’t want to make him angry”. She is petrified of him. He choked her out, didn’t care and she feels like she can’t bring this up or it will anger him. Horrific. Also “breath play” you have GOT to be kidding me

baeyayrea · 2021-12-23T04:21:05+00:00

So he raped her, and she wants to know if she should try to communicate about it? Good god. This guy is dangerous and women need to stop gaslighting themselves into normalizing this and LISTEN TO THEIR FEAR! It is a self protective instinct!

blueeeekat · 2021-12-23T13:57:52+00:00

Ok seriously this is fucking ridiculous.

I am more dominant and ive had men ask me to put my hand on their neck. Out of EVERYTHING i have done, this is the only thing i am not a huge fan of because theres potential to actually harm the other person. And whenever i do it, i do it lightly to make sure its SAFE because if the other person wants me to do it harder, they can just ask. But i never want anyone to feel in danger or actually cause physical harm. ESPECIALLY to someone i care about.

Like what the actual fuck is wrong with this guy! Does he even care about her at all? He should be arrested for this.

Also... why do men have to justify their actions in such a scuffed way. Legit I had an ex that kept pushing when I said I wasnt in the mood. Ofc after a while he stopped (perks of being a physically strong woman i guess). The next day i brought this up because 1. It was rapey 2. I didnt appreciate him not listening to me and 3. Just wtf.

He legit said "well if you care about someone you want to make them happy. Like even if youre not in the mood, youd still do it because youd want to make them happy".

I was fucking speechless. This logic killed a lot of braincells.

Emergency-Feed8216 · 2021-12-23T14:58:55+00:00

"Really, really great relationship"... She needs therapy and he belongs in jail.

GodILoveTheEnglish · 2021-12-23T15:37:29+00:00

So he strangled her, r*ped her unconscious body, her friends think he’s got serial killer tendencies, and she’s asking if it’s a red flag???

caramel-milkshake · 2021-12-23T04:01:35+00:00

Boyfriend squeezed my throat for so long during sex I passed out. Red flag?

Um. Your boyfriend could have killed you. Yes that is a red flag, run.

WhenLeavesFall · 2021-12-23T18:55:17+00:00

When I was younger, I thought vanilla sex was really boring. Turns out it’s not boring at all, it’s the men who are terrible.

imnotfitforexistence · 2021-12-23T16:40:30+00:00

She doesn't want to bring it up with with again because it will make him angry and that pissed him off??

She was the one who passed out, the one who was disrespected and even laughed at and she is still worried about making HIM angry.

She needs to stay away from him, away from that kind of relationship altogether, and get some self respect.

I hope everything goes well for her.

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entpgirl415 · 2021-12-23T17:03:09+00:00

RUSSIAN AND DOING THIS SHIT?!?!? This man is probably a serial killer. I’m sorry but from my experience Russian men are such garbage and the biggest misogynist sickos I’ve ever met. But I may be biased since im Russian 😂

engineergorl · 2021-12-24T07:16:04+00:00

I hate how choking during sex or “breathplay” has become so normalized through porn. It’s dangerous! How many men actually take the time to learn about the risks? Not to mention, strangulation is a strong predictor of getting murdered by an intimate partner. Any man who truly loves and cares for you will not be down with choking you!

jinxyseb · 2021-12-23T23:29:15+00:00

You know it’s going to be a toxic shit show when they preface by saying things like how much they love them/he is a perfect partner and couldn’t imagine being with anyone else…. He only almost killed you, then dismissed, gaslit you, and you are afraid of his reaction. Totally salvageable! /s

RuminatingRhino · 2021-12-23T03:20:10+00:00

[permanently deleted]

spinsterchachkies · 2021-12-28T16:56:47+00:00

Girl….. She is lucky to be alive.

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