I don’t understand why men are so cruel. Rant.

Bikkie5233 · 2022-02-11T21:04:20+00:00

They throw that at every woman they don’t like because they think a woman’s worth depends on her weight and therefore her pickability and fuckability. I got called fat by scrotes when I was underweight. Your actual weight doesn’t matter to them, they just want to throw something insulting at you. They really do think it’s insulting for us to not picked by them when it’s honestly just a blessing!

aeorimithros · 2022-02-11T21:35:43+00:00

You are right.

You don't deserve any of this.

Men are cruel because they've been socialised to hate women, they don't see us as human. They see us as consumables.

tomaito_tomarto · 2022-02-11T21:39:14+00:00

Lundy Bancroft covers this in his book 'Why Does He Do That?'

This excerpt is about men and women in a relationship but IMPO it can also be interpreted as how abusive men treat women in general. I think the same rules apply. Replace "partner" with "women" and it still reads true.

REALITY #4: He disrespects his partner and considers himself superior to her.

Most abusers verbally attack their partners in degrading, revolting ways. They reach for the words that they know are most disturbing to women, such as bitch, whore and cunt, often preceded by the word fat. These words assault her humanity, reducing her to an animal, a nonliving object, or a degraded sexual body part.

Through these carefully chosen epithets - and my clients sometimes admit that they use the most degrading words they can think of - abusers make their partners feel both debased and unsafe.

By depersonalizing his partner, the abuser protects himself from the natural human emotions of guilt and empathy, so that he can sleep at night with a clear conscience. He distances himself so far from her humanity that her feelings no longer count, or simply cease to exist.

Abuse and respect are diametric opposites: You do not respect someone whom you abuse, and you do not abuse someone whom you respect.

They have no respect for you, they don't want to hear the things you have to say and they want to knock you down a notch so that they still see themselves as superior. Insulting you to bring you down is one of the ways they attempt to lift themselves up.

Read the book, the link is in the handbook.

starsinthesky8435 · 2022-02-11T21:48:11+00:00

So I looked for your post and the comments are typical. All contradicting what men say elsewhere. You’re only good enough for a hookup because “It’s easy for men to get average women for sex” when literally everywhere else it’s men complaining that they can’t get laid easily enough. It’s exhausting how they will say whatever they need to in the moment. Zero consistency in their worldview.

As to why they say it cruel things, In their minds if you can’t get a relationship you must be unattractive and if you’re an unattractive woman they’re mean to you because you don’t have anything they want. They’re only polite to people they can get something out of. Men who are like this aren’t worth thinking about. They’re broken.

electricgumi · 2022-02-11T21:29:27+00:00

Society has men believing that they are God's greatest creation. The best way to defend yourselves from these men is to just block and delete. Men like these value any reaction, good or bad. That is why they say stuff that is outrageous and untrue. They live sad lives.

SureWarthog6076 · 2022-02-11T21:56:44+00:00

I can’t stand men commenting on womens bodies! I was once told your way thinner than I usually like 😳 okay, then another guy I went out on a date with was like hmm you need to tone up and loose some weight! You cannot win and I don’t need some beer guy critiquing my body! My point is men are trash and they want someone with a perfect body even though their body isn’t even close to in shape! I think they use it as a way to undermine your confidence because honestly they know your to good for them!

Vaahla · 2022-02-11T22:32:50+00:00

I got told I was fat at 5’7” and 110lbs so it’s all relative and it’s all bullshit 🙄

That said, the location you asked that question…what response were you expecting? You posted with generic information looking for validation from strangers (men) on the internet.

🤨 if you go dumpster diving, expect to find trash.

AshaVose · 2022-02-11T22:00:40+00:00

I'm heavy, and on the rare occasions I'm out alone in public I receive romantic interest from men frequently. They only say it when they want to hurt you. The same way they call you promiscuous when you say no to them. They feel rejected, so they try and reject back. Women are better than this, and demonstrate by ignoring.

lvrcalii · 2022-02-11T21:54:18+00:00

I recently experienced something like this. It was in a male dominated professional group where someone asked for info about the profession itself. I offered the info they requested (since I, you know, do the job full time and all) with kindness and transparency and was then attacked and downvoted by a lot of males. I actually left the group, because why would I risk my joy for that nonsense?

Honestly, I have found that people who are on reddit mostly have 1 of 2 goals. Goal 1: collaborate with others and improve self. Goal 2: condemn others to feel "better" about self.

If you recognize that people are in group 2- fuck em. I know that's easier said than done, but what really helps is understanding that is has NOTHING to do with you, it is based on their own perceptions and experiences. Be grateful that you aren't them, you are one of us and we would never treat someone that way. ❤❤

Thestral-glow6 · 2022-02-11T23:34:10+00:00

OP I’ve just seen your other post and some of those comments are brutal and disgusting.. Look, Reddit is NOT the place for you to be posting/asking for advice; except for this sub sis. Fuck those horrible bastards on your other post. Fuck them all. 🖕🏼🖕🏼

ItsFreezen · 2022-02-11T21:58:57+00:00

Society coddles them and gives them EVERYTHING, there's nothing to humble them.

JulyParade · 2022-02-11T21:44:47+00:00

They don't actually care that you're not obese. They want to get under your skin. And they did.

InjuryOnly4775 · 2022-02-11T22:00:28+00:00

Immature men care about a women’s weight because they want to project to other men an attitude of having superior tastes and ability to obtain women that are seen as attractive by dominant male culture. This is male toxicity being projected onto women and please don’t take it personally. High quality men see women as a person and do not criticize their appearance or berate them. Let’s face it, behind closed doors most if not all men will take any opportunity to have sex with any women, overweight, unattractive etc. that they can get. They will and make no mistake all of this behaviour is about them, not you. This also means that a guy will bang you if given the opportunity and it doesn’t mean he thinks you’re attractive or even likes you. It took me decades to learn this, I regretfully admit. Feel free to leave any toxic social media that exposes you to men that are a threat to your self image, because these guys are looking for free prostitution and porn, and are not the type worth dating anyway. Hugs to you poster, I’ve been there and trust there are men out there that will respect you, but as women we need to be really clear as to what behaviour we will not tolerate.

4evaneva · 2022-02-12T01:34:37+00:00

Hon, I read your post and those replies are out of line. When I was on OLD years ago, I got and dated plenty of guys and my BMI is obese.

What the truth is, is that there are very few HVM on OLD.

FDS saved me because I finally came to accept that I might not have a partner in this life because I refuse to settle now.

I hope you find someone who understands your worth.

Technical_Moth248 · 2022-02-12T03:53:23+00:00

I checked out the post and I went through a bit of your history. They are definitely out of line but you should not be wasting your time asking a bunch of reddit dudes why you can't get anyone. They aren't going to offer you anything worthwhile and the obvious insecurity is only going to make them excited to pick at you in any way they can think of. They are not and will never give you the kind of validation you're looking for and you shouldn't be trying to gain it from them anyway.

Also you really should delete a lot of your identifying info or make a separate account. It is frightening to see how much you've shared on your profile knowing how violent some of the lurkers here are.

KetoKittenAround · 2022-02-11T23:42:17+00:00

This is what they do.

Like the guy who calls you fat when you turn him down. It’s just like a kid throwing a tantrum. Lol

Men literally try to have sex with food items, they aren’t really worried about weight. They are VERY worried about rejection… it makes them all sorts of mad LOL

WCAttorney · 2022-02-12T01:07:11+00:00

Men encourage behavior that is cruel, unethical and untrustworthy.

Women do not.

girl_NO_ · 2022-02-11T21:59:02+00:00

I'm sorry. Males are testerical. I did grow up around incredibly cruel women, if that helps you feel better somehow that everyone sucks... (not trying to MUH BOTH SIDISM this but this makes me genuinely feel less shitty, barely.

Constant-Wanderer · 2022-02-12T06:05:32+00:00

Men do this, but not good men.

Therefore, if good men are not the ones saying this, the ones who say it are shit men.

Who cares what shit men say.

And the “why” is that they’re fucking stupid, the world is just their audience, and they think they’re funny. “Hurr durr and then I told her she was fat durr, she cried ha ha ha” like no that didn’t happen, you’re a mental midget and literally no one takes you seriously.

These guys don’t matter, they aren’t real men, they’re barely people at all. They’re the mediocre masses who buy the same beige slacks and wish they were brave enough to stuff a sock in their pants to look like they could swing dick like they talk.

Who gives a shit what shit men give.

Antique_Fortune6974 · 2022-02-12T06:25:57+00:00

First person to find a male being told to "LoWer YoUr sTaNdArDs" gets an award.

Besides that, I'm sorry OP, they're cruel because they're playing follow the leader within their group, because it benefits them to try and keep us down.( Patriarchy).

Notice how they said(Read your post)."lower your standards " they want women to do so,because they always want women giving them a chance when they don't deserve one.

asupernova91 · 2022-02-12T06:35:22+00:00

When they can’t attack your logic or your intelligence they go after your looks. They think “fat” is the worst thing a woman can hear 🙄 please. Don’t let it get to you, Reddit is full of scrotes.

azulalalala · 2022-02-11T23:34:32+00:00

I'm sorry you went through that! From experience they have no idea how bodies work. When I used to work out everyday I weighed more because I had more muscle mass, but most people thought that was when I was at my lightest (we are talking about like a 8-10lbs difference).

Take a break from online dating and focus on things you like doing e.g. hobbies/studies/work. Spend some time on yourself! Online dating is mostly for people interested in one night stands/hooking up etc. so it may skew your perspective of reality. The apps in general benefit more from hook up culture, since people don't leave the app and continue to use them.

Meredeen · 2022-02-13T17:50:52+00:00

Men cannot take even a fraction of the bullshit we put up with from them honestly

xfelugirlx · 2022-02-12T03:42:09+00:00

They just wsnt you to feel low so they can have a chance lol, don’t give then the power to make you feel o think bad, they dont deserve it

_queeeen_ · 2022-02-12T02:29:25+00:00

Someone asking you to be friends with benefits with with them is honestly so embarrassing for them.

mandoa_sky · 2022-02-12T05:23:23+00:00

i have no interest in "men" who are shallow. it's nice that they make themselves easy for me to identify.

smart-tart23 · 2022-02-12T04:01:12+00:00

Isn’t it just total BS!!

t3ddi · 2022-02-12T02:32:33+00:00

Thats exactly right. You don't deserve this kind of behaviour❤️

Commercial_Place9807 · 2022-02-13T16:17:57+00:00

My weight fluctuates a lot, being fat is the easiest way to see how men see women. It’s staggering how truly hateful they are to you if you’re fat and for no reason, like just living your life, minding your business and they loathe you.

They only respect women in their capacity to do something for their dicks. If she isn’t attractive to men then she is deemed worthless and so why should she be treated with humanity? They really don’t think we are people beyond our ability to get them hard.

spinsterchachkies · 2022-02-13T19:50:36+00:00

No one deserves that. They may have seen that you are a member of this sub and assumed you were some “fat ugly old cat lady”. That’s what Reddit men like to tell themselves that we are anyways. So don’t take it personally. Their abuse means nothing.

Same with OLD. Men are pushing women farther and farther away with their unattractive and gross behavior. They complain how theres no women on OLD but drive us all away with their behavior. They are their own problem. They just can’t own up to it.

Title	I don’t understand why men are so cruel. Rant.
Author	bambina133
Upvotes	555
Comments	61
Date	February 11, 2022 8:57 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/sq9dzp/i_dont_understand_why_men_are_so_cruel_rant/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/i-dont-understand-why-men-are-so-cruel-rant.1101178 https://theredarchive.com/post/1101178

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