I think all men are the same, tbh

somethingpunny2 · 2020-03-22T21:09:44+00:00

I understand your frustration- and I do believe MOST men are the same (in that sex is the dominant desire in a relationship).

There are good men out there. There are great men out there. My dad is the epitome of a good guy. He has had women clamoring for him before marrying my mom and after her death. It made him uncomfortable and he is very careful in his relationships (quality over quantity).

I believe the reason I haven’t been able to commit to marriage, and neither have my sisters- is because no man of today (that I’ve met) measures up.

My sister entered a lesbian relationship a few years ago. I had difficulty wrapping my head around it as she had been straight her whole life (until 40yo). I asked her what it was about her GF that she liked, when she said “she makes me feel safe”- I swear everything clicked.

Women have difficulty feeling safe (emotionally, physically and sexually) with men. Myself included. That’s pretty sad. But there are good men out there- I’m just not waiting around for one.

lluviaazul · 2020-03-22T22:13:59+00:00

I often feel the same. my father and two brothers are lvm .. just honestly pieces of shit. My mom feels stuck and thinks it’s her duty to remain unhappy caring for these useless men until she dies. I tell her leave leave and she won’t.. maybe one day she’ll finally do it. I’ve never been exposed to an actual good marriage my parents aren’t it and literally no one in my family is either. I’ve always grown up thinking men are useless and women are too kind. Growing up I watched my mom bend over backwards to please my dad and he’s never done anything for her and I mean nothing absolutely nothing. No birthday gifts when I say nothing I literally mean nothing. Not even one I love you. It’s really sad. But thankfully I’ve learned to never set the bar low. I don’t take shit from men. I’ve had two pickme instances and never again. The thought of ending up with someone like my dad.. I’d rather kill myself.

bb_baby-axe · 2020-03-22T20:42:47+00:00

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PutItInReverse · 2020-03-23T01:47:34+00:00

People who are commenting about their fathers and brothers and uncles being Good Guys(TM)... I’m glad you all had great relationships with these men, but you know them in a different context than say, a woman who isn’t blood family and who isn’t their child knows them. You also knew them at a certain point in their lives and not before, and any info you have from times before you knew them is second hand and edited. All people have secrets and pasts, and not all of it is good.

I’m not saying that men are all bad, but what I’m saying is, you can be a Good Guy(TM) now and treat your nieces and daughters well and have done some sloppy, selfish, cruel things due to either ignorance, negligence or immaturity, or even straight up malice and now are reformed and are “good.” But that doesn’t change who they hurt on their way to becoming “good men.”

Some people have no idea the stuff their fathers put their mothers through earlier on in their marriages or during difficult times, the marriages that seemed so strong and loving. Or their uncles, or brothers, etc.

eatchickpeas · 2020-03-22T21:17:50+00:00

i really REALLY believe all men are the same. they are just different in how they hide their mask. even HVM who are caring partners and pull their weight, even those men have nasty thoughts about women in the back of their heads

siberiansummer · 2020-03-22T19:51:05+00:00

I know a few HVMs that are married to my gfs. Idk. You are probably right. I had that idea before. My LVM good looking ex was surprisingly very very faithful. Like I snooped around in his phone, social media, browsing history and in 10 years he didn’t give me any reason to doubt him. Also I never saw him looking at other women 🤷‍♀️ He was a lazy piece of shit though. Maybe that’s why lol. Too lazy to even look at other women

alchademy · 2020-03-22T20:02:38+00:00

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throwaway23004345 · 2020-03-22T19:08:12+00:00

I’m 27 and I’ve been single my whole life. All men are awful. They are taught to be self serving. Some more than others. I know I am too old to have “love” in that sense. Women are taught to be nice and nurturing while men just take take take and give NOTHING in return. They are worthless. Men use to be the providers and protectors but now women are forced to take that role because men are so unreliable and pointless. They are one track minded and useless. They think they fucking know everything.

poulette12 · 2020-03-22T20:57:21+00:00

I feel you: a lot of men are users. I bet most of them are very sexually deviant and emotional leeches. However, the “all women are good“ is not true. Tons of women are awful friends, mothers, partners, and human beings in general. Women lie, women cheat, women financially abuse people too. In the current times, both men and women went to party at the beaches in Miami. Stay away from vampire men, but don’t go as far as believing that somehow all women are good just because they’re not men. Your female friends will fuck you over too.

rinabean · 2020-03-22T20:14:56+00:00

They're not all the same, but you're right that they have very little incentive to behave normally. But, not all men need an incentive. And I think if a man is only acting properly because of what it gets him, he isn't high value at all. There are loads of men who adore their overweight old wives for starters.

But you will almost certainly have better luck with women.

JuddHerpatow · 2020-03-22T21:29:39+00:00

One point of distinction my father was a criminal and he was very, very smart. He just didn't care. Intelligence has nothing to do with caring. Saying they're mentally incapable to comprehend their behavior gives them a free pass. Men don't deserve free passes.

Sewud · 2020-03-23T05:55:31+00:00

I ask myself these questions. It does seem like all men are entitled. I wonder if they simply feel entitled to things and don't realize they are using people, or if they consciously try to be selfish to get more out of people.

I also ask myself if they only reign it in with a strong-headed woman who puts them in their place and if they'll always take advantage of the more submissive women. I feel like the moment we're weak they walk all over us.

I think some men can be dumb and selfless. But it's hard to know. Is he a kind janitor who volunteers to help his community, or is he a creep who goes home to weird internet sexual fetishes? They both exist. Roll a dice.

nutshit · 2020-03-23T00:38:05+00:00

Aaaaaaand this is why at the young age of 21, I’m using this to my advantage. Ladies PLEASE do not waste your beauty and time sticking with 1 loser for 6 years. You will regret missing out and not enjoying your life as is. Honestly I get what I need from men and keep it pushing, I love my solitude and I have friends so a man doesn’t really do it for me. I only like men with money and to have fun with. Being provided for is my priority not emotional fulfillment from them. When I go on dates I go bc it’s fun having them take you out somewhere enjoyable and attempting to impress you— I’m not stuck on the “Is he boyfriend material?” The right guy may or may not come around but I’m not actively looking. I wouldn’t wanna be tied down right now anyway.

throwaway-786786 · 2020-03-23T01:29:01+00:00

I think low libido men tend to be a bit better since they’re not as sex-driven.

Personally, I’ve dated one man who was very sweet and self-effacing. I have above average intuitive abilities and he did not once trigger that “ick” gut feeling I usually get around men.

I only ended things because he wasn’t ambitious. I guess you can only get one or the other 🤷🏻‍♀️.

My grandfather is an example of a HVM. He grew up in an educated, but impoverished family (lost their money) in India though. He worked hard to become a doctor. He is Muslim, but was also very feminist when it came to raising his daughters (one of whom is my mother), and interacting with my grandmother. Just a very respectful, gentle man.

sadpourtoujours · 2020-03-22T21:47:12+00:00

Basically. The sooner women realize this, the better. There are no unicorns.

modernmedusaa · 2020-03-23T08:25:35+00:00

Men have also been spreading the disease by exploiting vulnerable women who fall into prostitution - namely Italy’s Chinese prostitutes

https://www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.aljazeera.com/amp/indepth/features/exploited-turn-lives-italys-chinese-prostitutes-190406220713228.html?client=safari

Verygoodcheese · 2020-03-22T19:11:25+00:00

Eh my husbands awesome so at least one guy isn’t like that. Don’t lose hope. Btw my husband was my best friend for years before we got together so perhaps that is the distinguishing characteristic.

Only date guys who see women as people first, and are wanting to hang out even if it’s platonic till you build an actual relationship.

Peachypinkpwr · 2020-03-22T19:41:51+00:00

I'm so so so fucking done with men. They're all the fucking same.They all have the same gross thoughts. They all just care about one thing... getting their dicks wet.

You're too right! Scrotes are full of disgusting sick perverted thoughts. A true HVM will want to serve you and make your life better! Not just sex.

SslimReaperr · 2020-03-22T20:24:00+00:00

ALL men are influenced by their dick & horniess, some more than others. HVM just seem better at controlling it than LVM.

chungkingxbricks · 2020-03-23T03:35:47+00:00

I agree. It sucks.

2020-03-23T03:46:06+00:00

Couldn't agree more. They only care about sex, social status and money. That's ALL.

Ms_Snicket · 2020-03-23T04:08:10+00:00

Yeah I've accepted that all men are trash in some way, it's just picking what kind of trash you can deal with if you need a relationship for whatever reason or want children.

Of the "best" men in my age group, one is likely pedo-leaning (if not in the closet) and the other is a severe alcoholic.

level_up_always · 2020-03-22T18:48:50+00:00

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Asopaso07 · 2020-03-22T22:03:46+00:00

I’m not a “not all men” person but I feel like your post is asking for reassurance and you’re very specifically saying that all of them are the same at core so I will say, that’s not true.

Think of the men who love chubby , even obese women.

Think of men who marry disabled women.

Think of men who marry poor women.

I have also come across men who have stepped in and risked their well being when they saw me being harassed on a bus or street.

I strongly believe that all people are born craving love and if we do not receive love in a secure and healthy way, it can castrate us in some ways. Think of the quote “a child who is it not embraced by a village will burn it down to feel its warmth”.

I truly believe everything comes down to the love and care we receive in childhood and some men are incredibly compassionate and empathic. I’m lucky that i know a few people like this in my life, including my father who is extremely loving and sensitive.

LadyGrimes · 2020-03-22T20:07:44+00:00

Amen!

2020-03-22T21:21:47+00:00

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JasmineDragon110 · 2020-03-23T06:40:48+00:00

I just remembered this one guy I went on a few dates with. He was 26 and was looking for marriage. After like three dates I mentioned I made up my mind and that I don't think we have a future together but I think he's still really great and wanted a casual thing with him. He refused and said that he is looking for marriage and not casual and he wished me luck.

I was offering myself for free and he didn't take it.

Peachypinkpwr · 2020-03-22T20:37:05+00:00

Is there any way to screen scrotes ahead of time to make sure they don't want sex?

Hedy__Lamarr · 2020-03-23T02:14:45+00:00

The fact that ALL men are flawed is not because they are men, but because they are human. No one is all bad or all good.

I am a good friend, but I'm not a perfect friend. I've done things to a couple of friends when I was younger that I regret.

I am a good mother, but not a perfect one.

I am a good daughter, but not a perfect one.

etc. etc.

Men can be the same. But a lot of men have severe or total deal-breaker traits that totally negate any positive traits they may also possess. As a woman you have to learn which positive traits are just fluff and which negative traits are absolutely unacceptable and have the willpower to immediately cut out a man (or a woman, could be a bad friend) as soon as you notice them.

But human beings are simply more complicated than "all _____ are _____." Good men may be few and far between, but they exist.

A couple of my own must-have traits in a man are the abilities are demonstrated self introspection/self reflection and empathy towards others. I have met a couple men like this in my entire life. It's rare. It's also hard to fake, at least ime.

2020-03-22T19:38:27+00:00

I’m sorry you feel that way. while I do agree that some men are like what you wrote in your OP, when you say “all”, it’s almost always wrong. In my experience, some men tend to go after women they feel they can control easier; like a woman with no friends or family who can protect her. Or they’ll go for a woman with low-self esteem.

Surely there’s at least one man in your family that’s different?

Have you thought about moving to another state or country?

Maybe I'll date women instead when quarantine is over

Please don’t. Sexuality is not a choice.

just_ivy_wtf · 2020-03-23T15:55:25+00:00

Agreed. So there are only two possible ways out: either you GTOW or you grow cold and try to obtain what you want from them

KweenOfKawaii · 2020-03-22T19:36:01+00:00

Agreed

KekCakes · 2020-03-22T22:44:44+00:00

I would agree but a man taught me to be more loving and vulnerable. Not just to him but to others.

invenereveritas · 2020-03-22T21:51:03+00:00

you're not alone, i feel this too

graceanne7 · 2020-03-22T22:59:33+00:00

The only HVM I’ve met or known of are dads. My dad, grandfather, and some dads of family friends. This to me shows that men aren’t capable of maturing and becoming adults until they are raising children, and even then still most don’t.

throwaway-786786 · 2020-03-22T20:46:09+00:00

In my recent experience since becoming religious from the book Jesus Feminist, the only men who I can tolerate are semi "progressive" christian men.

Most males look at me like a pornstar. Christian men have this look I have never seen before. They look at me like I am a painting.

Can't describe it. There is something in religion that can shame men into being tolerable.

Idk. These men are still worms but they are worms who are aware of the worminess. They are aware and humble about the fact that the shit from both ends. Idk

Maybe it is just my experience

gigi_chi · 2020-03-22T19:35:14+00:00

Be careful what you think and believe; Your thoughts will manifest.

laila123456789 · 2020-03-22T19:58:16+00:00

[removed]

TheOGJammies · 2020-03-23T12:43:22+00:00

[removed]

reddituser39683 · 2020-03-23T20:43:13+00:00

r/pinkpillfeminism

Title	I think all men are the same, tbh
Author	laila123456789
Upvotes	289
Comments	203
Date	March 22, 2020 6:43 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/fn4p2b/i_think_all_men_are_the_same_tbh/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/i-think-all-men-are-the-same-tbh.679748 https://theredarchive.com/post/679748

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