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I thought this belongs here...

capresesalad1985
August 27, 2021
2775 upvotes
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy
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Title I thought this belongs here...
Author capresesalad1985
Upvotes 2775
Comments 71
Date August 27, 2021 11:51 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/i-thought-this-belongs-here.1065315
https://theredarchive.com/post/1065315
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/pcz207/i_thought_this_belongs_here/
Top posts by capresesalad1985

Let’s not fund research of a HIGHLY underdiagnosed and treated disease, but how it effects their male partners because sex is too painful 🤦🏼‍♀️

1147 upvotes
March 29, 2022
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy

Ibu-f*ckin-profen - the difference in male and female medical care

956 upvotes
January 13, 2022
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy

I’m so sick of women having to question whether they are crazy for getting upset over things that are completely normal to get upset over!!!!

802 upvotes
March 17, 2022
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy

This review for an odor removing laundry detergent….what the heck is wrong with your husbands health that led to this review????

768 upvotes
March 11, 2022
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy

Again with the height thing....

740 upvotes
July 11, 2021
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy

Someone in the comments said stories like this are why FDS exists 😂

712 upvotes
January 23, 2022
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy

Why are all female halloween costumes sexual??

691 upvotes
July 22, 2021
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy

Don’t mess with a queen.

657 upvotes
October 2, 2021
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Comments

[–]whiskey_and_oreosFDS Newbie 343 points344 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

Always followed immediately by "I feel like I can tell you anything." 🙄

[–]2340000FDS Apprentice 206 points207 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Then after 4 months he'll confess to raping someone. Or confess to a number of egregious crimes with the hopes that you'll ignore it because you want to get picked😐

Despite abusing half the population, men want validation. That's why they use misogyny to bond with other men.

[–]kinkardineFDS Newbie 16 points17 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Been there

[–]SkiesEclipseFDS Apprentice 7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Oof. Get out of my head!

[–]SleepyLibraryScorpio 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

That’s literally what happened to me. I became my LVX therapist and suddenly keeper of all these horrific secrets. Never again.

[–]Optimal_Grapefruit_5FDS Newbie 16 points17 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Lmfao my ex used that on me and it was very much not the romantic statement he assumed it was

"I feel like I can tell you anything" please don't

"even things I'd never tell my friends" because you see them as people and actually care about what they think of you

"you're the only one who knows my true colors" that's why I can no longer stand you

[–]YellowsunflowerloverFDS Newbie 12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I came to say this!

[–]strawberrykiwibatThrowaway Account 450 points451 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

Yep.

Or on the flip side, "I feel like we know each other so well," says the guy who always wants to talk to you, but only about surface level topics.

[–]Platipus6FDS Apprentice 230 points231 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

We both breathe? Wow we have so much in common!

[–]strawberrykiwibatThrowaway Account 93 points94 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This genuinely made me laugh. 👍

That's what it feels like sometimes though. They'll grasp for straws to force a connection.

[–]Equal-Ear2312FDS Apprentice 112 points113 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Him: I had such a nice date. I'd love to see you again 💗🤪🤡

He dumps all his emotional problems on you and behaves as of he's in therapy. You can't say a word because he talk non stop about how this crazy ex hurt him. 😝

[–]kinkardineFDS Newbie 18 points19 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Oh the memories

[–]LightningxxxFDS Newbie 46 points47 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

‘Trust me, I know you, I understand you, we are so alike in many ways’

-guy with whom I haven’t even gone on a first date with

[–]ArugulaIsAwesomeFDS Apprentice 29 points30 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Oh my God, this reminds me of so many hippie lovey-dovey chakra type guys.

They gush about “energy” and how they can so clearly feel our connection while the entire time in my head I’m literally thinking “this guy is so annoying, I can’t wait to leave.”

[–]LightningxxxFDS Newbie 10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

EXACTLY ITS SO ANNOYING

[–]Equal-Ear2312FDS Apprentice 86 points87 points  (9 children) | Copy Link

Mu heinous ex: you're such a simple and easy going girl! You didn't wear makeup to our first date. You wore shorts and a T-shirt. So you m must be simple easy going and not want things that are expensive in your life.🤡👏🏆🤡🗑️💀

Simple??? What the f is your definition of simple, you scroteus maximus?

[–]bleda_princeznaFDS Newbie 52 points53 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Oh my god! Expecting that the woman will accept low/no effort when she doesn't wear make up is a thing! And it makes no sense.

[–]Equal-Ear2312FDS Apprentice 35 points36 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

yep. I had my first date with him by walking aimlessly through a park then kayaking for dear life - literally! he made threats he wants to dump me in the water... like I should have realized he was a psychopath from the first date.

[–]bleda_princeznaFDS Newbie 20 points21 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Wow, how awful. I went for a hike date during covid (prior FDS, living alone sure is lonely) and even though there were no threats involved, he was a psycho as well. And sadly I went along with it, naivety got the best of me.

Anyone coming up with a date idea that's in the middle of nowhere is a damn psychopath. Or anything that could possibly put you in danger, which kayaking definitely was since it gave him the opportunity to hurt you. What a shit head.

A date should have your best interest in mind, even if you're practically strangers.

[–]Equal-Ear2312FDS Apprentice 5 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

yep. and beware of men who like joking about killing people.

(it's not a joke. it's their psychopathy talking)

[–]bleda_princeznaFDS Newbie 3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I've read this advice on FDS so many times, I just don't understand how common that can even be. Truly horrific.

[–]Equal-Ear2312FDS Apprentice 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It is among men.

Just be quiet and listen to them. If they steer the conversation/ monologue into this direction... Pay attention.

It csn be wars, street violence, anger issues, or just the eay they talk: "I wanted to klLL it/them"

[–]Optimal_Grapefruit_5FDS Newbie 9 points10 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Early in the relationship: "Wow it's great you don't wear makeup and you dress so simple and practical, I like that you're not frilly"

Later on: "So... why don't you wear makeup? Most women do. You think you're better than them?" and/or "I never see you in skirts or dresses or heels, are you insecure? I think you'd look sexy in them. Do you think you don't look good enough to pull them off?"

[–]Equal-Ear2312FDS Apprentice 7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Oh yes oh yes oh yes!!!

I went out with him then because I was bored and said why not. Big mistake do not go on s date with someone you are not in the least attracted to. I was tired and stressed from a previous relationship and my confidence took a blow. Ladies learn from my mistakes and if you're not healed do not enter a new relationship.

Sounds time later he would hunt at the fact that I should get new clothes. And makeup.

Yes!

You were right!

I started realizing he was a wolf in sheep's clothing when he told me condescendingly over the phone " we need to get you some clothes, let's go to the mall next time when we see each other". I told him I do not want it need to go to the mall. Proves he liked them dressed a certain way. Later found out he dated and impregnated and had an abortion with a 16 yo when he was 20. Him and this girl dated for 5 years. He at first witheld these details that could land him in jail from me but told me on our first date he dumped her before their wedding because he thought she cheated on him, even though he had no evidence. The woman studies to become a doctor these days. He vomited this on our first date and I didn't think anything weird of it. I was a stupid pickme back then and I thought that he was just honest and telling me he was not a fan of cheating. (Boy was I wrong! After the break I found out he was cheating. Last month he contacted me out of the blue. Guess what! They broke up and he wanted to use someone. I ignored him)

I literally wanted to smash my skull into a wall - that's how duped I felt later when I realized the magnitude of the details. A story of having sex with a minor, prostitutes, drugs, bribery of police, bribery to get in the army.... Jealousy, obsession, psychopathy and general stupidness.I was more angry at myself then at him. The signs were there but I refused to see.

We need to take responsibility for it shit decisions. Like, of you feel in heat, just buy a dildo. Now I know better.

[–]mrsradish 176 points177 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

*spends an hour non-stop monologuing about his stupid band gig where he hijacked a public setting and played guitar outside

[–]aquietswordFDS Newbie 152 points153 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

*finally runs out of band gig stories and stares blankly at you because he doesn't actually know how to have a conversation. Cries to reddit about women expecting to be entertained by men, treating them like dancing monkeys.

[–]Equal-Ear2312FDS Apprentice 45 points46 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Starts asking you really intimate questions. No, he is basically interrogating you.

There's a vast difference between band guitar gigs and asming you how many times you had sex.

[–]kinkardineFDS Newbie 12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah some prompt right away to intimate questions, even before asking what I do for living, or what are my hobbies

[–]kinkardineFDS Newbie 9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah this is the reason I want to stay away from dating, like they want us to entertain them like marvellous mrs midgel non stop to keep them interested, I want a life partner here, smug! looks like they come for stand up comedian who also fucks, cooks, cleans and breeds babies on side.

[–]MaingurlFDS Apprentice 85 points86 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Him after not letting you talk: "Wow. I feel like you really get me." 🥴

[–]Platipus6FDS Apprentice 149 points150 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

monologues for an hour, thinks it went well and that we have a great connection.

[–]Wild_ArtioFDS Newbie 200 points201 points  (10 children) | Copy Link

🤣 “I’m an open book ask me anything.” Proceeds to stay a closed book and ignore all discussions deeper than “that tree is pretty,” or “that umbrella is cool.”

[–]notallowed2havepizzaFDS Newbie 62 points63 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

What a himbo lol

[–]Wild_ArtioFDS Newbie 31 points32 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Hahahahahhhhh that was my ex alright. He even said he was worried he was one. Lmao.

[–]dak4f2FDS Newbie 24 points25 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Alright what's a himbo? That's a new one to me.

[–]PaunchyPilatesFDS Newbie 26 points27 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

"Bimbo" but a man = him + bimbo

[–]vbych76FDS Newbie 79 points80 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

I don't ask. Sorry, I know it's not recommended, but I really don't ask. There are so many tales and signs you can see even when they just speak, sit, what topics they discuss and what not. I treat them like everything they say is a lie, so why bother asking and be lied to. Also it sweats them additionally, because they don't know how to keep the conversation going naturally and they start saying things, they haven't intended to say, filling the silence.

[–]Wild_ArtioFDS Newbie 67 points68 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

💯 if they say this I also don’t ask. Bc there’s no good conversation that happens when they put the onus on you to start the conversation. Plus when they have to say they’re an open book… it’s like when they say they’re honest or nice guys …they’re not.

[–]BrightIdeaGeneratorFDS Newbie 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Dude, I legit had someone lie about their religion to get into my pants. He told me he was closest to being Wiccan. I'm pagan so that's a big deal that someone have similar spiritual beliefs. Oh 2 months later suddenly he's an atheist.

[–]FlauwoorFDS Apprentice 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Dude's not even a book, just a pamphlet.

[–]Wild_ArtioFDS Newbie 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Super accurate

[–]Novembersonlyone 122 points123 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

“You’re so quiet” after you sat there for 15 minutes giving a brief life story.

[–]stronger_smarter_FDS Newbie 106 points107 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

yOu'RE noT lIkE thE OTheR GirLs

[–]Optimal_Grapefruit_5FDS Newbie 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I hate that for the backhanded way it's used.

  • "I usually paint all women with a misogynistic brush, but idk I guess I kind of perceive you as a person first"
  • "I'm incapable of saying something positive about you without throwing all other women under the bus because I have to keep you females on your toes"
  • "Other girls avoid me - with good reason. But you... you actually let your guard down"

​

It's not the compliment they think it is, especially when you actually don't fit in and have to pay the price for it. Wish I could reply "yeah it's autism" but that doesn't seem beneficial.

[–]karabnpFDS Newbie 91 points92 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

“I don’t know,.... there’s just something about you...” Yet makes NO effort to pinpoint and articulate what that “something” is.🙄🤣🤦🏼‍♀️

[–]NovemberinthechairFDS Disciple 116 points117 points  (9 children) | Copy Link

When in college, I sat in a fucking diner booth and listened to this asshole talk about his feelings about sound. How it travels and how he felt about it. I kept thinking, "Gosh, he hasn't shut up for an hour. He really likes the sound of his own voice. Is he really not going to ask me any questions about myself?"

He was a mediocre artist/musician/actor. As it turned out, he had a true love in London. His plan was to move back there so he could be a kept man or some shit.

[–]Equal-Ear2312FDS Apprentice 28 points29 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Future you: abruptly gets up from the booth. You say you want the Ladies and tell him to wait for you there in the booth. You instead call an uber and go home. Block and delete. 🧖🏾‍♀️ SPA night 😍

[–]NovemberinthechairFDS Disciple 10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Lol. At the time, there was no uber. But this asshole tried to Friend me on Facebook later. I blocked him. I don't have a FB account anymore.

[–]karabnpFDS Newbie 43 points44 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Ugh. I know this sort you’re referring to. Utterly USELESS. Eternally navel gazing.🤦🏼‍♀️

[–]pickmieshaexorcistFDS Disciple 43 points44 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Ugh I’ve had more than one first date where it turns out he has some One True Lost Love he mentions eventually. The first date! More than once! I didn’t understand it then and I still don’t now. Why are you dating?!

[–]pipeuptopipedownFDS Newbie 37 points38 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

This is probably something one needs to screen for at the beginning -- exes, middle school crushes, One That Got Away, etc. I once read a whole book talking about how men (or maybe it was people in general) will use a "dream girl/guy" to keep their real partner at a distance.

[–]SupermarketObvious92FDS Newbie 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah it’s a typical strategy employed by emotionally avoidant people, either conscious or subconscious, in order to avoid forming a real attachment.

[–]Equal-Ear2312FDS Apprentice 23 points24 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Up to a certain age they all have one true love that got away.

The one that got away is actually the sole rain they're there with you, talking their head off.

[–]NovemberinthechairFDS Disciple 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Good fucking question.

[–]kinkardineFDS Newbie 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yup happened twice

[–]strawberryicecream92 73 points74 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Hahahahaha this happened to me many years ago, I was like wait what? He just didn’t bother asking me literally anything and I was just listening

[–]Inside_Inside_8610FDS Newbie 62 points63 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

There's a programme called "Dinner Date" in the UK in which a singleton is shown 5 3-course menus from people hoping to impress, and must pick 3. They then have a home dinner date with each of the 3, picking their favourite one to date again. The 2 losers make do with a ready meal for one.

On this occasion, it was a woman picking her dinner date.

Halfway through each dinner date the both parties are asked how they feel the evening is going.

Man: It's going really well, we're getting on really well together.

Woman: It's awful, he's been talking at me the whole time and hasn't asked me a single question.

Funnily enough, he wasn't chosen.

[–]capresesalad1985FDS Newbie[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Omg I kinda want to watch this show now!

[–]quasarbarFDS Newbie 55 points56 points  (9 children) | Copy Link

I remember pouring my heart out about a trauma I was going through to a guy I was dating. He responded with disinterest and dismissal.

And then had the audacity to ask "so when are you going to open up to me?"

[–]capresesalad1985FDS Newbie[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Literally what made me fall in love with my current bf is he is a GREAT conversationalist. It’s such a gift, he can make anyone feel welcome, knows how to listen and respond. He told me that a girl he dated when he was younger called him out for not knowing when to shut up and he made a point to get better. And I can see the huge difference between him and his brother who just talks over everyone at the table.

The problem is though because he is such a good listener and that’s soooo different than most men, and he works with 95% women, he ‘s ended up with a few girls thinking he’s interested because he sat and listened to them ramble on about whatever is stressing them at the moment. He has to be very very clear he is not on the market, and just trying to be nice.

[–]ccro7FDS Newbie 13 points14 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Wow. He clearly hadn't heard a word you said

[–]quasarbarFDS Newbie 10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Hahaha. Nope.

[–]PeanutButterPigeon85FDS Newbie 10 points11 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Wow, f that guy.

[–]quasarbarFDS Newbie 20 points21 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I'm pleased to say... I didn't. ;)

[–]ArugulaIsAwesomeFDS Apprentice 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

👏

[–]Optimal_Grapefruit_5FDS Newbie 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Translation: "so when are you going to give me ammo I can use against you at some point?"

[–]quasarbarFDS Newbie 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

OMG you're so right. I hadn't thought of it like that before, but yeah.

[–]Big-Paleontologist13FDS Newbie 43 points44 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

MANically talks about himself for 2 hours non stop then proclaims ‘you’re my BEST friend! let’s lock this down!’

[–]MadamePotpourriFDS Newbie 29 points30 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I love reductress!

[–]FeministtiktokFDS Newbie 21 points22 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It does belong here lmao

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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