I'm getting flashbacks to every first date monologue a LVM put me through - Never again!

sassenachpants · 2020-12-13T22:51:43+00:00

I do not miss this shit at all. Especially from a narc going on and on about how special they are. It so fucking draining and they feel like they are entitled to just talk talk talk.

sympathyshot · 2020-12-14T00:35:12+00:00

I want to unpack the first point:

A lot of them tend to [overestimate] the value and/or originality of their insights

I think this may contribute to the gender pay gap and why professions start to see diminished wages once women join the field.

For example, as a person in STEM I see guys being like "I know how to <data science buzzwords>" and they think they're such hot shit. Dude, it's just linear regression. Stop trying to pump your ego.

I've been playing piano for two decades, and this dude who play piano for six years tries to act superior with his piano playing. "My pieces were so advanced." Dude, stop telling me that your pieces are harder than mine. I played that in fifth grade.

Sometimes I wonder if woman should also act like hot shit, especially in STEM. Would that help with the wage gap? Or should we just take men down a peg?

Equipoisonous · 2020-12-14T00:26:01+00:00

I have a master of public health degree. I still remember this date I went on where the guy said he'd love to hear my thoughts on health policy and then proceeded to tell me all of his thoughts on health policy without letting me get a word in. He then had the nerve to say at the end of the date that he was having trouble reading me because "you're so quiet."

chatrebelle · 2020-12-13T22:37:28+00:00

So true! And not only when dating. When I spend an afternoon with my dad and brother in laws I am drained !

luna_prismatic · 2020-12-14T03:59:13+00:00

And then they have the audacity to project and complain that it’s women who talk nonstop. There’s been numerous peer reviewed studies that show men underestimate the amount of time they spent talking during a conversation with a woman, while grossly overestimating the time she spent talking. “Interestingly” enough, they didn’t display this bias when talking to another man. So basically, a guy can gab on and on about the pithy ego accomplishments colonizing his brain for the majority of a conversation, and the woman tries to get in a few words and he ends up labeling her as a chatterbox. It drives me insane. The amount of times I’ve been told by men “you talk too much” because I don’t let them steamroll the conversation. Also, it’s unrelated, but the source of anger is the same — I hate how men manage to treat you shitty, then project it onto you and play victim to what they’re actually doing, but will never take accountability for. I had an ex who was not only hot and cold with his “love” but he was the most angry, abusive mean pos I’ve ever met. Say the wrong word and he’d scream at you for literal hours. When I started trying to hold him accountable, and point out what he was doing was wrong, he had the audacity to call me abusive, and say that he was afraid of me, because he always had to walk on eggshells around me because of my moods. Those “eggshells” were my tears, when he screamed at me for hours lol. I bet that waste of life also overestimated the amount of time I spent talking in our conversations. Because usually he would scream for hours lol.

Austenma · 2020-12-14T00:11:28+00:00

And why do these LVMs repeat their stories so much?? It's so boring to listen to the same stories over and over again, about people you've never met!

Cool-Fill9819 · 2020-12-13T23:07:04+00:00

LOL, when a man talks, talks, and talks. It's an easy NO for me. Blabbermouths are a huge turn-off in my book. OUFFF.

redwineandsolitude · 2020-12-13T23:27:13+00:00

We all know that 50/50 usually ain’t it but the CONVERSATION should be 50/50. If he goes on for 3 minutes about his pets, siblings, educational background, favorite shows, he should be asking you to reciprocate and listen to you for just as long.

WildTenderness · 2020-12-13T23:52:43+00:00

I've starting posting polls on my IG story recently that incite critical thinking... And I cannot tell you how many men keep hopping in my DMs to tell me their super insightful and amazing opinions and to bug me into chatting with them. I've only had one women message me her thoughts and the convo was over in 3 minutes 😞

moonartemis1989 · 2020-12-13T23:37:06+00:00

[deleted]

atuan · 2020-12-14T00:02:04+00:00

And verbal signals to shut the fuck up get you labeled as a mega bitch.

blindinghappiness · 2020-12-14T03:51:44+00:00

It’s insane how they all think that they are special and smarter than everyone else. They genuinely believe it. Which puts them firmly in the camp of “not as smart as they think they are”

fdsonlynoscrubs · 2020-12-14T06:16:39+00:00

Lol reminds me of a 2 hour phone call with a dude who asked me like zero questions about myself and just kept yapping and yapping and yapping all about his own life. I should have ended it sooner, but like a lot of us I’ve been conditioned to be “polite.” I’m growing out of it, lol. I blocked him right after that call and I think he tried messaging me from a few other apps and it was just a big ol block fest. No thanks!!!!

-pop-fizz-clink · 2020-12-14T01:23:43+00:00

I see you've met my 24 year old male coworker who worked with a lawyer for two years and this now makes him one. This week he told me that I am the most protected person under the Canadian charter of rights and freedoms. I have hospital bracelets that suggest otherwise. Either he's a sick f*ck or he hates women, or both. Later on that day he topped it off with telling me I look exhausted. (I'm so out of his league on a bad day, it's not even funny, and I'm 8 years older than him.)

Chillody · 2020-12-14T00:28:18+00:00

Bruh. If this ain't the truth... and I'd literally put my earphone back in and they'd still be going like they're an Instagram influencer. And they love to repeat themselves, oh my g--

Pasdepromesses · 2020-12-14T11:25:30+00:00

My ex bf/rebound really thought he was my mentor or something and could 'teach' me a lot of stuff. Mind you, he only had a Vocational School degree (to become a personal trainer in the gym), but was really into coaching and self improvement. He would go on and on about very basic shit that anyone with a tiny bit of EQ would understand, but I let him believe he could 'mentor' me in that area (idk why since I am a perfectly capable women who went to university, still a pick me I guess). Meanwhile, I'd edit and sometimes wrote everything for his start-up.

At one point he was really bragging about improving and coaching me and his own coach asked him if he could give examples. The only thing he could come up with was that he showed me a better spot to put my clothes drying rack.

ughthanksbutno · 2020-12-14T01:57:20+00:00

my sister’s bf loves to prattle on as though he’s some sort of scholar on every subject and you can feel the enthusiasm and interest drain from the room as women side eye each other. they completely ignore non-verbal cues to stfu bc why wouldn’t everyone want to listen to what they have to say??

SoybeanApocalypse · 2020-12-14T03:37:25+00:00

I wish this wasn't true but my dad will literally start talking when I'm in the middle of a sentence and just...ramble. He can be smart but a lot of what he says is vague-isms that don't really say much of anything. I've been visibly disappointed when he's done this but he just. doesn't. care. It makes me very sad honestly. Why can't they just give a fuck about someone else's point?

BananaSlugGhost · 2020-12-14T02:20:13+00:00

And they make zero effort to develop original topics OR ask you about yourself AND they think complaining is communication that deserves endless sympathy and validation.

CatSweets · 2020-12-14T03:15:14+00:00

That reminds me of a tweet I made after I watched that Netflix movie about the trial of the chicago seven - "that movie is so good it doesn't even seem like it's 2 hours of men talking nonstop" hahahah

I usually hate listen to men's monologues. I tune out after some minutes, it's stressful.

pozzalovah · 2020-12-14T07:29:47+00:00

I just stare at them to examine how clueless they are tbh.

GoldandGlowing · 2020-12-14T01:46:30+00:00

This is literally my friend’s bf talking about the meaning of The Great Gatsby on discord like we all haven’t read that shit in school 🤬

dzgata · 2020-12-14T01:01:40+00:00

omg thank you to this queen for articulating this perfectly

2020-12-14T03:24:03+00:00

They really do.

Title	I'm getting flashbacks to every first date monologue a LVM put me through - Never again!
Author	Myplummms
Upvotes	1340
Comments	62
Date	December 13, 2020 10:02 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/kcjv2v/im_getting_flashbacks_to_every_first_date/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/im-getting-flashbacks-to-every-first-date.731390 https://theredarchive.com/post/731390

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