Keep re-reading this until it sinks in.

riricide · 2020-07-28T15:00:13+00:00

Yep, yesterday I basically said "goodbye and good luck" to someone who basically didn't follow through on a phone call they promised and it rubbed me the wrong way. They were overall ok, and their response was "Glad you met someone new, take care". I wanted to respond back with "that's not what happened, we are not compatible because XYZ" but then I didn't. It's really not helpful and just prolongs an awkward interaction.

MakeURegret · 2020-07-28T10:44:55+00:00

If he wanted to he would. One of the hardest pieces of advice for me to take from this sub. Because I didn’t want to believe it so badly.

2020-07-28T15:23:09+00:00

You only have so many years on this earth, don’t waste a single second explaining your emotions. Find someone who you don’t need to translate every interaction to communicate with.

yokusugosu · 2020-07-28T16:04:29+00:00

I realised this when all I got was an ’ok’ or ’that’s nice’. Well damn, I am not doing that ever again. Infatuation is a deception. The words you type take up your time so never forget this. There’s beauty in being a proud woman.

royaldetour · 2020-07-28T11:42:22+00:00

It's a harsh truth but it needs to be known.

succ_it_up · 2020-07-28T16:45:02+00:00

I recently told someone “I think we should stop seeing each other” and he texted back VERY quickly. I was of course irritated because, thanks for wasting my summer bud. But my friends are saying “you need to tell him why you’re mad” sis NO, there’s literally no reason. He obviously does not care, so why should I? He has the personality of a stale piece of white bread and I’m great, so why should I be bothered? Lol boy byyyyye

avakadava · 2020-07-28T15:01:23+00:00

And the more you explain, the more they probably get an ego boost out of how much you care

Ms_Tilly · 2020-07-28T16:37:02+00:00

Honestly it feels so good to just never reply and block everywhere.

fdsonlynoscrubs · 2020-07-28T16:54:15+00:00

That look... when I’ve mustered all my courage, dug deep, identified my most important needs and deepest emotions, written it all out dozens of times, found the perfect moment to tell the dude and then.... nothing. Dead eye stare back at me. Absolutely nothing going on behind them. Not even an attempt to understand.

Never again. ✌️

sunset_sunshine30 · 2020-07-28T16:33:54+00:00

If a dude is not interested I just reply with Ok. Used to write out long, lengthy paragraphs until I realised they don't give a toss. So why give them an ego boost?

RedeRules770 · 2020-07-28T18:10:21+00:00

My best friend hasn't learned this yet. Every single time she finds a dude he's a LVM who doesn't give half a shit. it's like she likes doing it.

Last night she was venting about how the newest one doesn't hardly ever text her back all day, calls her at night and acts all sleepy and doesn't respond to her talking about her day except to be all "mmmmmmm.. sorry babe... So tired..." And then after he says he's gonna go to bed he's active on Facebook for the next 1-2 hours.

I asked her "so what message does that send to you?" And she said "that he doesn't care"

There it is! He doesn't! He won't care after your long message! "But I need him to know how I feel" ugh!

SayNad · 2020-07-28T21:12:33+00:00

The sure fire way to get a man to lose his mind is by ghosting him and going ice cold - men are so used to women being emotional, angry, begging, nagging and the likes, they have learned since childhood to tune it out and not take the women seriously - because after all is said and done, those nagging women will still pay attention to them.

But a woman who is ice cold and treat the man like he isn't important? That will bruise his ego so bad he will lose his mind.

bear_sees_the_car · 2020-07-28T18:05:38+00:00

[removed]

sugaredberry · 2020-07-28T18:50:48+00:00

I never send paragraphs. Anyone who treats you badly isn’t going to care and they call expressing yourself “crazy”.

GAaliyah12 · 2020-07-28T12:57:55+00:00

I'm sorry but am I the only one who has never sent long paragraphs to men? I feel like its such a waste of time. I like to look men in the face when I talk about something that brothers me so I can see if he's taking me seriously.

SpentHis_MilfMoney · 2020-07-28T18:18:59+00:00

Letting go when it is time is always the best thing to do.

TryingToSeekHelp · 2020-07-28T14:09:54+00:00

Ain't that the truth?

apple_cores · 2020-07-28T19:37:22+00:00

Agreed. However, sometimes I prefer texting for 2 reasons: so I can think about what I want to say. Sometimes in person when tension or pressure is high I forget everything I want to say or get distracted by questions, etc. Second, having something in writing let’s me and/or the other person reflect over what has been said. Also receipts lol

shakethat_milkshake · 2020-07-28T21:05:55+00:00

And no back and forth fighting over texts! Block, block, block to conserve your energy and happiness.

ladyreyreigns · 2020-07-28T15:49:45+00:00

Actually using this strategy right now, but with my (ex) boss. He’s trying to scaremonger me into staying (I was a teacher) and trying to rile me up so I’ll be unprofessional. I’m ignoring his rude emails. There’s no reason I need to explain myself and my choices to him. I’m learning that FDS policies apply to people everywhere in life, not just in dating.

misoup9 · 2020-07-28T18:51:55+00:00

Yup. Never doing that ever again. I’ll just opt for block and delete to avoid 🚩🚩🚩

sweet_b9 · 2020-07-28T21:32:30+00:00

“The Principle of Least Interest is the idea in sociology that the person or group that has the least amount of interest in continuing a relationship has the most power over it.”

From Wiki

RiteWriter · 2020-07-29T02:42:28+00:00

I used to do this too. It would get me even more riled up and my blood pressure would be through the roof as I typed it out and exhausted myself. Now when I’m angry I keep that shit to myself. I give men nothing :) the less emotion you give them, the more shocked they are especially if it’s something shitty they’ve done.

No reaction, no emotion and 0 fucks. Once you fuck up badly, you’re dead to me. You’re not getting jack from me. Knowing you don’t care, drives them crazy.

LCM75360 · 2020-07-28T16:24:19+00:00

Ah, the painful truth. Important tho.

artemisawika · 2020-07-28T17:01:11+00:00

This has been one of my greatest realizations. I remember writing long paragraphs and then getting maximum a 3 word reply hours later of my message being read.

What also bothered me is that I felt I was talking to a wall, never took my goodbyes seriously, in fact, one of the last messages was “you always say the same things” so I simply stopped. The ex said something like “good night, kisses, talk to you tomorrow” but little did ex know that was never going to happen again.

Goosehasthreelegs · 2020-07-28T23:06:32+00:00

Heeeey! I needed this today after my brother started to ignore me over reasons that are unknown and multiple attempts to reach out OVERLY kindly, considering the lack of communication over why. Thanks for the reminder.

sagenjax · 2020-07-28T18:34:10+00:00

Truuu 2chainz voice

side note: why can’t we add gifs to our comments?

truuu

euphemiarose · 2020-07-28T16:44:02+00:00

Odd thing is that this also applies to life in general. There are even some female friends who can’t and won’t get shit no matter how hard you try to make them understand (that’s been my lesson recently). Obviously no one will completely understand you or be 100% on the same wavelength as you, that’s a dumb myth society accidentally teaches us. But the people who are your people — romantic or otherwise — they’re at least willing to attempt to understand. You find them, you’ve found gold.

_DeeplySuperficial · 2020-07-28T17:38:29+00:00

This group feels like therapy, in the best way possible. Never again!

Thank you for the sisterhood.

SaraBear250 · 2020-07-28T20:13:30+00:00

I’d like to add that it’s also important to know when to take your guard down. Sometimes we get so hardened trying to protect ourselves that when a quality guy comes around, we fail to be vulnerable and miss out on really connecting.

Incredible_Alligator · 2020-07-28T21:41:01+00:00

I needed this printed out poster sized on my wall for the last LVM. Never again.

WhatTheBready · 2020-07-28T11:48:37+00:00

Applies to everyone.

saharla_da_Queen · 2020-07-28T18:17:51+00:00

I learned that hard way...😔

thiswayisbutter · 2020-07-28T18:24:38+00:00

shyslice · 2020-07-28T19:44:06+00:00

put this into practice the other day, it was much easier and less painful than pouring my heart out only to get nothing in return. cut and dried, move on.

strawbri_ · 2020-07-28T19:54:04+00:00

learning when to shut up and when to talk is a big part of being an adult

2020-07-28T22:02:28+00:00

Allaboutb1 · 2020-07-28T22:10:46+00:00

Yep.

roverlover1111 · 2020-07-29T04:04:16+00:00

This is hard for me because I feel like my ex walked away after gas lighting me and being an overall terrible boyfriend and I didn't tell him because a lot of the shit he did, I didn't realize until after we broke up (thanks to therapist). It's been 3 months now and I'm still mad and trying to move past it without saying anything.

Title	Keep re-reading this until it sinks in.
Author	farevvell
Upvotes	2413
Comments	99
Date	July 28, 2020 10:43 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/hzcg6n/keep_rereading_this_until_it_sinks_in/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/keep-re-reading-this-until-it-sinks-in.718611 https://theredarchive.com/post/718611

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