My aunt’s husband passed away a month ago. It was a sudden, tragic death- he died when alone at work- heart attack- and was discovered a few hours later by a business partner who became very concerned when he wasn’t picking up his calls for an important meeting that day. He was only in his 50’s.

He was a HVM- spoiled my aunt, so she never had to work after getting married. Ran a successful business, which meant they lived in a fancy house in a high-income area. Even after spending hours and hours working, he’d buy my aunt gifts, food…do the chores…HVM to the core, unlike my own lazy, whiny father.

Now that he is gone, my devastated aunt is alone. She has no friends as her husband did everything for her, so she felt no need to socialise at all. She obviously won’t be able to work with a 20+ year gap in her resume and no marketable skills. She knows nothing about finances, investing etc.

Now, she is lucky in a way as her HVM husband had a lot of money and a big house. Many widows don’t have that to fall back onto. Even so, she is now suddenly alone, confused and picking up the pieces. Desperately trying to figure out how the world works.

Although I feel terrible for her grief, I’m kind of baffled that she didn’t spend some of her endless leisure time when her husband was alive learning about finances. Investing. Studying. Learning a skill. Working at least part time. Networking with powerful people. Instead, she lazed about in her riches the last few decades, not a care in the world.

So ladies, please let my aunt’s story be a lesson. Please have your own life, skills, money, social circle EVEN if you are lucky to have a HVM by your side. I don’t understand why so many women decide to lazily coast about in life just because someone is providing for them. When it ends, they are all alone.