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pipapopupon
[–]riseaboveagainFDS Apprentice253 points254 points255 points 6 years ago (19 children) | Copy Link
She needs to get used to it and cut her friendly chats and interaction with the men in her workplace down to a strictly professional level. Keep them at arms length. Sadly, this kind of bs with men happens all the time
Source: my own long career
[–]surviveIIthriveFDS Apprentice101 points102 points103 points 6 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link
Yep!! All interaction with men in the workplace needs to be polite and professional only! Strictly work related and polite small talk and that’s it! Many are actively trying to sabotage you and don’t see you as anything more than a mommy/waitress. This is the sad reality of workplaces for women. Not trying to depress anyone but honestly women need to be careful
[–]hoIds_up_sporkFDS Disciple86 points87 points88 points 6 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link
44 year old men don't want to be friends with 22 year old women.
[–]EclecticBarbarellaFDS Newbie66 points67 points68 points 6 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
At that age, my thought process would have been “hes 20 years older than me, there’s no way he’s interested in anything more than friendship”. I learned real quick. I don’t get why they feel the need to bring it up either, like are we supposed to just ignore the creepy age gap because TheY LiKE uS and sleep with them? If you’re going to get a creepy, inappropriate “crush” on a 22 year old girl, KEEP YOUR SILENCE AND KEEP YOUR DISTANCE, and gtfover it 🤢🤮
[–]TERFSareawesomeFDS Apprentice32 points33 points34 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Well said. I honestly feel like many of them know there's no chance and it's not reciprocated, but they want to force the girl to see them in a sexual light. Kind of like how a subway flasher doesnt expect the woman to be turned on by his dick, he just wants her to be forced to SEE IT and acknowledge his sexuality. It's the same thing. I think these men spend time with attractive women at work and, in their irrational male way, even though they know they're way older and probably deeply unattractive, they feel robbed of having her reciprocate and become obsessed with having her view them the same way. It's same irrational, crazy male bullshit they're always doing, thinking with their penises ONLY
[–]EclecticBarbarellaFDS Newbie22 points23 points24 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Exactly! Like they need us to know that we’re being sexualized by them or they can’t enjoy it properly. Plus I think Hollywood has done a great job making movies that tell them that the girl is into them, because they’re the awkward, nerdy, older male lead who gets Scarlett Johansson in the end as a reward. Rewatching a lot of “classics” with my views now, a lot of them push this ridiculous narrative and I seriously think it’s fucking with how guys process human interaction.
[–][deleted] 14 points15 points16 points 6 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
It took me until I was 25 YEARS OLD to realize this. These days I'm a cool polite professional. The more they flirt, the cooler I am.
also one time I was upset and confused before I found out about the rules or found out about fds. because a guy who I had gone on one date with was absolutely blowing up my phone after I told him I didn't want to see him again politely.he kept talking about all the chemistry he felt even though I felt absolutely zero which is why I didn't want to go out with him again (And he looked like my sister, but obviously my needs Feelings and desires are invalid /s). somebody commented on my Reddit post because I was too naive to just block him and ignore him. Actually I had blocked him but he was still leaving voicemails. Anyway, they said that he feels the chemistry because he wants the chemistry to be there. It was an aha moment. I also learned this lesson regarding love. Just because I feel for a guy and just because I love him does not mean he loves me, the love is not an object between us, it's just coming from within me. I guess they haven't learned that about the chemistry thing. They think it's something between you, when it's just coming from them(Attraction, chemistry)
[–]ctrlcutieFDS Newbie21 points22 points23 points 6 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
but she's so mature for her age and an old soul~
[–]hoIds_up_sporkFDS Disciple27 points28 points29 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
it's so pathetic 40 year old men pretend to be so enthralled and impressed with everything i say.
[–]EclecticBarbarellaFDS Newbie11 points12 points13 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
And he’s “young at heart, and people tell him he looks ten years younger all the time!” 🙄
[–][deleted] 5 points6 points7 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
aaieeeeeee
[–]surviveIIthriveFDS Apprentice16 points17 points18 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
And they sure as shit are not trying to mentor you! That doesn’t exist. Young women coming into the workplace should mainly focus on finding other women mentors. Your male bosses and colleagues do not want to help you succeed and thrive! They do not care and will actively try to take advantage and belittle you. Even female colleagues and bosses sometimes do not want to help you. The workplace is competitive. Be very wary of men!
[–]hugship23 points24 points25 points 6 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
I used to be involved in social stuff at work all the time! Some of my current best friends are coworkers (male and female) that I bonded with in my first job out of college. I thought that this is how it was at all workplaces.
I was lucky enough that the job that followed was filled with good people, so no funny business and plenty of genuine friendships came out of there too. (In fact, a lot of the guys at that job in particular were happily married HVMs who were all very respectful to everyone around them.)
Then I got my current job. I went about things the same way, letting friendships form naturally because I'd had such good luck with that previously. Unfortunately, one male coworker ruined all that for me with aggressive text messages after he realized nothing was going to happen between us. He even went so far as to go to bars he knew I liked to try and convince me to talk. (The security staff made sure that I didn't have to talk to him, thankfully.)
After that, I'd been totally soured on developing workplace friendships with males. I do the bare minimum to be polite and cordial in the office, but I do my best to avoid non-mandatory social work events. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ It's too bad, I genuinely enjoyed having real office friendships, but it's just not worth the risk these days.
[–]NinauposkitzipxpePickmeisha™️7 points8 points9 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Did you get him fired? Or at least go to HR? Burn him to the ground.
[–]hugship10 points11 points12 points 6 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
Much like others in this thread have said, I made the choice not to get him fired because this is a job and environment that I otherwise enjoy. I didn’t want to become labeled by whoever would label someone for taking action against a perp, and then have it tarnish or cut the rest of my time at this company short.
What I did do was I discussed it with my boss (whom I trust) in writing so that there was a paper trail in case I did decide to pursue it, or if someone who was reporting this guy for something in the future needed support in the form of another employee coming forward with parallel documented experiences. I made it clear to my boss that I wanted record of our conversation about it, but I did not want him (my boss) to pursue any action on my behalf unless I explicitly told him otherwise in the future. My boss agreed to do (or not do) whatever I was most comfortable with.
[–]burnerbabeePickmeisha™️0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Well done I'd say.
[–][deleted] 41 points42 points43 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I’ve learned to keep men at arm’s length in my professional and personal life because they always end up wanting to sleep with me. For me, there is no such thing as just meeting male friends on a night out and going to get lunch or a drink platonically. They always want more. I’ll stick with my girlfriends for now.
[–]kinnnionFDS Disciple182 points183 points184 points 6 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link
Why is it so impossible for men to platonic relationships with women. I have tried having male friends and they never work out, they start liking me and then I have to drop them
[–]RpwintrainingFDS Newbie44 points45 points46 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Because for men....
Girl nice to me= wants to fuck me
[–]abstractsadgurlFDS Newbie16 points17 points18 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
The realist shit tbh. Then when you dont reciprocate you're the bad guy and it gets messy. Basically i lose a friendship meanwhile they were looking for ways to get inside my pants
[–]pipapopuponFDS Newbie[S] 60 points61 points62 points 6 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
I do have male friends from high school and I don't think anything would ever happen with them. But besides them, all the male friends I tried having since university had inappropriate behiavour/tried to hit on me.
[–]classylassy28FDS Newbie64 points65 points66 points 6 years ago* (3 children) | Copy Link
Same experience here. All my male friends from school and childhood are platonic awesome dudes.
Literally almost all others really just wanted one thing. Even making friends with my husband's friends...his BEST FRIEND tried to kiss me and confessed his love one random night.... I told hubby right away. Well there went an 18 years friendship cause of his stupid dick/head.
[–]Davina33FDS Newbie17 points18 points19 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
My male friends are gay. I've only had a couple of heterosexual male friends who haven't tried it on with me.
[–]classylassy28FDS Newbie9 points10 points11 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I had two gay friends, one night we all got drunk and they said some really messed up stuff about my husband. Perverted, disrespectful and I had to cut ties. Sucks they were awesome until that.
[–]Davina33FDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Oh no! That's awful! You didn't have much choice.
[–]PinkCongo7 points8 points9 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
There may be a few guys with whom it could be strictly platonic and friendly, but I've been bit in the ass enough times. It's honestly not worth it in my opinion.
[–][deleted] 19 points20 points21 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I have one male friend that I am very close to. Any other man I have tried to be friends with took the attention the wrong way, or pretended to just be platonic until I had a few drinks.
[–][deleted] 140 points141 points142 points 6 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link
This really breaks my heart. All she wanted was a mentor at her job and now she has to deal with someone's hangups and perversion. And yes, being attracted to someone who is young enough to be your child and who views you as a parental figure is perverted.
[–]BovvsetteFDS Disciple98 points99 points100 points 6 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
All that incest and age gap porn really did a number on their already perverted brain. They actually believe that they are unquestionably desirable for someone, who's younger by a generation or two. No, that is so creepy.
[–]siberiansummerFDS Disciple44 points45 points46 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Look at manosphere. All they do is scream that they age like fine wine lol. And that they will be dating 20 yo in their 40-50s because clearly they just get better and better with age 🤦♀️ Delusion runs deep
[–][deleted] 48 points49 points50 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I get appreciating someone’s beauty, but actively thinking there is a chance? Come on.
[+][deleted] 6 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
[deleted]
[–]Davina33FDS Newbie30 points31 points32 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
The incel lurkers will not like this post as they are convinced they get better in their 40s and can bag a 20 year old virgin!
[–]Davina33FDS Newbie29 points30 points31 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This happened to me in my last job. This guy in his 50s is very jovial and most of us would chat to him. He's 6ft tall and huge! He is married and after he left for another job he asked me if I wanted an affair? I was horrified. He bought me all this expensive make up and perfume too for my birthday. I was 29 at the time. I feel so sorry for his wife.
[–]GerealtorFDS Newbie19 points20 points21 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Had a guy more than forty years older than me come up and hit on me hard at work recently. All I could think was that this guy must be seriously insane. To actually get to that age and not have realised that going up to someone young enough to be your grandchild and hitting on them isn't normal just... Baffles me.
[–]Davina33FDS Newbie7 points8 points9 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
They can't be right in the head. At 34 I couldn't imagine finding a 20 year old man attractive. It feels icky but I agree porn is probably behind a lot of it. They can't seem to differentiate between fantasy and reality.
[–]Kekekeke7777FDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
They realize it. They like the power imbalance. They like the ego boost because only young women are considered valuable in society. Women their age are already too old in their heads. They know they can’t fuck them over as easily.
[–]CuriousCatNYC777Ruthless Strategist60 points61 points62 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
This happened to me.
Went on a trip with my mom, and the resorts owner (who was her age) offered to take us on a tour. We went all together and had a blast. He went above and beyond to show us a good time, and even upgraded our room when we got back.
He asked for her number so she gave it.. later, he texted her asking about her daughter (me, 30 years younger than him), saying he never felt like this before and wanted to date me.
She was so shocked, she blocked him. Men are brazen and audacious.
[–][deleted] 16 points17 points18 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
WHAT THE FUCK. Hahhahshahsss 😂😭
[–]SarcasmSlideFDS Disciple55 points56 points57 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I do not want to go to HR about it...and he does have kids to support.
🙄 Then that’s all the more reason he shouldn’t be hitting on a co-worker young enough to be his daughter.
[–][deleted] 27 points28 points29 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Amazing how women care more about a creepy man's ability to support his family than he does!
In reality, he probably won't get fired, and if he does, he'll just use the old boys' network to get a new job before the ink is dry on his severance agreement. It's simply not as hard for men like that to stay well employed unless they piss someone off in a high place.
[–][deleted] 8 points9 points10 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Exactly, f him. He gets what he deserves. His wife should know.
[–][deleted] 70 points71 points72 points 6 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
He’s literally twice her age. Barf. Why do men think this is okay?
[–]BovvsetteFDS Disciple69 points70 points71 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Conditioned by age gap porn, millionaires with young models transactional relationships in the media, and circlejerking each other with: ” mEn aGe liKe fiNe WiNe”. I never heard any woman say that. That they act forever young as in being reckless, perverted and immature when they're old, yeah sure. But barely anyone believes that decades of years don't touch men's looks, stamina, sperm quality and overall reproductive value.
[–]hoIds_up_sporkFDS Disciple22 points23 points24 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Exactly! Men always put themselves and their dicks over women and their comfort. The fact that they've had multiple conversations about how gross age gaps should have been a huge clue that OP would never date a man old enough to be her dad. Like even if he didnt mean to start liking her, why admit it when he knows she's disgusted about older men dating young women? It's because he was banking on the 0.1% chance that she says yes. Never mind that none of their history would indicate that she's into him over ever would be, he can't stand the minute possibility that she might want his dick. Just because you have feelings for someone doesn't mean you have to tell them.
[–]siberiansummerFDS Disciple19 points20 points21 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yup. Men cannot have friendly relationships with women. They always view us as an opportunity to fuck. Even if we are slightly friendly to them they see it as if we are interested in sex
[–]SslimReaperrFDS Newbie40 points41 points42 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Similar thing happened to me. I was 18 and finishing up high school, I worked at an entry level job and two of the GROWN ASS male co-workers would constantly hit on me. Both 35+ and one was even married. Disgusting
[–]blonde-throwawayFDS Newbie23 points24 points25 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I had the same thing. Culminated in the manager (who had a pregnant wife) shutting me in the office, trying to pull me to sit on his lap and telling me he couldn't resist me. My teenage brain rationalised his behaviour in so many ways but there is simply no explanation. Urgh.
[–]99powerFDS Newbie6 points7 points8 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
😰 Did you get fired after the fact? I’m so so sorry that happened to you. Just hearing it makes me vomit.
[–]JOEYMAMI2015FDS Newbie48 points49 points50 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Ugh this is why I am a bitch to men now...........You be nice to them, and they'll immediately try to get inside your pants ugh ugh ugh
[–]Ms_TillyRuthless Strategist45 points46 points47 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I'm late 30s and have had several men in their mid 50s to early 60s start showing interest in me after establishing a friendship. It's gross. It bothers me that so many men don't see it as sick.
[–]Kekekeke7777FDS Newbie5 points6 points7 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I’m 34 and have had men in their late 70’s (!) do this! At a support group for a medical condition. I was so thrilled to meet others with this same condition as it’s rare. Even one of their wives who was there for moral support acted like I was trying to steal her husband by sitting next to him asking him medical questions. That tells me he probably does this a lot. But like, c’mon!
[–]Davina33FDS Newbie1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
That reminds of a man that lives near me. He is an ex navy teacher. I started doing my teaching qualifications when I was 28 and he offered to help me. It was all a ruse to hit on me. I used to see him when he was holding hands with his wife. He would say hello and the poor woman would give me such evil looks and scoff at me. I realise he probably did this to lots of women. He was 55!
[–]gigi_chiFDS Newbie44 points45 points46 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Men are incapable of having platonic friendships with women they are attracted to. I had a former boss do the same shit to me and it made me feel so violated to know that my “ work dad” who always “looked out for me” was secretly dating his subordinates and plotting on each of us. I personally don’t have any male friends because this is how they all end up!
[–]_AnnairdA_FDS Newbie14 points15 points16 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I don't think men are able to have platonic relationships with women period whether the women is attractive or not. I think a lot of men just go after any woman they see as an potential target.
[–]prettyexcitingnewsFDS Disciple31 points32 points33 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Ugh, there’s this married dude at my work who tried to make a move on me. All I did was I just treat him nicely like I do to anybody else at work. I just can’t believe their audacity. Ew.
[–]ToomanyprollemsFDS Newbie28 points29 points30 points 6 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
The part where she said that he made it sound like it was "our problem" was so familiar to me! When I was in my early 20s I used to hang out with this homeless old guy. (I know, I know my daddy issues were that bad.) I used to chat with him on my way home after work. He was super fucking old and homeless so I didn't think anything of it. I gave him my email because he wanted to send me some articles and after a few weeks he sent me a long email talking about how he's in love with me and what are we gonna do. I was like "what do you mean what are we gonna do? I have no- nothing to say to you about that and no feelings for you like that whatsoever and it's your problem and I'm not going to do anything about that."
But he really thought it was my problem. Psssssh. He was like 48. Despite my clueless youth I am proud of myself that I was not even the least bit nice about it. In those days I used to really coddle men's feelings but this guy was old and disgusting and i just couldn't even.
[–]SoulsaltsFDS Apprentice16 points17 points18 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Oh bleh, you just brought up memories of my own homeless guy situation. He used to come into the cafe/bookstore where I worked to show us his art (which was very good), but took to following me on my lunch breaks and always asking if I wanted to hold hands or borrow his coat. He was more than twice my age and homeless, but he really seemed to think he had a chance, just because I had tried to be kind.
[–]Kekekeke7777FDS Newbie6 points7 points8 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I think young women are easy targets for these men. I’ve known many women to say, “he’s sweet, harmless, etc. I’m just helping him out.” NOPE he’s just as dangerous as any other guy.
Yes. Men can smell vulnerability a mile away. They use inexperience against young women.
[–]rinabeanFDS Disciple31 points32 points33 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
That "our problem" stuff sounds like nasty manipulation. If he used language like that, I think it's called "forced teaming". And in any case, it sounds like he's constructed this whole "it takes two to tango" idea of what happened, when actually the two of them said this kind of thing was disgusting, and then he decided to try to do it anyway...
[–]ctrlcutieFDS Newbie11 points12 points13 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
men like this are usually the rejects of their age group
[–]DumbBlondeButNaturalFDS Newbie11 points12 points13 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
That reminds me about a really creepy and sad reality check i had at 18 yo at my job.I worked in a convenience store and was badly mistreated there. A big, way older guy noticed that i was really sad all the time, had an "warm uncle" vibe around him. He often cheered me up, bought snacks for me and i was happy that there was a trustworthy and nice adult around me. He often told me about his family and his daughters (I reminded him of them, the same age etc.). I trusted him a lot and even broke down crying in front of him after mistreatment in my workplace (I don't cry in front of anyone ever). He huged me after and so on.Then one day he came with a woman his age into the store and ignored me all the time (didn't say hello or bye) which confused me a lot. He came back the same day and ASKED ME OUT.My heart and innocence was broken that day. I genuinely thought that he was the only old guy that didn't flirt with me, the only familly man that jus felt bad for a kid. I still get sad about this.
[–]delicateearthbabeFDS Newbie47 points48 points49 points 6 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
OP should really go to HR about this.
[–]riseaboveagainFDS Apprentice71 points72 points73 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Disagree. This sort of thing will happen to her over and over during the course of her career. Her best choice is to stop interacting with male coworkers in a friendly manner, and keep it strictly professional.
HR does not want to hear your interpersonal problems,. Their mission is to protect the company. You WILL be labeled as a problem employee. I’ve seen this from both sides, as the women who was approached on multiple occasions, and as a manager.
Until it becomes direct harassment that impacts her daily work, AND it can be proven, get used to dealing with men and not going to HR. It’s part of being a professional woman working with men. YES it sucks, but it’s unfortunately part of life.
[–]ThrowawayPhotoshop11FDS Newbie0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
What if u deal with a coworker who did an unconsentual massages your shoulders and whistles at you? Should you say something then?
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
She should try to avoid being alone with him if possible— that’s what I’d try to do.
[+][deleted] 6 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
[removed]
[–]riseaboveagainFDS Apprentice15 points16 points17 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Oh, it’s HIGHLY inappropriate, and if that man is in his 40s, he knows it. Workplace romance is always a no-no.
It’s awful, but I’d like to suggest never wearing short skirts or low cut or tight tops to work, unless you’re in a career that requires this. Men WILL think of you in a sexual manner. it’ll be men you never expected, and you’ll be stuck fending off their unwanted advances. It’s easier to shortcut all that crap and not look or act at all tempting. It’s 2020, but we still live in a freaking manosphere and scrotes will always be scrotes.
Take it from me, I’ve lived this for a long time and managed to succeed in a male-dominated field. Male bosses, co-workers, and clients can always be expected to involve their dicks whenever they can, in the most absolutely exasperating situations.
[–]ghygdryhchmmmmjjFDS Newbie18 points19 points20 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It's so sad :(
[–]fresiparFDS Newbie29 points30 points31 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
this is why high school (or college, too? not sure) teachers have one of the highest divorce rates -- they think they have a chance with those young girls around them, and lose respect/attraction for the wife at home. it's ridiculous.
[–]99powerFDS Newbie10 points11 points12 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Sad fact is that grooming and manipulating children is easy. They probably do have a good chance with those poor girls, because they know how to use childish admiration/immaturity in their favor. Gross. 🤮
[–]SteelCupcake2544 points5 points6 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Source?
[–]PrettyAlienFDS Newbie8 points9 points10 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
"I'd rather date a 15yo boy. At least that's still older than twice my age." "Age gap can be ok as long as I'm the older one in the relationship" "You could be cute if you were younger, do you have a son? (: " "If I liked old farts, I'd get one that's at least rich and about to die"
I'm kind of joking, but this relationship is already ruined, so just be honest and blunt this is HIS problem and his problem alone, and there is no way you could ever be attracted to him, what the hell is he thinking. He even has children! His audacity needs to be put in check.
When he tries to come close, tell him he now makes you feel nauseated and go away. If he complains about it, he will have to out himself as a disgusting perverted anyway.
[–]Cherry-Garcia-FDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
He needs to know that this is NOT acceptable behavior. He can find someone attractive but that does NOT mean it’s appropriate to say anything to this person, treat them differently or try to make it that person’s problem.
[–]PipulkaPickmeisha™️4 points5 points6 points 6 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
I have two male friends since highschool, rest has all tried to get into my pants. I only befriend women these days.
[–]riseaboveagainFDS Apprentice8 points9 points10 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yup. 2020, got disgusted and finally did a purge and got rid of all my male “friends” except one. Also deleted and blocked from social media and phone.
Even my best friend’s husband has said sexual things to me once, when he was drunk. What a disappointment. Men are awful, dick-driven creatures, and I no longer trust any of them.
[–]ctrlcutieFDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
even men admit they would absolutely fuck their female friend if she said yes. I can befriend men but don't think I trust them 100% like with women
[–]PipulkaPickmeisha™️5 points6 points7 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
One rejected me years ago, the other is asexual. So no worries there lol.
[–]aclumsygirlAt-Risk Pick Me Youth5 points6 points7 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Oh God, this has happened to me and i know EXACTLY how she feels. It's such a gross, creepy, inappropriate feeling. Like your own dad is hitting on you. And you feel betrayed, in a way. Like you thought he really cared about you as a father figure and all along he was trying to get in your pants. Ugh. It really sucks.
I don't "blame" these guys for the attraction, we can't control who we're attracted to. But I do blame them for acting on it. They know it isn't reciprocated, so why lay it on us? It's disgustingly selfish. Just stay away from the girl and keep your mouth shut about it.
[–]mypepsipussyFDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Fucking typical. I expect nothing from men at this point. Not even dirt.
[–]even_thrillerFDS Apprentice6 points7 points8 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I had something similar happen with a coworker at my current job. He's 16+ years older than me and I thought we had a mentor/mentee dynamic until all of a sudden he asked me out for coffee. I told him I wasn't interested and remain civil but I keep things very short now when we interact with each other.
[–]RadarFemefFDS Newbie3 points4 points5 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
The OP from that thread defends him and also all “age gap” relationships between old professors and their young student mentees....
[–]NovemberinthechairFDS Apprentice2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Awe, that happened to me too. It changed the way I interact with me forever. At the time, I felt it useful to tell the guy I didn't find him attractive and he was far too old for me. Better than a slap in the face.
[–]FodderFigureIllushunFDS Newbie1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I empathize with how she feels because she didn't enter this relationship with the sole purpose of making it a romantic one. It's good that he's told her about his feelings instead of secretly stewing in them and eventually making her the villain in his mind because she didn't psychically sense his attraction and reciprocate.
Now that it's out in the open, she can set her boundaries and make it clear to him that their relationship moving forward will only be a professional one.
This is why I rarely make friends with men an adult (it was much easier when I was in college because it's like we grew up together...even that had its setbacks). They always catch feelings because of their proximity to you.
[–]Kekekeke7777FDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I don’t think it’s good he told her his feelings. It’s not her job and he made it her burden. He knows it puts her in an awkward position. If he’s so distraught by his feelings for her he can tell a friend or a therapist.
[–][deleted] 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]sweatydeath[M] 4 points5 points6 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I know you are but what am I?!
Banned a scrote 😆
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