Men have become so comfortable with violating women’s boundaries that they don’t feel any shame in admitting to it

NoOrdinaryLifeXO · 2021-10-14T14:16:26+00:00

What the actual fuck?

CountingDownTheDays5 · 2021-10-14T13:12:55+00:00

Some men truly believe women have no boundaries if the "right man" comes along. I have heard it being vocalized on this site and outside in reality as well. The idea that my boundaries disappear based upon a man physical or financial status is a falsehood men use to push the boundaries of women who have clearly laid them out. But many were breed to internalize women have no say once a man enters their life.

BasieSkanks · 2021-10-14T13:06:03+00:00

For context, Dr Jess Taylor was interviewed by Emma Barnett on Women’s Hour to ‘debate’ whether having sex with a woman whilst she is asleep is rape. The Sexual Offences Act 2003 clearly states that a person is unable to consent to sex if they are asleep. Jess was inundated with men (and women!!!) arguing that that attempting to have sex with someone whilst they are asleep is wrong and is rape. A lawyer contacted Jess to say that he does this to his wife all the time, which is shocking because he will likely be struck off as lawyers have to be fit to practice.

This man’s confidence in sharing that he rapes his wife regularly is a classic example of how men are comfortable with breaking women’s boundaries. Women who challenge men on this are called “vanilla” or “prude” or “not understanding of grey areas” - as if rape is ever a grey area. I thank Dr Jess Taylor for speaking out and for not letting this scrote get away with his abominable behaviour. Don’t let the media gaslight you into thinking men violating women’s sexual boundaries is normal and should be accepted. Because it’s not.

EDIT: see below for Jess’ update on the situation. Looks like this man is about to lose his job and license to practice :)

“Update:

After a bit of digging, this dude isn’t a criminal lawyer, but he is a lawyer working for a south town council and I’ve just told him that I’ve found out who he is and they will be sent his emails. He then backtracked and pretended to be a woman called Sue.”

LuciferSpades · 2021-10-14T14:52:36+00:00

My ex husband would claim he doesn't remember it and says he was asleep when he did it.

And yet at the end when I was building up the money to leave him I started sleeping on a camping cot in another room and I would wake up to him trying to slip onto the cot with me, and even after I started locking the door he would try to get in....

He still thinks he's not a rapist to this day.

Mothsinabox · 2021-10-14T15:58:28+00:00

My ex did this, filmed it, and then tried to blackmail me with it when I found out and wanted to go to police. I would argue that some men know full well that it’s not okay, yet seem to think consequences cannot touch them, therefore they are not rapists. Fuck this. Fuck all of this. Fuck any person who tries to say a unconscious individual can consent.

crapeescape · 2021-10-14T15:52:15+00:00

And if you asked men they would be like ‘wow I wish my wife had sex with me in the middle of the night!’ They have such a distorted view of consent and can’t understand why that would cross personal boundaries

Pasdepromesses · 2021-10-14T16:48:25+00:00

My ex raped me when I was asleep, and when I called him out on it he strangled me and raped me mid living room. They’re rapists and they know it, it doesn’t ‘not count’ because the other party doesn’t notice. If they genuinely believed it was harmless they wouldn’t mind waking us up.

Another ex always kept forcibly moving my hand on/around his dick over and over again till I gave up and just gave head/a handjob. He did this with his eyes closed and a very aggressive demeanour. He did it every night, multiple times. Only stopped when I didn’t care about the relationship anymore and ‘accidentally’ pinched his balls.

I’m so glad that I learned about consent, healthy relationships, women’s rights and have healthy boundaries now.

RevolutionaryKale6 · 2021-10-14T20:02:23+00:00

My first time was when I slept over at my ex’s dorm room and I woke up to him putting it in me. It didn’t hurt or anything but that has never sat well with me and I know it was rape. I’ve brought it up several times in the past but he just brushed it off. Rape is when there is no explicit consent, period. Don’t ever let a man coerce you into otherwise.

scooter_se · 2021-10-14T16:19:20+00:00

This kind of shit infuriates me. I woke up getting sexually assaulted once. I did NOT consent, it was NOT okay, and it was incredibly traumatic. Fuck this guy and fuck everyone who thinks this is okay.

CantoErgoSum · 2021-10-14T17:12:49+00:00

Ah, marital rape! Can't wait for his firm to find out :')

cheybaby2424 · 2021-10-14T16:31:52+00:00

This is how my ex husband raped me. Woke up in the middle of it, screamed no 6 times, tried to fight him off. He pinned me down and kept going. My tears aroused him even more and I was sore for a whole week. I escaped that fucker and to this day he still thinks he didn't rape me.

Junior-Lion7893 · 2021-10-14T20:25:12+00:00

This is my biggest fear when sleeping with someone (even with my husband) is that they’ll try to have sex with me and film it while I’m unconscious. Huge red flag 🚩

Lots of people think it’s kinky, but it’s scary af. You don’t know what could happen to you, if he’s wearing protection, if he’s filming this act and if it could be put on the internet.

Fun_Employment6335 · 2021-10-14T18:23:00+00:00

Disgusting - will he lose his job for this?

thewetdog_ · 2021-10-14T23:02:04+00:00

Someone should ask if taking money from the wallet of a passed out scrote is theft.

Maybe then they’re empathy will kick in (jk it obviously wont!)

quasarbar · 2021-10-14T16:43:22+00:00

Seems like he's saying his dick is so tiny and unfulfilling his wife can't even feel it and sleeps right through its insertion.

dragonmonarch · 2021-10-14T13:57:31+00:00

How can one vet for this kind of behaviour? My blood runs cold at the idea of being anywhere near someone in any capacity who believes that rape is okay.

Equal-Ear2312 · 2021-10-14T17:20:04+00:00

tbh there is nothing to debate there... it's rape 100% and I wouldn't even entertain debating, whataboutists or devil's advocates on this.

Newwavesupport3657 · 2021-10-14T19:58:27+00:00

I’ve heard too many stories about women getting raped or molested in their sleep and it makes me terrified to date men at all. I want to get over my “need” for male approval/desire for a relationship because I crave mutual love and affection, but don’t think men are capable of it to be honest. This terrifies me. I had delayed phase sleep my entire life because my “father” sexually abused me and I still had to live with him so it made me the last one awake. I’m afraid to date or have relationships with men, because I’m afraid they will touch me in my sleep. This is scary. How do you avoid men like rhis? It’s sick. And it’s true; there are studies that a lot of men won’t admit to rape, but instead of saying rape, use the term “forced sex” and many, MANY men will admit to this! Like 1 in 3. It’s terrifying! Why are they like this?!! It’s evil

I don’t think men are capable of love.

His poor wife. We aren’t living beings with feelings to them, they are sadists!

aquietsword · 2021-10-14T19:08:01+00:00

Forward to his employer, maybe even show the email+sender for the world to see...idk, just ideas

blackgirlnorhythm · 2021-10-14T19:33:36+00:00

I love when they tell on themselves >>>>>

HackGamez · 2021-10-14T13:24:31+00:00

Wtf is this shit?

Where am I?

I wanna go home.

radfem_babe · 2021-10-15T00:18:28+00:00

Some Men are so stupid, why would admit that and send it in an email? They really do tell on themselves.

Aromatic-Owl8808 · 2021-10-14T20:45:25+00:00

When will he be arrested?

Koolkat30625 · 2021-10-15T06:13:09+00:00

My ex would have sex with me too while I was sleeping but he was also physically, mentally, and emotionally abusive. I'm just glad I finally stopped believing his lies that he would change and ended the relationship. It's sickening what some men will do to the person that they "love". That just because you are married they own your body. And the laws for so long supported rape in marriage. It doesn't even surprise me because some men have no respect for women and see us as just someone to be used, abused, and discarded when they find a new shiny toy to play with (another woman).

housewivestea · 2021-10-14T22:02:44+00:00

Love Dr Jessica Taylor

SupremeDearLeader · 2021-10-14T18:05:12+00:00

wife's not asleep, just staying still because lifestyle, plus fear of dirty custody fight

[ was married to trial lawyer]

spinsterchachkies · 2021-10-17T16:49:01+00:00

It’s not rape if you’re married. Why else would a man get married if he’s not allowed to have sex with his wife whenever he wants? /s

hensbanex · 2021-10-14T17:22:49+00:00

[permanently deleted]

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Title	Men have become so comfortable with violating women’s boundaries that they don’t feel any shame in admitting to it
Author	BasieSkanks
Upvotes	2414
Comments	66
Date	October 14, 2021 1:01 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/q7z8ow/men_have_become_so_comfortable_with_violating/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/men-have-become-so-comfortable-with-violating.1079575 https://theredarchive.com/post/1079575

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