Perfect explanation on why you should NEVER date or marry down!

Eqvvi · 2021-11-17T16:20:05+00:00

She's spot on! That's exactly what FDS tells us as well. They may act like they appreciate you or like they want that arrangement of being provided for, but they will resent you nonetheless and trade you for someone who will look up to them the moment they get a chance to. And they will look down on that new person too. LVM are pests.

It's a shame I already get away my free award today. Leaving a comment to award the next one in a few hours. For now here's this 🥇

plomerst · 2021-11-17T17:09:16+00:00

I 100% agree. Anytime I dated a man that I was more successful than, he would argue and bicker with me alllll the time. It’s like he was competing with me on who was smarter or more knowledgeable. Interestingly, I never had that dynamic with men that were more successful than me.

Sunshine_Daisies2525 · 2021-11-17T23:18:39+00:00

I started earning more money than my ex while we were together and he got incrementally more and more disrespectful. He would devalue my achievements and make snide comments. I realized this all in hindsight like Taylor Swift, lol. So watch out if as you level up your partner is unable to keep up and lashes out.

Aocwannabe · 2021-11-17T17:42:33+00:00

Every time I have dated a man with less money than me, he has resented me and tried to make me feel bad.

You want a man who has lots of options and chooses to be with you out of his options just as you are choosing him from your options. When a man has options he learns discipline and self- control. When you “give chances” to the man who asks you to bet on his potential, he thinks you are a sucker for being loyal to him! I literally had a man tell me to my face that he couldn’t “bet on my potential” when I was in a bad financial position. Guess who begged me through tears to not dump him multiple times when I expressed that I wanted marriage and children and knew that it wasn’t going to happen?

He didn’t even come into beaucoup money! He just went from living paycheck to paycheck to a stable income. I’m so happy that I turned down his marriage proposal earlier on in our relationship.

PS Beware of when the family is in on the gold digging. One of the first times I met his sister was through FaceTime and he showed her where I lived and that I had a pool. She told him that he should marry me- right in front of me. My intuition bells went off but I thought maybe I was being classist. She has 4 children by 2 different men and that ex never understood why I wasn’t interesed in being close to her. He also helped her out financially so I had anxiety about taking on his family financially.

rialBybbA-18 · 2021-11-17T16:30:25+00:00

“Don’t ever give a man a chance to embarrass you, he will take it.” Wow. That really resonates with me. I wish I had known that earlier.

jp2117515 · 2021-11-17T21:17:02+00:00

He left Anna for a very powerful wealthy family. He’s just on to use the next woman to get whatever he can. And he also continues his disrespect of the new wife as well. We see that in his SM posts. Embarrassing photos of her and snarky remarks. He’s no prize he’s a burden. There’s no win with him. Good for Anna for liberating herself from this trash!

Sewud · 2021-11-18T05:47:20+00:00

I think this is giving men too much credit. "Don't date down because he'll dump you once he rises his value." Are we still worshipping men and believing that all men become successful eventually? Most losers will never amount to anything and that's why you should not date them, not because of the fear that he might leave you if he becomes successful.

The best thing you can do is date a man who is a good person and who is successful. That way if he leaves you he'll give generous child support, generous divorce settlements, and he'll have a loving and generous relationship with the kids forever. If Chris Pratt never became successful and still left Anna Farris, she'd be worse off, so it has nothing to do with fearing their success.

And I don't like this mate-guarding energy from women, I think it's desperate and low-value. If he wants to leave, he wants to leave. It doesn't have to mean the woman will forever be crying over him feeling salty and saying "a real man would have stayed". No. You just move on. But you want to make sure you get with a man who is a good person and successful so that if the relationship ends you don't end up in a bad situation.

Nonsluttymen · 2021-11-17T19:26:29+00:00

Why should we give in to men’s desire to subjugate us?

It only gets worse when you see the pattern of guys making more money being more likely to be cheaters.

Men like this are scrotes. I just hope it’s not all of them.

Edit to add: I am now much more likely to avoid any movies in which he acts.

tooflyforyou · 2021-11-17T17:43:20+00:00

With all my exes I always had to soothe their ego because I was more successful than them and would obviously be the breadwinner. They would literally be depressed and have an attitude because they felt they weren’t more successful than me lmao.

My last straw was when one of my exes literally told me that he was having doubts about marriage because he wasn’t sure that he would be able have enough money for our kids (future kids when we get married) because he had to send money home to his sisters unless I used my income for our family. He also wanted me to have relationships with my toxic relatives just to inherit their money and property later on.

I left and never looked back and vowed to never marry down.

xfelugirlx · 2021-11-17T18:48:06+00:00

She’s on point and drop dead gorgeous too

Jamila_120 · 2021-11-17T17:35:30+00:00

I always thought my mom was toxic and wrong for always advising me to not settle or marry down or don’t marry who is not established yet! She told me this phrase of ‘building together with him’ is a scam which most naive women fall in to. She always advised me to marry an established man who already has his life set together. The men who you are ‘building together’ will leave you or cheat on you the moment he is established or gets successful. I always remember this advice. my younger and naive self thought mom was wrong and just being bitter but now that I am older I see the wisdom in my mom’s advice. Listen to your momma’s ladies they know what they are talking about.

serendistupidity · 2021-11-17T19:49:48+00:00

Like in gone girl when Amy said "I made him rise to my level and he found himself a newer younger bouncier cool girl"

dallyan · 2021-11-17T18:56:00+00:00

As an over-40 woman with a PhD I’m screwed. Lol

bizzybumblebee · 2021-11-17T21:05:27+00:00

she is definiiiiiitely on here!! she's gotta be, she uses terms like "high value"!

PicoPicoMio · 2021-11-18T06:37:31+00:00

Lvm will resent you either way, no matter who provides. But yes Chris Rat is out here embarrassing the hell out of his new wife.

BedazzledSwashbuckle · 2021-11-18T16:07:03+00:00

I don't entirely agree that he's looking to be a provider .... Ironically, he moved on to a wife who is far, far more financially secure (from a family perspective) than his first wife. A Kennedy doesn't need a Pratt to provide for her, ever. So it's all the credit for providing and none of the pressure to provide. Which works for a psychopath - he's not at all looking to provide for anyone.

He's probably more focused on bagging/babytrapping someone who will impress other men (and be forced into either not asking for alimony from him or who will be paying alimony to him when he inevitably "levels up" again). Being married to American royalty probably also opens Hollywood doors as well.

When this wife ages and/or "isn't fun anymore" or doesn't admire him enough to let him get away with all he's likely pulling behind closed doors, he will leave her and find another woman that he perceives as a "level up." The fact that her community is a conservative church (and she's probably soaked in complimentarianism and surrounded by people who chant male headship and female submission) means that standing up for herself will require her to ditch her network and relationships. I don't doubt he's leveraging that (even if it means faking Christianity) to hang on to her - I never heard of him being religious when he was with Anna.

I do agree that it's not useful to "build up" a man. It's one thing to meet as peers and grow as peers, but power imbalances in relationships are always dangerous for women, regardless of who seems to hold the power.

Feministtiktok · 2021-11-17T21:40:25+00:00

Chris pratt annoyed me instantly I never found him hot and then he divorced the funniest hottest women ever because he thought he could get someone better and I knew he was trash… then he came out as a trump supporter saying he supports Trump despite knowing Trump sexually abused women and trump is racist so I 100% knew this man was absolutely trash

LizzoSaidTruthHurts · 2021-11-18T01:42:49+00:00

Okay hear me out… I think his new wife who married him might be hypogamy too. She’s a Kennedy. 😳

SupermarketObvious92 · 2021-11-17T16:33:56+00:00

I hear her, I do, but I’d like my career to take precedence over his, and for him to work as much or less than I.

How do I make that work with him earning more? Or is it a weird thing to want? I thought maybe to find a man who comes from a wealthy background, or is a smart investor or something.

NiceForWhat22 · 2021-11-18T00:48:33+00:00

I wonder what FDS thinks: can men be providers, but not necessarily the higher earner? Say a man has a good job, but the woman just tends to have a better and higher-powered job. Can the man be a provider by taking on more of all the other household responsibilities, including kids, and taking care of his wife? Is this delusional? :( How would really career-oriented women who do NOT want to give up on their job and also don't want to take care of the household find a provider? Someone much richer and then outsource all household duties? Really eager to see what you all think.

birdsflygood · 2021-11-17T18:30:40+00:00

Yes. The dating pool gets smaller the higher value you have, but at this point in my life, I’m good with it.

CarNo5059 · 2021-11-18T00:39:09+00:00

Yep, they can't leave a relationship without humiliating, embarrassing or paint you as a abusive (high pitch) b*tch.

If you mooch off your partner and resent her later for it, why don't you do the providing then? Because you think you deserve better? In what way?

Wanna talk about biology and evolution? I think it's men's biology and evolution that they want to provide. If they don't then they must have a genetic defect.

TellCerseeItWasMe · 2021-11-18T05:24:49+00:00

Amen

Mysterious-Ocelot166 · 2021-11-17T21:26:46+00:00

Ok i mean i am 200% a straight woman .. but i would totally love to be married to Anna Faris .. what a loser !

sleutherino · 2021-11-18T01:15:56+00:00

[permanently deleted]

esthermaniii · 2021-11-20T17:35:01+00:00

Chris Rat!! 💀😭

Title	Perfect explanation on why you should NEVER date or marry down!
Author	curlyhaiir
Upvotes	1186
Comments	56
Date	November 17, 2021 3:22 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/qw1ljp/perfect_explanation_on_why_you_should_never_date/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/perfect-explanation-on-why-you-should-never-date.1083637 https://theredarchive.com/post/1083637

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