She "taught her husband a lesson" by not doing his laundry or grocery shopping after he refused to put away a handful of clothes from the dryer, because he's a guy and "not good at communicating". Someone pointed out basically he has no empathy and only reacts if there's consequences for him.

vbych76 · 2022-02-20T09:31:29+00:00

Why bother, he probably changes behavior for a week or two and there she's yet again having to over-explain her feelings and back to playing petty games.

Bbqchilifries · 2022-02-20T10:04:59+00:00

She made another pickmeisha video where she says that saying that he has zero empathy is toxic and expecting perfection and everybody makes mistakes. That not everyone has the pSyChoLogicaL sKiLLs or emotional intelligence to understand how hurtful what they say is. She even uses the words weaponized incompetence in this video. She has two kids with this man child!

"Oh wow, honey. You really showed me. I'll pretend to care for a week and then go back to my old garbage ways."

ceramicunicorn · 2022-02-20T10:19:34+00:00

Honestly, I could be a better husband than this. Wouldn’t have to talk about me like I’m a little kid still learning, she’d be stunned by how I can wash dry AND fold….and even iron! 😱

MajesticSkyPachyderm · 2022-02-20T10:26:11+00:00

What a terrible waste of time this relationship sounds like. Can you imagine how much more time to do things she actually enjoys she would have if she ditched him? Smh. 😮‍💨

PicoPicoMio · 2022-02-20T11:40:15+00:00

This man will never learn. I honestly felt like my ex would purposely leave the house even more trashed for me to pick up after him because he resented me so much. He’d literally pile clothes in front of the laundry machine for days if I didn’t wash it. God I’m so glad I left him.

Noemie_Mathilde · 2022-02-20T10:32:06+00:00

It's sad that she has to justify her actions because people will tell her to "jUsT cOMmUnICaTe". I'm pro anything that goes against the 'just communicate' narrative.

Montanegro · 2022-02-20T12:39:12+00:00

This sounds so exhausting.

elainejay82 · 2022-02-20T16:11:45+00:00

This should be something you figured out about the man BEFORE you marry him.

I swear on all that is holy if I find myself in a marriage where I have to play headgames like this, I will leave.

Like I want to be training a man about basic decency throughout my marriage to him.

I want to climb with this guy... accumulate assets, travel. I have small business ideas I want to launch. I have art I want to make and sell. I want to get my PhD. Do I sound like I want to be fucking around with a full grown male about putting laundry away?

What an absolute waste. If you settle for bare minimum, that's exactly what you'll get.

ItsFreezen · 2022-02-20T14:40:00+00:00

Imagine having to live this way for 40 plus years.

VesperLynd- · 2022-02-20T10:09:33+00:00

Women who do this are just wasting their time. He doesn’t give a shit. You’re not a big shot by ignoring his try at manipulating you, letting his dirty laundry pile up isn’t going to „show him“. Divorce his ass is what you do.

Outlaw_Giga · 2022-02-20T15:09:50+00:00

I'm a recovering alcoholic (20 months sober yesterday🥰) and it feels so so similar to that experience. You will never change someone who does not want to change. They may do some face-saving for a week or two but the core of the problem will not be solved. It sucks when these men seem to have put in the work on other aspects of their life, except when it comes to how they treat their romantic relationships. The ol bait and switch. Insufferable.

presentable_corpse · 2022-02-20T15:44:05+00:00

This is what having kids gets us, ladies. A nice pair of LVM shackles for the rest of your life.

ImpressiveHat8550 · 2022-02-20T09:37:00+00:00

And she responded with a pick me response. Her response was that people learn blah blah blah. Yes, people learn but as a grown man with MULTIPLE CHILDREN he should have learned this A LONG time ago and it’s a huge red flag that he hasn’t. But pick me’s gonna pick me.

howlsmovingcactus · 2022-02-20T15:44:55+00:00

They’re not actually in a partnership. The marriage is a sham. And she knows it. That’s why she’s desperately doing shit like this to try and make it real; it never will be. He’s incredibly selfish. Not even wanting to put your partner’s laundry away for them is ridiculously self-centered, and instead of calling him out for not being an equal participant she’s acting like his mommy. 💀

Superb-Water-3734 · 2022-02-20T10:58:28+00:00

I fail to see why she’s even with him. She had nothing positive to say about their relationship, he doesn’t do his fair share of the work, to the point where he can’t handle five T shirts, he’s not much of a words guy so she has to go to great lengths such as these just to prove a point. Like what exactly is the point of having a marriage like this? Find someone worth your time who’s going to give and reciprocate the commitment you deserve.

HolyIsTheLord · 2022-02-20T19:22:46+00:00

Another one of my ex-husband stories. Similar to our "if they wanted to, they would" mantra, I learned that they will begin to care once it becomes an inconvenience for them.

We did a full remodeling job on our home, but he constantly put off setting up the closet racks in his closet for about 6 months. That led to me constantly having to fold, refold, and organize his clothes in various areas since there was no where to hang them for months.

It was excuse after excuse, and procrastination after procrastination. More work for me, little inconvenience for him.

I finally decided that my clothes and the clothes for our son would be hung up or folded and put away as normal. With my ex-husband's clothes, I would just empty the laundry basket out onto his closet floor and close the door.

That weekend, guess who got the closet racks finally installed after having to fish his wrinkled, crumpled up clothing off the closet floor when getting ready for work?

I refuse to ever live a life like that with someone again. It's just too much energy playing those stupid games.

DreamlikeNile · 2022-02-20T11:53:54+00:00

It just sounds like petty resentment stuff... at the end of the day, she's got an unhealthy relationship by the sounds. Maybe they'll break up, or they will stay together with little significant change. It sounds like she's reliant on him however.

IDK, I'm starting to wonder if it's better for a more revolutionary approach to relationships, what if we had women's unions, women's support groups, women's financial institutions where women could get business loans, financial support, women's co-housing projects, and we had a more matrilineal society where older Uber Queens (like the Mosou in China) could keep an eye out for LVM and train the younger generation and women owned the property, had financial support and could give LVM and NVM the boot etc. These models do exist in many cultures in the world...

Professional-Ad-457 · 2022-02-20T10:33:04+00:00

Don’t get what the big deal is about putting away or folding that goes on in laundry. Why did she agree to this non task instead of insisting he is responsible for actual ‘doing the laundry’? ‘Putting away’ takes a couple of secs surely unless I’m doing it wrong. I don’t think this exists as a task in the UK - UK ladies?

Codex-42 · 2022-02-20T10:42:11+00:00

I hate how she explains that he "doesn't understand" when she simply have a conversation with him and explains an issue, so she needs to "do the same to him" so he would realises why is something a problem.

This is really insane.

BrokeTroubles · 2022-02-20T12:05:35+00:00

And then he realised how trash his behaviour is and he changed his LV ways for good, they fist bumped and lived happily ever after.

Yeah nah.

orangechickengeneral · 2022-02-20T18:09:02+00:00

The first step to break free from this awful relationship is to admit to herself that she married a selfish, unsympathetic toddler in the body of a grown man. Her denial is what keeps her in bondage.

She will come up with highly elaborate explanations as to why this relationship is worthy of saving, she will play these petty games to "teach him a lesson" on how she wants to be treated, she will cOmmuNicAte until the cows come home, but ultimately, she will waste her one and only life on someone who isn't worth shit.

lessadessa · 2022-02-20T13:56:33+00:00

These women started re-raising grown men for what their mothers should have taught them as children. How can they expect their husbands to be functioning partners, fathers or providers if they are not even one step above an actual child? It baffles me.

All_Perception · 2022-02-20T16:39:11+00:00

Oh my god. This reminds me of when I was with my ex and did ALL of the housework. All of it. Dishes, laundry, grocery shopping, cooking. There were a couple of times that I pretty much lost my mind and said that I wanted to only do MY stuff and he could take care of his. My ex would freak out and say "that's not what teams do! Teams do things together and I want to be a team with you 🤡."

I think I felt stuck between doing everything myself or having a 3 hour long argument where I "communicate my feelings" and still doing everything myself. I was young and naive and didn't realize yet that I could just leave. But the whole "we're a teeeaaamm! We do things tooogetheer!" still haunts me. Most men are shitty teammates yet they claim that's what they want.

N0Scrubz0 · 2022-02-20T09:49:39+00:00

This is so shit, he is only helping out again because it serves him rather than doing something because he cares about her or the family. SMH

relampagos_shawty · 2022-02-20T12:52:07+00:00

Or you can find a man that you don't have to treat like a child 😩

boopsfoshoops · 2022-02-20T16:31:07+00:00

I tried this... I just ended up living in a stanky pigsty for years. Doesnt work if your man is gross. 🤮 Nah, sis. Just leave.

The_Cat_Empress · 2022-02-20T17:13:48+00:00

First off...her eyes are STUNNING!!

"I'm not going to throw the whole man away"

Sweetie please...You have CHILDREN...for your mental health in the long run, LEAVE.

JFC these men just need to live with each other at this rate because if they think they can foist the SHOPPING all on one woman then it's pretty pathetic.

YayitsTuesday234 · 2022-02-20T15:11:32+00:00

She almost has it! “He’s not a words guy”- meaning he responds to consequences. If she finds herself doling out the same consequences for the same BS, the next step is to throw the whole man out or live in a reality where you are constantly hurt and punishing your husband. And no one can be attracted to a man child.

scorchedsouI · 2022-02-20T11:36:00+00:00

3 full minutes of this loser coping and desperately trying to not feel like the doormat that deep down she knows she is.

Oh you smiled and laughed instead of violently losing your shit? Wow, how scary.

JulyParade · 2022-02-20T16:11:19+00:00

These women also think we are lonely without boyfriends. This seems lonely af to me.

calaverarosacorazon · 2022-02-20T12:59:07+00:00

I just dont see the point of spilling your private life and problems for tiktok views. I would be very embarassed to let people know that the man child I married is a slob and an asshole. Its given that her husband is an ass but why drag yourself down to his level by posting videos like this showing the whole world how you are accepting this kind of behavior.

icy-wind2 · 2022-02-20T14:58:03+00:00

No thanks. Imagine the stress having to deal with someone like that every day. There are teenagers more responsible than him.

No-Village-3946 · 2022-02-20T16:30:53+00:00

I'm sure he could've reached that conclusion on his own, but I think he just didn't care until it started to inconvenience him. He didn't have some grand epiphany like she made it sound. He just assumed she would do everything for him forever with no reciprocity. He works, she mentioned. So does he similarly think all the money he makes from working is his alone because it's his job? No. He knows that he is a father and a husband, so there's none of that kind of talk. What's next? Letting the trash pile up in the house because he refuses to take it out since it's mostly her trash from cooking and cleaning? Not changing her tires because "it's her car"? Not picking up something from the grocery store his wife requested because it's something he doesn't personally eat? Sounds like he's not involved with the rest of the family. He's in his world, operating on his own needs. He's not a family man. You can't turn a man child into a family man.

Not_the_fun_k1nd · 2022-02-20T17:17:45+00:00

Anyone notice how she made the task how you would for a small child/older baby?

Like, everything's completed. It's like a "symbolic" task.. He he he! My husband iS SO hElPfuL 🤡

mrs_snrub_86 · 2022-02-20T14:01:28+00:00

This is so much wasted time and energy.

Be_Unto_Others · 2022-02-20T14:43:55+00:00

This idea of "if there's consequences". People like him lack empathy for good folks who themselves would inherently 'consequently' feel wrong about not helping other good folk. Pretty sure there's a word for folks like him that don't 'inherently' experience that consequence. 'Socio something tendencies'?

spinsterchachkies · 2022-02-20T22:09:51+00:00

Why stay married? And she’s airing out their business eeesh. Embarrassing. I could never. That’s why I haven’t been picked yet my standards are too high lol 😂😂😂😂

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