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Previous-Focus-2013
[–]Summerisle7FDS Disciple 129 points130 points131 points 5 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
Run far away from Coltee and Debbie
[–]azureangel35FDS Apprentice 32 points33 points34 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
her voice saying Coltee has permanently traumatized me :)
[–]Candid_Check_4843FDS Apprentice 21 points22 points23 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Haha yeah, if it didn't work out for Larissa and Jess, it's not going to work out for you
[–]FabledAngryVillagerFDS Apprentice 20 points21 points22 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Omg I thought of them!!!
[–][deleted] 5 points6 points7 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Oh my god, that self centered ugly scrote, he even has an only fans now. His mom probably runs it and compliments him for it.
[–]fairywakesFDS Newbie 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I put on my MAKEUPEE for TWO HOURS-EEE and he doesn't NOTICE-EEE
[–]Starsuponstars 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
The fact that I immediately recognized this line makes me weep for humanity.
[–]DallasOMalleyFDS Newbie 224 points225 points226 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Honestly, I stopped reading after "He lives with his mom".
[–]verusckaFDS Disciple 49 points50 points51 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
LOL same I couldn’t get past that first paragraph
[–]Exsqueeze_mehFDS Apprentice 20 points21 points22 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
hahah me too. Full stop ✋.
[–]Summerisle7FDS Disciple 24 points25 points26 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Same! I get that it’s normal in some cultures but it doesn’t fly in my culture.
[–]mackenzie013FDS Newbie 12 points13 points14 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Came here to say that! 😅
[–]all_or_nothing_betFDS Apprentice 199 points200 points201 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
She wants to pay for his mom's apartment? Oh god, why is she doing this to herself? It's a financial trap that she will never be able to get out of.
[–]burpleseaurchinPickmeisha™️[🍰] 72 points73 points74 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah honestly, thank god the guy is refusing! She'll thank her lucky stars later after she gets tf out of there!
[–]glendorazaFDS Newbie 127 points128 points129 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This is a huge struggle in the south Asian community. My ex spouse put me through hell along with his parents whom I lived with. I did not last even a year. Holy shit
[–]ASeaOfQuotesFDS Apprentice 110 points111 points112 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
His poor mom would probably LOVE to live alone and stop having to clean up after a grown man. I grew up very poor and my mom transitioned from ‘us living with her’ to ‘her living with us’ around our 20s when my brother and I started making more money than any of her jobs ever did, and when she finally got her own place she was so happy. I understand wanting to care for your parents but this goes way beyond that.
[–]Summerisle7FDS Disciple 53 points54 points55 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
This is such a good point. Has anyone bothered asking this lady, who per the OP is not that old and is in good health, what SHE would like to do? Maybe she’d be just as happy without sonny boy OR sonny boy’s girlfriend living with her.
[–][deleted] 39 points40 points41 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Unfortunately your always going to just be "the other woman" in his life. Get out while ur still young enough to live
[–]PasDeToutFDS Newbie 68 points69 points70 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
He is going to string her along until she can’t actually have kids. She needs to dump him and find someone who doesn’t live with Mommie Dearest.
[–]Summerisle7FDS Disciple 32 points33 points34 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
LOL @ “Mommie Dearest.” Personally these situations give me more of a Norman Bates and Mother vibe
[–]daisy_0720FDS Disciple 12 points13 points14 points 5 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
You can totally see this guy saying "well, a boy's best friend is his mother."
[–]virgoranFDS Newbie 33 points34 points35 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
How do I help him see we have other options?
You don't. Different needs/wants. Just leave.
[–]temproaryusernameFDS Newbie 35 points36 points37 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Future-faked, begging, second-fiddle, financially disadvantaged, begging internet strangers for advice....
Yeah, why WOULDNT you want to continue forcing this amazing relationship.... 🙄
[–]TheFinalGirl_21FDS Newbie 13 points14 points15 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This is horrifying. I hope she finds her way out. I was looking on a mom sub earlier today and was absolutely disgusted. Is this really how it is out there? Yikes.
[–]EmpoweredGoatFDS Newbie 67 points68 points69 points 5 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Unless they are long term caregivers, men who live with their parents over the age of 30 are automatically LVM and not worth dating. If they haven’t grown up by then, they never fucking will.
Case in point: I have a LVM uncle in his 50’s who has lived with my grandmother (his mom) for roughly 8 years.
He lives in her casita and she charges him $400/month in an area where she could easily charge double. He STILL cannot make rent and only pays her half of the time.
He had an opportunity in his 20’s to go to school and his great uncle offered to pay tuition in full. He refused the offer.
A few months ago his washer broke and he got a new one, which my grandma pulled the loan out for. He’s paying her back because his credit score is trash.
He owns an old car that is constantly breaking down. Because of this, my grandma is constantly buying various items for him at the store.
However, uncle magically manages to spend thousands of dollars on computer parts and systems because they’re “for work.” In reality he has serious gaming and (most likely) porn addictions. He is so addicted that he has severe back pain from being hunched over the computer for hours every day.
I’m close with my grandmother; she has assured me she is keeping track of every dime he owes her and will be taking it out of his inheritance.
[+][deleted] 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
[deleted]
[–]Summerisle7FDS Disciple 20 points21 points22 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I never thought of that! There’s a tv show, “A.P. Bio” where the LVM main character is living in his dead mother’s house. He hasn’t changed a thing in the house plus he’s broke so he’s living amongst this fussy old lady decor including Jesus pictures and flowery bathrobes.
[–]souredskittlesFDS Disciple 8 points9 points10 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
She should take out more for dealing with his bs
[–]Davina33FDS Disciple 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Gosh. I'm battling multiple chronic health conditions and I'm doing better than him plus being 20 years younger. I don't understand men like this, hopefully no woman touches him with a barge pole.
[–]Important_Page_6846FDS Newbie 21 points22 points23 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
First off how you gonna have kids with a 42 year old male when you’re 35?! Sounds like a nightmare waiting to happen for that child.
[–][deleted] 8 points9 points10 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Right🤣 she needs someone a bit closer to her age. His dusty sperm won't cut it
[–]VillanellohFDS Newbie 13 points14 points15 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Fortunately most of the comments are telling her to break up with him. Let's hope she does
[–]CSardothien_1FDS Newbie 33 points34 points35 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
This is just gross...also the age difference raises a red flag to me. Even though she’s in her mid 30’s and he’s in his early 40’s it always makes the alert system in the back of my mind go ‘alert, alert!’ I know we talk about age differences with young women usually in their 20’s on this sub but idk something just seems off about it to me, or maybe I’m just looking for other red flags besides the obvious.
[–]Davina33FDS Disciple 3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yes. I'm 35 and a 40+ year old man is too old for me. If I were to meet someone, he would be 37/38 max.
[–]anotherdamnloserFDS Newbie 10 points11 points12 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
She doesn’t wanna live with her “yet”? As in she will some day? Oh honey get outta there.
[–]justanothergirl4278FDS Newbie 47 points48 points49 points 5 years ago (20 children) | Copy Link
This ones hard.
It's clearly a dealbreaker for both of them so that's that, they should go their separate ways.
I don't look down on this guy because he feels he has a duty to his mother and he's not 'living in her basement' but taking care of her. Also the woman is extremely caring and willing to take care of his mom and pay for her, she just wants space.
This is just me and I come from a culture where generational households are okay so I don't see his requests as bad, but they both need to find people who align with them because whoever concedes here will hold resentment down the road.
It's the setup for a very unhappy marriage.
The only middle ground I can think of is if they get condos next to each other or something 😂
[–]XASTA123FDS Newbie 59 points60 points61 points 5 years ago (16 children) | Copy Link
it’s not that he feels the need to take care of his mother, like op said his mom is healthy and young. he doesn’t want to live without his mother because I guarantee she still does all the cooking, cleaning, and laundry for him, so he never has to lift a finger. if he moves out, he might actually have to gasp put some effort into being an actual adult!
[–]FabledAngryVillagerFDS Apprentice 27 points28 points29 points 5 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
I come from a culture where generational housing isn't unusual, but since the gf can afford a condo for the mom - honestly, this lady [mom] needs friends other than her son.
Unless it's a money issue and/or health issue with the parent, he should be single or stop being a momma's boy.
Your partner shouldn't have to feel like the third wheel. That's what often happens when the attachment is that strong.
[–][deleted] 7 points8 points9 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
yea same with my culture, generational housing is in fact far more common than living apart from your parents. If done properly, it is amazing to have the mutual support and sense of community. However, when cultures collide it can be a challenge to keep up.
[–]pickadaisyFDS Apprentice 12 points13 points14 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
100%
[+]justanothergirl4278FDS Newbie -15 points-14 points-13 points 5 years ago (12 children) | Copy Link
Eh, I don’t see it like that. I think the bond between son and mom (especially if she’s a single mom) is extremely strong.
Like I said, I just don’t think they’re a healthy match down the road.
[–]XASTA123FDS Newbie 21 points22 points23 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
girl... do not come onto this sub and defend men who treat their mothers like personal servants 🤮
[–]TheDameWithoutASmileFDS Newbie 4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link
It says she was a SAHM mom, so probably not a single mom, actually.
[–]justanothergirl4278FDS Newbie 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
Omg, yeah if the dad's still there then this lady needs to run. 🚩 🚩 🚩
Don't understand why she'd offer to pay for her place if he was though? The whole dynamic is a headache for her
[–]Summerisle7FDS Disciple 4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Mom is probably a widow.
[–]justanothergirl4278FDS Newbie 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
That’s what I thought when first reading it. Maybe divorced too, but you never know I suppose
[–]Summerisle7FDS Disciple 4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I mean who knows, that OP is such a people pleaser, if the dad was still around she’d probably still offer to rent them both a condo. Couldn’t be me, I have better uses for my coins
[–]justanothergirl4278FDS Newbie 3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Me too. I can understand and respect it but I’d have to find someone who aligns more with the lifestyle I want. I can’t feel tied down or stressing over someone else’s money problems
[–]TheDameWithoutASmileFDS Newbie 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I'm not saying she's married now - she's probably widowed or maybe divorced - but she definitely at least had support during his growing up, probably from a husband. "Single mom" usually refers to women who are single while their kids are in the 0-21 age range.
Ohh! Okay, I understand what you’re saying now.
Apologies, I used ‘single mom’ but was thinking about just leaving his mom alone now while widowed/divorced/alone. You’re right, she probably wasn’t a single mom when raising him
[–]Summerisle7FDS Disciple 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
You see some SAH single moms. Some get enough alimony and child support that they don’t feel the need to work. Others rely on government assistance.
[–]TheDameWithoutASmileFDS Newbie 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I did specify probably. Depending on where this was, it might go up. Countries with good assistance to single mothers may have higher rates while those with weak assistance might not. The percentage of single moms who are SAH is pretty low in the US, I'm assuming.
[–]EveSerpentFDS Newbie 11 points12 points13 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I don’t see where she says he’s taking care of his mother, unless I’m missing a screen on mobile. All she says is that the mother is healthy. He could help the mother out financially without living with her. If he can’t, then he can’t afford to have the kids he’s claiming to want.
[–]Altowhovian93FDS Newbie 9 points10 points11 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Ruuuuuuuuun! First thing, no moving in with boyfriend without commitment!!! Second, OP not wanting to live with BF’s mom is valid. BF wanting to provide for his mom is valid. She offered (free of cost 🤡)to BF to put mom up else where, he refused to compromise, that’s a dealbreaker right there. She needs to drop this relationship and set her standards higher.
[–]skyerippaFDS Apprentice 7 points8 points9 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Are we sure he lives with his mom and not wife? Has she met the mother/ been at the house?
[+][deleted] 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]No_Kitchen4411Throwaway Account 10 points11 points12 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
She gave him the only bedroom? What is she, his house slave? That's absolutely one of the most disturbing things I've ever read.
I'm so sorry. I have a similar story with my mother and her three precious sons. My youngest brother is about to turn 31. She does all of his laundry and cooking. We live in England and I had to start hand washing my clothes at 13 because she wouldn't get the washing machine plugged in. Our laundry basket was full of carpet beetle larvae and it used to make me feel sick. She hated me and it seemed like she just wanted me to fail as her only daughter.
[–]XMochiixMochiiXFDS Newbie 7 points8 points9 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
What even. What guy lives with their mom at 42. Why hasn't he tried to pay for a condo for his mom and why is the gf paying for it?
[–]wonkyeyes8877FDS Newbie 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Is his mom disabled or ill and he has her staying with him to help her?
No.
It's never that.
[–]punyhumannumber2FDS Newbie 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It would be an absolute nightmare to live with a man who has never lived on his own and who has had a SAHM take care of him his entire life. Would he even know basic skills like doing laundry, dishes, cooking, etc? Forget moving in together, she wants to have babies with him? He would be such a classic useless father/husband while she would be stuck doing everything because he 'wouldn't know how' and he would keep it that way.
My guess is this guy doesn't actually want a wife or kids or his own place. He stays with her because of sex and she indulges in his fantasy of that life, but realistically he is happy with the way his life is now and has no concrete plans to follow through. He is all talk. He doesn't actually want the same things as her. He is 42, if he actually wanted that life, he would have had it by now.
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
If it's really a dealbreaker, then she knows what she needs to do. I hope she learns to respect herself.
[–]eveloeFDS Apprentice 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Why can't that someone to tell her be you?
[–]Summerisle7FDS Disciple 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Sadly, that would be called “brigading” by Reddit.
[–]eveloeFDS Apprentice 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I think we're treading in murky waters even having the "Rescue Mission" flair on this subreddit as it is.
The only way for this to be OK was if OP messaged the woman herself, instead of putting the screenshot here. It's just not worth the momentary "omg did you see this?!" high that people get from gossip.
[–]Summerisle7FDS Disciple 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Good point. I believe many of the women here do just that, they engage directly with a beleaguered OP on the original sub, and never bring the discussion here.
[–]fairywakesFDS Newbie 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Forty. Two.
[–]shoesfromparis135FDS Apprentice 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Bye Felicia!
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