I went on five or six dates with a man over the past month, and it seemed to be going great. We had similar values, both wanted something serious, had great conversations and there was definitely attraction on both ends. A lot of green flags, no red flags (a couple yellow so I was being cautious).

Despite the potential I saw in him as a long term partner, I stuck by my boundaries the entire time. And he was totally respectful of that and never pushed. Like FaceTiming before meeting, driving my own car places, and not getting physical right away.

On our final date I went to his place for dinner, and when we made our way to his room I made it clear I didn’t want to have sex. He obviously would have liked to but didn’t push and said he understands I’m not there yet. We had a hot make out sesh and even cuddled a bit. He walked me to my car, kissed me and said to let him know when I’m free this week to get together again.

So I was FLOORED when he messaged me that he doesn’t think we’re compatible because he needs a “less traditional” partner. Which is a euphemism for “you didn’t put out”.

I’m incredibly hurt that he used me to try to have sex and was disingenuous the entire courtship... but I’m so thankful I didn’t sleep with him. I know I would have felt even more crushed when he would inevitably kick me to the curb and I’m glad I could weed him out early on by not giving him the one thing he was ultimately after.

Men who truly want and respect you will wait. Just because a man says he will doesn’t mean you can believe it. Make them PROVE it. Men who only want sex tell on themselves so fucking fast.

Don’t rush into it. Wait to have sex. Wait until you’re absolutely ready and comfortable. Only you can determine what that point is and where your boundary is. Once you find it, stick by it and don’t waver. Stay safe out there, love y’all.