This person criticized kinks on a debate dub and they're getting ATTACKED for it. These comments are disturbing

ASmallGardenFairy · 2021-03-20T03:41:30+00:00

I feel like the fact that people aren’t even willing to have a conversation about the negative affects of pornography is incredibly disturbing. I don’t even know what the positive affects of porn is, if any. I see people argue stress relief but that’s a huge stretch. You can easily ride a bike, take a hot shower, read a book.

I have only ever seen it negatively affect people (from the sex trafficking victims to the porn sick men) and relationships. Reddit loves to claim to be lOgiCaL and but shuns ANY mention that it’s unhealthy, abusive and depraved. These people are in denial.

The argument that it’s “not hurting anyone”. Yes it is? It’s perpetuating increased rates of sexual assault/harassment, objectification and exploitation of women AND children. That’s fucking proven. End of story.

EDIT: /u/jargon_explosion put it beautifully about the relaxation myth!

christmasforoutlaws · 2021-03-20T03:53:48+00:00

Men will write 18 paragraphs about why kinks are great but won't go to therapy. 🙄

Apprehensive_Ad_7917 · 2021-03-20T04:04:02+00:00

I understand when people say that women use BDSM to deal with trauma but what are the men who are beating them healing from?

lillylilacladybug · 2021-03-20T03:39:12+00:00

I think people know their porn kinks are weird and unsettling and they just want the internet to be an echo chamber of porn addicted people saying “your daddy fucking his step daughter porn proclivity isn’t weird it’s just kinky”. Let’s not forget you can find support for anything on the internet. Suicidal? We have people who will tell you the most pain free way to do it. Eating disorder? Here’s some thinspo to keep you purging. Think it’s ok for family members to fuck? We’ll call it kinky and sex positive for ya.

bizzybumblebee · 2021-03-20T03:44:25+00:00

lol i remember this post and these comments. i was just loling at how they think they are making legitimate arguments. they really love to throw the "are you saying [blank]"? why yes i am, what about it. i hope OP didn't bend, i was rooting for them.

pickadaisy · 2021-03-20T04:13:31+00:00

She’s so spectacularly intelligent and I hate that she was gaslit into thinking she was “moralizing”.

Salt_Satisfaction · 2021-03-20T03:58:48+00:00

[deleted]

CowgirlMolly · 2021-03-20T03:36:31+00:00

“As a mental health clinician...”

Jesus Christ.

Spoiler, but several pages in, this man announces he’s a mental health worker.

He needs to be fired, kept away from women at all costs.

I bet he gets off hearing about sexual trauma.

I stopped reading when I found out he was a mental health worker, just as he was getting into his thoughts about incest.

A paragraph earlier, he gives BDSM two thumbs up because it’s how some people learn to cope with the trauma of being raped and abused.

He also admits women in porn are portrayed as objects and I “fuck dolls” if I remember correctly. Frankly, I’d rather forget I ready any of his thoughts at all.

Throw the whole man out!

Alisha_Reddit · 2021-03-20T09:03:57+00:00

"I dream and fantasize about beating women until their mind and body break and they're merely a shell of their former self" Reddit: WTF red flag psycho get therapy

"I dream and fantasize about beating women until their mind and body break and they're merely a shell of their former self so I watch porn of it and jerk off to it" Reddit: KING SHIT that's ur kink and it's 💖normal💖 and healthy to live out your fantasies uWu

Yogacat4 · 2021-03-20T04:21:42+00:00

Oh stfu already and get some help!

He’s not a “mental health clinician” either. Normal, healthy women aren’t watching this and shouldn’t be harassed in public.

IndividualRoutine661 · 2021-03-20T06:56:09+00:00

I dislike porn, BDSM, rugby, boxing AND violent video games - god forbid a woman has boundaries with these people. Rape apologist central on that thread I need a shower now 🙁

tatrielle · 2021-03-20T05:07:50+00:00

Unfortunately it's the lack of awareness and consciousness to identify what's changing your behavior to desire something abhorrent. Yes we don't know what other people are going through but that doesn't make harmful behavior correct if you're let's say trauma bonded and reliving your place of hurt over and over again to heal???

Somewhere along the lines, our fractured thinking and our broken society has bred this cesspool of hurtful thoughts into action and validates itself!

We are literally our own worst enemy. Pornography is a sub set of this but it effects everyone. Especially women since we are used to act out these fantasies and we are barely breaking our societal standards and biological roles. Because we have been the first to be opressed by this, I think it will be a long time before men start realizing the consequences of oversexualiztion/desensitization in their lives. Barely men are starting the discussion of their sex drives hurting or failing to enjoy intimacy. I definitely see a future where romantic relationships are non existent due to the fact that there's such a major rift in healthy and intimate communication between men and women. Sex has been so degraded into whatever it is now.

aquietsword · 2021-03-20T05:49:32+00:00

Fds gets criticized all the live long day and we don't react like that. They're mighty triggered for a group of people so sure that they're the liberated ones.

sleepykittn · 2021-03-20T09:11:42+00:00

The reticular activating system in our brain influences behaviour reflected from what we view on a regular basis.

"The Reticular Activating System helps you see what you would like to see and in doing this, influences your actions."

Aka monkey see monkey do.

People just dont want to let go of their violent entertainment and say videogames/porn/tv etc doesnt influence violence😒 it does! The same way the theory of the 5 ppl were closest to influences our identity.

Lady_Wyatt · 2021-03-20T08:51:55+00:00

NO man, not a single one, would ever share their PornHub history on their social media and make it public. So they know it's wrong. They know it's not okay.

Before the internet made porn so disgustingly accessible, men had to go to video stores, sometimes even via a back entrance, and sneak behind a curtain and leave with a non-transparent bag with the porn video inside it.

It's all about hiding. So this makes it so obvious that there is something initially wrong with it!!!

I am so fed up with this shit not being talked about and just played down and just being accepted as the status quo.

wineandtrees · 2021-03-20T11:42:06+00:00

Reading this kind of crap puts me in such an awful headspace. I literally have a difficult time letting men into my life because they might think this way (and often it ends up that they do).

Absolutely everything said in that post has such an easy rebuttal yet so many people will accept that because they don’t ever want to question their own habits. I actually used to watch porn, and then feel guilty after. I analyzed why and came to the conclusion that I couldn’t deny the women that I was seeing were being harmed, and I was basically taking part in that harm. Why do men not reach this same conclusion?

K0rla · 2021-03-20T11:37:59+00:00

Omg the one comparing bdsm porn to play fighting with your children... wtf.

Tomoshaamoosh · 2021-03-20T11:52:41+00:00

What’s crazy is that most of these men aren’t even having this type of incredibly fulfilling violent sex that they claim to be. That’s why they’re so bitter. They’re not having the beautiful, soul-bearing BDSM experiences that they proclaim to be having. Far from it

Once in a blue moon they’ll find this white whale of a woman who’s willing to let them do their disgusting degradation to them for a short while but might not let them do everything. They grow to resent her and they either break up in an ugly way or, worse, he rapes her which eventually scares her away. This then adds to their misogyny as they turn to porn to see someone else do these disgusting acts to another woman. Moving forward they’re full of bitterness that their ex wouldn’t respect their NEEDS and gaslight any future women that are unfortunate enough to date them. They’re so defensive because what is being criticised here is their fantasies. They don’t want to feel like the type of sex that they want to have is wrong

Charming-Bee-2337 · 2021-03-20T15:33:29+00:00

I hate kink. I HATE IT. When I was younger I was convinced I was 'kinky' because it was everywhere, even in fanfiction. Turns out, I don't like kink and I hate that we've effectually silenced ANY discourse against it with the stupid DoN'T KiNkShAmE MeeEEee.

I'm into a fashion that goes back to super feminine, Rococo/Victorian vibes and SWEET JESUS people jump to some scary conclusions. Because I'm wearing a long dress with some ruffles it must mean I'm into some kinky ass shit with that getup.

I have a fashion insta for it and I swear to GOD even when I'm dressed from neck to ankles in frilly cloth I STILL get thirst for it. Every once in a while I'll get a DDLG player following. I exorcise those idiots like a virus and it enrages me that they think my frilly skirt means I'm into p*do play. It pisses me off even more when the morons insist they aren't into p*dophelia when they are cosplaying as children TO HAVE SEX.

Bring back kink shaming 2021

jasmine-blossom · 2021-03-20T16:18:07+00:00

We need to stop calling these things “kinks” or “fetishes” and start calling them what they used to be called: Paraphilia or paraphilic disorders.

Definition:

Paraphilias are frequent, intense, sexually arousing fantasies or behaviors that involve inanimate objects, children or nonconsenting adults, or suffering or humiliation of oneself or the partner.

Happy-Muffin · 2021-03-20T09:08:01+00:00

This is why i love fds. Thank you T.T the only place on ALL of reddit that is genuinely against rape

Kuanzhaixiangzi · 2021-03-20T07:45:18+00:00

God I couldn't read all of that. I did notice they were all defending bdsm and rape fantasies. No mention of incest. They know it's disgusting but they've been told it's fine because it's kink. How long before incest is just a kink too?

numbers213 · 2021-03-20T13:37:43+00:00

I dont think I'd want to relive my rape trauma over over to "heal" through BDSM.

2021-03-20T16:16:15+00:00

I read tweet last week from a woman that said, "We need to kink-shame because ya'll are insane." If that ain't the truth...

dnd1stracted · 2021-03-20T08:35:17+00:00

I can’t get over their claim that “People shouldn’t be ashamed of what they enjoy unless it’s actively hurting another person or being” directly after their example of S&M. That by definition is hurting someone for pleasure!

pretty_kill · 2021-03-20T14:30:21+00:00

I just came here to read the FDS comments.

poody456 · 2021-03-21T07:38:16+00:00

Studies have literally proven that violent porn leads to real life violence.

dembar126 · 2021-03-21T09:15:34+00:00

I had to stop reading because these comments make me so fucking angry.

Fkthekirit · 2021-03-20T13:12:02+00:00

I can’t read this but these are the same men that have brain damage caused by porn that go on shooting sprees. Companies spreading this mental illness should be heavily fined with all past earnings directly distributed to all who were harmed, including and especially the partners and children of the mentally ill men.

Title	This person criticized kinks on a debate dub and they're getting ATTACKED for it. These comments are disturbing
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	290
Comments	87
Date	March 20, 2021 3:22 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/m8yefd/this_person_criticized_kinks_on_a_debate_dub_and/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/this-person-criticized-kinks-on-a-debate-dub-and.1190389 https://theredarchive.com/post/1190389

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