Why do dating apps bring out the worst in men? | the guardian article

OnlytheFantastical · 2022-02-19T18:14:49+00:00

“Honestly, women should boycott these apps,” said Breanna, 30. “I don’t know what benefit they bring – other than make us more accessible to trash men with bad intentions. I’m telling everyone I know to delete the apps. They’re not worth it and no one I know has met anyone worth a damn on them anyway.”

I’ve deleted all the apps

electroloop · 2022-02-19T19:50:08+00:00

Dating apps are a meat market for cheap, LVM to get free, easy sex.

“Free and easy” through manipulation and coercion. Do you think 90% of men on apps have the courage to approach a beautiful woman? Fuck no.

Equal-Ear2312 · 2022-02-19T17:23:31+00:00

very good article by Nancy Jo Sales:

No, dating apps didn’t invent misogyny or womanizers. But they did give straight men – unvetted men – unfettered access to women. They gave them a new sense of boldness through a seemingly endless set of options. They gave them the ability to decide with the flick of a finger whether a woman was “hot or not” enough for them to date or have sex with. They gave them the ability to create false identities who can’t be held accountable.

queenservingfacts · 2022-02-19T17:56:30+00:00

PREACH. Queens, let’s boycott these apps!

melympia · 2022-02-19T19:02:40+00:00

I can't help myself... Quote from the linked article:

Back in 2015, I wrote a story for Vanity Fair entitled Tinder and the Dawn of the Dating Apocalypse

I think we need to rename this to Dating Appocalypse. (Only partially because of the pee-pee...)

That being said, though, I don't use dating apps, nor do I plan to.

deeper-discussion · 2022-02-19T17:51:20+00:00

Nancy is amazing, not only is she making issues transparent, but she’s a spokeswoman for us all

JulyParade · 2022-02-19T17:35:54+00:00

I stopped using OLD when I realized it was turning my goal of seeking a relationship into a validation video game. If you're dating a guy from OLD with any self-esteem issues he's going right back on the apps the moment you don't give him a sufficient "gratitude dance" for doing the bare minimum.

MsXxSelfDestructxX · 2022-02-19T22:24:50+00:00

I have such mixed feelings about OLD but mostly negative because I feel gross putting myself into the pile of options for the gross men local to me to gloss over my bio. But at the same time, I'm naïve and want to hold onto some glimmer of hope that maybe I'm missing out on a good fun, positive time meeting someone HV by chance.

_cnz_ · 2022-02-19T23:41:09+00:00

It’s very funny that they use a black women as the cover picture for the article. As a black women myself, I’ve gotten so many disgustingly racist and sexual comments across all dating apps when I used them. I had no provacative pictures on my accounts and would usually get these comments as the first messages, so I was not inviting this behavior at all. I thought this was a normal thing for most women until I went on my Asian friends’ accounts. Not only did they not get any such comments, they received super likes by the hour and we’re constantly engaged in genuine conversations with the men the matched with.

In the end, my account was banned bc I was reporting scrotes too much and I’ve never looked back. These apps severely damaged my self esteem and made me believe that if any person liked me, I was nothing more than a racial fetish to them.

aziza7 · 2022-02-20T03:32:03+00:00

I went out on a Valentine's weekend (2 days before the 14th which was a Monday) date with a man (47) who I had been talking to through Hinge for a couple weeks. We had good banter and he sent voice notes in addition to texts. He arrived to the date with a Valentine's gift of mini teddy bears, chocolate, and homemade cookies. I was tickled pink. We then had a lovely dinner and he drove me home (it felt safe enough to do so). During dinner we talked about dating and he admitted that he was "addicted to swiping" and thinking to himself while looking at photos "Oh you're gorgeous, but you're gorgeous too *swipe swipe* I wander what's next?!". I was a little shocked but not surprised. Anyways, we texted more after the date and then the next day I didn't hear from him. He had told me he was hosting a Superbowl thing for the boys so I didn't think I would. Then actual Valentine's day I didn't hear from him either. Odd. Tuesday I realized that I had tickets to a movie he would really like so I reached out to invite him. His reply? He said I was right that I should have heard from him earlier but he didn't "feel strongly enough to more forward". How could he ever feel strongly enough after one dinner and when I'm competing against a fantasy woman who is only ten swipes away?

thepsychopathhunter · 2022-02-19T17:48:56+00:00

I love Nancy Jo Sales. ♥️ I remember reading her article on I think it was Tinder and the dawn of the dating apocalypse a while back. She always spoke the truth and continues to do so in a world that continues to normalize the traumas and horrors of online dating for women. Thanks for sharing the article, it was an enjoyable and validating read.

Hungry_dogs · 2022-02-19T22:31:49+00:00

I can't do dating apps anymore. In all honestly, most forms of communication with men I had tried to end. There isn't a point.

Everytime I speak with a man I just get reminder why I should avoid them and focus of myself.

corkymuu · 2022-02-19T20:50:28+00:00

The internet in general seems to bring out the worst in men. They no longer have to hide their true nature.

ProgramUnfair4738 · 2022-02-19T23:27:53+00:00

I live in a very rural area, so I feel like OLD is my main option. But earlier someone outright asked me for sex on the third message. And another guy tried hitting on me using a Harry Potter reference. I love Harry Potter, but I’m also in my thirties so I expect more from my interactions with fully grown men.

The whole OLD scene near me seems to move in peaks of potential suitors galore followed by troughs of scrotes who immediately tell on themselves. Right now, the obvious scrotes are out in force. It’s depressing. And because I’m finding it depressing I’m considering ditching it altogether while I do some more work on myself.

Khentiamentiu42 · 2022-02-19T18:29:25+00:00

They can spew entitlement into a seemingly blank space?

ItsFreezen · 2022-02-19T23:50:34+00:00

Dear Scrotes. Dating Isn't a Men Rights Issue. And YOU PROVED just Entitled and privileged you are. Morons.

savagegardenn · 2022-02-19T17:43:40+00:00

I would absolutely never use a dating app if I were in college, in a hip neighborhood, or in my 20’s. But with careful, ruthless vetting, it’s probably the most convenient way for women in their 30’s to meet a lot of men quickly. Just stick to the handbook. Only “like” guys who meet your standards, and unmatch the SECOND they turn you off. They are definitely shopping for sex. If they neg you, want to move off the app, are too eager to meet, NEXT. Dating apps are not for 27 year old me. But at 36, I know they’re competing for me, against myself enjoying my own company. And as soon as a message isn’t fun to read, bye boi!

Show-me-the-sea · 2022-02-19T22:14:21+00:00

Gosh I learnt so many lessons on dating apps. I was single and started a new job. It was a flurry of dates as I assessed their interest on the first date. Any warning signs whatsoever and I was out of there.

Then I fell hard and yep - as most of these comments and the article described - found the worst one. So I left for months and focused on me.

I tried one more time at the insistence of a friend. Happy to say I found a good one. We’re married and have kids now.

dualita · 2022-02-20T05:13:19+00:00

Has anyone seen a trend of women promoting these apps because they found their boyfriends there? They promote it like they are getting paid for it and I'm done with this.

I like video games but I know that they are not everyones piece of cake and I don't shove it down everyones throat.

NotMyRealName814 · 2022-02-20T13:26:59+00:00

I know that I'm pretty old and out of touch but finding a relationship through dating apps has never had any appeal to me at all. I've never created a profile on any of them. I'd rather meet a man through work or mutual friends or hobbies. Sure, you run across many men who are trash but you can see them right away for what they are and do so many times before you even go on an actual date. I realize that these apps are not going anywhere but for me, personally, they just hold zero appeal.

jijitsu-princess · 2022-02-21T19:01:31+00:00

I keep hearing polyamory repeated by men who use these dating apps. It’s because they now think they have multiple options.

These-Ad-5925 · 2022-02-20T13:28:51+00:00

I see online dating as the equivalent to internet trolls, I guess that’s basically the simple answer to this. It gives them the ability to hide behind a screen just as internet troll would 🤷🏽‍♀️. So if they say something out of pocket, that screen basically acts as their defender; they can easily brush off their out of pocket statements as you just misinterpreting the text…potentially just you being crazy. The list goes on. Scrotes will scrote wherever they can !

forestbunny-287 · 2022-02-19T19:54:40+00:00

Deleting my dating app was the best decision I made recently! So much less stress and distraction.

Title	Why do dating apps bring out the worst in men? \| the guardian article
Author	Equal-Ear2312
Upvotes	337
Comments	50
Date	February 19, 2022 5:22 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/swf1fa/why_do_dating_apps_bring_out_the_worst_in_men_the/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/why-do-dating-apps-bring-out-the-worst-in-men-the.1102446 https://theredarchive.com/post/1102446

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