Am I being oversensitive here?

OneTimeUser666 · 2014-08-04T19:39:26+00:00

I’ve been waiting a while to bring this up and I know we’ve had our “fill,” of double standards but I’d like to share something I observed a while back. There was once a day-time commercial in which depicted (it was Aftershave or Men’s Face Scrub or some shit) all the possible things a man’s face would endure over the course of a year. So it was like “during a year your face will encounter (list begins with short skits illustrating each occurrence) 3 surprise parties, 200 shaves, blah blah, and blah (all to show why you need their product). You get it, right? So the last on the list is “and three well deserved slaps.” Depict a slap with a fish (comical), depict a slap with a pancake (still comical), then depicts a “full-on,” slap to the face from the hand of a women (WTF). Normally I wouldn’t care, but I started thinking. What if I had a company which sold Eyeliner and I made a commercial which aired to millions in which one of my selling points was, “after your well-deserved punch to the face, you can cover that shit up!” Then have a skit portraying it exactly. HAHAHA I’d be crucified (and rightfully so) but damn the double standard was thick with that one.

ProfessorCordonnier · 2014-08-04T11:15:20+00:00

Nope!

yoshi_win · 2014-08-04T11:41:13+00:00

Also, check how much of the DV against men is by women (who probably aren't concerned about being "man enough"). I believe it is the majority. And don't forget female on female DV.

thegoodbadandsmoggy · 2014-08-04T11:50:35+00:00

I think you're in the clear op, very well put

Johnny_Walker_Red · 2014-08-04T19:44:58+00:00

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_causes_of_death_by_rate

Men are 2.5 times more likely to die from violence than women, but these things only become issues when it involves women.

In the Western world, men consist of 78% of all fatal suicides. Once again, only becomes an issue when women are involved.

YM_Industries · 2014-08-04T11:25:08+00:00

Green is me, by the way.

EDIT: Constructive criticism very welcome.

EDIT2: I added sources, the text of my comment now reads:

40% of domestic violence is committed against men. Domestic violence is undoubtedly a huge issue that needs to be stopped, but please stop turning it into a gendered issue. The whole "are you man enough to stop domestic violence" thing is why domestic violence against men is so under-reported, because men believe that it's their own fault for not being able to stand up for themselves.

EDIT: I'd best back this up with some sources.

More than 40% of domestic violence victims are male: http://www.theguardian.com/.../men-victims-domestic-violence

95.3% of men who sought help from domestic violence agencies felt that they were anti-male: http://wordpress.clarku.edu/.../Douglas-Hines-2011...

Some statistics on domestic violence gender symmetry over time: http://i.imgur.com/REDMAuN.png

Why gender symmetry is an under-researched area: http://i.imgur.com/0n4tKB2.png

DougDante · 2014-08-04T11:47:10+00:00

Thank you for taking action to support boys and men who are victims of domestic violence and discrimination.

2014-08-04T11:44:36+00:00

No, you are absolutely right.

Koliflower2 · 2014-08-04T19:20:15+00:00

One of the things I could never stand was sitting in high school health class and having to watch videos about domestic/dating violence. For some reason, it always turned into a gendered issue, even if it wasn't specifically stated. I couldn't stand sitting in class and being made the bad guy when I am the most innocent, gentle person in the world. It made me feel like I was doing something wrong, when I never was. It was incredibly infuriating.

Lightfiend · 2014-08-04T16:32:56+00:00

This isn't the first time I've seen some version of, "Man up - and stop perpetuating traditional gender roles."

I guess "man up" is only an appropriate way to shame people into acting a certain way if it fits feminist values.

YM_Industries · 2014-08-05T02:33:08+00:00

[permanently deleted]

shawnnix610 · 2014-08-04T16:05:48+00:00

RainyRat · 2014-08-04T18:22:13+00:00

...I just checked the image again to see if there were any new comments. I am not a smart man.

awwwwyehmutherfurk · 2014-08-04T18:34:46+00:00

I'm going to want a source for that "one woman a week" because I call bullshit. If this is "Brisbane, Australia" then I doubt it so, so much. Our homicide rates are extraordinarily low, especially compared to the US. The ABS (Australian Beauru of Statistics) places homicide in Australia as 1.1:100000 whereas the FBI places the US's as something like 4.4:100000. Keep in mind most homicide victims are of course men.

On the othe hand, that's only 52 a year. Not bad for a country with a pop of 25million. Especially since we loose a few thousand young adults on the roads a year in the state of Queensland alone.

2014-08-04T19:35:30+00:00

The dark secret mentioned in this picture is that domestic violence is gender-blind.

fascism_wonderful · 2014-08-04T20:11:52+00:00

McLovin??

not_just_amwac · 2014-08-04T22:00:15+00:00

OP, I found this yesterday. I think it's exactly what you're looking for:
http://www.oneinthree.com.au/news/2014/8/3/one-in-threes-submission-to-senate-inquiry-into-domestic-vio.html

uuhson · 2014-08-04T15:07:26+00:00

I'm new to this sub and am just trying to better understand the situation here

I'm a male in my early 20s, I've never been involved or interested in either MRA or 3rd wave feminism, if that matters.

anyhoo, It seems this and circumcision are the two main hot button issues here, how many of you guys have been the victim of domestic violence by your spouses?

until reddit, I had no idea women abusing their spouses was such a big issue, so it was much to my surprise that it seems to be one of the most groundbreaking threats to men's rights.

any insight would be much appreciated

McFeely_Smackup · 2014-08-04T16:37:36+00:00

One woman a week dies from an act of domestic violence.

Ok, fair enough. How many men die each week from an act of domestic violence? The first news headline that greeted me this morning was a woman who murdered her husband and tried to make it look like a home invasion.

Is this really a numbers game anyone wants to win? Is it so ridiculous that we should say "domestic violence is wrong" rather than "domestic violence against women is wrong"?

Qix213 · 2014-08-04T17:09:23+00:00

If it was a random post from a random friends, maybe out could be toned down. But not when it's the police shooting things like that. They should know better.

2014-08-04T18:58:31+00:00

No, you are absolutely 100% in line. The only way to be man enough to stop domestic violence is to stop neighbors etc by calling the police. I don't recommend getting involved physically.

seamonkey89 · 2014-08-05T00:06:09+00:00

Nope!

sweetjingle · 2014-08-05T01:26:51+00:00

I think you came out almost as a male equivalent of an edgy feminist, but no, you're right, bro.

cammycam · 2014-08-05T01:35:36+00:00

The position that women are fragile victims and the position that women are free to make their own choices and are "doin it for themselves" are contradictory.

By demanding gender equality in the way domestic violence is handled, we support both mens' rights and hold women to the stance of equals, not the role of forever-victim.

needsmigoreng · 2014-08-05T11:12:41+00:00

I realise that I'm late to the party here, but I felt the need to make a comment. As a man, I've been on the receiving end of domestic violence, in my case perpetrated by a woman. The shame I felt as a man at not being able to defend myself, or be taken seriously by those I reported it to, literally still affects me to this day. So it's an issue I feel pretty passionate about.

So, I want to make a suggestion, which due to my late arrival will probably be ignored, but I'll make it none the less. Someone make a Facebook Page for r/MensRights. So stuff like this can be linked straight to it, and we can all voice our combined disapproval publicly, on these things when they're posted. Maybe we can at least use our combined numbers to stem the commonality of this crap. If that post on their page was about stopping ALL domestic violence, I'd be the first to support it. But as OP says, making it a gender issue and ignoring the plight of male victims is disgusting.

Oh, and I don't know if this was already mentioned or not, but I went to the page in question, and either OP or the NSW Police have removed the comment. Just thought that was worth mentioning.

YM_Industries · 2014-08-05T21:42:17+00:00

Just testing something for nicemod, ignore this comment.

http://www.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/2ckt4n/am_i_being_oversensitive_here/cjgg6l8

AwfulAnswersAnon · 2014-08-04T13:36:32+00:00

In most cases if you have to ask the question then you are oversensitive. Not in this case though I think you pretty well nailed it.

ZachT5555 · 2014-08-04T14:45:04+00:00

RezJent · 2014-08-04T21:27:55+00:00

If I could give this post 7 million upvotes, I would

AmericanCockroach · 2014-08-04T23:52:32+00:00

You don't need a source for common senses. Men are more likely to hit women because they are physically stronger, yes, but it's always a possibility that some bitch was raised as the only child and likes to hit on her man for whatever reason she thinks is okay. It's the same for some fucking asshole who likes beating down on women because he's a drunk.

It all boils down to temper control. Some people just don't have it. Men don't worry about being beaten up so they take advantage of the privilege.

Should we genderize DV? Absolutely fucking not. It just wouldn't be fair. But again, more men are hitting women than women hitting men and that's just common senses because of what biology entails us.

Just don't fucking hit people unless your life's in danger and don't say it's a men's only issue, it neglects the bigger issue of DV.

ThePigmanAgain · 2014-08-05T00:04:43+00:00

Man enough? Does he even shave yet? What's the old saying, "Give me the boy and i will give you the man?" Brainwash them when they're young and you have a Manslug for life.

patcomen · 2014-08-05T00:30:42+00:00

Realistic.

masterrod · 2014-08-05T02:06:58+00:00

I think so.. Man enough meaning be man enough not to hit a woman. Rather it's not manly to hit a woman. And incidentally, some men feel that they must beat their woman to be a man.

You might want to make your own sign, but this guy is concerned about women.

amkftb · 2014-08-05T02:25:04+00:00

Ok not overly sensitive.

But the reason DV has been focused on men is the fact that male on female DV is often more violent. Through the ages the male has also had a different grip on womens lives, being providers.

I speak for me, I don't care who is pounding on whom, I just stop it if I can. Alot of women I know are like that.

Also just something to think about. Is it possible that the reason the focus is on men as attackers is because men who do come forwards as abused spouses get publicly ridiculed ?

Nomenimion · 2014-08-05T06:06:03+00:00

I think the real number is more than 40%. This is not to say that the injuries suffered by the male victims would be as bad (due to women's lesser strength), but the real damage is done when the legal system gets involved. No matter what, he's the one going to jail.

time_traveller_ · 2014-08-05T09:42:53+00:00

Not at all, imagine if they said "Are you white enough to stop hate crimes?"

intensely_human · 2014-08-05T15:26:44+00:00

Yes you're being oversensitive. I suggest you go back to high school and get beat up on a regular basis for many years. That will give you a nice thick armor of trauma so you can just stoically watch people do bad things without stepping in to help.

I mean look at you, you're practically falling apart at the seams with sensitivity. Fucking man up and beat yourself with a rubber hose for a few weeks to thicken up your skin. Oh, and if you're not circumcised yet please use some scissors and finish the job. One of the primary sources of being too sensitive is having fully-functional erogenous zones. That shit's gotta go.

Man up asshole. Those other men are not your concern. /s

wogi · 2014-08-04T19:08:15+00:00

Yes you are.

You share a common goal, stop domestic violence. And posts like the guy you responded to us just pandering. It's not actually effective at stopping anything. So being offended by it is like being offended at the direction the wind is blowing.

S73v · 2014-08-04T11:34:00+00:00

That poster is part of a campaign to specifically stop violence against women. It was created by men and targeted towards men. The purpose of the white ribbon campaign is to encourage males to speak out against all forms of violence against women.

jtreezy · 2014-08-04T15:58:16+00:00

Most people posting on /r/mensrights are being overly sensitive.

rbrockway · 2014-08-04T12:08:33+00:00

Is that young man trying to gender shame the viewer with his sign?

Yes I know he is probably just a pawn who was forced in to this. His consent was not needed nor sought.

YM_Industries · 2014-08-05T02:10:30+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Title	Am I being oversensitive here?
Author	YM_Industries
Upvotes	897
Comments	198
Date	August 4, 2014 10:38 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/2ckt4n/am_i_being_oversensitive_here/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/am-i-being-oversensitive-here.997320 https://theredarchive.com/post/997320

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