Did i do anything wrong?

EvilPundit · 2012-10-31T19:11:37+00:00

The only thing you did wrong was to offer her your spot in the line, instead of reprimanding her for her rudeness and sense of entitlement.

fire_breathing_bear · 2012-10-31T20:20:41+00:00

I've had something similar to this happen. Leaving a restaurant, girlfriend gets to door first, holds it open for me. Lady standing outside sighs heavily and says to her friend "its sad that there's no gentlemen around anymore" and stares right at me. Without missing a beat I calmly respond "I treat her the same as I would treat a man, you can thank feminism for that" and we carried on. Got in the car and girlfriend high fives me. She really is my best friend.

mythin · 2012-10-31T19:38:54+00:00

You did nothing wrong. Not only was she wrong, but the man who reprimanded you was also wrong. The idea here is that she is a woman, and you are a man, and therefore she is worth more than you. These people don't even realize that's how they're thinking.

ceranna · 2012-10-31T19:46:05+00:00

She was rude. You were polite. Isn't it common practice to let the person with the less items in first? Plus if she were in a "rush" or whatever, she could've have just said "I'm so sorry, but I'm late for blah. Do you mind terribly if I go in front of you?", not be all bitchy about it.

ustael · 2012-10-31T22:23:30+00:00

Screw that. You owe her nothing. Plus, Chivalry is a gift, not a right.

Bartab · 2012-10-31T20:00:28+00:00

Yes, you did something wrong.

Woman: "Still. A real gentleman would have waited for me."

me: "Perhaps." <start humming>

alternatively, "That's ok, I'm not a gentleman". Which is a line I'm using more and more.

Lyonette · 2012-10-31T20:06:46+00:00

No, of course you didn't. She easily could have asked, "I know I have more items than you but I am in a big hurry because ___, would you mind if I go ahead of you?" It'd take the same amount of gumption but would be much less rude. (And surely it's not just me - I hate seeing a grown adult speed around to a line or parking spot like a little child running to be first in the lunch line at school.)

thepunismightier · 2012-10-31T22:11:37+00:00

You shopped at Walmart.

fire_breathing_bear · 2012-10-31T22:20:16+00:00

Woman: "Still. A real gentleman would have waited for me."

"A real lady wouldn't have such a blatant sense of entitlement."

Then go about your day.

herbandmargie · 2012-10-31T20:00:26+00:00

Why can't someone say this shit to me once in a while? I'd love to give an ass chewing in public. Oh well.

wrez · 2012-10-31T22:39:49+00:00

The ideas of chivalry and basic politeness do not extend to being taken advantage.

She sounds rather entitled & haughty.

Pharmakoza · 2012-10-31T19:42:47+00:00

Entitlement. White knight.

Gingor · 2012-10-31T23:20:07+00:00

My general rule: Be nice and helpful to all people, except the ones that take it for granted. Fuck those entitled assholes.

Jesus_marley · 2012-11-01T00:17:44+00:00

This is how it would have gone down with me...

Woman: "Didn't you see me rushing?"

Me: "Yes."

Woman: "Still. A real gentleman would have waited for me."

Me: "You're an adult. Waiting in line for 2 extra minutes won't kill you."

Woman: "Waiting wouldn't kill you either."

Me: "Probably not. Have a good day."

2012-10-31T20:44:32+00:00

Nope. She was rude, plain and simple. I would have told the man that stopped you to go fuck himself.

OperatorMike · 2012-10-31T20:48:47+00:00

Tell her to go fuck herself

blueoak9 · 2012-10-31T21:38:32+00:00

"Woman: "Still. A real gentleman would have waited for me."

A real lady would never say something like this.

"Everyone gives me dirty looks as i check out, and one man even stops me as i'm pulling out of the parking lot to say i should have let her get in front of me. I still don't believe i did anything wrong."

You did nothing wrong. They were wromng and when they made faces at you or stopped you to berate you, they did wrong. They were sexist pigs, all of them.

2012-10-31T22:06:41+00:00

You didn't do shit wrong. It's 2012; social norms are different. If she doesn't like it she should take it up with 2nd and 3rd wave feminists [especially the third wave, who still "like" chivalry, from the men they deem worthy.]

Let whomever you deem worthy in front of you [or don't.]

ENTP · 2012-11-01T02:21:34+00:00

Enjoy your male "privilege"

The only line you get to be pushed to the front of is in some bloody war.

TracyMorganFreeman · 2012-10-31T22:24:06+00:00

"I'm not going to apologize for treating you like everybody else-an equal-but you're free to be offended by being treated like an adult."

MyPetEwok · 2012-10-31T23:37:02+00:00

Something like that happened. I'm walking out of Forever 21 with my girlfriend and this lesbian/bisexual couple walks in front of us. As I tried to move over to avoid running in to them i bump shoulders with one and it seemed rough. I apologized but she yells "Watch out where you're fucking going" All the girls waiting in line and working the registers stop and give me dirty angry looks as if i meant to do it. Bullshit I scooted over and apologized but somehow it's my fault

ThePigman · 2012-11-01T01:05:30+00:00

"Still. A real gentleman would have waited for me."

"Yeah, and a real lady would wait her turn."

As for the man in the parking lot, you should have told him not to be such a servile, cringing jackass.

actanonverba8 · 2012-11-01T02:17:06+00:00

She was completely in the wrong. If it had been me (a man) would you have kissed my arse? No. Would the women and brainwashed men present have taken my side? Absolutely not.

You absolutely did not do anything wrong. I would recommend not offering to let her go first just because she pouts (that's enabling her and disrespectful to yourself). But, in any case, you did nothing wrong. She did due to her misandry and sense of entitlement.

2012-10-31T23:47:47+00:00

If a man offers me a place in line, or holds a door open for me, I thank him and step forward. But never once have I gotten angry that a man treated me like anyone else. That woman and the people in the store were being ridiculous, in my opinion.

ELTepes · 2012-10-31T21:57:23+00:00

You handled it a lot different than I did. Nearly the same thing happened to me and I mostly ignored her until the woman tried to get the cashier to check her out first instead of me. I decided to go ahead and make a bigger scene than she did. Never cared that everyone was looking. If you act like a bitch you're going to get treated like one.

As far a the guy that stopped you, tell him to fuck off. You don't owe anyone anything and if someone tries to harass you about it they're worse than the bitch in the store.

DavidByron · 2012-10-31T22:22:02+00:00

If she was in a hurry I wonder why she didn't just ask if you would please let her go ahead? Not that your one item was likely to hold her up much. Instead she started an argument with you.

Yes I'd say it was a case of a female chauvinist pig trying to pull privilege on you.

cthulufunk · 2012-11-01T01:49:58+00:00

No, you were right. She isnt the center of the fvcking universe, and it's people that REINFORCE that sort of behavior who are the real problem.

2012-11-01T01:32:05+00:00

No, you didn't, call everyone sexist for not supporting equality for women.

Geohump · 2012-11-01T03:57:55+00:00

you did nothing wrong. In order to have every one be treated equally, a person's gender should not have been any part of the considered points.

She clearly expected special treatment because of her gender. She is not a feminist, she's just an asshole.

Imthere · 2012-11-01T08:31:18+00:00

You should have told her "I'm a feminist. I believe in equality. You can take your turn, just like everyone else"

LoveAndCorpses · 2012-11-01T14:58:20+00:00

Hi. Female here. Not sure if us ovary-endowed citizens are entirely the intended target audience for this subreddit, but I had to comment here because frankly, your story irritated me.

No. You did not do ANYTHING wrong. At all. This woman is rude and honestly I would think no more about it. You conducted yourself in a decent manner and she made an impolite exhibition of herself. Why am I irritated? Because stories like this, and like others in the comments here always annoy me. I would describe myself as a feminist. I also think that a lot of people who describe themselves as feminists misunderstand the term, and have sullied it somewhat. It's about equality, not being better-than or more-important-than. I am a feminist because I would like to be treated with respect, the same respect that I afford to others regardless of gender. I do not require special treatment because I have a vagina. That is what feminism means to me. Equal treatment regardless of genitalia. So women expecting to be treated 'like a lady', or criticising men for not being 'gentlemen' are dragging down all females who consider themselves to be perfectly capable of opening a door, pulling out a chair, or changing a tyre.

I think that concludes my two cents for now... =) Just know that there are women who disapprove of this sort of behavior just as much as you guys (rightly) do!

rightsbot · 2012-10-31T19:10:19+00:00

Post text automatically copied here. (Why?) (Report a problem.)

mrdeadeye · 2012-11-01T02:50:20+00:00

Fuck Her

thelittleemperor · 2012-11-01T03:44:20+00:00

"A real lady would have ..."

HERE_HAVE_SOME_AIDS · 2012-11-01T04:44:52+00:00

Unless you visibly hurried to beat her in line - still fair play - I'd say she was completely and totally out of line (har har). As for that guy in the parking lot, I'd have told him to mind his business.

rebuildingMyself · 2012-11-01T09:35:08+00:00

"I only have one item." (She had 6 or 7 items)

Honestly, the mistake happened here. What you did is go on the defensive and assumed the frame that it's okay to let her go in some non-emergancy instances. No. The idea is that you shouldn't have to move out of her way at all. It's your choice and yours alone.

I would have made her explain why she should cut me. If it's not an emergency (being late from lunch break doesn't count), then I'd say tough shit. It's one thign to politely ask "Please, sir, I am in a big rush. Do you mind if I get in front of you?" It's another thing to act fucking entitled to it just because of your genitalia. As for the idiot guy talking to you, just ignore the white knight nice-guy. As soon as he started talking about the scene I would have just kept going. Not even acknowledging his pathetic beta existence.

me: "Alright. Go ahead." I motion for her to get in front.

Woman: "Never mind. It's fine."

Ah my favorite trick of the victim-junky. She found a perfectly good story to tell her harpie sistas about later on and she'll be damned if she lets you ruin it by attempting to fix the situation. Had she taken your offer to go ahead, that would have turned her into a whiny bitch and that's just not a good story is it. $20 says that anytime she tells this story this part is ignored.

Reminds me of my grandma (RIP, granny. I love you but this story still pisses me off to this day). She wanted me to mow the lawn right now. I asked if it could wait 15 minutes until a show was finished. She said NO! and immediately went out to mow the lawn herself. I, of course, ran outside to say "okay I'll do it." And she refused to let me do it. Later on, she tells my parents how rude I was and how she had to mow the lawn herself.

2012-11-01T03:28:02+00:00

Jesus christ, are the cities that some of you are from still stuck on the 20's? Was it an old guy who said that to you?

bluesbt · 2012-11-01T08:03:44+00:00

I skimmed the comments and I didn't see this, but if someone else posted it please let me know.

I will also use this if someone calls me out on something this isn't wrong at all.

random biped: "Well bluesbt, you aren't a gentleman" me: "I know. I'm a real man."

I think manly man would also work in this case.

Crazyjanda · 2012-11-01T09:32:01+00:00

The real thing to do here is when she goes "Still. A real gentleman would have waited for me."

You should go : " A real gentleman would but I am not that " real "" and of corse stay in line as it is yours.

As other have pointed out we have to be " rude " in order for some women to understand that it is not a god given right to be before man, but it is the right that is earned by doing what is right. And the bad looks should not worry you, because if other can see what is right it is their problem and none of your time should be spent upon it.

Theophagist · 2012-11-01T10:11:52+00:00

A real gentleman would have waited for me.

"Madame, as a real gentleman I always put a real lady before myself." Then keep your spot in front of her in line.

erenthia · 2012-11-01T14:03:09+00:00

The best part is how instead of taking the spot in line she chooses to passive-aggressively punish you. The goal here seems to be to reinforce your second-class citizenship status so the next woman you meet won't have to deal with you thinking of yourself as an equal.

And it looks like it half-way worked.

HornsandaHalo · 2012-11-01T14:46:45+00:00

Regardless male or female... doesnt everyone usually let that random person with 1 item through first. Thats usually how it goes down for me regardless which side of the two im on.

Edit: OP is also in no way in the wrong. People like the ones he encountered are over dramatic.

SilencingNarrative · 2012-11-01T15:03:34+00:00

Great job refusing to sit in the back of the bus. It takes awareness to buck the system. I think you handled it very well. I am debating whether you should have responded to her with something like "Why is your time more important than mine?" and perhaps not offered to let her go ahead. I am leaning toward your solution. You could find yourself being surrounded by a wall of people really pissed at you in a heartbeat.

As for the guy in the parking lot, did he say anything more than,"You should have let her go ahead."? If not, you might have responded with,"She is an adult woman, why can't she wait in line like everyone else? I refuse to treat adult women like children."

Swift3lade · 2012-11-01T15:46:14+00:00

I don't get it. She was GOING to the spot, but so were you. You got there first and she's all upset about it?

A real gentleman. Pffft. Manipulative!

steelheader · 2012-11-01T17:34:15+00:00

I had some old cunt do the exact same to me with a bank machine. Her husband had pulled up and she was slow getting out of the car and was talking to him the whole time. While she was doing this, I sauntered up to the ATM and started my transaction. She had the gall to tell me that she was there first and I was a rude young man. I told her to park her car in a spot first and not be so lazy. Second, I was at the machine first you decrepit old twat. She proceeded to start yelling and gramps was getting out of his car to come teach me, "a young buck" a lesson. I told him that I had no qualms about laying him out if he even approached me. The two of them glared at me until I was done my transaction. I told them to go fuck themselves and enjoy dying in their sleep soon. Old entitled people are bad, old entitled women are the worst! I would have gladly waited if I had seen that she was to reach the ATM before I did. I was in no rush. I would have actually let her go first if she were polite about it. But as soon as I hear any entitlement attitude, I shut that shit down right away.

2012-11-01T17:36:22+00:00

In situations like that is tempting to feel like "everyone is giving me dirty looks!" But you don't really know what they are thinking. Plenty of them probably just don't like that people are getting into an unpleasant argument nearby, and don't give a fuck who is right. So for your own mental health just try to assume they are all giving her dirty looks. After all, she is the one who started it.

I'm not a man, but if I were in that situation, when she started with the "a real gentleman..." I would have just mentally checked out at that moment, just turn around and pretend she does not exist, people like her are not interested in acting/treating others like human beings, and need to not exist in my world.

It's all about "inner game"! Be confident in your decisions. Hater's gonna hate, just ignore them.

ARedditorCalledQuest · 2012-11-01T18:01:22+00:00

"Ma'am, you do realize that taking the time to have this conversation has practically doubled your wait time, right?"

kempff · 2012-10-31T19:30:46+00:00

Rushing? She probably wasted more time driving around the parking lot looking for the perfect parking space than she saved trotting to the head of the line.

Omnominable · 2012-11-01T04:08:47+00:00

Where do you live that this happens?

2012-11-01T06:46:28+00:00

You didn't do anything wrong. Despite what many people in society believe to be true, being a women doesn't grant you the right to have your cake an eat it too.

srasmus4 · 2012-11-01T07:07:24+00:00

Man I love these posts that are questions about real life situations where all the OP really wants is a bunch of people he already knows he agrees with telling him he was right. If you honestly wanted to discuss a situation why take it to a board that obviously is going to side with you.

buster2209 · 2012-11-01T12:24:22+00:00

Woman: "Still. A real gentleman would have waited for me."

you: "A real woman wouldn't have such a sense of entitlement she'd be rude to a complete stranger"

You then should have flashed her a shit eating grin and turned your back to her.

tarpdetarp · 2012-11-01T13:17:11+00:00

"A real lady doesn't rush."

Amunium · 2012-11-02T13:18:25+00:00

"A real gentleman would have waited"

Okay. A real horse would have whinnied. What the fuck does that have to do with anything?

Where do these people get off more or less commanding people to be certain things? I have no interest in being a "gentleman" by any definition I've ever heard.

2012-11-01T08:47:08+00:00

I intentionally pull doors shut on women behind me and pause before opening any doors when women are in front of me coming the opposite way so they may have the equal opportunity to open it for me.

Every time I get yelled at, I instantly stop and look at them, and in a loud and firm voice say something to the effect of, "why do women feel entitled to sexist inequity when it benefits you, then demand total equality when it doesnt ?

Sometimes I'll be a smart ass and say I would never presume a woman cant hold her own door - how sexist!

When accused of not being a gentleman, I completely agree with them and ask them what makes them believe it should be otherwise.

It always ends the same way - some bitch huffing off because she has no rational argument.

There have been a couple tense times with chivalrous white knight mangina's, but they calm down when you mention calling the police or talking to them and explaining what it is you are trying to accomplish. Also helps carrying around business cards with mens rights links printed on them, to pass around.

Just stop doing anything for them. Explain why, and tell them how they can help.

Redebidet · 2012-10-31T23:22:21+00:00

You did nothing wrong. That guy at the end is a Mangina.

LittleRedHeadedLady · 2012-11-01T02:31:04+00:00

The proper and human thing to do would be to let her go ahead of you. That's what any human should have done. I would guess the man called you out on it because the way you went about it looked really bad. I mean you're getting in line for crap you can buy at Walmart, you aren't buying a new lung or something.

That's not to say the woman was deserving of nice treatment since she obviously felt like others owed her something. She would be rude without a doubt, you don't demand such things from others.

2012-11-01T00:51:42+00:00

Fuck that fuck her and fuck that other dude. Should've belted him in the fuckin' mouth. You're equals ladies, that means you are treated as equally shitty as I treat men. So fuck off and get back to your spot in line.

Title	Did i do anything wrong?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	104
Comments	128
Date	October 31, 2012 7:09 PM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/12ewcv/did_i_do_anything_wrong/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/did-i-do-anything-wrong.1010168 https://theredarchive.com/post/1010168

Comments