Toxic masculinity

trprep · 2020-02-18T18:42:20+00:00

Proud of this guy, but the author really doesn't understand teenage boys. The fact that she felt the need to present her fear as if it were a valid response and not recognize that this "toxic" kind of behavior is just a standard way boys have fun that is not actually negative. I doubt the friends genuinely made fun of the kid too, it's like she just felt the need to still unfairly attack the boys after one of them showed her daughter care.

Anyways, definitely a positive message overall, I just wish teenage boys weren't seen as threatening simply for ribbing each other and being naturally rebellious.

we_kill_creativity · 2020-02-18T18:40:07+00:00

The amount of assumptions that woman made about "boys" leading up to that is astonishing. Has she never been around men before? It seems like she actually expected them to say "Boys rule, girls drool!" and stick their tongue out at her.

2020-02-18T17:41:10+00:00

https://www.cambridgetimes.ca/news-story/5971913-cambridge-skateboarder-with-a-big-heart-sets-off-viral-frenzy/

McFeely_Smackup · 2020-02-18T19:10:58+00:00

my city recently built a new skate park that I drive by every day. I'm not a skater myself, but when I look at the park I see a hell of a melting pot of demographics. everything from 50+ old skater dudes, to very young kids obviously learning, boys, girls, black, white, Indian...it seems like it's a very welcoming community.

Ruben_Samich · 2020-02-18T20:07:48+00:00

Good story but the mom is a pretty sexist...

Aqedah · 2020-02-18T18:37:53+00:00

Yeah... didn't really find the whole 'well I expected them to be ass-holes' very pleasant. Especially when she said 'I thought I would have to put on my mom voice and tell you off'... Why does she think it's okay to approach people like that? You are just seeking a fight.

Would be a nice story if wasn't for the prejudgemental bitch.

LateNightTestPattern · 2020-02-18T19:25:59+00:00

The teenage boy was great!

The mom in this letter....not so much.

"I don't want her to have to feel scared of anyone."

WHAT??

That "feeling" is what kept most of us alive when I was a kid. Not THAT long ago.

Absolving your kids from that feeling is deliberately taking one more tool from their belt.

jonathan__73 · 2020-02-18T17:56:20+00:00

Wow, that was such a wholesome story

MotherAce · 2020-02-18T19:48:58+00:00

this exchange reminds me of those old-timey stories about life-long racists who befriend someone which they discriminate against most their life, only to realize they are human too. Realising you've been an asshole too late in life, doesn't warrant absolute absolution.

Not sure we fully pardoned former KKK-members for this, so I'm kinda iffy about being all too nice towards this lady for her eureka moment. Too little, too late.

Duchat · 2020-02-18T20:54:24+00:00

Here is the 2020 version of that story. Pro skater gives his old gear to kids

empatheticapathetic · 2020-02-18T20:00:03+00:00

Why would she even need to assume fear in the first place? She wants them boys to be assholes.

bakedpotato486 · 2020-02-18T23:08:45+00:00

She walked in with a stereotype in her head, spoiling for a fight.

And when there was behaviour that busted the stereotype, instead of just admitting it was a stereotype, she decided that the one lone kid that took his daughter under his wing was an exception, but the rest of the kids at the park still fit the stereotype.

Sigh ... how can you win with this mindset, where every single boy has to prove to her that he's not some asshole for her to stop walking around, thinking teenage boys are assholes?

p3ngwin · 2020-02-19T04:37:03+00:00

Dear teenage boy at skate park: You're probably about fifteen years old, so i don't expect you to be very mature or for you to want a little girl on your skate ramp for that matter.

Wow, you really can't even hold back from the start with the sexism and prejudice eh ?

They're fifteen, and that somehow makes them "immature" and can't "accept" a girl at the park ? You even presume they think of the park as "theirs", as opposed to them neutrally enjoying a public park like everyone else would. These aren't criminal gangs on home turf, they're fifteen year olds skating, at the park where they should be doing that.

What you don't know is that my daughter has been wanting to skateboard for months.

So what? Why do they need to "know" anything about your daughter? YOU are the parent, it's YOUR job to be the guardian and satisfy her mental, and physical, needs, the rest of the world isn't obliged to consider parenting duties to your daughter. Clearly you want to world to coddle your daughter the way you feel she should be, and you think "it takes a village to raise a child" as you irresponsibly expect other people to do your role as a parent.

So when we walked up to the park and saw that it was full of teenage boys who were smoking and swearing she immediately wanted to turn around and go home.

Yes, it's a PUBLIC place, where people are allowed to smoke and swear,a place you have no entitlement at all to how you feel the place should be enjoyed. I'm sure you wouldn't have written this if there were girls also skating and smoking, but here you are happy to rant about toxic boys and their behavior right ?

You're the type of adult who tells people they can't record video in public because "i didn't give you permission". Well that would be right, because you HAVE no permission, you have no authority to give or take away from others. Other people don't "need permission" because it's already given in the first place by default, in the form of the right to record in public places.

The same goes for smoking in public, and swearing, you don't have to "put on your mom voice" because you don't have any authority to tell other people how to enjoy the freedoms of a public place. You certainly don't have any right to demand everyone in public artificially restricts their freedoms to a lowest common denominator that you decide is acceptable for your child.

These aren't teenagers smoking and swearing in a McDonalds kids crèche, they're in a public skate park that was designed for them to enjoy.

'Censorship is telling a man he can't have a steak just because a baby can't chew it.' - Mark Twain

I secretly wanted to go home too because i didn't want to have to put on my mom voice and exchange words with you.

Oh fuck off !

There's that entitlement again, you dislike the way the public enjoys the park and you feel you have the authority, "as a mom..." to condescend the teenage boys that they aren't "welcoming" your little girl as you feel they should ?

i also didn't want my daughter to feel like she had to be scared of anyone, or that she wasn't entitled to that skate park just as much as you were.

A privilege is given, and entitlement is earned. You're not entitled, you're privileged, just like the other people there.

So when she said 'Mom it's full of older boys' i calmly said 'So what, they don't own the skate park'.

Again, here you reveal yourself to be prejudice, and sexist, in how you presume how the other people at the park think and feel. You're projecting your own fears onto your child, and creating a situation that didn't exist. What you should do as a parent is tell her the reality of the fact that many skaters are boys, but that it's irrelevant, and doesn't mean girls can't skate, or enjoy skate parks with them.

It's a shame you tried to reinforce your own prejudice, and sexism, instead of educating your child on the realities of gender preferences, such as skaters being mostly boys, just like many hospital nurses are female, etc and that even if true it's doesn't have any relation to an individual gender choosing to to be anything. But no, you told your child the boys feel "entitled" to the park and gave your child artificial fear, perpetuating your own insecurities on a child that had none.

She proceeded to go down the ramp in spite of you and your friends flying past her and grinding rails beside her.

Ah the boys did things to "spite" her eh ? Or, maybe they were using the park as it was intended, and again, you have no right to tell other people how to enjoy public spaces. They are under no obligation to help you parent your child, that's YOUR job. Would you take your child a swimming pool, and complain there's a "deep end" that people shouldn't enjoy because it might scare your child? Or is it YOUR job to monitor your child and take them to areas, even within larger areas, that are safe for your child ?

The other skaters are not obliged to stop jumping, and grinding, just because you dislike it, in the same way you don't get to ask people to stop smoking, and swearing, in public spaces.

Again, it's not the role of other people to raise your child, so YOU have to make sure they are safe, and only experience the appropriate for them in public spaces.

She only had two or three runs in before you approached her and said "Hey, excuse me...." i immediately prepared to deliver my "She's allowed to use this park just as much as you guys speech" speech ...

There's that fear, sexism, prejudice just dying to burst out so you can validate your "mommy authority" complex.

You proceeded to spend almost an hour with my daughter showing her how to balance and steer, and she listened to you, a feat no attained by most adults!

Here you admit how much of a bad parent you are, when a teenager outclassed you, because you would rather instill sexism, prejudice, and fear, into your child, yet a teenager did what you couldn't.

...I even heard you tell her to stay away from the rails so that she wouldn't get hurt.

Yes, because again this teenager is showing how to raise your child better than you, by telling the child which parts of the public park as safe for her to enjoy. In the same way only an entitled moron expects people not use the deep-end of the swimming pool while their kid is there, and it certainly should embarrass you to watch a teenager for a moment raising your child as you should have.

Unfortunately, i doubt you learned any introspection in that moment about your own individual sexism, and prejudice, let alone your failure as a parent.

I want you to know that i am proud that you are part of the community...

Yep, there's that "it takes a village to raise a child" mentality again.

It's nobody else' responsibility to raise your child, or lower their freedoms to levels that satisfy your needs in public places. It's your responsibility as a parent, or guardian, to accompany your child in public places, until they learn enough to not need supervision, so they can roam the world freely without you.

Other people in public spaces are not responsible for your child.

She left with a sense of pride and with the confidence that she can do anything, because of you.

Your daughter didn't enjoy the park, with a "sense of pride, and confidence" because of that teenager, she got all that despite your failings.

It wasn't the boy that broke out of a boundary that needed breaking, it was you who broke out of your presumptive, sexist, prejudice, allowing your child to benefit from the public benefits already available to her.

WifiKeyHolder · 2020-02-18T21:55:32+00:00

Male worth is not defined by what we can do for girls.

neverXmiss · 2020-02-18T18:58:11+00:00

Clear case of mansplaining I think. /s

NecroHexr · 2020-02-19T01:35:07+00:00

guys dont do this because its so easy to be accused of being a pedo

2020-02-18T21:18:14+00:00

Thats adorable, I like teenagers work with younger kids of the opposite gender work in doing things they would otherwise feel out of place doing. This is so sweet

Retrovex · 2020-02-19T05:20:01+00:00

The skate community that society never sees. I really hate it. We get treated like absolute scum bags half the time when we're just trying to have a good time. I don't know how many kids I've taught how to skate but its something I love. While I'm not the best I'll do my part to keep the scene alive. I give complete boards to kids I feel are going to get out and ride them. When we skate a neighborhood, we wave to everyone, talk to the locals, yes they call the police on is sometimes but even the cops are chill with us. I'm glad the negative stigma with skaters is going away but there's still those people that hate us.

paleta62 · 2020-02-18T18:41:07+00:00

I also like how the mom didn't bitch about the boys that were doing their things. I can't see how this is related to mensrights but it's a nice story nonetheless

Sunset_Paradise · 2020-02-18T20:05:26+00:00

Sometimes men do bad things. But there are a LOT of men and boys out there doing good things and just being all around wonderful people and we need to give them the credit they deserve.

Men like my babysitter who took me out for dessert to make me feel better when I missed my mom and dad.

Like the family friend who spent 2 hours in Los Angeles traffic to bring me flowers at my school play when he learned my own parents weren't able to make it.

Like my male friend in college who always made sure me and my girl friends got home safe.

Like my cousin who has spent most of his life serving in the military to keep us safe and free.

Like my father who spent countless late nights helping me with homework when I was struggling in school.

And boys like my son who is one of the tallest, strongest kids in his class and uses his strength to protect and help the smaller, younger kids.

armed_renegade · 2020-02-18T21:38:24+00:00

Yeah the toxic part here is the preconception she went in with to begin with.

Dr_E_Knievel · 2020-02-18T23:20:36+00:00

Perhaps if she repeats this experiment a couple more times she will realize the person with the issue is the one looking back at her in the mirror.

acutepresence · 2020-02-19T00:24:51+00:00

Brave of him to approach a child like that at all

NakedValhallaBoyy · 2020-02-19T03:12:30+00:00

I like that she saw the light, but the way she treats the guys just for being there is so stupid. Boys aren't chasing girls out of skate parks, they aren't acting entitled just because they're hanging out there and skating. It's not their job to get out of the way and make extra room just because a little girl shows up. It's also not their responsibility to stop swearing. It's not even their responsibility to stop skating or grinding just because she is around. Otherwise, they'd literally never get to do anything because some little girl apparently IS more entitled to it than them.

Jesus_marley · 2020-02-18T20:59:33+00:00

"I assumed you were a troublemaker until you proved your worth to me by taking on a responsibility that wasn't yours."

PhilNEvo · 2020-02-18T21:41:46+00:00

look at that guy mansplaining shit!

Washys_finest · 2020-02-18T19:23:14+00:00

Probs was grooming her. Cos we all know men are rapists by default /s

Braggle · 2020-02-18T23:00:59+00:00

So they went in expecting poor behaviour because of how they looked? Who has prejudices now, Rebecca.

ColomarOlivia · 2020-02-18T20:02:11+00:00

r/menaregood

youhavebeenwobbled · 2020-02-18T21:12:47+00:00

I was not expecting that from tumblr

tilfordkage · 2020-02-18T21:15:26+00:00

Wholesome as hell

JestyerAverageJoe · 2020-02-18T21:34:48+00:00

I'd be more impressed if she apologized for pre judging those kids.

TracyMorganFreeman · 2020-02-18T22:53:46+00:00

Wait so she had to convince her, but she had been waiting for months?

samuelloganandrews · 2020-02-18T23:11:48+00:00

Disgusting. I hope they catch the guy that did this 😡😤😤😤

TheGirlInYourCloset · 2020-02-19T04:19:24+00:00

What the fuck is the point she's trying to make, other than she's a massive cunt?

TheJollyDabber · 2020-02-18T19:35:29+00:00

But all skate parks are under the protection of the He-man Women Hater Club. She was lucky to be able to set foot in the park without being arrested.

retardedwhiteknight · 2020-02-18T21:12:41+00:00

im pretty sure this woman never saw a boy in her life lmao

Hamburger-Queefs · 2020-02-18T20:02:51+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Gatesofvalhalla · 2020-02-19T07:12:59+00:00

same post in a femnist thread: sToP mAnSpLaInInG

jinladen040 · 2020-02-18T19:16:48+00:00

😢

thejohnfist · 2020-02-18T20:06:44+00:00

I don't typically like skater kids, but this kid deserves a lot more praise than the internet has to give.

melonangie · 2020-02-18T20:23:11+00:00

Sheesh this lady never spoke with boys before? Boys are the sweetest

NotSoupGuy · 2020-02-18T20:35:09+00:00

Glad some people finally realize that not every teenage boy is just a bully/rapist. Us men can be just as nice, if not nicer than many women.

blastashes · 2020-02-18T21:08:07+00:00

Can confirm not all skate park kids are douchebags. I lived in an apartment building near one and there was a baseball park/field right next to it and they almost always had some music playing at the skate park but rarely loudly.

I saw this mom having her kids birthday party with like 15 little kids at the field and only one grandpa there and a couple other moms, no dads around but two did show up later, and she had a bouncy castle going. Some big wind picked up and the whole thing blew sideways and started bouncing down the field with 3 little girls in it.

I heard a bunch of screaming and came to the window to see what was up.

All of the sudden like 8 15-20 year old guys ran from the skate park after it to stop it from going further along with the moms and helped bring it back and get the girls out. Then someone got rope from their truck and came back and tied it to the big baseball fence thing.

Sure, you can go to your local skate park and find a bunch of fucking idiots that are smoking and drinking and don’t give a shit.

You can also go to your local skate park and find some nice guys having fun.

The same goes with women, I can walk into a beauty salon to get my hair cut and be greeted by 3 nice women and a young girl at the register asking me what I’m in for.

And I can walk into another salon and be asked to leave because it’s not for men or told there isn’t any availability even though there’s two hairdresser women standing around in the back shooting the shit with each other and nobody in the store.

So tired of this “All men want to rape me and are toxic” cancer.

Literally can’t even understand that, there’s probably a 999/1000 women rate that when I see 1,000 women I’d only actually wanna fuck 1 of them. And not rape either. Yeah I’m extremely picky and that’s just me but I don’t think about 99.9% of the women I walk past and not just sexually, I don’t think about them at all, they are just other people on the planet.........

majoradajr · 2020-02-18T22:19:44+00:00

I thought she was about to call him a pedo for talking to a little girl. But this is super heart warming and cool

EliTheElite · 2020-02-18T22:24:25+00:00

Rule 11

Gabiz135 · 2020-02-18T22:51:49+00:00

Nice

MingSushi · 2020-02-18T22:54:59+00:00

Wait... just because there’s a bunch of teenage boys, the mother already had a feminist speech about equality ready? Skate parks have tons of girls in it, I never understood why so many people (not just women but also minorities) think that if they walk into a place or have an interest in something that’s majority male or majority white that they can’t do it and go in with this expectation that something awful will happen.

Also can we talk about how she sees a bunch of teenagers smoking, skating and cursing and lets her child go, only because she wanted to prove some feminist point instead of taking her kid somewhere where wasn’t foul language and cigarette smoke?

canyoutriforce · 2020-02-18T22:56:12+00:00

*your

Washing_Macine · 2020-02-18T23:04:30+00:00

r/HumansBeingBros

ExcalBestDPS · 2020-02-18T23:35:27+00:00

Parents are the biggest problems at skate parks almost as much as snake kids. They come in screaming and bitching about stuff when their kid is being a little shit. They take no responsibility for their snakes. Their kid is a precious little angel in their eyes. The amount of times I've seen a women being more toxic than a man at a skate part is a 10:1 ratio easily. (A snake is a kid at a skate part that has no awareness about their surroundings and often block paths people are using unintentionally or intentionally being a general nuisance. Often seen riding scooters)

And who said skateboarding was a guy thing cause I've seen a lot of good girl skaters. Most do shit not even I can do. (I mostly ride longboard so not much practice in skatepark riding)

alonelybaggel · 2020-02-19T00:18:03+00:00

Bruh have you ever been around a teenager? They wild asfuck

ld2gj · 2020-02-19T00:22:22+00:00

https://www.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/f3n936/man_give_kids_free_skate_gear_woman_claims_he_is/

This lady would have him charged as a pedo.

Twinkletoes0001 · 2020-02-19T00:38:27+00:00

Well this is some bullshi....oh, that’s actually a good story

omegaphallic · 2020-02-19T00:40:19+00:00

Excellent twist ending.

WolfeBane84 · 2020-02-19T00:58:34+00:00

Because it's so ingrained in me by society my first thoughts on his motivation for talking to her....were not good....

Keenin455 · 2020-02-19T01:22:33+00:00

Oh gag me.

The author only saw boys as human beings so long as they were wiling to act like chivalrous gentlemen. Otherwise, she'd have no qualms posting a message of outrage in the name of all womankind and their daughters.

I pity her daughter for the messages and behaviour her radical, misandric mother is impressing on her.

corruptboomerang · 2020-02-19T01:43:37+00:00

Honestly, most groups of whoever are like this. More often than not if you are trying to do something people are more than willing to help!

rysic · 2020-02-19T01:49:15+00:00

What a nice guy. That's the kind of person I want to be.

PearlHar8or · 2020-02-19T03:01:18+00:00

some of my guy friends are actually really nice and really want to help and be around kids it kinda sucks that it's unlikely to happen, but it is nice that she changed her view

SwordoftheRevelation · 2020-02-19T03:43:23+00:00

No matter what men do to achieve honor in this world or just be a good MAN they will always be seen as the exception to the rule rather than simply MEN. This is honestly just draining. What does the kid have to do in order for male behaviors to not be seen as normally toxic? This is functionally the same as walking up to a black kid and saying, "You're a credit to your race." No. They're not a credit to their race. Their race is fine normally. And no. This boy is not a credit to his sex. His sex is normally just fine.

cuteman · 2020-02-19T03:58:24+00:00

Perception is everything

Pre conceived bias can hurt or help us all.

Go into many things as you can, friendly and open and you'll be pleasantly surprised.

laturner92 · 2020-02-19T05:06:40+00:00

I thought most skaters nowadays had a pretty good reputation, especially those that use parks and skate respectfully.

YouTube loves forcing skate videos on me and I've seen a lot of really wholesome stuff

SpareArm · 2020-02-19T11:21:24+00:00

One of my favourite reposts... Will upvote every time

DomBolais · 2020-02-19T11:34:38+00:00

They had us in the first half, not gonna lie

tryintofly · 2020-02-19T11:44:53+00:00

Oh my god, women just go on and on. This bitch wrote War & Peace before I even got a clue what self righteous bullshit she was on about.

5th_Law_of_Robotics · 2020-02-19T11:54:44+00:00

This notion that males like to take over some area and never let females in because "girls can't skate/code/game/etc".

Guys just don't like having to change their hobbies to appeal to women who aren't really interested.

If you're genuinely interested in skating and aren't trying to gurl power your way in to show up the men then cry when you can't you'll find most guys are totally supportive.

DancesWithPugs · 2020-02-19T12:49:18+00:00

OMG teenagers ground rails at a skate park. What is the world coming to?

Catcrumble · 2020-02-19T12:54:55+00:00

I've been to skate parks, there's some serious rules in place. Like anything male dominated, inclusion requires respect. Sounds like mom went in with disrespect on her mind and this dude saved her daughter from the fallout. Hope she sticks to skating, but I doubt she will

HNutz · 2020-02-19T15:19:02+00:00

Good point

Kuramo · 2020-02-20T03:01:18+00:00

MRA's praising feminist man, just because he's a dad, nice U-turn.

Btw, this sub isn't fond of examples of dads raising sons. I'd like to know why.

Do you repair that this only reinforce the empathy gap between male and female children from fathers?

If so, then don't surprise later if you see a lot of men men against father's rights in a few years because they didn't have a male role model. Hey, isn't this happening now?

Unique-Tiger · 2020-02-22T13:22:18+00:00

Gosh. I so badly want to get behind this like everyone else. And I DO love how this teenager embraced her. But. I have spent countless hours at skateparks and the truth is, it’s just no place for a small child. Unless you go when it’s not busy. Here’s why... There is a rhythm and a flow to how, when, where kids drop into bowls and move around the park. Like invisible flight paths. So often you see unsupervised kids enter this space with parents unwilling to sort of impose the rules on their child. They kind of demand that the kids already there just deal with them being there. Sometimes they are 3 years old!
It’s so dangerous. Both for the child and the older kids. I don’t know the solution and I mean to take absolutely nothing away from this awesome example of a mindful teenager but I just want to say that just as that teenage boy was respectful of the child’s desire to be there, the parent of the child should be respectful of the fact that the bigger bodies are there.
They can’t and won’t always be aware of small bodies who going the wrong direction. (Gender has nothing to do with this in this case. That kid would have helped a little boy just the same and a little boy would be scared to hop into that environment too.)

blette · 2020-02-18T19:58:04+00:00

10 years later, admirable 15-year-old boy is now 25. At a club, he runs across that girl he helped who is now 21. Guess who becomes a couple one hour later.

Goodvibes-1111 · 2020-02-18T19:33:21+00:00

Fucking love this!!!!!!

jsxtasy304 · 2020-02-18T19:40:33+00:00

Ugh as usual.... Always at least one in the crowd.

V12AventadorV12 · 2020-02-18T22:27:19+00:00

They had us in the first half

BlackVendaeta · 2020-02-19T03:35:57+00:00

I'm not quite sure if this fits in THIS sub specifically.

I mean, I don't see any rights being challenged, I just see a mother who thought the wrong stereotypes and was proved wrong. This feels more like it should go in r/wholesome than r/MensRights.

If you disagree, I'd like to hear your arguments for it. I'd rather it be explained rather than me be downvoted into oblivion.

CuteBoy25 · 2020-02-18T19:38:15+00:00

They had us in the first half not gonna lie

thomas5145 · 2020-02-18T22:02:18+00:00

They had us in the first half, but gonna lie

ColorMePoorly · 2020-02-18T21:11:06+00:00

That story is on the whole pretty wholesome in my opinion. I don't see how it's related to toxic masculinity and/or Mensrights

j_middlefinger · 2020-02-18T19:32:59+00:00

That was a really sweet story. Let’s be real, though. Not every guy would’ve been so awesome and helpful, but I’d like to think that a lot of them would be. However, I think that a large number would simply steer clear of the little girl, even where they might be willing to help a little boy. Society has kind of wired us to be fearful in this regard, as even when acting in only the most upright of ways, all it takes is a misperception by another to tear your world apart. It’s really sad. It’s sad that this happens to guys. It’s incredibly sad that children are victimized. It sucks that we, as responsible, caring, considerate, and moral men have to think this way. We must remember though, that we have to do this because there are legitimate monsters walking among us, and statistically, they are more likely to be male.

For the mother’s part, obviously, she wasn’t thinking of those darker things, but the young man wouldn’t know that, and that is something that all men need to be aware of.

I see a lot of people shooting on the mother a little bit, but I think that’s kind of messed up. She didn’t make a conscious choice to assume the things she did. Society, personal experience, etc., all contribute to these things. That young man showed her that there were flaws in her thinking, and commendably, she owned it and made a public statement showing that fact. This is a good thing. It shows there is still a lot of progress to be made, but it shows that some progress is being made, even if only one person at a time!

broken_bowl_ · 2020-02-19T06:05:39+00:00

Ok Karen.

soobviouslyfake · 2020-02-18T19:18:41+00:00

What the fuck why did I get kinda misty reading this

ODSTRomeo419 · 2020-02-18T19:23:04+00:00

The takeaway from this is that unfortunately, when you're a small female child, a bunch of bigger, larger, smoking and cussing loud teenage boys are in a group like that, it can be very intimidating for a young girl or mother to approach that skatepark. I have skateparks near my house, and I know the type of guys that hang out near there. They're very brash, and that's absolutely okay - they have every right to be brash and loud and everything at a skatepark, but it takes an extra amount of effort for one to step out of that crowd and actually show the younger girl that she can be just as accepted at a skate park as the other guys are, and that she doesn't need to feel scared or left out. As a mother or father, would you wanna let your young (8, 9, or 10 year old) daughter go to the skatepark by herself? I think most of us will admit to ourselves that we'd be naturally cautious. It will take time to change these stereotypes, and for women to feel more included in these kinds of environments, but guys like the one praised in this post went out of his way to speed that process up and make a difference in this impressionable child's mind. That's a real difference made, by a guy who observed the situation, and understood the situation, and acted accordingly to do what he thought was the most right thing; as it turns out, it was the most right thing that could have likely come out of this situation, and it MADE a difference in the perspective of this girl. We shouldn't be "praising all women" or "believing all accusations", for sure, but we should all strive to be the most righteous versions of ourselves, just like the guy in this post did. Kudos to him, and equal thanks to the woman who shared this story about her daughter. She may have had a preconceived notion about groups of boys like this, but that may arise from somewhere in her memory and experiences, the same way us dudes have preconceived notions about lots of women, or groups women who act certain ways. It's perfectly natural to form mental stereotypes and generalizations, because it allows us to function and compartmentalize, but it's after that survival period where we get the opportunity to reach past those from a point of developmental safety and ask what we don't know, that we may grow ourselves beyond our basic understanding of the world. We should all strive to embody characteristics that we would find heroic and admirable in others, to the best ability we can put those thoughts into actions. Good post.

Minnesotan-Gaming · 2020-02-18T20:11:36+00:00

[permanently deleted]

kisuperf · 2020-02-19T06:41:49+00:00

this is not toxic masculinity and would never be under attack in feminist spheres

Mackowatosc · 2020-02-19T09:13:23+00:00

[permanently deleted]

JeffersonClippership · 2020-02-19T00:28:24+00:00

Y'all are dense.

And sensitive, too.

Hamburger-Queefs · 2020-02-18T22:09:20+00:00

Go back to facebook

Title	Toxic masculinity
Author	GlennQuagmireEsq
Upvotes	3839
Comments	228
Date	February 18, 2020 5:35 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/f5vff9/toxic_masculinity/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/toxic-masculinity.1200507 https://theredarchive.com/post/1200507

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