AF/BB:Never worth the wait?

Steakman1 · 2022-09-15T04:33:09+00:00

The theory only applies if you did or were willing to have sex with a guy quicker in your past. So for example you say you would’ve been willing to have sex a month into your relationship. But with a guy from your past, you were willing to hook up after the first date, or were willing to have sex before being in a relationship. The whole idea of af/bb is that you would be settling for the guy you’re with when in reality you would prefer someone else. And as a result, you’re imposing different standards and/or restrictions that wouldn’t apply to a guy you truly desire. And for the guy you’re settling with, he has to do more than the guy you truly desire to get the things he wants. And there’s a chance that there’s some things he won’t ever get to experience with you that the guy you truly desire would be able to.

P.s. I don’t really subscribe to af/bb except for maybe some extreme scenarios. But this is my understanding of it.

DaoMark · 2022-09-15T05:09:27+00:00

I am not a TRP guy, but I think you may be misunderstanding the argument somewhat.

I recently read the alpha fucks/beta bucks theory. Apparently if the woman is setting rules it means that she's not attracted to the guy.

It is not just that she is setting rules, it is that she is setting rules and barriers for guy1 that she had not set for guy2; and, if these lack of rules and barriers for guy2 resulted in guy2 getting laid without investing nearly as much as guy1, then guy1 investment in courting ( the dates, gifts, time, attention, etc... ) being exploited due to ignorance.

I think the go to analogy to explain why guy1 might feel wronged is like this:

Let us say you have a company that hired two people, both Sally and John - Sally is working 80 hours a week and is paid 50k, John is working 10 hours a week and is paid 200k.

Sally and John both have the same occupation, Sally however is contributing far more to the company despite being paid far less, Sally is content with this payment until she finds out that John is doing less work for the same job, and is given more reward - Sally's ignorance was exploited and she was a sucker.

Now, approaching dating in this way is very systematic and doesn't account for elements like love, nerves, and other emotions, but I do understand the reasoning

So as guy you should never stick around if a woman makes you wait, she's still dreaming about the alpha she can't have.

Its not that you are dreaming about the chad you can't have, its that you aren't giving him the same deal that you gave that chad; a lot of these men do not want to sit and invest time, money, and emotions into getting something that was given away to a man who put in far less effort.

The AF/BB theory only really applies to situations where the girl was fucking other guys in a way shorter time frame, especially guys who didn't do all the things that he is doing for you.

My boyfriend waited almost half a year. Does this make him a beta?

Waiting 6 months for any girl who isn't a virgin or has a low n count is actually a little wild in general, especially if she was fucking random dudes after only like two weeks of knowing them, or had an ONS with some bum at a bar.

Women don't owe men anything, but men don't owe women all that courting ether, so there is that I guess.

Does it make him beta? Idk, I try and stay away from those terms even tho its called AF/BB. What I will say is it does mean his time was finessed, but again, relationships aren't that simple and I don't really like that sort of thinking.

If I had to answer, your bf is a beta within this AF/BB model, but that doesn't mean he is actually a beta as a person, that is just the role he fits in this "theory" lmao

Honestly the AF/BB theory, while it does speak to certain situations, it doesn't really account for a lot of variables so I wouldn't put too much stock in it.

For example, you could've been friends with a guy for 5 years, and had sex with him on the first date. Then there is some new guy you never met but you made him wait 5 dates.

Who "waited" longer? Who "invested" more in the relationship?

I'd say the friend, but often times, the new guy who waited 5 dates won't consider that the person you slept with on the first date, is the guy you knew for 5 years.

It is all just oversimplistic, honestly.

smallstarseeker · 2022-09-15T04:36:46+00:00

If you wanted to fuck him... you'd fuck him.

hari_hbp · 2022-09-15T06:38:12+00:00

Personally, I take "AFBB" as a warning. It simply means there are guys out there (hotter/more attractive than me) that my date/girlfriend/wife would take one look and go "I'm fucking him tonight". At the same time, she needs time to get comfortable with me and thus, would wait to have sex with me.

That's a choice the woman makes and I can't force her do it another way. Ofcourse, I can always leave if I'm not satisfied with it. No harm there.

boomershack · 2022-09-15T11:52:51+00:00

My boyfriend waited almost half a year. Does this make him a beta?

Most Definitely. 6 months!?

Did you make him wait for religious/spiritual reasons or just ... "muh feelings"

Hefty-Wolverine3675 · 2022-09-15T15:09:13+00:00

Anything past three weeks I have to assume she is uninterested. Besides she probably gave it easy to another man anyways

SwaySh0t · 2022-09-15T04:35:55+00:00

U don’t sound bitchy u sound awkward. Attractive men will either patiently wait and see/ have sex with other women on the side, or he won’t wait because his other option won’t wait. The market sets the price in this regard not you. In other cases, If he waits, he likely doesn’t have other options so he waits and bides his time while u extract resources through dates and emotional labor and rule making. Of course I’m speaking generally and there are no absolutes, demographics play a huge part as well— in a small rural town where men outnumber women an attractive guy will wait, in big metropolitan cities where women out number men he likely won’t wait because other women won’t let him OR he’s entertaining multiple women.

Historical-System972 · 2022-09-15T15:53:11+00:00

>My boyfriend waited almost half a year.

If it were me and you didn't put out by date 2, I'd throw you out on your ass.

>Or does this mean that I was not attracted to him?

Yes, that is exactly what it means. This whole post reads like an exercise in denial - like you're trying to convince yourself you didn't get with a guy just for his ability to provide you with resources. The same type of guy you wouldn't have pissed on if he were on fire during your younger years.

Fun_Push7168 · 2022-09-15T04:17:50+00:00

My boyfriend waited almost half a year. Does this make him a beta?

Yes.

Almost unequivocally. I can think of a handful of guys that were just very religious, definitely not beta, but would wait that long because they were just convicted to no premarital sex, but that was their own self-imposed standard.

Or does this mean that I was not attracted to him?

Idk, is this just your normal standard, or have their been other guys who you were excited about enough to have sex with way sooner? If your last bf or your next one was hot enough to get it in a month but you were able to control yourself with this one then, well...self explanatory.

As with any rule it's a generalization, there are some exceptions. You sound like you wouldn't be quick with anyone , maybe even a virgin or damn near ( at least very young) but....idk

CruelAngelGradThesis · 2022-09-15T07:31:34+00:00

It's way easier to dump someone when you're convinced they feel zero desire for you than to acknowledge the messy, complicated reality that it is 100% valid to dump an individual who may in fact love and desire you but is not compatible

risdeveau · 2022-09-15T05:42:12+00:00

Yes. Please, please, men, if a woman makes you wait even a teensy bit, run the other way

2022-09-16T13:47:44+00:00

So he wasn't attractive for you to take a risk and fuck him anyway.

What is this comfortable shit, sex is not comfortable, it is tension all about tension.

If he was an attractive male, you would of fucked him regardless of any unease you felt, as your emotions would of driven you to it.

Guy is a chump that does not know his self worth if he waited.

kellydayscruff · 2022-09-15T04:00:19+00:00

It doesnt. Every relationship whether platonic or romantic, professional or otherwise has a buyer and a seller. The buyer wants what the seller has and the seller sets the price. The buyer either decides that the cost is worth it or not.

DarkBrandon46 · 2022-09-15T05:34:08+00:00

Theres too much missing context to say one way or the other. I tried looking into your post history to see if I could get any insight and I see you only have 1 comment a couple months back talking about you being unattractive and that if a guy is interested it's only because he couldn't get what he was interested in. You tell this person you're replying to that even she will do for a one night stand. You could correct me if I'm wrong, but this comes off as if you're speaking from experience.

Perhaps I'm mistaken and you hold this waiting standard to all men, which if that's the case than no you're not a bitch and he's not a beta, but on the other hand, if you are in fact willing to have one night stands with a certain man or men and you're making this dude wait than youd basically be backing up the theory. In that case, yes he beta bucked while the alpha fucked. If this is the case, I wouldn't say youre a bitch, but I would say you are the female equivalent of the guy who uses you for sex but takes girls he's interested in more seriously.

throwaway316stunner · 2022-09-15T13:01:28+00:00

Is he a beta?

Well, that depends. Did you have sex with other guys before him? If so, did it take SIX MONTHS? Did they have to jump through less hoops to get in bed with you?

If your respective answers are Yes, No, and Yes, then he is a beta.

C4yourshelf · 2022-09-15T13:27:05+00:00

Your bf is totally a beta lol

LaloTwins · 2022-09-15T15:09:22+00:00

Did he try to have sex with you during those 6 months?

Have you ever had sex with someone sooner than that timeframe?

If no to both these questions then he's not a Beta.

Bluepilled maybe but not necessarily a Beta.

GVM3SnakeBeater · 2022-09-15T15:10:22+00:00

My boyfriend waited almost half a year. Does this make him a beta?

Yes.

RedditsOlderBrah · 2022-09-15T03:50:44+00:00

This theory was completely made up as a post hoc justification for failure by extremely bitter and unsuccessful men.

DisasterPeace7 · 2022-09-15T04:17:58+00:00

My boyfriend waited almost half a year. Does this make him a beta?

Unless you were a virgin, probably yeah🤷‍♂️

But I'm not going to get too much into your own personal relationship. being the BB is probably the best strategy for guys who don't have the options or an abundance mindset, you're not her ideal guy, probably wouldn't have gotten a look from her in her prime physical years, not her first or second or maybe even top 10 option but you're a safe reliable option, not the worst place for a lot of guys but not the ideal cream of the crop situation, it is what it is

poppy_blu · 2022-09-15T10:37:07+00:00

all of this sounds very weird and contrived to me

Probably because it’s bullshit.

It’s cope for losers who can’t get women.

AppliedAutism · 2022-09-15T04:52:25+00:00

Depends, did you let a guy you met a week prior rail you immediately?

sparklyyblueberryy · 2022-09-15T08:53:10+00:00

Those that say ”if she made me wait I would dump her/go for other women” or ”if he had options he would have” are first of all deluded (not all men want to use women as a supply for sex). But second of all proving the superiority of waiting because it shows who is with you for the wrong reasons/only want you for sex.

Specialist-Action-33 · 2022-09-15T07:24:57+00:00

My boyfriend waited almost half a year. Does this make him a beta?

Yes.

I can assure I was very much attracted to him and I would've liked to have sex a month into the relationship. But I was still quite nervous when talking to him and couldn't actually hold his gaze for more than 10 seconds. I thought that he deserved a girlfriend whose eyes he could look into before having sex and I trained myself to do so.

You can sugarcoat that as much as you want, you still made him wait. Did you make other men wait?

Your bf is better than me. Either I would have bounced, or if I really wanted a relationship with you that much, I would have had someone fulfill my sexual desires until whenever you were considered "ready" and could have given less than af tbh.

I knew it would be unfair to both of us to have sex when I was too shy/awkward to muster a "I love you".

Possible reasons for this. If you were not as experienced then you were probably just having an expection for a strong relationship. If you were experienced, you probably don't find him attractive enough to have sex with him until almost 6 months but continue to fool yourself into thinking so and coming up with excuses to why you didn't want to. Straight BB move there. In that case he should have known it was cap and done something about it rather than sticking around for that long. Thats only if it applies though.

Edit: I just saw the comment that you said you were a 22 yr old virgin. In that case half the stuff I just mentioned is irrelevant. He is not a beta in this case. If you lost your virginity to him then its understandable why you waited so long.

HobbitShaker88 · 2022-09-15T18:41:46+00:00

Its is weird and contrived.

When I dated I never had sex quickly. Why?

Im. Not. Comfortable. Enough. To. Screw. Someone. I Barely. Know. Even. When. I. Think. You. Are. Hot.

Most men I met off of OLD, by the 3rd date I had spent a grand total of 6 hours with them!!!!!!!! They could have been just released from prison, how the heck would I know that when Ive spent 6 hours with them, never talked to any of their friends or family, never seen them deal with a negative emotion or stress?

THE END

Diddy_1978 · 2022-09-15T20:47:45+00:00

That theory is shit, and it can only be considered if you consider sex and relationships am exchange. It does not understand personal growth or feelings.

Wide-Illustrator2906 · 2022-09-15T06:31:14+00:00

I don't know your boyfriend or his beliefs but if he waited to have sex with you when he wanted to have sex then yes, he is a beta because he is denying his own feelings and desires to appease someone else.

vogel777 · 2022-09-15T13:52:04+00:00

Alpha Fucks, Beta Bucks is horseshit, its a red pill brain fart and these guys get high huffing on them. Please don't concern yourself with what you read from men on here these theories don't apply to healthy individuals.

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John_Oakman · 2022-09-15T09:22:16+00:00

Its never a good idea to wait, but for different reasons than others have noted. If a male is that obsessed with sex then waiting is also a form of long term deception towards the woman in the relationship.

Wait out of a sense of respect and boundaries, not out of a sense of pay off.

TheRedPillRipper · 2022-09-15T13:41:37+00:00

How does make me a bitchy woman and my boyfriend a loser man?

It doesn’t. You’re just inexperienced. Nor does it make your boyfriend a loser. He has a reason for waiting. Which may be genuine, however only he knows.

Never worth the wait

You’ll find out. If you two last; then it was worth the wait.

Godspeed and good luck!

2022-09-15T15:27:29+00:00

I think you're over complicating things.

Lots of women attach certain feelings to sex and they only want to have sex after they've known someone for a while.

Some men understand this, or they have trad views and respect it - so they just wait.

Obviously it's entirely dependent on social circles and culture.

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Title	AF/BB:Never worth the wait?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	21
Comments	231
Date	September 14, 2022 11:51 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/xeh89d/afbbnever_worth_the_wait/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/afbbnever-worth-the-wait.1208771 https://theredarchive.com/post/1208771

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