Are men also affected by having high n counts/sleeping with many different women?

SmarmyPapsmears · 2022-05-28T15:08:32+00:00

Yes, high n men are more likely to cheat as well.

doshkhaleesi · 2022-05-28T15:30:42+00:00

I think it does. Also, I think that if you’re a woman with a low n count due to the emotional emphasis you place on sex, a man who has demonstrated the ability to have it in an emotionless and compartmentalize manner is not going to seem like a good fit. It also seems he’d find it easiest to cheat because sex can be had without emotional investment or entanglement.

WYenginerdWY · 2022-05-29T05:42:40+00:00

A dude with a high N count, in my view, sees women as fleshholes to fuck. I'm not interested in that at all so any dude with a high N count is gonna get nexted if I'm in that situation. Especially if he's that particular breed of idiot who thinks he can fuck everything that moves in his twenties, but then deserves a "good, low N girl" when he decides to settle down. That dude can get fucked with a splintered broom handle.

So, yes, I would say they are impacted. In an ideal world, high n count people should date each other like people with kids should date each other.

Naru4odo · 2022-05-28T17:38:01+00:00

It's the same both ways, honestly I find it gross either way, if a man or a woman comes to me and says their n count is like 50 or more, I automatically think they are gross. Also it does affect both in terms of pair bonding ability and probability of cheating.

Ambassadior · 2022-05-28T21:14:49+00:00

As someone who had my fair share, I'm burned out. The blessing was the experice but the curse was what I have come to learn.

Own_Wall_4233 · 2022-05-29T00:05:16+00:00

I've had sex with between 200 to 300 women and I'm completely unable to have stable or long term relationships. Whether my promiscuity is the cause or symptom of this dysfunction, who knows.

Slight_Fig5187 · 2022-05-29T02:17:30+00:00

Well, I don't know if the opinion of a woman counts, but I've left a couple of men because of this. It's very difficult to digest the number of ex girlfriends and ex friends with benefits everywhere, plus once the honeymoon stage is over, my experience is that those men used to lots of female attention will revert to their "hunter" role and even if they don't actively cheat, they will become flirty with other women, and what's worse, other women will become flirty with them.

No, I would totally choose a man with just a reasonable number of previous experiences that makes him comfortable with women and a good lover, but never somebody having slept with lots of women.

Play_Muted · 2022-05-28T16:12:27+00:00

Yes. Human brain works logarithmically.

if you have 1 sexual partner that person is 100% of your experience, if you have 2 last person is 50% of your experience, if you have 10 last person is 10% of your experience.

if you have 10 dollars its hard to spend 5 dollars but if you have 50 dollars its way easier to spend 5 dollars.

Leaving your current partner becomes easier to do with partner count increase.

mmm_try_again12345 · 2022-05-28T15:04:13+00:00

Yes, it’s bad for men and women. Just easier for a larger amount of women to do.

The women worth being with long-term aren’t going to settle for men who’ve slept with tons of partners, and the men worth being with aren’t going to settle for women who’ve slept with tons of partners.

Kondijote · 2022-05-28T15:46:01+00:00

I think that it’s obvious that a man who’s used to sexual variety will have a hard time settling for a monogamous long-term relationship.

But both a man and a woman with a high number of sexual partners are not typical of their own gender.

Although the average heterosexual man has a high sex drive, he can’t find a willing sex partner easily. Therefore, a man with such a high “n-count” is probably very attractive, has a high status, or both (which is not rare since physical attractiveness usually leads to high status).

Although the average heterosexual woman can easily find a sexual partner, she doesn’t have a high sex drive that makes her actively seek for sex. That’s why you don’t see women approaching men as frequently as the other way around. If a woman has a high number of sexual partners, she probably has a much higher sex drive than average, or is using sex as a means to an end.

badgersonice · 2022-05-28T19:19:32+00:00

It’s not that the n-count will affect a man or a woman, it’s that people who have particular personality types and personal values are more likely to rack up a high-n count.

Shredddz · 2022-05-28T22:45:51+00:00

no. men who do this mostly are not the greatest people and have personality defects, but they are not caused by sexual activity, they just want short term gratification and sex and thats why they also have defective personalities. but the cause is reversed. casual sex is the result not the cause.

taapy234 · 2022-05-28T16:35:09+00:00

High N count affects both men and women.

Does it hurt their ability to pair bond in any way?

As the famous internet saying goes, doesn't matter, had sex.

High N count men, by definition, are already in top demand from women. So their mating strategy ( "spreading the seed.") is different than the rest of the beta men despite the risks that is getting pumped and dumped.

Unlike men, most women are not disgusted by high N count men. Sure exceptions exist, but there's no collective society wide shaming against high N count men from women. In fact, enough women even voluntarily take high risk to "reform" the party boy if given a chance.

lostwanderer28 · 2022-05-28T17:27:54+00:00

Yes, it negatively affects men as well .

ruboyuri · 2022-05-28T18:48:09+00:00

In all cases, it’s a symptom, not the disease

MarBitt · 2022-05-28T19:24:26+00:00

5 men from my surroundings who had sex with a really large number of girls and women in their youth. It seems that it can turn out in any way. I would be interested in the study.

He is in a stable marriage (community leader, found faith in God, changed, it does not seem to leave traces on him, rather it has given him experience and insight).
Still changes women even at the age of 40, still have as many as he wants.
In a tumultuous marriage, now a third child, ill married, picked with a penis.
Alone, resented on women.
Single father, occasional sexual relationships.

Snivelingincel · 2022-05-29T02:17:34+00:00

Men who have sexual variety will choose relationships that satisfy their need for sexual variety. Polyamory, swinging, etc. are all options and men who get lots of sex can choose. You forget that men who are highly sexual and desire variety may not be the type of men seeking out traditional relationships. Viewing traditional relationships as the end all be all and anything that falls short as negative is a bias. I’ve had lots of sex, I have no desire to be monogamous and I have no need to.

sarkington · 2022-05-28T16:02:12+00:00

Men would love to sleep around, but can’t

Women can sleep around, but don’t love to

Alas

tired_hillbilly · 2022-05-28T18:05:30+00:00

I would be very surprised if it didn't effect men. But I would also be very surprised if it effected men equally. Men and women aren't the same.

ThrowawayYAYAY2002 · 2022-05-28T18:36:52+00:00

No.

I've slept with around 80-100 women and had zero problem pair bonding, ever. Many men I know with high body counts don't cheat or stray.

I also know women who have slept with a similar number and they definitely have problems pair bonding. Like, they always stray. Always.

Nero401 · 2022-05-28T18:37:18+00:00

It definitely makes it more difficult to deal with relationship BS

ChibsFilipTelfordd · 2022-05-28T22:18:06+00:00

No. Because neither are women. Everyone has it backwards -- high N doesn't cause mental problems. Problems can cause high N.

If you can vet the problems, then you should be OK with high N. But it can be hard to vet those problems, I get it

OrganicPresence2578 · 2022-06-02T01:23:03+00:00

Being in demand makes men more attractive. Being attractive makes them more in demand. It's positive feedback and a strong one at that. Just like money

MickIsBlue · 2022-05-28T16:54:18+00:00

I think studies show that men and women are more likely to cheat with high body counts but I always feel as a guy it's better to have more bodies than the woman you are with

crimson_juniper · 2022-05-28T15:02:14+00:00

No.

Men's nature is to have a harem of women.

Women's nature is to fuck the highest value man she can.

Also, you've got it backwards. Fucking lots of guys doesn't ruin a girl. Troubled girls are fucking lots of guys to fill their daddy issues.

Well adjusted girls aren't out there racking up 50+ n counts.

PlayfulLawyer · 2022-05-28T18:23:30+00:00

Well rampant promiscuity I would argue is just not great in general but male and female promiscuity is different, with men it depends on how he exactly acquires the body count, if I fuck two hundred different women but 197 of them were prostitutes that I paid, that actually lowers me in the eyes of both men and women

Now if I fuck those two hundred attractive women and it's due to them actually being attracted to me, totally different ballgame, a man that can genuinely pull hot chicks is always going to be attractive to other women, maybe even a little intimidating because it makes it harder if not impossible to manipulate a guy with options, the man we pretty much just accept that if our woman is even average she's going to have a shit ton more options than us but as a man if a woman finds out that she's pretty much your only option, watch the disrespect fly in lol

I think as far as the whole pair bonding thing even though men and women are different , from the man's perspective if you have been able to pull a lot of chicks of different varieties, I think it actually makes it easier to settle down a little bit when you found the right one, my body count would be considered high by some people in the group, I don't necessarily ( it's 33, shout out to Larry Bird) , and it's been a good variety of women, and I'm married now, but I don't have that lingering feeling of missing out or that I can only get one chick, etc., I still don't do monogamy regardless but there we go

sublimemongrel · 2022-05-28T16:28:06+00:00

There is not a whole lot of data to support either gender is psychologically “damaged” due to n count. There are theories and statistics but nothing really solid.

The only research I’ve seen on “pair bonding” involves prairie voles, not humans, and iirc the pertinent conclusion was that early trauma can diminish the capacity to “pair bond” (again, in prairie voles).

The most interesting study I’ve seen involves more recent research looking at humans’ unconscious efforts in rejecting potential partners (disengagement and devaluation) and how other factors (including history of short term relationships) could predict divorce and infidelity. I was never able to read the full study because, paywall, but the university where the researchers worked did summarize the study in this article:

https://news.fsu.edu/news/education-society/2018/02/12/lead-us-not-temptation-predictors-infidelity-divorce-highlighted-new-fsu-research/

Unlike some of the epi studies commonly touted here, this one included men

baresquad · 2022-05-28T15:18:09+00:00

No. Just based on what I see and read I assume my relationships are a lot healthier than a lot of others. Pair bonding is bullshit just like soul ties. I’m able to connect with anybody and love just as easily as the next person.

Same goes for women, it’s the same exact thing. We’re the same.

OldSimpsonsisbetter · 2022-05-28T15:19:26+00:00

I don't think it's a relevant question whether they can or cannot have a long term relationship after those counts. Obviously their best years are truly amazing with so many different women giving them everything and go the full nine yards for these guys. Ever their wildest dreams come true. They tend to be on the more attractive side so their loife portner will be more satisfied with his looks and pewsonalityy. So he keeps having sex in this long term relationship. We know that lots of women bored after a couple of years into their marriage and only have sex on birthdays and for Christmas. It's an ugly world out there. Obviously the guys with higher counts have far superior lives even if their count produces some side effects on their pair bonding.

SylvestorTalone · 2022-05-28T22:41:39+00:00

I think so, though I expect to a lesser extent than women.

HushPuppy1993 · 2022-05-30T04:04:45+00:00

It doesn’t effect their psyche the same way. A Red Pill YouTube basically put it as it enhances a guys confidence where as it makes a woman essentially used up.

Electrical_Coat_8714 · 2022-05-30T13:01:00+00:00

Yeah it makes you a better pick lmao

Lateralanouncer · 2022-05-29T08:57:57+00:00

Do what you want with your body.

Men naturaly have the ability to pump and dump without the emotional and physical cost its just how it is. For men monogamy is a choice and cost.

High number count woman gain this ability. Except they gain it after they let lots of men penitrate them nothing wrong with that choice.

In woman it has something to do with oxytocin being released during sex.

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Weiland_1989 · 2022-05-31T05:25:22+00:00

When I was 23 I kinda had a FWB thing with a girl who was 21 and who had more or less the same bodycount than me. If I remember well, I was around 45-50, and she claimed to be around the same (she even showed me some messages of guys she was hooking up with).

She was quite chubby, not that good looking in the face, not really my favourite girl around that time honestly but she was willing and always aviable, what can I say...

I was (as I'm still) 6.3', very ripped and muscular, good looking and well off.

Guess who's still doing great with the opposite sex, 10 years later.

In this sense, the difference between me and her is that not a single one of my friends, not even the ugly looking ones, would marry her knowing her history.

While my ex fiancee, who happened to know her, said yes despite knowing I had slept with over 60 women.

And yes, it didn't work out with my ex, in part because I'm an irredemable (until now at least) manwhore, I'm being honest here, I like to have sex with different women, novelty is a huge part of my sexual life so I had to cut loses despite I initially it may work out this time (in my defense, I never cheated on her, I was very honest and loyal).

The thing is I pull women because I'm good looking, unlike most of the promiscuous women I've met.

Of course, there are lots of guys out there willing to marry reformed sluts, hell some guys even marry female pornstars...

But those women are very good looking. The majority of promiscuous women are not.

And then we can talk about how promiscuity can affect men and women and yeah, I agree, it affects both of them.

Still, IME promiscuous men are more positive about life and relationships, and this is because promiscuous men are doing the "vetting" and most of the time the dumping too.

Promiscuous women, more often than not, are the ones being dumped, and that builds resentment towards the other gender, which is not a healthy way to approach (future) relationships.

Also the options both slutty men and women get are quite different. I don't have problems landing good looking gals both for short flyngs and relationships (my ex fiancee was a low N-count woman I started dating casual and became attached to for example) while some of the girls I've hooked up with couldn't land a man like me, even temporarily, unless they were "simping" hard, like they did with me.

Thyme_Animal · 2022-05-31T05:39:22+00:00

I strongly feel that, no, I don't think a man could have sex with 1000 women and it'd make much of a difference in who he is when he settles down. Wanting to sleep with 1000 women is an off-the-assembly line feature in men.

interesting thought came to me - the analogue for women being warped by having many sexual partners/sex/sexual interest is men not having enough sexual partners/sex/sexual interest. That fucks men up as bad or worse then women

Roosh is a liar.

GawdIsAbullet · 2022-05-31T07:12:29+00:00

That's how it's always been. Women who sleep with lots of men are seen as sluts and men who do it are somehow seen as studs.

It is what it shouldn't be.

criticalmale · 2022-06-03T08:35:13+00:00

Lol women being threatened by our differences again. Nature sucks either way.

coastFI_chaser · 2022-06-04T13:32:23+00:00

Yes, although it depends why they have a high count. Some men are really insecure and use sex to mask it. Others have difficulties with intimacy and are avoidants. Overall these guys can become very callous with women and rude.

Title	Are men also affected by having high n counts/sleeping with many different women?
Author	OldSimpsonsisbetter
Upvotes	22
Comments	154
Date	May 28, 2022 2:56 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/uzozor/are_men_also_affected_by_having_high_n/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/are-men-also-affected-by-having-high-n.1118270 https://theredarchive.com/post/1118270

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