Differences between casual and married sex

drok007 · 2024-02-19T16:26:37+00:00

I would say it’s more consistent in quality and quantity. Married sex isn’t going to be new, but it’s rarely going to be bad like when you fumble around because you don’t know each other or are too drunk. Or at least one bad performance won’t preclude having sex again like it might in casual. Also, you don’t have dry spells, this is speaking as a man obviously.

Marriage isn’t really about sex, so if you are asking what is the point in that regard it’s kind of a nonsense question. Getting married is about starting a family.

Few-Laugh-6508 · 2024-02-19T16:59:28+00:00

Casual sex is a purely physical experience. Married sex is an all encompassing intimate experience that is much more than physical.

Barneysparky · 2024-02-19T16:23:13+00:00

Are you asking for someone to tell you sex is better when you love someone?

It is, but if the only reason for you to have a relationship is sex you will never know.

Lift_and_Lurk · 2024-02-19T16:38:55+00:00

Casual sex is like arriving at party at someone’s place you don’t know and they go “go ahead and mix us a drink!” So you go up to whatever they got in their liquor cabinet and you start looking to see what you can make. They might have stuff you like they might have stuff only they like, they might be missing things that you’d think they should (no vodka at all?) but eventually you put some things together. Maybe it’s good, maybe it’s not so good- maybe they say “that’s cool- you should come back and make this with me again”. most the time it’s not gonna be the “perfect drink”, but you can still have a good time with what you got for the night.

Married sex is ilike having your own fully stocked home bar that you have taken the time to make sure both of you have all the things you both like. From the top shelf “special occasions” stuff to the go to favorites made the way both of you know you like it. And everything in between. And even a few adventurous things you both tried together (with a list of new things you want to try)

krayon_kylie · 2024-02-19T16:29:38+00:00

masturbation feels better if you love yourself right? same principal

trying to put things in terms you would understand!

ReplacementPasta · 2024-02-19T16:52:53+00:00

Well, casual sex left me feeling down and empty. Didn't try it again.

purplish_possum · 2024-02-19T16:34:38+00:00

3rd date sex isn't casual -- you're dating.

ComfortableJeans · 2024-02-19T16:39:25+00:00

Personally, one is amazing, the other is a chore I'd rather not do with a stranger.

SIeight_of_Hand · 2024-02-19T17:27:40+00:00

M/H complex much?

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Valuable-Marzipan761 · 2024-02-19T16:36:02+00:00

Martied sex is less exciting but more consistently good. You know what each other like so it's more satisfying, but you don't have tge passion where you're doing it every chance you get.

Married sex is good, but don't get married just for the sex. It's not worth it.

Relative_Bee8356 · 2024-02-19T19:47:14+00:00

If there is little or no difference, what's the point of getting married as opposed to serial monogamy or friends with benefits?

Are you aware that people decide to enter into relationships/marriages based on more factors than just sex? Genuine question.

All my boyfriends started as hookups. We had unusually great sexual chemistry but if we hadn't aligned on a lot of non-sexual stuff they would have stayed hookups.

-Shes-A-Carnival · 2024-02-19T21:37:08+00:00

casual sex is a crap shoot thats very often terrible (for me, casual sex meant ONS and hookups) or at least unremarkable. LTR and marriage sex is orders of magnitude better because I never LTRed a man who wasn't immediately amazing in bed. also i did sexual things for BFs and then my husband I'd never do for some guy i just met

63daddy · 2024-02-19T16:30:24+00:00

Married sex is good for having kids and raising them in a family environment. Serial monogamous sex is good for having relationships you can walk away from without paying a huge penalty and start another when the sex or relationship goes bad.

Only you can decide which fits best with your priorities.

Proof_mongol9135 · 2024-02-19T16:30:38+00:00

marriage is cheaper than casual

purplish_possum · 2024-02-19T16:32:29+00:00

There's very little difference between good casual sex and married sex. Married sex on average may be better but that's only because people generally don't get martied when the sex is bad. Classic selection bias.

ughtheinternet · 2024-02-19T17:18:20+00:00

“If there is little to no difference, what’s the point of getting married”

You realize that regular access to sex isn’t the main reason most people get married, right?

Safinated · 2024-02-19T17:27:29+00:00

Uh….you’re not married or in a monogamous relationship when you’re having casual sex?

Shoddy-Cherry-490 · 2024-02-19T17:34:14+00:00

I would wager that the best sex is during the honeymoon phase of a relationship. In the first couple of years (time frames vary of course), when the novelty and primal excitement hasn’t worn off yet but you also know what you are working with.

Beyond that honeymoon phase, it requires a certain amount of effort and lots of communication to keep things interesting to keep the desire fueled! Unfortunately, it’s easier to fall into stale patterns that can make the sex a lot less exciting.

As for casual sex, I think it’s a mixed bag at best. Yes it can be fun in the heat of the moment and if you are open minded it can even be quite good.

But perhaps the real question is a different one. Do you treat sex like a sport/exercise or do you treat it like a form of art?

JadeGrapes · 2024-02-19T19:01:06+00:00

Sex gets better the more you have sex with the same person.

The most awkward time you have sex with a specific person is the first time you have sex with them.

I literally just said this on another comment last week;

Sex is a physical skill that involves teamwork. You would not expect a band to be amazing if it's their very first time playing together.

theReaders · 2024-02-22T00:02:25+00:00

I get so confused when men ask what a woman gets out of casual sex. What do men get out of casual sex, and why do you think it doesn't apply to women? Why do you want casual sex if you assume women don't enjoy it?

Sharp_Engineering379 · 2024-02-19T16:25:25+00:00

value proposition is for having casual sex only 1-3 dates into a relationship.

?? Same reason men enjoy sex? Because it feels good.

MiddleZealousideal89 · 2024-02-19T17:32:47+00:00

Married sex is better. You get a consistently good experience because you're with someone who knows what you like and what works for both of you. Casual can be fun too but it's going to be ''fine'' at best.

Ok-Dust-4156 · 2024-02-19T17:22:12+00:00

Married sex is just there, you don't have to worry about it. Just like you don't have to worry about lots of different things.

Obvious-Produce2720 · 2024-02-19T17:32:50+00:00

Married woman. But im going to say this from what my father always said. My father was a player. I mean a player. I am one of 4 sisters, all different moms. He got around.

My father would always say "i know when im married to this person, im committed they are committed. Sex when married is about me and my wife." My father is old around 64.

But ill references a more modern thing Living Single by Big Sean

"We get ahead, yup, she give me head, damn right You know it ain't right if she ain't by my side With this crazy, crazy world Thank God I'm with my girl

To the one girl guys who claim they don't need more Like my ***** Henry, he married at 24 I'm like why **, why? You supposed to be with her longer than your ass been alive? He like "ahhh" Fuck it, we about to do therapy Ayy, at least when I hit the doctor I'm care free with no plan b's You probably never got tested and have that type of clarity I'd rather live my life with that lifetime guarantee But I'm down to hear the stories 'bout what your hoes do It's probably more entertaining than me talking 'bout my wife down in Whole Foods Or how I'm with her I feel whole too Go on, keep living that life you ** know you too old too Fuck it, I started laughing and pretend like I ain't listen Even though he on target with everything I've been missing The closest thing I had to that came in at 4 AM and out at 8 for work And I'm the reason we ain't made it work That's what make it worse, damn"

Im married, hopefully for the long haul, and there is a knowing this person is beside you for the rest of time.

doggiedoc2004 · 2024-02-19T17:52:08+00:00

Married sex much better for me! I’m still very attracted in all ways to my hubs after 16 years. He is a very attentive partner in all things, including sex. Frequency is good and now more dependent on his refractory time. We both always get off consistently.

The few casual hook ups I had sucked. Didn’t get off. Guys were dismissive and uninterested in my pleasure or getting to know me at all. Stopped doing that pretty quickly once I learned how a lot of guys are.

alotofironsinthefire · 2024-02-19T18:34:12+00:00

Between casual and long term partners sex; emotional intimacy, understanding and knowing your and your partner's likes/ dislikes

Difference between marriage and long term cohabitation; legal rights and benefits.

Sweaty-School1185 · 2024-02-19T18:39:39+00:00

Differences between casual and married sex

One is more consistent, and the other usually ends in a dead bedroom. But usually, my casual Partners turn into long-time friends would benefit.

I get more excitement and effort as well as intimacy compared to someone who gives less effort & more excuses. For some people in a marriage, Sex begins to feel like a chore for one or both.

GlobeUnited · 2024-02-19T18:44:46+00:00

It probably depends on lot on the particulars of the people in question, but speaking for myself, 21+ years of marriage, married sex is definitely way better than casual sex. The main reason is 21 years in, I feel like we're still perfecting exactly what works best, and I really appreciate the relaxation factor, casual sex was always generated a lot of nervous energy for me.

But I suppose if two "pro's" got together casually, maybe that would be just as good or better, because they've been perfecting the art of it separately, and then they get the added excitement of novelty. But I suppose minus the intimacy, which does matter to a lot of people, I think. It's never become anything close to boring, but maybe that's just me.

ConanTheCybrarian · 2024-02-19T21:46:46+00:00

married sex is better if you have a good connection with your partner and communicate well (including about sex). They know what you like, you have the freedom to experiment and not run into unexpected boundaries, there's no insecurity, there is an intimate connection that is unmatched and literally cannot be described if you haven't experienced it.

married sex is worse if you're not solid in other areas of your marriage.

so I guess, if you are unwilling or unable to do the inner and interconnected work needed to have a healthy, open, secure connection with your partner over time, stick with casual. But you'll always be missing out on real intimacy.

autumncolors816 · 2024-02-20T03:12:19+00:00

Married/Cohabiting sex vs casual random sex.
Only if both parties enjoy it. My preference is exclusive sex because I like to let myself go and not hold back.

For instance-married/cohabiting sex- random fucking all over the house whenever you want it. No condom, fucking constantly.

As opposed to casual sex and vetting people hoping they don’t have COMMUNAL dick!!!

grown_folks_talkin · 2024-02-20T07:47:19+00:00

In a committed relationship you’re more likely to have a fuck-sleep-fuck-repeat lazy weekend day.

Also the committed person is more likely to be your ideal type or done the necessary to become your ideal, and you theirs. So at least for a few years there’s gonna be hot sex by definition. That often wears off, but we’re talking a few YEARs of great sex which is cool.

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Title	Differences between casual and married sex
Author	throwawaytanuki76
Upvotes	0
Comments	85
Date	February 19, 2024 4:07 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1auqwzf/differences_between_casual_and_married_sex/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/differences-between-casual-and-married-sex.1245844 https://theredarchive.com/post/1245844

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