Do men need variety?

mus_b_nuthn · 2026-02-25T19:40:54+00:00

Not by the actual definition of “need”.

MarioWilson122 · 2026-02-26T03:26:21+00:00

Well not need but it can feel like one. Of course, it’s one of those things that a man has to either be model tier or very high finically or status wise to smoothly pull off. Since most women will want their man exclusively to themselves and for no one else. So, in order to pull this off most men will have to sneak around to doit. So most men love the idea but know it’s not reality in most situations, so tell themselves that not having it is the correct way of doing it.

TopShelfSnipes · 2026-02-25T19:32:03+00:00

No.

When you find what you're looking for, you won't want variety.

Usually when the itch for variety pops up, it's a sign you're not happy in your current relationship. Or it's just being single and nobody's really impressed you enough that you want to consider committing to anyone at the present time.

Zabadoodude · 2026-02-25T20:15:43+00:00

Variety is fun, but most men don't need it. Most men can be happy with one good woman by their side.

SomeSugondeseGuy · 2026-02-25T20:45:26+00:00

Don't need it.

Personally I don't even want it.

harmonica2 · 2026-02-25T21:32:14+00:00

I have a girlfriend but I knew that if I ever broke up to have variety or she did to have a variety, I would be devastated for doing so and it would just feel wrong. .So monogamy is where I feel happiest and greatest about myself with the most cell respect.

RidingRedHare · 2026-02-25T22:46:48+00:00

Some men do. I don't. The only time in the past I felt that way, I ended the relationship because it was broken.

wtknight · 2026-02-25T19:27:07+00:00

No. I like my wife as a person so I don't need variety. While I see the appeal of variety for some people, both my wife and I tend to be jealous people, so I don't think that either of us would want to see each other involved with someone else.

I think that if women meet a man who likes and respects her enough as a person then he is not going to feel some urge

Vaudeville_Clown · 2026-02-25T20:11:09+00:00

I'll answer no, but I'm an outlier.

I can't bring myself to find any stranger interesting like that. Also, my attraction is very egocentric and defensive. I can't feel that way about anyone who isn't completely into me first.

The logistics of that is so complicated, and my relationship is +10 years now so I can't even identify that need, no.

Questions about whether I'm content in my relationship happens from time to time, but that's different.

Then it helps reading about how awful dating has become. You really don't want to go out there again.

Jip_Jaap_Stam · 2026-02-25T19:46:36+00:00

I like looking at other women, but never more than a quick glance, and I wouldn't dream of approaching one because cheating is shitty behaviour. Do I "need" to look? Probably not.

coochie4sale · 2026-02-25T20:32:40+00:00

Lol no.

Searching for a woman who likes me that I also like is painful and excruciating. I’m not ruining that for a passing “some hot ass would be nice” thought.

Otjahe · 2026-02-25T20:53:14+00:00

Yes when in my first serious relationship (though I was 100% loyal - I was looking at girls online and outside). Being in a new relationship now with who I feel is the love of my life, no other girl catches my eye no matter how "objectively attractive". And could I live a hundred more lives I’d choose her all hundred times if she’d let me. And when other girls flirt with me it feels like it’s my sister or best friend flirting with me. Needless to say this is the first time ever I’ve actually felt so deeply in love to this extent.

That said, people are different. Some couples both individuals could lust over others and neither would care. It’s probably even common.

SlickPiccolo · 2026-02-26T00:12:48+00:00

Is it really that much different from one woman to another? So much that it’s worth sabotaging a good situation that you already have?

Part of growing up is finding ways other than sexual adventures to make your life interesting and exciting.

Kapoue · 2026-02-26T03:07:46+00:00

I don't get bored of my girlfriend because I love her and just being in her presence makes me happy.

But if I'm dating for casual sex, I love variety. I tend to date multiple women at the same time and don't usually "stay with them" more than 2-3 months. Once the novelty wears off, there's a good chance it'll end and I'll go swiping again. To meet new people, to discover new bodies.

It's not something I need, it's something I like and that I can have.

Junior_Ad_3086 · 2026-02-26T21:07:25+00:00

i don't need variety when i'm in an actual happy relationship and my needs are being met. i don't get bored being with the same woman for years in those cases. if i'm not happy, i just break up.

that being said, i think younger guys can certainly be tempted by variety and actively seek it out - i know i have before. when you don't have much experience and are fueled by testosterone, things look different.

as i got older, going on dates with new women frequently has become exhausting rather than fulfilling if anything.

Shoddy-Cherry-490 · 2026-02-25T20:56:26+00:00

There is the Coolidge Effect and that is really all there is to this “need for variety.”

And in fact it’s not so much that “men need variety” as much as it that the prospect of sexual novelty excites men in ways that it doesn’t excite women. Whether one acts on that impulse is a different matter of course.

CelicnisGhost · 2026-02-25T20:07:38+00:00

I wouldn't say I NEED it.

I feel a great desire for it.

But I'm not an animal. I can control myself.

LysanderAegis · 2026-02-25T19:38:50+00:00

No. I'm happy with my girlfriend and not seeking anything outside the relationship.

Pro-IDGAF · 2026-02-25T20:09:06+00:00

when i was young yes. even when i had a gf that didnt bore me i still seeked moar, so i didnt stay with one girl very long. it was more about the novelty of new, i guess. it had nothing to do with who/what they were and in fact, i dumped some girls that would have made really great long term gf's. i probably wasnt the norm though. most of my friends didnt chase the next in line but women also hit on me all the time so...its their fault (J/K)

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Past-Shoulder-631 · 2026-02-25T22:52:09+00:00

Men desire it and men in positions of wealth and power will inevitably get it. Depends on a man’s own personal ethics and his commitment to his spouse but I would say men DESIRE variety, not need it. It’s possible to be entirely sexually fulfilled with one loving partner

DecisionPlastic9740 · 2026-02-26T09:02:31+00:00

No, most would be happy with one women for lifelong monogamous relationship

Logical_Breadfruit49 · 2026-02-26T09:07:51+00:00

I fantasize about different ethnicities and body types of women and I don't expect this to change even if I got married. I would still love my wife and try my best to be faithful, but the desire to experience different types of women is not something I think will ever go away for me. Note that I have no desire to experience love with all these women. Love is something I can only have for one person. But I would still strongly desire sex with them.

Does that make sense? I can clarify more if needed.

Icy-Gene7565 · 2026-02-25T20:20:22+00:00

Need - no

Want - yes, given no context

Lift_and_Lurk · 2026-02-25T20:40:05+00:00

When you marry an interesting person, you never get bored. And growing together is part of the joy of getting older

Ego73 · 2026-02-25T19:53:40+00:00

I'm a virgin, but I really imagine getting good sex wouldn't be that easy. If things are working with a woman, and we enjoy each other, that really is enough.

Not that there would be no point in looking out for options, but I doubt anything important would come out of that.

Gravel_Roads · 2026-02-25T19:58:41+00:00

No. I even have an open relationship with my partner of over 25+ years, and honestly I haven’t bothered looking for anyone new in nearly a decade.

When you’re in love, staying up all night talking can feel better than having a quick lay with a rando who you want to leave when you’re done.

petellapain · 2026-02-25T22:04:37+00:00

Yes. It will never go away. The only thing that goes away is the options or leverage to enjoy that variety.

fucksiclepizza · 2026-02-25T23:13:55+00:00

Research suggests its actually women that require variety.

HTML_Novice · 2026-02-25T20:42:37+00:00

Can you eat the same dinner for the rest of your life? Do you find yourself getting bored of the same food and feel like you want variety?

Title	Do men need variety?
Author	No_Personality5381
Upvotes	2
Comments	122
Date	February 25, 2026 1:17 PM UTC (5 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1recyc1/do_men_need_variety/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/do-men-need-variety.1574238 https://theredarchive.com/post/1574238

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