Does Any Man Actually Do Better On Dating Apps Than In Real Life?

FutureBannedAccount2 · 2023-12-21T06:28:15+00:00

I get more quantity on apps but better quality in person and that’s really just because it’s easier to get someone’s vibe in person so you know to bail out whereas on apps it’s a sunken cost thing

AntiHypergamist · 2023-12-21T11:04:29+00:00

Good looking men always do well on the dating apps. Men who have poor social skills but a good looking face will do much better on dating apps which don't require you to talk at all, just post your pictures and send texts. Also short men do better.

AloneOnTheStrange · 2023-12-21T06:42:56+00:00

I definitely found apps way easier than real life. First there's quantity, and ability to get more out of a specific niche. In real life you never know if they're being friendly or flirty, until you take that leap of faith. But there you know everyone's looking to date.

There's also more of an etiquette with these dates, so it's easier to know if both of you are on the same page.

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BootyMessiah · 2023-12-21T10:47:45+00:00

When I was in my early 20s, I got a lot of matches, dates and hookups on apps but the women I met in person were more attractive and compatible. The women I met in person were also less flaky.

Later when I began to use better photos, had a better sense of style, and more of a direct/self-centered/masculine mindset I got more matches, dates & hookups with attractive women online. I also did FaceTime calls to reduce flakes and ensure compatibility. Hinge was also a game changer and I found it far superior to Tinder & Bumble.

FebruaryEightyNine · 2023-12-21T12:30:38+00:00

I'm not single anymore but I've dabbled in them a few years back and I actually met my fiance on them some time ago. Before I used to do better on apps, there was a large pool of people. In the relatively recent time I used them though it got considerably worse. A lot of gamification and pay to play was introduced which made it impossible to use. I would get tons of matches (about 40-50 when I briefly signed up to Bumble within the first week...without paying) but so, so few would lead to conversations. This seems markedly different to when I was using them extensively back in 2015-2019. Back in the day when I got on Tinder I had about 300+ matches and about 500 or so when I first used the app maybe 10 years ago or so.

Whats interesting about apps was that I found it very difficult to actually meet people. I do think race played a factor. I'm an insanely muscular and very tall black guy. I had no issues meeting and vibing with black women but white/asian woman were way more difficult to get to commit to meeting. Its like they liked/appreciated my looks but weren't ready to make that jump to dating. Interestingly enough, when I used POF for a short bit of time, that was the easiest for people to commit to meeting up. The most recent time I used them, in 2021, it was an absolute nightmare, and thats despite having a stellar profile. Amazing professional pictures, visible height, worked in a prestigous company...I felt the women had taken an absolute tumble in quality. Not looks wise though, more so in attitude. Way more seemed needlessly combative and bitter. LOL spooked me and my fiance into ending our falling out and seperation.

Real life seems to be an interesting one though. I'm someone who has absolutely no qualms about approaching a woman, no matter how hot, anywhere. I still do it now just to keep my flirt muscles lol. If its on a night out I tend to find women are easy, like...easier than ever before. Could probably get a ONS every other time I went out. "Daygame" has become waaay harder though. I used to date women from the gym and it was an easy pick up spot for me pre-pandemic. Now though? Its the complete opposite. When I talk to a woman in the gym and ask her some basic questions I've been hit by "I'm uncomfortable with a guy asking what you're asking" which has never happened before. Stranger danger even among adult women is definitely a new thing.

boom-wham-slam · 2023-12-21T09:33:36+00:00

I do great online because I weed out alot of women I'm not interested in and can reach into better social circles I don't meet IRL. Ie my gf is 16 years younger than I, where was I supposed to meet her? It's sometimes hard to find younger women to hit on. I also prefer non city women, I live in a small city, everything is in the city, where do I meet a farm girl? We have farms but what's my occasion to go to a farm and on top of that, meet a girl there? Smh. So OLD really helps with that stuff.

Soloandthewookiee · 2023-12-21T12:27:27+00:00

Yes. I am an average looking guy and I cleaned up on apps because I take good pictures, I'm good at differentiating myself in conversation from the hundred other dudes saying "hey", and I was always tweaking my profile to figure out what worked best.

I'm terrible at approaching IRL because I hate small talk and I'm not good at striking up conversation when I know nothing about you.

Dating apps aren't for everyone and that's OK. I just don't understand the need for so many people (especially dudes on this sub) to insist that because dating apps didn't work for them, they can't work for anyone.

h1shman · 2023-12-21T17:41:42+00:00

Definitely get more women with OLD but more attractive women IRL. I’m maybe a 7/10 6’ and have a really great profile. I don’t think my experience is normal.

GreatSmashPlayer · 2023-12-21T08:22:14+00:00

Not me. I can go downtown on any given night and easily get laid that same night. But when it comes to apps, I can spend months swiping without even getting a first date. Apps really only work well for certain types of men. Handsome men, men who fit into specific niches or styles, photogenic men, rich or famous men, white men, and older men typically perform better than average on dating apps. I'd consider myself decently attractive but for some reason I'm just extremely unphotogenic. It is what it is.

SeveralLiterature980 · 2023-12-21T11:01:38+00:00

Dating apps are 1000% more efficient than real life.

If you get a system in place to minimize wasted time and maximize benefits, it's pretty easy to clean up.

Suzcval · 2023-12-21T12:01:31+00:00

Depends on the metric. You could make the argument sleeping with 1 woman is more valuable than matching with 5000 that all say they want you but nothing ever happens. That being said, I would say the only people dating apps truly benefit over real world dating the most are people who are socially malformed but physically attractive, but that's already a fairly small subsection of people anecdotally speaking.

SlowEffective8146 · 2023-12-21T16:58:59+00:00

I don't have a big social circle and I'm older than college aged, so yes I get WAY more women from dating apps than real life. In 2023 I barely ever approach in real life anymore.

Gold_Supermarket1956 · 2023-12-21T21:18:27+00:00

The opportunities I got on apps always fizzled out because people can't focus on one person they bounce around between to the next better dude

MikeArrow · 2023-12-21T06:26:35+00:00

I do equally well on both.

CraftyCooler · 2023-12-21T11:43:52+00:00

For me it was much better, but the reason was probably total lack of women in my surroundings lol. I was going out quite often and sometimes there were single girls around and they were even initiating conversation themselves, but tbh I was rather focused on having a good time than on looking for a girl.

blarginfajiblenochib · 2023-12-21T12:04:50+00:00

For me yes - I just found it easier to use apps because after college/grad school, the opportunities to meet new women my age became restricted to friends’ get togethers, bars/clubs, or through work (though I would never approach a coworker in any of my jobs). It was nice being able to match with women on like a random Tuesday night, using an app, instead of having to wait until the weekend when I could go out, and even then I wasn’t a big fan of bars/clubs.

Plus, with dating apps the woman has already shown some interest in you. IRL you have to deal with the weird shit women do to get your attention, the stupid games, etc - people do stuff like that on apps too, but you can just unmatch and not have to deal with them again lol

wtknight · 2023-12-21T12:12:17+00:00

Not apps, but I always did much better meeting women online than in real life - using things like chatrooms and message boards. This is because I have social anxiety and therefore attracted women more by getting to know them from a distance first rather than initially talking face to face with them. Once I got to know women first by messaging/texting, then it was much easier to talk to them face to face when we met.

Dating apps are mostly difficult for men because of the gender skew of many more men using them than women, and because many (but not all) of the women using them are using them for hook-ups with high-value men and not to find actual relationships.

The_Texidian · 2023-12-21T12:25:48+00:00

Neither for me. Apps gave me some of the worst dates of my life. In person never worked out for me.

AceOfSpadesGymBro3 · 2023-12-21T13:20:47+00:00

When I was single I tried Match and put up like one photo. Never got any responses but didn't really get into it. In real life though, I was dating multiple women.

RedditAlt999 · 2023-12-21T13:25:39+00:00

I do, but then again I refuse to approach irl, so I guess "error, divided by 0".

Lift_and_Lurk · 2023-12-21T14:11:47+00:00

My bro does better on apps because he’s a single dad of 2 (ex moved out of state) and so he doesn’t really have much time as a busy dad to “go out” looking much. But (and I’m not sure what app he’s on) being a happy but busy dad works well for him and makes it easier to get “hey I’ve only got this weekend to get together for the next week or so” work really well as a closer.

Unique situation, I get it. But he’s gotten good LTRs from OLD while not really trying that much IRL

VTHokie2020 · 2023-12-21T14:34:46+00:00

Yeah, but the conditions have to be just right. Not me, I do relatively better irl.

But in my friend group - engineers in the suburban midwest - there are some guys who figured out how to "hack" the system.

Raising your elo on the algorithm via good pics, paying the sub, proper swiping, etc. is actually easier than going out and meeting women naturally (for them).

KayRay1994 · 2023-12-21T15:01:08+00:00

Define “better” - in real life I have less options but generally do better with them cause I’m one of those “grows on you” types of people in terms of personality - plus repeated meetings works to my benefit. In dating apps I get a lot of matches and some dates, but 99% of the time they go nowhere. So the apps have more options, but more options doesn’t inherently mean more results - especially when you consider you’re competing with so many other guys even when you get a match, you pretty much have to be exactly what she’s looking for throughout (and tbh i can’t blame women for this cause when i opened my dating apps up to men as well, i started developing a very similar mentality - its overwhelming and you wanna trim down as much as possible)

Acceptable-Truck3803 · 2023-12-21T15:47:48+00:00

I used to do really well on dating apps before the age of 32. Are used to have to travel for work, and every other week I would travel. so my main place to meet people was in the gym, hotel bar, or online. Just being 25 with your own place was almost a cheat code until 33. A couple good relationships came from all of those places. A lot of really fun hook ups happened too. And of course you meet people you normally wouldn’t connect with and you don’t want to see them again.

I can swipe while I’m in the bathroom , and if she likes me too, we have a quick Convo, and set up a date. It’s dating on easy mode/minimal effort.

Jakeeagle1983 · 2023-12-21T15:49:41+00:00

I do better/well on apps because I’ve worked alone for the past fifteen years, I’m naturally introverted, most of my remaining friends are married plus hang with other married people, and I had to ditch my biggest friend group about five years ago over partying constantly.

Apps have vastly improved my social skills and I’ve met a lot of cool women on them with just a few horrible/crazy ones sprinkled in. I’m glad I used/use them although they can be super frustrating at times. I just delete and take a three month sabbatical from them and have been doing that for slightly over a year that I’ve been on them.

Patience is the biggest key with them. The apps are like three to one men to women. Even a 1.5 ratio isn’t ideal. I get a lot of attention compared to what I see from most men in the app subreddits but 95% of it is garbage and from women being frank I’m way more attractive than.

If I’m being super picky over looks/ good banter/ compatibility I’d say I can meet someone I’m truly interested in every two weeks to a month. I met two women I really liked and dated for a few months over the last year but baby daddy drama plus stress from work made me end both relationships.

If I don’t meet someone I can see a future with by spring I’m going to try meetups and take my cousin’s offer of being my wingwoman and socialize a lot more. I’m enjoying my hobbies right now and sporadic conversations on the apps.

Also want to say one of my apps has been acting fishy and I won’t go into detail about it but I had to involve the company twice before it got resolved. I’m still not sure if it’s working properly. They are definitely desperate for money these days and doing shady stuff imo.

mods_have_small_ween · 2023-12-21T19:38:30+00:00

Yes. I became chad and I have basically infinite options on the app. I can respond with a kiss emoji and immediately ask a girl out with basically 100% acceptance rate.

I can put absolutely zero effort in.

fyi before I became chad I was ghosted after 1-3 messages for over 4 years. So I have seen both sides.

IRL I gotta do my hair, wear nice clothes, actually go to a place women worth meeting are at. Its exhausting.

AidsVictim · 2023-12-21T20:48:14+00:00

I do yes. I generally don't like going to bars or the like nor am I compatible with women who do like that. I'm attractive enough that women will sometimes initiate conversation with me in a bar but they're not exactly "high quality" women.

If apps work better than real life for you- what are the issues? Lower quality women, lack of matches? Men here seem to complain on and on about the 80/20 rule, so it sounds like apps don't work at all for normal men?

Women are "lower quality" than IRL probably. But IRL quality women generally aren't interested at all in anyone who isn't in their friends group. The 2nd or maybe 1st most important divide in success with women besides looks is how well you fit in with the "social plan" of women. On OLD this generally doesn't matter too much, IRL it's life or death (with exceptions for the extremely attractive of course). I'm not a very social person so that basically reduces my chances to 0 with "normal" women IRL.

RIPGeorgeHarrison · 2023-12-22T00:28:10+00:00

I run into a lot more single women on dating apps than in real life

thisreallyisnotok · 2023-12-22T04:00:38+00:00

I don’t think there’s a single guy who has a better “ratio” on the apps than real life: attempts at getting a date to getting the date ratio. I’ve been rejected for a first date irl maybe once or twice?

I think perhaps in the aggregate you get more quantity on the apps but if you could somehow teleport irl and interact with the same amount of women irl, then you would still do better.

Title	Does Any Man Actually Do Better On Dating Apps Than In Real Life?
Author	DaveR_77
Upvotes	13
Comments	78
Date	December 21, 2023 6:22 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/18ngbym/does_any_man_actually_do_better_on_dating_apps/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/does-any-man-actually-do-better-on-dating-apps.1241275 https://theredarchive.com/post/1241275

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