How do you envision growing old in relationship?

Lysa_Bell · 2022-12-27T23:33:24+00:00

My bloodline will end with me. And no one shall remember my families name. It has to end with me. There is no going back.

Lift_and_Lurk · 2022-12-27T22:18:40+00:00

My plan is to retire down in FL with my wife and chill out looking at women in bikinis and she goes “remember when I used to dress like that” And I kiss her hand and tell her “you still look good to me”.

kokokimoo · 2022-12-27T22:54:26+00:00

I just want someone to go to the gym with, cook for, watch anime, cuddle & spend time, and have sex with tbh

If the love is still there when we’re old I plan on spitting out my dentures and giving him that toothless sloppy toppy in our nice house

If ain’t like this I don’t want it

MouthSandTeethTongue · 2022-12-27T22:10:16+00:00

Now what?

People aren't placed on this earth to entertain you.

2022-12-27T23:28:42+00:00

I’m a career woman, my husband and I don’t have any children.

I married a man I’m very sexually attracted to and completely personally compatible with. We don’t care if anyone remembers our name. We’re both high earners in our area. We’ll probably retire to South Carolina and just live out our days.

Both of us have siblings and siblings with kids, so we’ll give them everything when we pass.

propyl21 · 2022-12-27T22:11:19+00:00

Oof. OP you're playing with fire there asking these deep questions from a community of red pill men who can't see beyond their eye lashes.

But maybe they'll surprise me. Let's see.

Barely-moral · 2022-12-27T22:33:12+00:00

The beauty fades and strength diminishes. Now what?

The same life. Just slower. And being more careful and or medicated.

Just about all the pros and cons I’ve seen from men and women on this sub in what they like in a partner don’t really adresse the qualities that keep a relationship alive beyond the years.

I speak only about the long term.

Red pill guy—what will life look like fir you?

Same as today. Just slower and with more health issues.

For those who don’t want children—what will you leave behind?

Nothing. I am fine with that. Not that I would be here to care about it anyways.

Or are you fine with no one remembering your name after you’ve left this world?

I will not care. I would not exist anymore.

How secure do you feel about the endurance of your relationship when the energy of youth is gone, health wanes, and economic conditions shift?

Quite sure. I built a solid incentive structure.

Do you think the qualities you seek in a partner or the qualities in your current partner allow you to have a secure future?

Yes.

CimZim · 2022-12-27T22:33:43+00:00

How do you envision growing old in relationship?

I don't know, don't have a relationship like that yet. Might never have one, who knows.

For those who don’t want children—what will you leave behind?

Money and good memories for my nieces and nephews.

Or are you fine with no one remembering your name after you’ve left this world?

This will eventually happen anyway to everyone.

szclimber · 2022-12-27T23:35:40+00:00

Life is an existential crisis. As far as I can tell life is meaningless. We can create meaning for ourselves and loved ones but when we are gone that is the end. Relationships and children are often used as a distraction from the great void behind us and in front of us.

Sad_Top1743 · 2022-12-27T22:46:18+00:00

Beauty fades but you still enjoyed it for a time. Hopefully you married someone who you enjoy spending time with so it’s a long term friendship/family at some point.

Sex drive also diminishes with age hence all the old ppl on here out of touch with young dating economics.

Bikerbats · 2022-12-27T23:39:01+00:00

Married 31 years. Not much changes. Life goes on, you still do pretty much the same things.

chalkandapples · 2022-12-27T23:55:57+00:00

Weird question, you're partners now. I see all my grandparents just being happy with each other, they vacation, play chess, and support each other. I don't know if they're still having sex but who cares? You have someone that's got so many shared experiences with you, and always have someone that you know will be there if you needed help or just burnt out and want to rest for a bit.

You still have your own hobbies and stuff you like doing, having another person there, especially a person that knows you so well and understands the context of everything you say, is just a great thing.

Entiox · 2022-12-28T01:06:46+00:00

You’ve met someone. You date. Romance blossoms. You get married. 30 years in. The beauty fades and strength diminishes. Now what?

Eh, my girlfriend and I started dating when we were both 45, and that was 5 years ago. Given my family history of cancer I doubt I'll be around in another 30 years.

For those who don’t want children—what will you leave behind? Or are you fine with no one remembering your name after you’ve left this world?

I don't have children, and I've never wanted to have children. As for being remembered? I have no desire to be remembered when I'm dead. I have no family, or at least none that I communicate with, so I'll just be leaving behind a bunch of stuff that I've collected over the years that someone will have to deal with.

How secure do you feel about the endurance of your relationship when the energy of youth is gone, health wanes, and economic conditions shift?

My youth is gone already, my health isn't great, and we've had our economic position shift for the worse over the past few years, and we're still making the relationship work.

toasterchild · 2022-12-27T22:27:25+00:00

We are going to fuck our children up in new and interesting ways different from how our parents fucked us up. We will live in a home far below our means so we can more simply have the fun experiences that keep our relationship fun. We have our life planned so if one person loses their job we will be just fine, we just cut back on expensive workouts/ hobbies. We will save money so that when we are old and can no longer handle our energy grueling vacations we can just hang out at club med and make fun of the younger couples still dealing with whiny kids.

januaryphilosopher · 2022-12-27T22:47:13+00:00

I prioritise having a partner that is a good friend and eventually also family member. I feel secure because that's the kind of relationship you can have for live. It's not rooted in good health (and thank goodness, because we don't even have that now) or youthful energy. Some people marry for infatuation, and I'd worry about their relationships lasting - but familiar, familial love, even with a romantic component, that does last and I've seen it lasting. I've been lucky enough to be surrounded by lifelong relationships growing up, and these people are best friends first and foremost.

On not having children. I will leave behind the impact that I had on the world, both on those who know me on those I did not, not that I care anyway as I will be dead. Once those who knew parents' names have passed they will be forgotten too, and my family and friends will make sure I'm known to exist just as long, not that it matters.

KikiYuyu · 2022-12-27T22:59:03+00:00

The beauty fades and strength diminishes. Now what?

We remain loving companions? Looking hot won't be the key. There will always be people hotter than me, and I wouldn't want anyone who cares so much about that anyway.

We'd find stuff to do together, things to work on. I'll be there, doing my part, giving love, normal couple stuff. If someone requires more than that, they aren't for me and I'll have to let them go.

reignoferror00 · 2022-12-27T23:21:48+00:00

Children at my age? Why don't you just throw a drowning man an anvil? Never wanted them and besides I no longer have the patience and energy. I'm mostly just coping day-to-day, week-to-week. Getting my fleeting moments of joy in every so often.

I'll leave behind a decaying corpse or some ashes. Not many give much of a shit now, can't see why it would be any better when I'm dead - especially if I outlive my parents. Maybe some false bullshit will be said at a funeral or a "celebration of life"; whatever is said or remember be as lasting as a fart in the wind.

Relationship was in zombie mode before the energy of youth took a big turn. If my job goes down the shitter we're essentially both screwed. Decade plus until retirement ... maybe.

Luciansleep · 2022-12-27T23:24:10+00:00

Done with military. Have a farm with dogs and livestock. Done with being a therapist. Sometimes running shower water for my wife after long days and cooking for her. Reading/ watching tv before bed and just cuddling each other going to sleep being all old and wrinkly as hell.

throwaway164_3 · 2022-12-28T00:23:41+00:00

Or are you fine with no one remembering your name after you’ve left this world?

Yup, absolutely. When you’re dead, it’s light out and eternal oblivion. How does it matter if you’ll be remembered? Wanting to leave a “legacy” is just ego masturbation. Death is the absolute end and extinction of the self.

Just live a good life, try to be curious learning and appreciating how the universe works, be kind to other creatures and try to make the world a little better for the next generation.

Hoopy223 · 2022-12-28T00:29:55+00:00

Gray hair

Love handles

Bifocals

Hopefully whatever woman I wind up with bakes cookies regularly

Abject_Bobcat_593 · 2022-12-28T00:38:40+00:00

Bro is making me depressed for not having a relationship “no one will remember your name” jesus

RocinanteCoffee · 2022-12-28T00:57:59+00:00

For those who don’t want children—what will you leave behind? Or are you fine with no one remembering your name after you’ve left this world?

I think there is more to life than leaving your name behind or enshrining yourself in a legacy. I do things to make someone's day less shitty and some of my work will make people's lives less shitty, but I don't care if my name is on a plaque somewhere or spoken from lips of one generation to another, no.

I feel very good about some day becoming middle aged and then old. Mostly because I have had mentors and aunts and just older women in the goth and music scenes who are very active socially, have seemingly great sex lives, some married, some deliberately abstaining from marriage, many who don't do anything extreme to hide their aging but are still interesting and in many ways lovely to behold.

I usually am attracted to people within ten years of my age; I expect as I become older/old this will continue.

I don't have any a strong preference for whether or not I'm in a relationship at a particular age and plan never to marry but I know I will be socializing in the spaces I am most comfortable in (nerd spaces, music spaces, night clubs, goth spaces).

ashpr0ulx · 2022-12-28T01:11:43+00:00

i’m in the south, we’re doing rocking chairs on the front porch and grandkids in the yard

2022-12-28T02:31:56+00:00

Continue being the same vibrant couple that we are but older until we eventually pass away. Hope our kids will be alright in the world in the time that we’re dead.

YaKnowEstacado · 2022-12-28T04:07:51+00:00

Trying to imagine what my life will look like in 30 years feels like hubris -- who's to say I'll even get 30 more years?

In 30 years I'll be 64 which is the same age my parents are now. My husband's mom didn't even make it to her 60s, she died of a very aggressive cancer at 57. Who knows what the future holds.

Right now I have my husband and my son and hopefully soon our family will grow more. I invest everything I can in those relationships every day so that hopefully they will thrive for as long as they last. But I try not to dwell too much on visions of the far off future because there is literally no telling what curveballs life will throw and I'd rather just focus on and appreciate today. Man plans, God laughs.

Willow-girl · 2022-12-28T04:22:33+00:00

We are growing old rather alarmingly fast here. AMA, lol.

gobblegoobleoneofus · 2022-12-28T06:37:22+00:00

For those who don’t want children—what will you leave behind? Or are you fine with no one remembering your name after you’ve left this world?

Do you remember your grandfathers name? What about your great grandfather.

Your name will be forgotten in 2-3 generations and when you are dead you won't care.

There are other ways to leave a mark like creating art or software that people use for generations.

As for myself, yes, when I die I want to be forgotten just like I'll forget everything that happened like it never happened in the first place.

BlueMountainDace · 2022-12-28T19:44:54+00:00

I want to explore all the things that life has to offer with my partner.

We have our first child who is 20 months old - I want to experience all the joys, sorrows, and frustrations that come with parenting.

My wife (31) is about to finish her medical training and I'm excited to see what her life is like now that she is just practicing the kind of medicine she wants.

I'm (33) hitting my career stride back in my home state and want to see how I can make life better for folks in my community and state.

There is so much stuff to see and do in the world and I want to take my family to see as much of it as possible before I die. In our short time together, about 8 years, we've been through a lot of ups-and-downs and, while I can't predict the future, I am not worried about how we navigate the troubles to come.

I can't wait to see what happens!

None0fYour8usiness · 2022-12-27T23:13:02+00:00

Not exactly redpilled but I do agree with some of it:

Spending the rest of my life with my partner in crime, retiring to a nice snowy place surrounded by foresty areas, watching our kids grow up and take on the world with pride, cuddling up together every night and enjoying this little spark called life in the dark of eternity. And fuckin' like rabbits well into our old age.

Now admittedly, I've never had a relationship for longer than 2 years, so I don't know if I'm cut out for the long haul. But what I do know is that I want it.

Early-Christmas-4742 · 2022-12-27T23:20:56+00:00

Niw we're an old coupke. Hopefully a lot of grandchildren. I don't see any reason being old woukd make us love each other less.

despisedlove2 · 2022-12-28T01:12:55+00:00

If you are wealthy enough and good looking enough for her not to divorce rape you, it will look like having to take care of a woman day in and day out after she spent a lifetime trying to upgrade and failing to do so.

I imagine if you are desperate enough to not be alone, you could make it work and forget all that. Any kids are not likely to be yours. So, you will likely leave some of your money for a foundation that helps people.

The9thElement · 2022-12-28T01:24:01+00:00

Im built different I can’t grow old 💯

Over_Noise3530 · 2022-12-28T02:41:39+00:00

I came up with 2 totally different plans:

Move in with an on again off again ex, assuming when he's older he will be done with his other hoes and ready to settle down.

Find a guy who's divorced and done with the responsibilities of raising children and just enjoy a fun time traveling and going out to eat

FlyV89 · 2022-12-28T05:30:56+00:00

Well I was seing my grandma (the woman who raised me, mind you) sleeping the other day, Alzheimer made her almost a vegetal by now, and when she's conscious, and this happens like 10% of the time she's awaken, she barely can recognize me, and I'm his first grandchild and I know for sure she loved me more than any of her own children.

I think my grandma being this way is one of the reassons why I broke up with my ex fiancee, she always talked about us growing old and I found this so fucking annoying, I was like "woman why the hell would I want you to take care of me if I get to that point down the road for fucks sake?"

I love guns, specially the old Colt 32' that belonged to my grandpa, so if someday I become an old crappy motherfucker I will put that on one side of my head and pull the trigger.

Not that I think about it often I mean, I'm 33 right now so I think I have like 30 years more ahead, but it's kinda decided already.

I believe in God thou and I think life is the most previous gift to men from God himself, so if I had to chose I would prefer it to happen in a useful way and without me having to reject God's grace, IDK like for example having the chance to give my life away to save somebody who wants to live and has something to live for right?

So if for some weird reasson God asks me why did I rejected what he gave to me I'm going to be like "well Pal hear me out, I wasn't using it anymore and I found some good stuff to do with it see?". I can't believe Dad would have a reasson to be mad with the logic of it.

That would be amazing.

But I already told God if he doesn't find me a good cause I'm pulling the trigger before getting too old. I'm not dying in a fucking bed sorrounding by beloved ones who suffer for my condition or have to take the decision of unnplug me.

_here_ok · 2022-12-28T07:48:25+00:00

I think the matter of the fact is people aren't really considering one simple emotion.

Attachment

Like I want to envision myself with someone I'm attached too. Attraction fades because not everything is gonna constantly be pulling you in anymore so it's sometimes best to just glue yourself to what you have.

2022-12-28T08:40:31+00:00

Hoping we do not end up killing each other

SwimmingTheme3736 · 2022-12-28T10:18:00+00:00

I’m married, we are both ageing.

Do we look like when we met? No, does it matter? No

Attraction is only the start. He is my best friend, the person I want to do everything with.

TheRedPillRipper · 2022-12-28T10:53:15+00:00

How secure

95% secure. We’re around 9 years in. I envision a few more house renovations/builds, as our kids grow. Once they’re off to uni; more travel. We both have a strong altruistic nature, so we’ll probably both still give a lot of our time.

Other than that I have a ton of goals to get through. Similarly will support her aspirations too. We have great discussions/debates, so I’m looking forward to that as well.

Godspeed and good luck!

TermAggravating8043 · 2022-12-28T11:40:50+00:00

I want to be one of those old couples, that still thinks there loads of places to travel, that makes the locals role their eyes, always ends up in the wrong places at the wrong time but laughs over the tiniest of things and still pranks each other.

Aiizimor · 2022-12-28T12:32:37+00:00

I dont anymore

Substantial_Video560 · 2022-12-28T13:04:11+00:00

No, as I don't envision being in a relationship. Ideally I would like to retire as early as possible and spend the rest of my life pursuing my hobbies and interests.

As long as I have a decent paying job, good health, a comfortable place to live and a wi-fi connection I'm a happy man! 😎

bluestjuice · 2022-12-28T15:58:48+00:00

Shenanigans galore.

abaxeron · 2022-12-28T17:26:07+00:00

The beauty fades and strength diminishes. Now what?

Gardening together, making moonshine together for fun, writing erotic fiction together because why the hell not, growing and planting rare tree saplings together, and you know what? Tons of video games. Eight hours a day. Something slow-paced, with contrast palette, and with pleasant music, specifically designed for old farts. Something that no other generation before could have enjoyed. On retro consoles, like filthy peasants. Or, on what will become retro consoles in 30 years.

md8716 · 2022-12-28T18:25:38+00:00

One of the best things about not waiting too long to have kids is that we were able to enjoy our youth, but are still relatively young once we go empty nest. By 60 I will have already been semi retired for 10 years and living abroad in my wife's country, entering full retirement around 61 or 62. We can stay really healthy by avoiding shitty American food.

At least one of our kids will probably be settled down by then and have kids of their own, since we culturally value family over career. Our future is incredibly secure because of my abilities and the quality of my partner.

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Title	How do you envision growing old in relationship?
Author	EBITDA-5x
Upvotes	5
Comments	79
Date	December 27, 2022 10:06 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/zwrozn/how_do_you_envision_growing_old_in_relationship/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/how-do-you-envision-growing-old-in-relationship.1145540 https://theredarchive.com/post/1145540

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