How far does your opposition to objectification / male gaze go?

SocrateandAthena · 2025-07-09T09:10:26+00:00

The concept of objectification doesn't "attack" anything. It is descriptive of an issue women face in society.

But to answer your question, men can fantasize and masturbate all they want in their own privacy, but they're expected to not bother anyone with it. Nobody wants to know what a stranger rando does with himself at night. Nobody wants to be involved without consent. So it's fine as long as they keep it to themselves and don't act weird when interacting with women. Just for you know, many women do it too, and most people - men and women - are perfectly able to live with their libido without forcing it to anyone.

_weedkiller_ · 2025-07-09T09:48:01+00:00

I’m confused what you mean by “attack men masturbating”??? Could you clarify? Fantasising about someone isn’t the same as objectification. You don’t need to objectify women to find them sexy or fantasise about them. I don’t care what you think about when you’re masturbating, but I do expect to be treated as a human being irl. The male gaze values sexualised representations of women at all times and in all places, without acknowledging the women’s strengths, achievements, feelings etc. It’s insulting.

A strip club is another time and place that might be appropriate to focus on sexy attributes.

I

attendquoi · 2025-07-09T12:32:28+00:00

If someone other than my husband told me he thinks about me while he masturbates, I'd be creeped out.

Makuta_Servaela · 2025-07-09T12:41:20+00:00

I've never known a guy adamantly against the idea of children having a light switch moment.

No. Objectification is the idea that women only exist to be eyecandy for men. No one said that men couldn't be attracted to women, or masturbate to the idea of women (in privacy, of course), just that it would be nice for men to see women as functioning human beings as complex as men are.

For example:

A heterosexual couple in a show have sex = Not Objectification

A heterosexual couple in a show frequently have sex, with all of the focus being always on the woman, with the sex clearly interrupting the actual show and adding nothing to the plot = Objectification

A female character happens to have cleavage out sometimes. = Not Objectification

A female character in a show is never or almost never allowed to wear anything that doesn't reveal and center her cleavage (while male characters get to wear whatever) = Objectification

A show where every or most female characters' only contributions are to throw themselves sexually at the male protagonist = Objectification

A show where the male protagonist happens to have a wife/girlfriend who likes to throw herself at him, but she has other character traits and roles in the story unrelated to her attraction to him = Not objectification

Mentathiel · 2025-07-09T19:28:58+00:00

Imo objectifying thoughts are fine as long as they're conscious (so they don't seep into unintended things) and not externalized (nobody real is treated or talked about like an object). I'd even say objectifying thoughts are healthy and natural, the problem comes when they seep into how you view and treat people outside of the confines of fantasy.

Excellent_Badger123 · 2025-07-09T09:51:09+00:00

Idk, I enjoy being objectified a little bit on a personal level. I don’t have objections to whatever men fantasize about or masturbate to in the privacy of their own home

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SocrateandAthena · 2025-07-09T13:11:52+00:00

What thought ? Feeling desire towaard someone ? No not per se. Just don't be a dick about it.

AllelWasHere · 2025-07-09T15:07:23+00:00

If you turn the volume off and watch the show it becomes a lot more obvious that the men are dressed to be characters and the women are dressed to increase viewership. It's always been this way.

It never bothered me unduly because women in real life did the same thing. Dressed for viewership more often than not

SnooCats37 · 2025-07-09T08:19:58+00:00

Women since ancient times have been seen as objects or commodities for men. Although in the last few years this has been challenged and women in the media have been given more active roles rather than passive roles, women in society are still viewed as objects.

There are times women want to be seen sexually when we are consenting to it, for example, when you are with someone you want to be intimate with, women who do only fans etc

In our every day lives though it would be nice to be seen as a person first.

Morgoth_Worshipper · 2025-07-09T07:57:10+00:00

It goes as far to the guys who only see women as sexual objects instead of equal human beings.

LucyintheskyM · 2025-07-09T08:42:46+00:00

FYI, link #1 is paywalled.

As for your discussion, I'd say that male and female sexuality diverge, which is where we find the problems we tend to have with each other. Women trend towards feeling aroused more by personality than looks, and vice versa. That's not to say that looks are irrelevant, just that for many women, a hot man with a shit personality won't be as attractive as a mid man with a good personality. I hesitate to say that even an ugly man with a good personality will attract women because this sub tends to "REEEEEE" at that, but personally I've felt very attracted to men who aren't conventionally attractive when they are good conversationalists.

With that out of the way, women tend to take issue with "the male gaze" for two big reasons. One, when men see women in the media portrayed as "sexy and insert desired personality characteristics here" they tend to ignore the other characteristics and focus on the sexy, ignoring anything else the woman could have brought to the table. Ie, "sexy" is their primary characteristic, portrayals of different bodies just aren't there.

Two; womens bodies in games and media, like many mens bodies, are often entirely unrealistic. But, as women trend towards being more aroused by sexy personalities, it's less of an issue for them than finding a man who is upset they they have any amount of body hair or fat rolls.

I did recently talk about this with a friend, and I agreed with him that games like BG3 are making strides in acknowledgement of more bodies and gazes of all flavours. Love that game.

Title	How far does your opposition to objectification / male gaze go?
Author	EnterEgregore
Upvotes	2
Comments	94
Date	July 9, 2025 7:42 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1lvctr0/how_far_does_your_opposition_to_objectification/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/how-far-does-your-opposition-to-objectification.1556689 https://theredarchive.com/post/1556689

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