How high is too high? (N-count)

geyges · 2019-05-24T13:03:41+00:00

Can I just say it?

0 most desirable
At around 5 is digestible
At 10+ it doesn't really matter anymore.

I wouldn't say that any n-count is too many for me. She could have worked in a brothel or be a porn star, and I'd be generally fine with it.

But if there's no good explanation for the high n-count, I'd be convinced that I'm just another number, and would be hesitant to commit. It depends on the character of the person more than the n-count.

KrispyMcSockington · 2019-05-24T13:06:22+00:00

To me the context is important. If she's still a virgin at 30 there's something wrong. Likewise if she has an n count of 20 at 19 it's also a red flag.

It's also unreasonable to assume she would stay completely sexless in her youth. Ideally she'd have a single digit n count and a history of having sex in committed relationships but once she closes in on about 20 I'd get worried. It does depend on context (someone in their 40s might have higher n counts) and if she's actually been able to stay in a relationship for longer than a few months.

passepar2t · 2019-05-24T12:03:53+00:00

Technically, I don't want to have a long term relationship with a girl who's had over 15-20 partners. But how would I ever know? She's not going to tell me and even if I asked her, which I wouldn't, she would just lie anyway. It's moot.

fuckdr11 · 2019-05-24T11:45:58+00:00

The women that I tend to be most attracted to for a serious thing are somewhere in the 10 - 30 range. As long as she has enough experience to know what she likes. And I'd prefer if her count is lower than mine (around 70), but that's not necessarily a dealbreaker.

FlavFal · 2019-05-24T13:18:11+00:00

The lower the better.

Atlas_B_Shruggin · 2019-05-24T14:15:31+00:00

If I liked a guy theres no number that would matter

marriage_is_hell · 2019-05-24T17:20:45+00:00

Any cocks other than mine is too many cocks.

PaintingOfJoan · 2019-05-24T11:26:50+00:00

No line for me, I’ve had partners with 50+ notches.

Barneysparky · 2019-05-24T11:37:34+00:00

I wouldn't date anyone who is ok with having sex with people they don't like and respect.

TheJim66 · 2019-05-24T13:37:58+00:00

The lower the better but I can probably tolerate up to MAYBE 20 if they are nowhere near my social circle.

poquitobalofao · 2019-05-24T14:05:50+00:00

You’ll never know if she doesn’t want you to.

If she does tell the truth, it’s usually because you’re a chill or laidback cynical guy.

Most hot women who enjoy sex don’t have low counts.

Most people don’t keep accurate tabs.

So why bother worrying? Shut up and dance.

angels-fan · 2019-05-24T14:23:44+00:00

N count isn't a number, it's an attitude.

Texastentialism · 2019-05-24T13:28:34+00:00

I have no idea. I just don't really care about this and never even thought about it until coming to this sub. I'm sure there's a number that if I heard it I'd say "You know what, that's too much for me, I'm out" but I have no idea where that line is and I'm actually not 100% sure it would be a deal breaker if I liked the guy enough.

Willow-girl · 2019-05-25T04:32:19+00:00

Anyone with more than me is a slut/manwhore. Anyone with fewer is a prude.

Workaholico · 2019-05-26T21:09:42+00:00

+90 partners around 25 years old to me is too much.

MGTOWKapow3 · 2019-05-24T11:23:42+00:00

I love this question, it crops up so often.

A woman basically asking what she has to whittle her N-count to in order to still be relationship material.

Do like most other women, don't count sex you had on vacation, one-night stands, and handjobs and oral sex.

Shadow_Of_ · 2019-05-24T14:10:44+00:00

1 and more is when it becomes a problem

CosmicBioHazard · 2019-05-24T14:19:13+00:00

My ask will always be strictly 0, but at the same time 1 is worse than 6 is worse than 20. If sex is meaningful to her still I then I refuse to be her second with some other guy hogging the glory of being first. If I'm forced to take someone who's done it before I'd rather she be numb to it and none of it mean anything.

Young_Oryx · 2019-05-24T12:26:10+00:00

As long as they don't have children or an STD, I literally don't care.

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atlantic68 · 2019-05-24T13:10:04+00:00

Count is irrelevant.

If theyre 50 plus youll know from their personality and avoid if you choose. A number isnt relevant

nemma88 · 2019-05-24T14:28:08+00:00

I agree with atlantic

It's not really a number it's a personality your avoiding, I avoid men who have a lot of casual sex, I look to men who are actively seeking a relationship. so numbers are generally in the range of people who have had relationships and the odd ONS or such. <20, but Its not a number I'm working to...

If someone was reformed it wouldn't likely be an issue.

QueenCousland86 · 2019-05-24T14:52:40+00:00

Not something I really care about. Also asking about it would make me look creepy.

Now if a partner specifically said something like they had only had a partner or two, then I learnt otherwise, that is different as it is the lies and deceit I would not like, not the n-count.

darudeboysandstorm · 2019-05-24T16:11:55+00:00

If you are STD free and you mentally check out, I think n count really doesn't matter one bit to me. I think an n of 0 would be too low though.

SkookumTree · 2019-05-24T17:44:09+00:00

I don’t know. 20 or 30? Not because of any moral beliefs about promiscuity but because we would have different beliefs about sex and love. And probably life.

_Neon_Shadow_ · 2019-05-24T21:46:28+00:00

For me? Anything above 12.

FatmanSlim93 · 2019-05-24T22:18:20+00:00

I mean it will mean different things to people who sleep around vs don’t. I don’t so I’d rather the number be lower than 5-10 but that’s me. It’s one of those things that people who sleep around will never understand, but I’ll never understand how people can sleep around and it means nothing.

lurkingconfused · 2019-05-24T23:18:07+00:00

I probably wouldn't have cared if my hubby had been with a bunch of women, as long as he never gave a shit about them. Although, if he'd had that sort of personality, I probably wouldn't have been as attracted to him. So for me, his n-count of one shitty STR was ideal for me.

That said, the n-count thing is such a common topic on this forum it fascinates me. It's pretty clear that it's a matter of taste, values, and type of personality thing -don't like high n, don't date them. Want a virgin? Fucking LOOK for one and try to be the kind of man/woman the type of virgin you want would WANT to be with.

Even the rationalizing I've seen here among men doesn't really have a point. Take the idea that n-count 2 is better than n-count 10-20. If she's had 2 and they were ltr's she might be hung up on at least one of them. If it's 15 at least a few dudes are remembering her as a fun time and nothing else.

Both scenarios attack the male ego in different ways so ultimately the # doesn't matter so much as how that particular man is processing it: does it bother him more that she's harboring fond memories of another dude, or if random dudes are harboring fond memories of nailing her?

It's all personal taste. I don't think there's any logic you can use to erase someone's gut feelings about this kind of stuff.

washington_breadstix · 2019-05-25T01:21:16+00:00

I live in the Midwest, where I sense that people are slightly less sexually exploratory than they are in more liberal coastal regions. Especially in rural areas you'll see plenty of people pairing off and even having children not all that long after high school.

So I would say that I'm a product of the culture I grew up in and would consider a double-digit n-count to be a red flag for a relationship.

But it's hard to quantify. And what I value even more than n-count is sexual consistency between relationships. I don't want a girl who used to be wild in bed with her past partners and now wants to have infrequent vanilla sex with me. In fact, I could probably overlook a moderately high n-count if it meant knowing that the girl would continue to rock my world in bed on the reg. I'm not one of those guys who expects my future partner to save her virginity for me and then suddenly become a porn star the minute she meets me.

Pastelitomaracucho · 2019-05-25T06:23:48+00:00

More than 15 is too high

Bruchibre · 2019-06-12T07:22:58+00:00

How many previous partners is too many for you?

Somewhere between 10 and 20. Depends on the age and the situation.

At what point do you draw the line between reasonable youthful misadventure and being a slut/fuck boy?

Everyone should have had 1 or 2 ONS, 1 or 2 FWB in their life.

Does the ratio of LTRs versus ONS change how you view this number?

Yes definitely. Been with 10 guys in 10 years? No big deal. Been with 10 guys in one year? Hmmmm no thanks.

pngmafia97 · 2019-05-24T16:00:22+00:00

22f here.

Barring permanent STDs, there is basically no upper limit to how many previous partners is too high for me.

My current SO and exes all had n>100. I do consider them (reformed) manwhores/fuckboys and I don't have a problem with that. I liked hearing their stories. My current SO and I double team picking up women together and it's helpful to learn from his insights.

They all had 1-2 serious LTRs. The rest of their n-count was made up of short-term dating or ONS. Given that I dated these people aged 20-25, I would be comfortable with up to maybe 3-4 LTRs.

For men, there is no such thing has too high of an n-count. Women who have n>50 trouble me because they seem too promiscuous. I know that number is shocking to most of y'all in this sub, but welcome to the sex-positive youth, I guess. Most women my age either fall into n<5 or n>20, both with 0-2 LTRs.

ScootsScoots · 2019-05-25T13:47:07+00:00

Depends on age. 10 partners at 21 is gross. 10 at 30 is fine.

I'd say if you're racking up a "monthly" count you're a hoe!

maljo24 · 2019-05-24T12:34:53+00:00

Ignore the N count.

SmurfESmurferson · 2019-05-24T15:16:05+00:00

N count is irrelevant

If he's giving off red flags of being a player or shady, then I'm out. If he's ever hit on one of my friends, he's out (and a lot of my friends are either bartenders or involved in the nightlife somehow, so they get hit on a lot)

Title	How high is too high? (N-count)
Author	QueenCousland86
Upvotes	5
Comments	183
Date	May 24, 2019 5:01 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/bscvdb/how_high_is_too_high_ncount/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/how-high-is-too-high-n-count.255633 https://theredarchive.com/post/255633

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