There is a Tiktock/Youtube content creator who goes by the name "hoe_math." A lot of you have probably heard of him, but I bet there are at least a few here who haven't. He presents videos on the dating market, typically using drawings and charts to explain his points. His opinions tend to be more on the tradcon/Red Pill side of things, but unlike many RP content creators who are a bit too adversarial for my tastes, I found most of his content extremely fair and insightful.
He also makes videos with female audience members in mind. So even though he's a man, he speaks to both men and women, and offers advice to both.
There is one video in particular I'm curious to see people's reactions about, as it offers a decent explanation for what women (generally) want, and why the advice men get on dating is sometimes ineffective or contradictory. There have a been a few posts on this sub recently describing issues this video addresses. It's about 20 minutes long. Here's a link. (Not sure if I'm allowed to share links to YouTube videos on this subreddit. If I'm not, one of the mods can scold me, and I'll remove it.)
---- TL;DW ----
If you don't have time to watch a video, here is the gist:
For men, attraction to women is a single parameter. We mostly value looks, personality, and exclusivity. The better she is in these respects, the more we like her.
For women, there are two parameters. Love, and Lust (the creator calls them Good Guy points, and Bad Boy points.) A man who does what women generally say they want (investing time, effort, money, looking clean cut, and being monogamous) is given a high Good Guy score. Doing these things doesn't, however, give him any Bad Boy points. Bad Boy points are a function of a man's physical attractiveness, and his status, power, competence, and confidence. They're the things that make most ladies horny.
The issue that confuses guys, is that if a man is high on Good Guy points, but low on Bad Boy points, he gets friend zoned. He could do everything women say they want, but not get what he's looking for in return. Similarly, a Bad Boy who treats women like garbage, might get a lot of sex, but he probably won't get a good relationship out of the deal.
Hoe_math offers the thesis that, to be successful in love, a man needs to have a certain amount of Good Guy points, and Bad Boy points. The ideal man, in womens eyes, is the "prince charming" who is both extremely loving and invested, but also extremely handsome and manly.
---- ----
I'm curious to know what people think of this model of dating dynamics. It's obviously a bit of an oversimplification, but I think it does a good job of describing the general behaviors I've seen from men and women in my life.
[–]ta06012022 30 points31 points32 points (15 children) | Copy Link
[–]demedermidimifemale woman 30 points31 points32 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]queen-of-dirtPurple Pill Woman 8 points9 points10 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Tall_Simple7307Red Pill Man 3 points4 points5 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]WattehfokManly Man so Masc You're Pregnant Now 4 points5 points6 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]RandomAttackHelpMe 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]No_Mammoth8801With Incels, Interlinked. No Pill Man 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]WattehfokManly Man so Masc You're Pregnant Now 5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]lolcope2Red Pill Man 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]lolcope2Red Pill Man -1 points0 points1 point (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]WattehfokManly Man so Masc You're Pregnant Now 1 point2 points3 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]lolcope2Red Pill Man 1 point2 points3 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]WattehfokManly Man so Masc You're Pregnant Now 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]lolcope2Red Pill Man 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]WattehfokManly Man so Masc You're Pregnant Now 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]RandomAttackHelpMe 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]campskills21Purple Pill Man 5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]wtknightBlue-ish Gen X Slacker - Man 12 points13 points14 points (30 children) | Copy Link
[–]Sir_SpectacularNo Pill Man[S] 7 points8 points9 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]DolphinPunkCyberPurple Pill Woman 0 points1 point2 points (7 children) | Copy Link
[–]wtknightBlue-ish Gen X Slacker - Man 0 points1 point2 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]DolphinPunkCyberPurple Pill Woman 0 points1 point2 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]wtknightBlue-ish Gen X Slacker - Man 0 points1 point2 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]DolphinPunkCyberPurple Pill Woman 0 points1 point2 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]wtknightBlue-ish Gen X Slacker - Man 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]DolphinPunkCyberPurple Pill Woman 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]wtknightBlue-ish Gen X Slacker - Man 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]g-panda101Purple Pill Man 0 points1 point2 points (13 children) | Copy Link
[–]wtknightBlue-ish Gen X Slacker - Man 4 points5 points6 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]g-panda101Purple Pill Man -2 points-1 points0 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]wtknightBlue-ish Gen X Slacker - Man 4 points5 points6 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]g-panda101Purple Pill Man -2 points-1 points0 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]operajunkiePurple Pill Woman 0 points1 point2 points (8 children) | Copy Link
[–]g-panda101Purple Pill Man 1 point2 points3 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]RandomAttackHelpMe 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]g-panda101Purple Pill Man 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]lolcope2Red Pill Man 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]operajunkiePurple Pill Woman 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]RandomAttackHelpMe 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]operajunkiePurple Pill Woman 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]RandomAttackHelpMe 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Silver_Past2313Nature Pilled Man -1 points0 points1 point (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]lolcope2Red Pill Man 3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]HTML_NoviceRed Pill Man -1 points0 points1 point (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]wtknightBlue-ish Gen X Slacker - Man 3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]lolcope2Red Pill Man 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]wtknightBlue-ish Gen X Slacker - Man 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]ReplacementPastaNo Pill Man 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]MongoBobalossus 19 points20 points21 points (9 children) | Copy Link
[–]obviousredflagScience Pilled Man 3 points4 points5 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]MongoBobalossus 2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]obviousredflagScience Pilled Man 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Tall_Simple7307Red Pill Man 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]OctoPuscifer -1 points0 points1 point (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Currentlycurious11 point [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]RandomAttackHelpMe -1 points0 points1 point (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]MongoBobalossus 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]RandomAttackHelpMe 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Just_Natural_9027 7 points8 points9 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]campskills211 point [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]WattehfokManly Man so Masc You're Pregnant Now 4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]shrimp_dicksPoople Pill Man 9 points10 points11 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]FourFingerRotationPurple Pill Man 3 points4 points5 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]RandomAttackHelpMe 1 point2 points3 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]FourFingerRotationPurple Pill Man 2 points3 points4 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]RandomAttackHelpMe 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]shrimp_dicksPoople Pill Man 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]RandomAttackHelpMe 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]KentuckyCriedFlickinCircle Pill Man 6 points7 points8 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]HTML_NoviceRed Pill Man 0 points1 point2 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]KentuckyCriedFlickinCircle Pill Man 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]RandomAttackHelpMe 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]HTML_NoviceRed Pill Man 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]RandomAttackHelpMe 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]PatrickstarhoPurple Pill Man 9 points10 points11 points (9 children) | Copy Link
[–]biscuitcatapultPurple Pill Man 5 points6 points7 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]Gold_Supermarket1956Purple Pill Man 1 point2 points3 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]biscuitcatapultPurple Pill Man 2 points3 points4 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Gold_Supermarket1956Purple Pill Man 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]biscuitcatapultPurple Pill Man 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]PatrickstarhoPurple Pill Man -1 points0 points1 point (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]biscuitcatapultPurple Pill Man 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]HTML_NoviceRed Pill Man 3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]No_Mammoth88011 point [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]Few_Advertising3430Blue Pill Woman 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]TheDerInDisorderPurple Pill Man 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Throwaway_wazooPurple Pill Man [score hidden] (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]Sir_SpectacularNo Pill Man[S] 0 points1 point2 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]Throwaway_wazooPurple Pill Man [score hidden] (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Sir_SpectacularNo Pill Man[S] 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Throwaway_wazoo2 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]cromulent_weaselPurple Pill Man 2 points3 points4 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Sir_SpectacularNo Pill Man[S] 2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]cromulent_weaselPurple Pill Man 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]SafinatedBlue Pill Woman 3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]thelajesticBlue Pill Woman 2 points3 points4 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]Sir_SpectacularNo Pill Man[S] 3 points4 points5 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]DolphinPunkCyberPurple Pill Woman 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]operajunkiePurple Pill Woman -1 points0 points1 point (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]HTML_NoviceRed Pill Man -2 points-1 points0 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]thelajesticBlue Pill Woman 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]obviousredflagScience Pilled Man 2 points3 points4 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]DolphinPunkCyberPurple Pill Woman 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]obviousredflagScience Pilled Man 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]jaybalvinmanBlack Pill Woman 4 points5 points6 points (16 children) | Copy Link
[–]bloopybooPurple Pill Man 1 point2 points3 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]jaybalvinmanBlack Pill Woman -1 points0 points1 point (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]bloopybooPurple Pill Man 1 point2 points3 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]blebbyrooPurple Pill Woman 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]bloopybooPurple Pill Man 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]blebbyrooPurple Pill Woman 0 points1 point2 points (10 children) | Copy Link
[–]Sir_SpectacularNo Pill Man[S] 2 points3 points4 points (8 children) | Copy Link
[–]blebbyrooPurple Pill Woman 4 points5 points6 points (7 children) | Copy Link
[–]jaybalvinmanBlack Pill Woman 1 point2 points3 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]blebbyrooPurple Pill Woman 2 points3 points4 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]jaybalvinmanBlack Pill Woman -1 points0 points1 point (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]Smooth_Giraffe7857 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]blebbyrooPurple Pill Woman 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Throwaway_wazoo1 point [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]DolphinPunkCyberPurple Pill Woman 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]DolphinPunkCyberPurple Pill Woman 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]spanglesandbambiPink Pill Woman 4 points5 points6 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Sir_SpectacularNo Pill Man[S] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]januaryphilosopherWoman/20s/Irish/UK/Maths teacher/radfem/healthy BMI/bi/engaged 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]SlowEffective8146Red Pill Man 1 point2 points3 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]operajunkiePurple Pill Woman [score hidden] (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]SlowEffective8146Red Pill Man -1 points0 points1 point (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]GreiratTheUndead2 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]bluepvtstormBlue Pill Woman 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]SyllabubSure5715 -3 points-2 points-1 points (14 children) | Copy Link
[–]spanglesandbambiPink Pill Woman 9 points10 points11 points (13 children) | Copy Link
[–]SyllabubSure5715 -4 points-3 points-2 points (12 children) | Copy Link
[–]demedermidimifemale woman 9 points10 points11 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]SyllabubSure5715 -2 points-1 points0 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]spanglesandbambiPink Pill Woman 4 points5 points6 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]SyllabubSure5715 3 points4 points5 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]spanglesandbambiPink Pill Woman [score hidden] (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]SyllabubSure5715 1 point2 points3 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]spanglesandbambiPink Pill Woman 5 points6 points7 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]SyllabubSure5715 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]LuvLaughLiveNo Pill 1 point2 points3 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]SyllabubSure5715 1 point2 points3 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]bloopybooPurple Pill Man 3 points4 points5 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]SyllabubSure5715 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]g-panda101Purple Pill Man -1 points0 points1 point (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]AutoModerator[M] 0 points1 point2 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]Lift_and_LurkMan: all pills are dumb 7 points8 points9 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Sir_SpectacularNo Pill Man[S] 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]blebbyrooPurple Pill Woman 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Freethinker312No Pill Woman 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]RandomAttackHelpMe 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]KorinTowerFreeloaderRedish Pill Man 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link