Q4ALL: Will visiting a prostitute help improve a man's confidence/give him an abundance mentality?

[deleted] · 2017-07-11T17:35:03+00:00

[permanently deleted]

SpaceWhiskey · 2017-07-11T18:19:24+00:00

All having an "abundance mentality" means is letting go of a fear of rejection. It doesn't matter if one woman says no because you can now just ask some other woman who might say yes. That's freeing.

Sleeping with a prositute will not give you an "abundance mentality" but it will demystify sex for you and let you experience it with someone pretty much guaranteed to be very patient and understanding. It will help you realize it's not that big a deal and when you eventually have sex with a non-prostitute you'll have a much better understanding of what goes down and hopefully won't be as nervous.

Do it. Do it ethically, don't be cheap about it and treat her nicely but do it.

Atlas_B_Shruggin · 2017-07-11T17:37:59+00:00

it will IF HE PUTS ASIDE THE IDEA of "validation"

no, its not "validating", what it IS is ball draining and thirst quenching, these things aid in self assurance around women

Pope_Lucious · 2017-07-11T19:04:08+00:00

You are psyching yourself out homie. Hiring a prostitute will not lead you to the promised land, and it won't destroy your innocence. Besides being illegal (maybe not where your from?), it isn't likely to change much. Do it if you want the experience. Don't do it if you don't. It's not that big of a deal.

whichbladeN · 2017-07-11T17:44:14+00:00

You can't be successful with women if you don't have an abundance mentality

I have seen it. You have probably seen men succeed in having a loving relationship without him on the prowl for an abundance of women.

This is probably one of those things that red pill preaches that does more harm than good.

You would rather see a prostitute just to have a notch, instead of just pursuing the kind of girl and the kind of life you really want. On top of that, quite a few woman would consider the fact that you saw a prostitute to be a red flag. I'm sure you would never disclose it though.

bala-key · 2017-07-11T18:01:45+00:00

If you are a virgin it can decrease your anxiety about sex.

5th_Law_of_Robotics · 2017-07-11T18:26:54+00:00

Depends on the man I suppose.

madude2016 · 2017-07-11T20:37:47+00:00

I think it certainly will. You pay someone to give you sex and be nice to you. If you do it enough times you will fell much less anxiety around women. I think it's a major issue for a lot of guys, I bet even more than looks.

flamethrowup · 2017-07-13T00:13:21+00:00

EDIT: Tl;dr: I did it. Made me better at sex but only marginally increased my sense of abundance. My advice: look up someone nice with good reviews and do it just to gain experience/get it out of the way.

I lost it to an escort and fuck escorts semi-regularly, so I think I can answer.

I've written this elsewhere but I was a hermit in college so I didn't capitalize on the options available to me. The conservative Christian values I initially had deprived me of any real experience with girls throughout high school. I don't blame my parents for this. They never knew I was interested enough in girls to need advice to begin with, and even if they did they wouldn't have any. They met in church and came from an era where relationships just happened.

Also, in my college people seemed to pair off and marry early. I was in an honors dorm so even if I wanted to get laid I'd have had no idea who to talk to to go to parties and such.

While living with my parents for a couple years after graduation, I got tired of being a virgin and decided to fuck an escort off Backpage while my parents were away. It was a pleasant and fun time overall. She looked nice, was tolerant of my inexperience, and I left feeling good enough that I fucked a couple others during that time, all of them pretty and pleasant people. Since then it's been my secondary (after masturbation) or tertiary (after sex with "normal" girls) outlet for sexual release.

It helped me gain experience having sex, which helped when I had sex with normal girls down the line. It boosted my confidence but not enough to give the illusion of abundance since I'm not filthy rich and I have to budget for it. But it has taught me two important lessons:

1) Ironically it helped drill into my head that I am attractive to some women. A really cute escort I visited once decided to fuck me off the clock regularly because she liked the sex so much. That combined with other, recent experiences with "normal," attractive women wanting to sleep with me has diminished my insecurities about my appearance. I still have problems capitalizing on opportunities but I'll probably improve down the line.

It also got me thinking about what I want out of sexual/"romantic" interactions with women—unbridled desire, fidelity, trust, respect—and led me to realize that most of them could not or would not offer it. Hence MGTOW.

2) Sex isn't worth jumping through hoops for. Though I'd have to budget for it, I know enough working girls and one normal girl I can call up when in a pinch, so the promise of sex (or even a relationship) isn't a good enough reason for me to talk to women I don't know. I'm very much a "pleasure of sex" rather than "thrill of the chase" guy, so pickup is exhausting for me.

All in all, I like sex but I consider my sex drive to be a burden that I'm doing my best to manage and will hopefully abate as I get older. I'm in my mid-20s so the desire to fuck someone new is always there and it's a pain in the ass.

Doom_and-Gloom · 2017-07-12T00:00:30+00:00

Speaking as someone who lost their virginity at 22 to an escort, I can tell you it's definitely not a panacea. All your problems won't magically go away just because you paid some random woman to poke you. Here's the kicker though: it DOES help. Particularly if you're an older virgin (over 20), finally getting rid of the stigma of virginity will make you feel like a burden has been lifted off your shoulders.

Imo, there's no shame in paying for sex if you're a man. Never let anyone tell you otherwise, especially women. They have no idea what struggles you and other men like you face, and are just blowing hot air most of the time.

alreadyredschool · 2017-07-11T17:27:12+00:00

Yes of course

raindient · 2017-07-11T17:29:59+00:00

Yes, though it took me quite a few times to get over the anxiety and internalize that I can always decide I'm going to get laid today rather than wonder if it'll ever happen.

Love8Death · 2017-07-11T17:39:49+00:00

I've never paid for sex, but I'll say my experiences at strip clubs alone improved my understanding and confidence.

retskrad · 2017-07-11T17:55:51+00:00

Give a Man a Fish, and You Feed Him for a Day. Teach a Man To Fish, and You Feed Him for a Lifetime

BPremium · 2017-07-11T17:57:53+00:00

No. Confidence and Abundance mentality come from results. Hiring a pro wont do that.

disposable_pants · 2017-07-11T21:26:33+00:00

Confidence means believing you can handle some task in the future. The best way to become confident is to actually do that task, because then you know for sure that it's possible and you have some experience with it. If I say I'm confident I can run an 8-minute mile, it means I believe I can do that if I ever needed/wanted to. The best way to be confident about this would be to actually go out and run a mile in less than 8 minutes; I'd know it's possible for me and I'd have experience with it.

A big part of why virgins have trouble approaching women is that they're unconfident in their ability to have sex. Are they going to be too nervous to get it up? Are they not going to be able to stay hard when they put a condom on? Are they going to cum as soon as she touches them? Will she be able to tell that he's never done this before? All of this creates anxiety, which permeates back through to all the interactions required to get a woman in bed in the first place. It makes the guy noticeably nervous and unsure, which are major turnoffs. It's a vicious cycle.

Hiring a prostitute cuts through all those questions and the problems they create. You know for sure one way or the other, and can go from there.

mgtownigga · 2017-07-12T06:10:29+00:00

it honestly depends on your mental hangups. I honestly think having sex with a woman, regardless of who they are, will help a virgin out due to the demystification of the process. You might not feel fulfilled by the encounter, but it'll show you what sex is and that it's not hard to pull off. This can translate to confidence with actual women you meet.

windyhorse · 2017-07-13T11:15:51+00:00

I think it's a bad idea. If you do get a confidence boost from it that helps you get rid of the desperate vibe, it wont last long.

wtknight · 2017-07-11T17:28:35+00:00

I think in some sense it might help because it allieviates some of the anxiety about knowing what to do sexually with a woman. However, I don't think it's going to make a man more confident in his looks or personality when it comes to attracting a woman since all he did was pay for sex.

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WhiskersNT · 2017-07-11T17:32:24+00:00

my guess would be that you'd need to hire them enough that you actually felt you could do it whenever you wanted

Like if you just did it one time , I'd imagine the next day you'd be back to square one

despisedlove2 · 2017-07-11T17:36:56+00:00

Unlikely.

It would however sate his immediate need.

jonascf · 2017-07-11T21:07:36+00:00

Probably not unless the man is very good at fooling himself. Going to a prostitute will show him that there are women out there that likes his money, not that there are women out there that like him as a person.

exit_sandman · 2017-07-11T21:22:58+00:00

Quite honestly, you are the only one who can guess whether it does or not because it strongly depends on the man in question.

Do you think that the experience would be fulfilling and positive for you? Or do you think you would feel dirty and as if you "cheated"? I am not trying to push you into either direction, I just want to suggest that you really have to find out that answer for yourself.
Do you feel considerable amounts of insecurity over your virginity? If yes, do you think that you would lose that insecurity if you had sex with a hooker; or do you think that the professional character of that event would destroy the magic, so to speak?

Maybe it's not abundance mentality what you need, but more being at peace with yourself.

Talking for myself, I can safely say that losing my virginity was a huge change for me. Not because it was such an awesome experience (quite the opposite, actually) or because it gave me the feeling that I could have every woman, but because I stopped feeling like some sort of outcast. Also, the first time is always the hardest - after that experience, it became progressively easier to simply go for sex without obsessing over details or possible hangups. But on the other hand, I wouldn't - couldn't, actually - have done it with hookers, so that option was off the table. But, as I have said in another thread that was about losing one's v-chip to hookers: had I not had the hangups about prostitution, and had I known how long I would have to wait until I managed to do it the "normal" way, I would have visited a hooker as soon as it would have been legal for me to do so.

Which means for you: if you really think that there's a chance that it'll help you (and quite honestly, you're the only one who can comment on that), by all means go for it. Ask yourself, who would you rather be 5 years down the road: 25 year old bluepillthrowa who has visited a hooker once or twice, but who managed to come to terms with sex and sexuality and got a more relaxed outlook on it, and managed to get one or two girlfriends in the meantime - or 25 year old bluepillthrowa who took the high road but is still a virgin?

You're welcome.

guyrun · 2017-07-11T21:27:18+00:00

It will demystify sex, but not help you get women. It will also make you see your value as someone who only value you have for women is money.

Transmigratory · 2017-07-11T21:27:31+00:00

Abundance with respect to his capital? Yeah.

Confidence by seeing that sex isn't super magical? Plausible. Very plausible, actually. He'd realise that when he gets here, he'd be doing just that: bumping uglies.

IIHotelYorba · 2017-07-12T06:23:18+00:00

Nooooooooooo. Prostitution is a far more stimulating version of porn. It's also dangerous because like porn it can be so rewarding you can mold your brain to rely on it for dopamine. Use SPARINGLY or not at all.

The best thing for you to do is to grind through sets like a fucking machine. Have no (ten scale) standards for girls until you get to 50 lays. Once you've fucked 50 girls there is no way you will be able to justify to yourself that you don't have abundance of midrange (or better) girls. Then you should just keep moving up the ten scale. You should have probably fucked a bunch of 4-6 and a few 7-8s. Maybe even a few 10s.

Entropy-7 · 2017-07-12T08:01:16+00:00

I don't think it creates abundance mentality or the illusion of it. It's a way to get your dick wet, take the edge off, get some experience or maybe indulge in a fantasy or two.

And from what I have heard - 2nd and 3rd hand - hookers can give you more pointers than a PUA if you chit chat with them for a while after the deed is done.

LooksMatterToWomen · 2017-07-12T13:42:31+00:00

NO! Good lord, no. She's only doing it to get money for her next fix. There's no validation in that. Real, genuine confidence comes from actually being wanted and desired.

Scurvemuch · 2017-07-11T18:08:43+00:00

Atlas gave you the answer. go get your balls drained already.

ANTIFA_SARKEESIAN · 2017-07-11T18:22:19+00:00

The answer is no, it will not make you more confident or give you an abundance mentality. Everyone here is just screaming DO IT without answering your fucking question, Jesus Christ. Don't listen to any of these people, especially atlas of all people FFS

Get off the internet and start interacting with people in positive ways, that's how you build confidence.

[deleted] · 2017-07-11T20:30:27+00:00

I don't see why it would. Why would paying for sex give you confidence? I think it would sooner hurt your confidence. Plus, it would give you the exact opposite of an abundance mentality because you'd feel like the only way you'd be able to get it was through money.

I think this whole thing about men acting thirsty or desperate or putting sex on a pedestal because they haven't gotten laid yet is mostly a myth. People acting thirsty and desperate or being awkward around those they're attracted to don't do those things because they're virgins. Lack of experience might be part of the problem but that's not necessary and even then, visiting a prostitute isn't the type of experience that'll help.

Go visit a prostitute all you want but don't expect anything besides first-hand experience at having your rubbered up cock half-heartedly sucked and ridden.

Title	Q4ALL: Will visiting a prostitute help improve a man's confidence/give him an abundance mentality?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	9
Comments	203
Date	July 11, 2017 5:24 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/6mnq0o/q4all_will_visiting_a_prostitute_help_improve_a/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/q4all-will-visiting-a-prostitute-help-improve-a.267051 https://theredarchive.com/post/267051

Comments

EDIT: Tl;dr: I did it. Made me better at sex but only marginally increased my sense of abundance. My advice: look up someone nice with good reviews and do it just to gain experience/get it out of the way.