"The bar is in hell"... yeah for attractive men

Prudent_Heat23 · 2026-01-10T15:30:41+00:00

Or it’s reporting bias. Women’s complaints are always going to be about the one guy who was spectacularly clueless, rather than the other 20 guys who seemed completely fine but she just wasn’t feeling for reasons difficult to articulate. Fools with little life experience of their own think the funny stories are the norm, which also contributes to the “bar is in hell” nonsense.

Destinyciello · 2026-01-10T15:52:36+00:00

"shower before a date" "maintain proper hygiene" are completely useless. It's like telling a person not to smoke crack and drink a bottle of vodka before a job interview. Technically true but isn't going to help you.

"ask questions back" and "learn to communicate" are actually useful pieces of advice. But they are likely framed in such an infantile manner that the advice ends up being useless as well.

The truth is they can't be honest. Government speak is no longer tied to reality in those places. They can't say "women like men with money and status... and also would prefer for you to be attractive". That would be far more useful if framed properly. But too many people would get their panties in a wad if they framed it this way.

avocadolanche3000 · 2026-01-10T15:23:03+00:00

I drove an hour to buy a woman dinner because she was legitimately food insecure. I didn’t want sex or anything (not that I wouldn’t have had it), I just felt bad for her. I was also bored, and I have the means. It felt like a nice thing to do, and there’s the off chance we really vibe and she’s just going through a hard time. When I arrived she was wearing pajamas. She’d put on a lot of weight since her pictures, which happens for about 20% of the dates I go on. Also she didn’t have a phone, and was contemplating leaving her part time retail job because it was too much. She’d recently been mugged and claimed to be off heroine but I think she was still using. Her life was in shambles, and she blames the men she goes out with and feels entitled to a relationship.

On the other attractive side, my date Monday was very beautiful. She told me

She’s have a hard time not being angry at men all of the time.

she was two weeks sober from alcohol and one day sober from weed.

She’s thinking of not dating men anymore

for the first ten years of her sex life none of it was consensual (she clarified that she didn’t say “no.” She’s talking about ten years of sex that her partners thought was consensual).

That she considers men who watch porn addicted to sex.

She spent the whole date complaining about her exes.

Her whole vibe was intense pink pill misandry.

I have gone out with a lot of scary women who, outside of being beautiful, are mostly red flags (bragging about pressing charges against their last one night stand, claiming their doctors and master program directors say porny, cartoonishly misogynist things like “you’d get better grades if you showed more cleavage”). I do not believe them. It’s very clear when a woman’s whole personality is hating men that “the bar is in hell” is just misandry.

I’ve gone out with beautiful women who are great people too, but the idea that men are all dating up is ridiculous and I don’t think that’s anyone’s dating experience. I go out with chicks “below my league” all the time, but I don’t insult them or assume that it’s entitlement in their end to imagine being with me. I give them a fair shake and if we don’t match on a bunch of levels I move on.

Edit to add: I find vents about “hypergamy” equally sexist and shitty. People can have whatever standards they want. You can too. But it strikes me as shitty and sexist to set impossible standards that aren’t matching your actual dating potential as a way of maligning an entire gender.

Time_Line4082 · 2026-01-10T15:23:52+00:00

.....not true lol if i see an attractive man with dirty fingernails im not going on another date w him lol

Far_Secret_2710 · 2026-01-10T15:59:14+00:00

This is interesting, because it lends explanatory power to the ‘shit test’ hypothesis of feminism.

Not going to break that down here, but this has reached comical tiers of projection. Try to imagine what a girl really gets if some poor simp date mentioned the pamphlet to her with a smile on his face, grateful for the selfless empathy it must have taken for women to tell men to shower before a date. The emotional labor, the infinite tolerance of helping those rotten men become more appealing to yourself.

“It’s long overdue we men get our act together for you queens,” and the answer is revealed. She gets compliant men who will obey anything. It doesn’t matter if they already showered, if they accept guilt, if they mean it. Men are tainted. Filthy. Her voice rises like a train horn at rush hour, echoing across the algorithm. It’s heretical, she continues. Even the barest gesture of personal upkeep, the minimum to pass as an adult, is not enough to cleanse your evil soul. “You are literally satan,” her sermon does not end. It goes on for a lifetime. Sometimes the anger becomes an aphrodisiac, but always unwittingly so. And in her exceptional case, of course, she will reject the whole thing, even the steps in the pamphlet, as oppression. Because she has to. Because otherwise, she might have to stop speaking.

Gravel_Roads · 2026-01-10T15:27:56+00:00

I mean yes, all humans are willing to overlook some flaws if you also have some strengths.

Men also put up with more from women they find attractive.

And wait til you hear about how tolerant people get when they’re in love! That’s when people stay together and love and support each other even after looks and health fade.

It’s just not possible to treat everyone the exact same.

LethalShade · 2026-01-10T17:05:16+00:00

I agree. Most men haven't spend 100 hours intentionally working on their dating life. How would you feel about an engineer who hasn't put 100 hours into his craft?

How many men do you know who have read a book on dating or hired a dating coach?

mashedturnip · 2026-01-10T16:31:11+00:00

Nope. If they were attractive, we wouldn’t be complaining

Natural_Answer5705 · 2026-01-10T15:10:21+00:00

But I don't see it that way. But the evidence sees it that way lol.

alexoid182 · 2026-01-10T16:06:53+00:00

Does this tie in with sweden having one of rhe highest % of foreign born men....

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Feeling_Ad_1034 · 2026-01-10T17:15:31+00:00

No. Stop blanketing things.

The more of a deficit there is in attraction between 2 partners, the lower the bar for other things will be. Basic logic.

If the guy is hot and so is the girl, the bar for other things is definitely STILL HIGH.

You're looking at a nonsense case where the guy is HOT and the girl is average so there's NO BAR for anything else, she's pursuing him or making herself available. Yeah, of course the bar is in hell.

The advice from the article is taking cases where I'm guessing the people on the date were more or less matched in terms of desirability, so if the guy had done those things, might have gone better for him.

DGenerationMC · 2026-01-10T17:16:52+00:00

The bar may be "in Hell," but at least they serve free drinks and I don't have to hear about people's low expectations for me because of WHAT I am rather than WHO I am.

DankuTwo · 2026-01-10T17:19:13+00:00

80/20 OP....it ALWAYS goes back to 80/20.

Cool_Ranch_2511 · 2026-01-10T15:20:10+00:00

If you leave a huge skid mark on her bed sheet and she's refuses to give you a sloppy later that morning, you're the backup guy.

EDIT: I don't make the rules, It's women's behavior that makes us brown pilled.

r2k398 · 2026-01-10T15:50:27+00:00

I’ve seen a lot of women who are with conventionally unattractive dudes. And I’ve read a lot of posts on a Reddit where women are dating absolute losers but refuse to leave them.

LolaPaloz · 2026-01-10T17:13:15+00:00

I only date attractive men and never met one with skidmarks in their pants or didn't shower. I only had one stealth-alcoholic bf on a mental health decline who started not brushing his teeth everyday which was gross. Did not kiss him anymore and broke up.

But the point is, when U point out bad hygiene it's obviously not the most social dudes, it's gonna be the LEAST social dudes who meet the LEAST women because they are inside alot. It's gonna be the guys with mental health issues also, who have trouble maintaining hygiene, not "mr popular chad"

Lost_Reaction_5489 · 2026-01-10T16:08:17+00:00

There's a morbidly obese woman out there today that would worship you and you'd never have to think about these gender topics again, but you aren't attracted to her hence you're upset with the actions of the people you're attracted to. Isn't that what you're denouncing here?

TermAggravating8043 · 2026-01-10T16:32:07+00:00

Do men want help or not? You don’t have to take the advice, but you’d be surprised by the amount of overweight unwashed men with a shopping list of expectations that still find it weird that their single

ThatBitchA · 2026-01-10T16:30:35+00:00

If it says those things..... it sounds like men still aren't doing those things. 🤷

Y'all repeatedly say in this sub that you don't care about a woman's job, interests, hobbies, etc. That y'all don't care about anything unless she's hot.

Which sounds like y'all don't ask questions or communicate.

So maybe, y'all should take the advice. Because it seems like it's being given because it still needs to be said.

Title	"The bar is in hell"... yeah for attractive men
Author	Crazy_Kray
Upvotes	82
Comments	92
Date	January 10, 2026 3:08 PM UTC (7 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1q96eo5/the_bar_is_in_hell_yeah_for_attractive_men/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/the-bar-is-in-hell-yeah-for-attractive-men.1570858 https://theredarchive.com/post/1570858

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