What are successful autistic guys doing differently likely?

arvada14 · 2023-12-08T21:38:57+00:00

They're hot.

Rule 1 and 2 buddy.

ComfortableJeans · 2023-12-08T21:59:35+00:00

Autism is a spectrum. The further down that spectrum you are, the harder it's going to be.

There's also other factors to consider. Perhaps the degrees of autism make it harder for them to do the things that make one attractive. Such as going to the gym.

I imagine one thing autism makes more difficult is starting/maintaining a social life. Even more so, a social life that involves women.

szclimber · 2023-12-08T22:37:17+00:00

Maybe they just got lucky?

MidoriEgg · 2023-12-09T00:13:22+00:00

I think how clockably autistic you are can unfortunately make a big impact on how you’re perceived and your social opportunities.

If you speak in a tone of voice that implies you have some sort of neurodivergence people treat you really differently compared to someone who doesn’t, even if your social skills aren’t that different.

People who aren’t clockably autistic also get more social opportunities growing up, so more of a chance to develop those skills.

I don’t think this is the only factor though, autism is a spectrum.

gopher_glitz · 2023-12-09T01:50:22+00:00

They're hot or the type of autism that makes them crazy rich.

Flightlessbirbz · 2023-12-09T12:47:59+00:00

Having friends, usually. Some autistic people are more social than others. But if there is a particular way you can socialize, that makes all the difference. We have a pretty obviously autistic friend who started going out with us. He probably never would’ve just approached his current girlfriend, but since she was in our general social circle and they expressed mutual interest to me, my fiancé and I invited them to hang out and they’re now in a relationship.

Everyone in our social circle is a little weird because we’re weird and likely on the spectrum ourselves, it’s just that we’re older and more outgoing weird people who were able to help a younger and less outgoing person get out more. So don’t discount the value of socializing with other men and women who are in relationships if you get the chance. Any way you can meet more people is good.

MountainousCapybara · 2023-12-08T21:56:05+00:00

I was wondering about the same thing for quite some time, I like to think that Im quite social for an autistic person, I've got extensive social network both at home and university but despite that and years of trying to find compatible people and build deeper connections I wasn't able to succeed with that. At the same time my male peers have little problem finding relationships both short and long despite the fact that they are way less socialy active.

DoinIt989 · 2023-12-08T23:47:30+00:00

They're high functioning. It's likely that if they were born 10 or 20 years earlier, they wouldn't have even got a diagnosis. They just would have been considered "nerdy" or "shy" or "eccentric".

Remember that the vast majority of people who are "autistic" are barely even functional as indepedent adults. Many of them are not even verbal, like they can't even speak. Communities like this often attract a lot of people who are technically disagnosed as "autistic", but they are nowhere near the typical "case".

SonglessBard · 2023-12-08T21:58:10+00:00

I have the aura of the 'gay' best friend for girls even though I am not gay. I had female friends but almost none male friend.

About dating success. Every girl that I had interested, rejected me, even before I knew I had autism. What makes this really bullshit is that Ive been kissed from 3 different girls in my life I felt nothing for. Romantic connection is such a bullshit thing, when I did try got nothing in return, but when I didnt try, girls fell on love with me, I happened to have my only relationship with one of those but I had almost no pleasure on it and it died out, and decided to not do it again

AFuzzyMuffin · 2023-12-09T00:52:59+00:00

Autistic women are easier because they tend to be more logistical OR more unhinged than regular women imo. Either they are a slave to meltdowns or they are cold and calculating.

You just have to make sure you pick the smart ones by being the best logical choice

OtPayOkerSmay · 2023-12-09T00:13:51+00:00

They are true to themselves. Comfortable in their skin. They don't try to be the fake, macho, alpha, tough guy, and instead embrace their quirks

BootyMessiah · 2023-12-08T21:50:40+00:00

They are investing in themselves (hygiene, gym, style, self-sufficiency), improving their social skills, building their social circles, not overthinking and being direct with the women they want to be with as opposed to indirect.

They are finding their niche. They look for women who like guys like them and frequently put themselves in environments where they are more likely to find those women.

Barneysparky · 2023-12-08T21:13:57+00:00

They are friends with gals like them. They take part in activities.

TidyMess123 · 2023-12-08T21:18:24+00:00

They are building social networks through activities they enjoy and get themselves out and about through.

Carloverguy20 · 2023-12-09T01:59:21+00:00

Im Neurodivergent, and I would say that im somewhat successful in my own way, than I give myself credit for. Has life been difficult and hell for me, absolutely yes, but i've overcome all the obstacles that was placed at me.

Autism is a wide spectrum, and not every person who's autistic is a socially inept outcast, thats a stereotype.

I was somewhat popular in school, but not for stereotypical reasons, people loved my humor, quirky eccentric attitude, friendliness, unique talents. I've had dates, and surprisingly I was cool with the ladies(not in a sexual way, BUT That does not matter at all, sex is not everything).

Yeah I might not be the typical mans man, but I was somehow popular in school, university, grad school, and at my job.

I've never let my Autism/ADHD etc, be a limiter in my life, and I guess im a bit stubborn with letting labels affect me. I guess my idealism brings me success in life, thinking that it will get better and this is not the end.

OptimistInHell · 2023-12-08T22:55:50+00:00

Recheck your diagnosis or get a coach. It helps to stop consuming blackpill content.

wtknight · 2023-12-08T23:46:10+00:00

They are probably being more resourceful. An autistic man being resourceful enough to find a fellow autistic woman is an example of this. My wife and I both have social anxiety and we met on the internet rather than just sat around and moped like some people do.

Ayaka_Simp_ · 2023-12-09T00:41:35+00:00

Develop your social skills
Be yourself

Boom. You'll be swimming in vagina. Worked for me.

newstartinvegas · 2023-12-09T04:43:47+00:00

I feel autistic after reading this for sure

ConanTheCybrarian · 2023-12-09T08:53:29+00:00

a woman with adhd finds them and decides they are together now.

OkHoliday8798 · 2023-12-08T22:25:39+00:00

They tend to have cultivated better social skills.

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masterlaster1199 · 2023-12-09T01:17:25+00:00

Looks max.

MisoggyKnee · 2023-12-09T02:15:20+00:00

That's a bit of an oxymoron

Believeinyourflyness · 2023-12-09T07:05:24+00:00

Observing people around them and adapting to the environment

fantabroo · 2023-12-09T21:42:28+00:00

I developed a framework for that:

In general, the more physically attractive you are, the more autistic you are allowed to be.

After that, there are three options:

a) You try dating normie local girls. Those relationships usually have a time limit and require heavy-masking. NT foreign girls are a little more accessible depending on how attuned they are to the local culture. Because they are also "outsiders" in a sense, it takes them longer to catch up that you're a weirdo freak.

b) Passport broing. SA or Eastern Europe, you won't get away with much too autism if you want a real hottie unless you are really rich or handsome. Asia is a better bet for that.

c) You date a neurodiverse girl. If you are handsome, you can get a looks match.

pseudonymmed · 2023-12-10T21:28:16+00:00

My autistic friend has had success with just being really communicative about how he communicates. Like he lets women know that he’s bad at picking up subtlety and gives them permission to be really blunt about what they like/dislike/want/expect. And asks them if they’re ok with the same from him. Stuff like that.

SyrusDrake · 2023-12-12T12:05:57+00:00

Autism is a spectrum and even if you're on the "same level", it may manifest in different ways. Some "levels" and manifestations make it harder, some make it easier.
Luck generally plays a role in dating. You might have gotten lucky that you found an autistic girl you could vibe with.
What I think is most important is how much you're willing to "pay". If you're autistic, you'll always have to make certain sacrifices in social interactions to be accepted, you'll have to pretend to be someone you're not. Some autistic guys might not be willing to pay this price for the "reward" of a relationship. How high the price is and how much someone is willing to pay varies from individual to individual.

Title	What are successful autistic guys doing differently likely?
Author	harmonica2
Upvotes	21
Comments	74
Date	December 8, 2023 9:11 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/18dwt80/what_are_successful_autistic_guys_doing/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/what-are-successful-autistic-guys-doing.1240270 https://theredarchive.com/post/1240270

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