What’s your dating strategy?

Psychological_Wear_7 · 2021-06-12T13:51:20+00:00

My end goal is to find a sugar mama to fund my lifestyle and allow me to stay at home

Wish me luck

Slyfer_Seven · 2021-06-12T14:44:53+00:00

38M

My end goal at this point in my life is just to raise my boys to be as well adjusted and complete as possible considering they lost their mother at a young age. Part of that means I also have to ensure I remain as complete and functioning as possible and I have to show, through example, that life does move on, even when parts of us have been completely decimated by it. At least this is the narrative I tell myself to feed whatever superman ego thing I have that drives me through life to always get the job done.

Obviously, I decided finding someone is an important part of that not only because the loneliness distracts from my goals, but because though you never really "get over" something like this, you can still find happiness, even if it's not as bright as before. More importantly, it slows this emotional bleed out I'm going through dealing with this loss. Not exactly the stuff of romance, but the end result is the same, so I don't dwell on it too much.

My strategy is pretty straightforward, actively set myself to succeed both in where to place my efforts (Tinder, Bars, etc) and who to pursue (demographically speaking) and then run purely off what my intuition tells me in the moment. In this case, that meant just running through a barrage of dates and going out every weekend while my kids were at their grandparents for the summer, and seeing which chick managed to rise above the constant noise of fragmented emotions in my head. Sounds kind of crude and, when coupled with my motives, even a little cold, but it works/worked and I am better for it, so this is the best way forward for now.

Probably not what you're looking for, but that's all I got...

poppy_blu · 2021-06-12T15:54:25+00:00

This is turning out to be a sausage-fest comment section, so I'll join in with the boys

1) 21M. Wife and kids...A woman to experience life with and grow. Don't really want to meet someone 10+ years down the line because I want to share new experiences with someone else, not 10+ years of experiencing things by myself and random other people who fade in and out of my life. I have a great relationship with my mom and dad and they've been my role models. I want a similar relationship with my kids. My parents have flaws I'll try to rectify, but I'll probably have different flaws.

2) Getting a good job was first on my agenda, recently did that, so hoping to just be stable in that regard (trying to follow FIRE, max on Roth IRA, invest, that whole spiel) ... Next is expanding my social circle. When I was looking for apartments I joined FB to try to find a roommate to get some core group of people to talk to. That seems to have worked out, he knew some people in the building, so I'm optimistic about that. Also, gonna try some meetup groups (kayaking, maybe drone, work events). Also a good bar scene where I'm going.

raphaellastorm · 2021-06-12T17:02:50+00:00

I’d like to get married and have a family, ideally two kids. I want to be with my best friend. Ideally we would both work, but if it was financially possible for one of us to stay home, I think that’s invaluable for children. I’d like to have a house in the suburbs and spend lots of time making memories with my spouse and children, eating dinner at the table together every night, going on family trips and adventures. Life is enjoyed in the little pleasures. I’d also like to cultivate a community of good friends that are like family with my spouse to support our marriage and children.

How to achieve this: I try to maintain a full and happy life. I try to be active and involved in my community, and live a rich and full life, as I believe the best way to meet someone who shares my common goals is to find them through mutual friends or hobbies. I run and do Pilates every day, am meticulous about my appearance, and generally try to be happy and positive person. I look for people who want what I want, marriage, family, and a simple, happy life. Thats my “strategy.”

BrownEyedGringa · 2021-06-12T14:44:33+00:00

1) end goal at this point in your life

Cute, smart guy to have regular, monogamous sex with. I'm not too keen on marriage right now, but if the right person comes along, I might consider it

2) your strategy to achieve that? Please include your gender and age.

Cute, smart guys have options. That's just the truth. I try to keep myself fit, caught up on current events, and make sure hair/makeup looks effortless/natural but attractive. If I had more time, I'd also try to invest time into an active hobby, but it's been hard with COVID and med school.
Bonus question building on the waiting for sex thread: Women: do you hold off on sex when dating and why?

I've only had sex with one person and he waited 3 months for me. I haven't dated anyone else for that long, to be honest. I started dating at 25 and then COVID took away my 26th year *also school getting more intense. I'm hoping to date more in my 27th year.

I'll probably do the 3 months thing again

spinsterchachkies · 2021-06-12T16:34:01+00:00

I like being single right so not using any strategy, I’m conventionally attractive and really fit so I have that to my advantage. Plus no kids, money, no baggage. If I was dating I would do this.

Date only who I am sexually attracted to.
Vet out those that don’t make me happy, who I don’t see a future with, and those with incompatible lifestyles;
Dealbreakers include guys not interested in fitness and health, unhygienic, assholes, cheap and stingy, pushy, boring, entitled pricks, weird kinks and fetishes, addictions, misogynists.
Wait for a relationship to build before having sex, no casual or hook ups.
He needs to be worthy of respect. If I can’t respect him I get an repulsed “ick” feeling. Same with laziness and incompetence.
If he’s not a gentleman I’m not going to be a lady. I don’t even care about his feelings byyyeeee
If I don’t find a quality life partner I don’t need one period. I’m good.
I sound like a bitch but I worked hard for it and earned it 🤷🏼‍♀️ I only want a man that can do the same. Work hard and earn it

Pastelitomaracucho · 2021-06-12T16:13:36+00:00

Step one: ignore the vast majority of women. No social media, no simping, no bullshit.

Step two: focus on my development, enjoying life and making as many friends and possible.

Step three: wait for women to approach or show interest. I'm good at reading people so this comes naturally. Once I know I have a clear way ahead. Court and explore.

Step four: veto after some interaction, or keep dating afterwards.

Step five: only commit after 6-12 months of dating. Not getting married, not having kids.

Finally, consider kids after at least five years living together and after becoming financially very comfortable, with all safeguards in place for an amicable divorce if something goes south.

That has worked pretty well so far.

Murphysmongoose · 2021-06-12T15:46:41+00:00

My end goal is find the last woman I'm ever going to have to pick up and sleep with. Live happily ever after of course. And the plan is to just keep trying, until something sticks.

Algae_Natural · 2021-06-12T14:07:11+00:00

27 cis man.

1) end goal at this point in your life

Ideally marriage, but I would take any kind of relationship tbh, even one night stands.

2) your strategy to achieve that?

Online dating.

BarestBranch · 2021-06-12T14:39:57+00:00

I don’t have an end goal. While I’d be delighted to have a wife and kids it is not something I’m currently trying to make happen. I don’t intend to start trying either. I have other things I want to pursue and if I happen to meet a partner along the way I’ll count myself lucky.

29yr old dude btw.

Notsonewguy7 · 2021-06-12T15:37:23+00:00

I date the hottest people that are willing to say yes in the Immediate and hope the personality matches enough for it last long term.

Generally I try to seek people at places I frequent. Bookstores, coffee shops, gym, etc.

cloudydays84 · 2021-06-13T00:10:36+00:00

22 M

No real formal strategy, just kinda enjoying life doing the stuff that I like and seeing what happens. Currently not looking for a relationship, just not in the mood for one (had to get out of my last real relationship because of that).

But if that ever changes I might want to get married one day, still on the fence with regards to kids, but having a partner to share experiences and grow old with sounds quite nice.

Superfluous_Toast · 2021-06-13T00:55:59+00:00

Flirt with them for a month until they're madly in love with me and then fuck them until their ding dong begs for mercy and we settle into domestic bliss. Works every time.

AtaCome7821 · 2021-06-13T05:59:21+00:00

22M, A friend and a partner first and then a family with her. I found a lady already, she has the same interests as I, but as for a strategy, I don't really have one tbh, my mantra is "live and let be", the way I'd find someone would be through college or friends/family, and sometimes a lady I meet in public that I start a conversation with.

Crafty-Particular998 · 2021-06-13T13:50:43+00:00

I’m a woman in a long term relationship. Here’s my strategy:

•Only show interest if I’m actually attracted.

•Wait for him to show interest before I show interest back.

•Wait until I properly knew him to establish trust

•Allowed him to plan dates, to show he was really interested.

•Don’t chase, but don’t play hard to get either. Simply reciprocate the effort he puts in. If he plans something nice first, showing his interest, I’d plan something nice and initiate once I was sure I wasn’t gonna get used.

OXOzymandias · 2021-06-12T14:22:43+00:00

approach in parties.

and only that.

I want to have sex and relationship and marriage, i prefer it to come from person i met in a none formal way, right now, so it could evolve.

23, dude.

ivy176 · 2021-06-12T14:06:19+00:00

End goal - soulmate and marriage

Strategy - only date men I already know well, friends first, willing to wait long periods for a genuine connection, no dating apps, no casual dating (we go on the date with the knowledge that we're pursuing a relationship), no sex before commitment, lots of vetting and strict standards

Married twice, 34, woman. Been with husband for 6 years.

I've never had sex with anyone unless I knew them years prior. I only did friends first relationships and have had 3 relationships in total. It's not "holding off" for me, it's something that is not on the table for strangers/acquaintances/dates and never has been. For me it's like questioning why I wouldn't move in with someone on the 3rd date.

passepar2t · 2021-06-12T13:55:16+00:00

Edit: Oops, I only read the title and didn't realize what the thread was about.

My only goal is to stave off The Fear with the fleeting warmth of lovemaking.

My strategy for the past two years was as I wrote it earlier.

PlayfulLawyer · 2021-06-12T16:08:39+00:00

35 yo m, well off financially, going to retire in about 10 years, not going to get married but my dating goal is to possibly settle into a cool ass easygoing long-term relationship filled with traveling, fun memories and enthusiastic pornstar quality fucking

As far as how I plan to go about doing that, same thing I've been doing, keeping myself in great shape, not eating like shit, making money and finding the right girl to mesh with my personality, and while I'm not married I have been with the same girl for the past year who I click with on pretty much all levels

rft24 · 2021-06-12T16:36:05+00:00

21f.

end goal is to have established a life, family, and legacy with a life partner.

i guess my strategy has been to find a marriage minded young man who shares my values and is compatible with me, long-term; who also wants to commit to me, and shares my goals.

it has worked out so far. hopefully, we make it to the finish line.

AceOfBlacks · 2021-06-12T18:15:47+00:00

My end goal is to either get hired by a major video game developing studio or to assemble a crew and start my own, maybe both.

My strategy is sending out applications when positions open up and working on my own ideas.

As for dating, my strategy is nothing, I don't have the energy to expend on empty promises and broken dreams.

2021-06-12T19:51:19+00:00

looksmaxxing.
Not being over enthusiastic during the early dating weeks.
Be my awesome self !

UrFoodMolestedMyNose · 2021-06-12T18:28:37+00:00

Female, < 25. Finding a life partner and being involved in the lives of my siblings and their kids (just family in general). I wanna be that cool, successful aunt that travels a lot with her boyfriend and other cool aunt friends lol.

Not really focused on achieving that goal right now. Its CC time.

TheDevilPutD · 2021-06-12T14:00:34+00:00

When I was single it was this. First, I decided what I wanted before I even got out of the house. If I was horny and just wanted to get laid, I would go to certain places that I'm more likely to find horny women wanting to get laid. I wouldn't go to a library. If I approached a woman and she told me that she is waiting for Mr Right or is more touchy feely, I would say thanks and go my own way. I had a mission and I was not going to let anything distract me.

If I wanted to casually date, I would find women everywhere in my daily life. Taking the subway to work, on my lunch break, at a coffee place, bar, etc. I would ask them out for a drink and see if the wee is chemistry. If there was the arrangement was always that this is a purely physical relationship but we can hang out whenever we want.

If what I wanted was a serious gf, I would take her out for some food and test the shot out of her, make sure she is legit, she is not a slut, a whore, etc. sexy would happen early on (by third date at the latest) to test for sexual compatability. Then the next 2 months were usually a probation period.

Hoopy223 · 2021-06-12T14:14:01+00:00

30s male I just try to date and occasionally get laid. If I were to meet someone I really liked then I’d stick with her but most women today aren’t very monogamous.

WilliamWyattD · 2021-06-12T14:47:27+00:00

Male, forties, no children, lives overseas in East Asia

I'm letting myself get fat and not dating at all for a few years. Too complex.

Waiting a decade until I can get into post-50s dating where things get way less complex. I find older women attractive enough, and have never been super focused on appearance anyways.

So my strategy is to hit the gym and diet hard as I hit 50 and then have lots of semi-casual post 50 relationships, maybe something serious if it comes up.

Reisiluu · 2021-06-12T21:22:04+00:00

Me as a 19 year old student:

Looking nice, acting flirty and seeing what comes my way. Giving sexual vibes but not having sex with men who aren't my boyfriend. Lots of partying with people my age, old geezers were not invited. Any man who approached me with the intention to have sex or just casual dating got nothing from me. My goal was marriage, kids and a home.

Some men like to brag that they can just pretend to want commitment before they pump and dump, but in my experience they don't bother to lie to a woman who seems down for NSA sex.

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Goodthingstartssmall · 2021-06-12T15:29:05+00:00

Family
Fuck, massage, cuddle and spank my GF all day long while i give my all in the work to at least get two promotions. And the most important of all enjoying life while doing this.

29;M.

iamthemovie1992 · 2021-06-12T16:20:22+00:00

Well, I can’t get casual sex, so just going for LTRs

stats135 · 2021-06-12T16:29:25+00:00

1) My end goal has always been to either do as my grandfather have done and find a nice, young, attractive, virgin girl to marry and if that fails to just "enjoy the decline" in the quality of women and have as much sex as possible.

2) I'm 29M. I basically missed the boat in finding and marrying a high school sweetheart and not through a lack of trying. Although I've seen some of my friends get the 18 year old virgin girl after graduating school, I've probably hit the age where that's not realistic either. So my strategy has just been to laser focus on having as much sex as possible.

xFallacyx69 · 2021-06-12T16:51:51+00:00

End goal: marriage and kids with a woman who wants to be together forever because she wants the same with me.
27M: Give equal energy and immediately break it off as soon as my energy is not being matched, or I know it’s not working out (this has worked great so far).

bowserfire73 · 2021-06-12T19:56:19+00:00

M 23

My goal is to marry and have kids

I plan to keep raising my income and improve my looks with plastic surgery.

MasterTeacher123 · 2021-06-12T20:40:03+00:00

I try to find people I’m sexually attracted to and go from there. I never looked for a Gf, it just happens. Like before my current girl I never was looking for a serious relationship. She’s just awesome and I gave up my casual life for her. My strategy is cold approaching and OLD. I tend to get more attractive women from approaches tho

32 year old male

flakybottom · 2021-06-14T20:29:49+00:00

Reached 31yo with no dates or sex, not even bothering anymore. I realized I just like spoiling cute girls so I donate abhorrent amounts money on Twitch. Maybe I'm into findom?

Barely-moral · 2021-06-12T15:29:14+00:00

Male. Mid 30s

end goal at this point in your life

Have one healthy LTR on terms I consider acceptable. That LTR should only end in my death or the death of my partner.

your strategy to achieve that?

I improved myself in every aspect, then looked for miss moral in a homeless shelter. I am her best option and the only way she has to achieve her goals. So we make a deal. Both of us get what we want at the end.

_lemazaki · 2021-06-12T18:21:21+00:00

32y Male.

1) end goal at this point in your life

No goal are all as far dating is concerned but I do like women company and sex. Just meet women that become "lovers", fwb or girlfriends (LTR). Marriage is not a option or a dating goal.

2) your strategy to achieve that?

Keep my self fit, clean and sharp in socials and intelligence. I also continue to push to my financials and life goals everyday, being productive and having a good reputation. I am "always" traveling and doing stuff, sharing it, so girls can see that I have a life with movement and comfort.

Very happy at this point, even after divorce.

Title	What’s your dating strategy?
Author	poppy_blu
Upvotes	5
Comments	135
Date	June 12, 2021 1:42 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/ny71lr/whats_your_dating_strategy/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/whats-your-dating-strategy.782887 https://theredarchive.com/post/782887

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