Why are young men struggling?

Gravel_Roads · 2025-10-11T09:30:03+00:00

The tragedy of the commons, I guess.

Also, the unrealistic expectations that are put on sex make performance feel impossible. Sex is supposed to be weird and funny and awkward sometimes. If you come up on the internet thinking you’ll “pairbond” with the first woman you have sex with, and that it has to be world-shaking, drastically decreases the desire to try. The pressure is insane.

I think this is also similar to why women are also having less sex. The cost feels too high for failure.

kmb218 · 2025-10-11T09:38:19+00:00

There is a rise of female virgins as well, same goes for singleness in women. I think one of the reasons could be that typical milestones like marriage or having children got pushed to a much later age than how it used to be. Same goes for virginity and relationships. This makes younger generations have lower rates of these things. As for the reason why, probably because before having kids and settling down, it’s beneficial to have completed some education and started your carreer.

Another reason could be spending more time online instead of socializing.

esdebah · 2025-10-11T14:05:12+00:00

Money. Our society is killing men. People on this sub complain that women are hypergamous. Then complain that women love low-lifes. Straight women like men. Our society likes money. Late stage capitalism is not conducive to anything good in life.

Pure-Ad-8175 · 2025-10-11T12:17:53+00:00

1- Women did not want to date and have sex as much as they were. There were legal, social, and religious structures that pressured them to. Now they have a choice.

2- Now that women aren't pressured to partner in the same way, they're looking for different qualities in men that they aren't finding.

3- Society is generally more atomized, for a million reasons, including the internet. Men (and women) have fewer friends now, so it shouldn't be surprising that they're dating less too.

AngeAware · 2025-10-11T18:18:53+00:00

Being at OCIA (basically classes to be initiated into Catholicism) with my SO and other young couples has made me realize the extent that religion just hands people, especially men, opportunities to socialize and find wives who clearly would not have otherwise.

It's like a country whose social fabric relied on religion for a very long time is in a weird transitional period with a lot ot young men falling through the cracks. Particularly one who doesn't fit into social scenes heavily reliant on drugs and alcohol.

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StealPantera · 2025-10-11T21:09:15+00:00

It’s not the fault of women or the young men themselves. Unfortunately, at some point in history, I think around the hippy era of the last century, there was a movement to make men more sensitive and more feminine like.

This strengthened over the years, women started parroting these beliefs and before you knew it men became these “please pick me, please pick me” guys begging for attention. The roles flipped. Men became more like women and women became more like men.

The most ironic thing is that what men think today as being manly and taking on the man’s role in the mating dance, namely pursuing, initiating, courting, trying to please, trying to prove themselves, waiting around their dating apps for a girl to like them, etc., all of these are inherently feminine traits and behaviors. Courting is a submissive behavior and is naturally reserved for women.

So what happens is that men force women to act like men. Women became the chooser, they screen if the man is good enough for them, and with that naturally they start coming up with ridiculous “expectations” like he has to be 6’5” minimum, make $500K a year and have a six pack and be able to fly her to Dubai.

Men think women have all the power in dating and that they must be the ones supplicating and courting, yet for all the power that women supposedly have, they are still unhappy with their dating prospects. If women had all the power, why are they so unhappy? If even a mid fatty with 2 kids could have a Brad Pitt, why are so many of them so miserable and on anti depressants and anti anxiety drugs?

And the same for men. If we are supposed to naturally be these hunters who have to pursue women relentlessly, why aren’t the men happy? Why are they so bitter and despise women?

And the answer is because the roles have been reversed and we are playing by roles which are not in tune with our real nature. Things always workout much better when it is the woman who chases the man. When it is her idea to date and to have sex. And it works much better when the man is not pursuing but rather pulling away from her. Which makes her go even crazier.

As a matter of fact, what drives women crazy is when you don’t need them to enjoy your life and when you have a life you are enjoying. But ask yourself if any of the unsuccessful guys here think like that. Of course not. They believe having a woman is the only thing that will make them happy, they cling to their neediness and desperation as if their life depended on it.

And why are women unhappy although they are being pursued and supposedly have all the power? Because they don’t want to have all the power. They don’t want to be the man. They are turned off by a man who is weaker than her and acts as if he is inferior and has to prove himself. They are turned off by men who chase them and are forced to reject these men.

The final thing I will say is this. You can be in only one of two roles with a woman. You can either be the pursuer or the pursued. If you show up as the pursuer and behave like one, the woman has no choice but to take on the role of the pursued. You cannot have two pursuers or two pursued at the same time. It’s either one or the other. So when men show up as these desperate, pushy pursuers who desperately need women to like them so they can be happy, the women take on the role of the pursued, the prize, who screens men mercilessly.

And that’s how men are the cause of their own problem.

Lemon_gecko · 2025-10-11T06:35:48+00:00

I don’t have full understanding of situation to give an answer. “Rise of male virgins…” do we know that it wasn’t like that? People here often like to mention past but do we actually know what happened then? Then we also see the shift in how people socialise, and a lot of people don’t have a sense of community. Can it influence? I think so, since social skills are critical for well social interaction.

Then there is an obvious shift in what women want. More like they wanted it always but now they don’t have desperation or other factors to compel them to enter relationship regardless. And we see that a lot of men are not ready for it. A lot are, don’t get me wrong, society changes together. And we see more involved partners, and chores are not more split than ever. Work in progress if you ask me, but still, it’s a shift.

What i can see is that males who struggle have social awkwardness and usually entitlement either in a way that “i did everything right give me a woman”, or in a way “women are here for me to use”. The thing is both of those translate to women hatred, and it’s no surprise for me that they struggle. Is it possible that there more reasons for their struggles? Of course, but i don’t see them and i can only speak of what i see. My friend once said that he can only say that smoking is unhealthy when he sees someone smoking. That other person might also use heroine and that might kill him faster, but he doesn’t see it so has no way of knowing. But doesn’t change the fact that smoking is unhealthy.

yomel123 · 2025-10-13T15:55:22+00:00

Women aren’t willing to risk their lives for sx with men. A grapist can pick the mother of his child then get custody of that child and that’s if she survives having the kid. No thanks

Title	Why are young men struggling?
Author	Ok_Cook_3098
Upvotes	20
Comments	89
Date	October 10, 2025 6:40 PM UTC (9 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1o398kk/why_are_young_men_struggling/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/why-are-young-men-struggling.1563850 https://theredarchive.com/post/1563850

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