Why does n count matter to guys?

yall_dont_read · 2019-10-28T17:19:30+00:00

Because it indicates a woman's poor impulse control, high time preference, and impaired ability to pair bond.

Yes, there's the SMV aspect of it as well (a woman doesn't have to exert much effort to get sex) but that's true for the majority of women. What matters is how often she decides to participate in the marketplace and her choosiness in selecting a partner from it.

I'd be just as suspicious around a person who, say, impulsively buys vehicles and keeps them around, but doesn't use them or make an effort to maintain them. They might fall in love with a car as soon as they see it on the lot and for a few weeks or months after purchase, but the novelty wears off and they have to move on to another car to get their fix. And that's an overall red flag in my eyes.

Mr_Smoogs · 2019-10-28T15:41:24+00:00

It’s kinda like how women value romance. Imagine learning that all the special things your bf does for you, he does for all women. You thought that he cooked you soup when you are sick because you are special, but he actually does it for everyone. All the flowers you receive on Valentine’s Day? He gives those to his coworkers too. That cute nickname he calls you? He has cute nicknames for all the girls in his life and the cute nickname he has given you is the same exact one he’s given all his exes.

Now imagine when you express distaste about not feeling special to him you are met with a wave of:

“UMMMMSWEATY BIG YIKES, you’re not EnTiTled to ROMANCE!”

It’s like Jesus Christ lady, I know I’m not entitled to romance or feeling special. That’s kinda besides the point though right?

The past is the past right? Why should you care that I recycle cute pet names for all my girlfriends?

Honestly, I think my gf would dump me if I said that shit lol women don’t really believe half the shit that comes out of their mouth.

MasonMan1234 · 2019-10-28T16:12:33+00:00

Same reason why women care whether or not a guy has lost his virginity, it’s all about perception. If you’re a man who hasn’t lost his virginity after a certain age women will perceive you as a loser who can’t sexually satisfy any woman. If you’re a woman who has had dozens of different sexual partners throughout your life men will perceive you as a slut who’s sexually satisfying any man who comes her way.

Bntt89 · 2019-10-29T15:46:08+00:00

Why do women care about height?

Galliend · 2019-10-28T15:52:22+00:00

A lot of guys will pull up the statistics and try to logic it out but I think that's nonsense. The real reason is harder to explain which is the visceral "ick" factor of the idea of a woman who has a lot of casual sex. It's just like the "ick" factor that most women would feel at the idea of a 30 year old male virgin or a guy who uses prostitutes. We are grossed out by deviant sexual behavior in the other sex.

As long as I'm on this I'll nerd out about the evolutionary basis. A man's goal is to sexually attractive a woman to reproduce, and because the father of a child is never knowable, he has to be worried about cuckoldry. So the male imperative is to monopolize female sexuality. So men are adverse to low-sociosexual behavior in women. Meanwhile, women need men for resources and protection, so her imperative is monopolizing male commitment, which is why women are more effected by emotional affairs.

FatmanSlim93 · 2019-10-28T22:32:46+00:00

Fellas, she understand why. The question is rhetorical.

The post is trying to get you men who do care about n count to stop caring. Don’t take it literally, she’s trying to sway men’s thinning on the issue because she has s big problem with it. But make no mistake THEY KNOW WHY.

This is round about way to complain about it whilst saving face.

Translation: “I don’t really care about men’s reasons why,just please ,please stop judging my past because when I’m ready to settle down I need you men to accept anything from me.”

It’s the female version of guys who want women of value without being what those women prefer.

Don’t fall for it.

Kos_-_Omak · 2019-10-28T15:50:39+00:00

Because high n-count = damaged goods

exit_sandman · 2019-10-28T15:52:48+00:00

Because too high (or far too low) is a red flag.

If I had literally nothing else to go by but someone's accurate n-count, I would certainly use it as my canary in the coalmine.

SerpentCypher · 2019-10-28T16:00:31+00:00

Many reasons. Some guys don't want their girl to have been everybody's girl at some point. Some guys see sex as an intimate thing you only do with someone you really care about, so somebody with a high N-count doesn't have the same mentality about it. Either sex isn't a big deal and is seen in the same light as a handshake to them, or a LOT of guys have been special to them which makes current guy feel less special.

Mostly though for a lot of us it just triggers disgust, it's a pre-rational feeling that we can't shake.

Why do women think N-count/sexual history is the one thing that shouldn't matter? Looks, income, hobbies, status are all fair game, even vetting against people with a low N-count (virgins for example) is fine, but vetting against promiscuity is the one thing guaranteed to get most women REEEEEEing.

Rejecting people for their life choices is universally accepted to be a valid thing to take into account when looking for a partner, except if that life choice was to sleep with a whole bunch of people. It's weird.

jmitch88 · 2019-10-28T17:47:29+00:00

I once dated a fairly promiscuous girl my freshman year of college. I had my reasons but convenience, her effort and her 9/10 looks played a big role. We did get along well but I was not naive about who she was or planned on the relationship going anywhere. One thing many don’t point out is the experience of being attached to a person so many know biblically! Every party it would be apparent one or two guys had slept with her or had been working toward it. It’s like they were mourning the loss of easy access lay. Some played the nice guy role and were overly accommodating or nice to me. Others sized me up. Also women who knew of our brief relationship wanted answers before moving forward with me after. Those women needed to know I never took her seriously. Idk why but that’s what they wanted to know

illegallad · 2019-10-28T16:48:17+00:00

Pre-selection. While some women may enjoy sex for it's own sake, the vast majority of even slutty women want a relationship. It's the same selection issue that men who can't have sex run into. If you meet a guy who know woman finds attractive and can't get a girl to sleep with him, most women would say it's a bit of a turn off/deal breaker for them. Imagine if you found out the guy at the bar you thought was cute had been turned down four times that day already. They may realize how petty that is, but it still kills their attraction. This is the reverse of the coin. The girl who can't get a guy to commit. She's slept with half the neighborhood and each of those guys decided she wasn't worth wifeing up. Why should our subject guy be the one to fall on his sword. The previous partners who "judged" her to be not good enough for a relationship will all sneer and laugh at him too. Like the girl who dates the guy every girl in her friends group already rejected.

iLLprincipLeS · 2019-10-28T15:43:04+00:00

I can confirm this to be 100% accurate. I’ve always consistently playing between the 6-8 range. I’ve hooked up with one “9”. They really do get hit on at every moment... pats players, high rollers just comes with the territory. I make a decent living and I’d say I’m pretty ripped but there’s nothing about me that would “stand out” on Instagram or in social circles. It’s always been on and off with her but for that reason I’m probably one of the very few guys who don’t text her constantly and sweat her. Eventually she’ll vanish and I know that but enjoying the wave as is.

Million-Suns · 2019-10-28T20:42:26+00:00

Because like we often repeated, intimacy and exclusivity are tied. You don't feel exclusive with a woman whose vagina has been visited by the equivalent of a whole football team.

In addition, sex is about exchanging bodily fluids, and other males bodily fluids into your partner is rather gross.

geyejoe7 · 2019-10-28T23:06:15+00:00

VIRGIN

The pros:

you're the best she's ever had
they tend to be "tighter" down there
she only did this very intimate thing with you
stronger connection to you
will probably want to experimet

The cons:

thoughts about her being able to have a better sexual partner
potential desiring of another sexual partner, because of curiosity
possibly more clingy in a relationship because she's only done something that intimate with you

LOW N COUNT

The pros:

sexual experience
doesn't need to wonder about how it would feel with someone else, since she already had experience with others
isn't a stranger to sex (possibly more frequent)
will, potentially be willing to experiment

The cons:

you're not her first
you might not be her best
potential baggage from other sexual partners
already sort of knows what she wants, possibly won't want to experiment too much

HIGH N COUNT

The pros:

high sexual experience
isn't a stranger to sex (possibly more frequent)

The cons:

you're not her first
much less likely to be her best
potentially "used up" (not derogatory, just factual)
doesn't value sex as much
high potential of baggage from other partners
might not want to experiment since she knows what she already likes

In the end. The ideal combination is either a virgin that is madly in love and has experience other then penetration (oral, making out, etc.).

Or, a low n count woman with high interest in commitment, that didn't have casual sex.

Z285 · 2019-10-28T15:50:51+00:00

Probably because they don‘t feel as exclusive if the n count is higher.

rus9384 · 2019-10-28T19:47:36+00:00

My hypothesis: it's not about N counts per se as much it is about how sexually unrestircted she is. It is intuitive to assume a person with higher N is more sexually unrestricted.

Evolutionary it was a bad strategy to provide for such a woman and her child because in the majority of cases it ended with cuckoldry.

Today, with birth control and DNA testing (but some countries still require woman's permission for this) women can't exploit this strategy, but it takes awhile for evolution to work. And for such a thing it would take at least thousands of years for this reaction to unrestricted sexuality to disappear.

Now, it does not mean anything to guys looking just for sex and fun because they did not have to provide for a woman and her child (or if they had, they had no choice: every man provided for a tribe and then resourses got divided among members).

2019-10-28T15:52:30+00:00

Pair bonding ability. Imagine how exciting for you it is the first day owning and driving a fast car. Now imagine how much youd appreciate it years later if it was the only one youd ever drive.

Now picture if your job was to test drive fast cars and by the 300th one it doesnt even phase you enough to raise your blood pressure.

...

Tyler_Gatsby · 2019-10-28T15:51:56+00:00

Awe now you're just picking a fight, b/c you've been here long enough to see this argument, and know what their/our answers are🙄

A lot of guys cringe at women who have had more experience than them, and they've had little enough experience to actually still ask her the question of her n-count to cringe and stress over.

The underlying main reason they are concerned about it is the more guys she's had, the higher the likelihood of her having a guy who knows what real female orgasms are, and how to make them. Until or unless they get confident and comfortable with being able to make them themselves... they stress about how well some other guy did it.

BumblingBeta · 2019-10-28T20:25:08+00:00

It matters to me because if you fucked a lot of guys, the chances are that a bunch of those guys were hotter than me, more "alpha" than me, better in bed than me.

Thus you will get bored of me sexually extremely fast and way more likely to cheat or end the relationship. I don't want a relationship with someone like that. I want to be the hottest person you've had sex with and the best sex you ever had.

TheReformist94 · 2019-10-28T17:44:11+00:00

What do you not get that you have a hole between your legs, and a shit tonne of dicks have been in there. You literally get penetrated. Is that hard to understand?

jmitch88 · 2019-10-28T18:05:06+00:00

Word. I burned out on weekend hookups. They once used to motivate me and I would feel energized after a hookup. After a while I noticed my best effort wasn’t coming out. Even then there were certain acts I reserved for relationships(casual hookup usually occurs at the end of a long day or night of drinking with no showers lol) I also found the women(not all but some) that did a ton of nsa didnt perform well or at all in bed (starfish)

AutoModerator · 2019-10-28T15:17:26+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "CMV" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

SkookumTree · 2019-10-28T20:36:55+00:00

N-count matters to me because I’d like a partner that has a similar view of sex, life, and love. If you want to only fuck people that you know and have been in a relationship with, you’re going to look for someone like that. I don’t really want a partner that’s been with 100 people ‘cause we would almost certainly have very different views of sex. Not saying they’re bad people at all. Consider u/Gravel_Roads: he sees sex pretty casually, like a tennis match or some shit. Wouldn’t want to have someone like him as a partner, but he seems like a good dude, yanno?

FatmanSlim93 · 2019-10-28T21:06:00+00:00

I’ve been with one woman; I don’t want to be with someone out of my general range. They don’t want someone like me and i don’t want them. We just wouldn’t work out.

Man_Frame_YouTube · 2019-10-29T01:16:50+00:00

I have a master key here. It opens all doors. So, it's a good thing, right? I also got a lock here that looks like it gets unlocked no matter which key I use on it. That's a shitty lock, right?

So, ultimately, is the women choice to allow or not sex, unlocking herself. Now the history above makes kind of sense, no?

theoracleofosiris · 2019-10-29T11:05:05+00:00

Would you use a dildo that was used by another girl?

2019-10-29T11:50:38+00:00

deleted ^{^{^What}} ^{^{^is}} ^{^{^this?}}

MuleFool42 · 2019-10-29T20:12:55+00:00

More data is showing that a higher n count is a predictor in divorce. That's been true since about 2000. For women the magic number seems to be about 10. Anything more and the probability of divorce goes up.

So for a man looking to get married, n number matters, statistically. That may be unfair, but it is what it is. Also, when it comes to kids, more promiscuity equates to more possible infidelity by their partners. Since women always know that they are the parent of the child, they have no care. For men, it is a huge consideration that they are spending 18 to 26 years of their life and their wages on kids that are theirs. They want to know for sure that they are not wasting their resources on another man's child. So n number is a crude indicator for men about which woman he trust, all else being equal.

What with DNA testing, a lot of that can be sorted out, but before that, instinctually, men preferred more conservative women and still do today, IMO. It is a real thing with men and if they feel that way, they should not be shamed. It's just their preference, a preference that may hurt them if they end up living alone because they're as many women to choose from that meet their criteria. Still, for a lot of them, I believe their preference is to live alone than to settle for something that they are not comfortable with. And that probably is doing everyone a favor.

Workaholiconew · 2019-10-29T21:23:25+00:00

I have a somewhat strange view compared to others, I think many men try to rationalize it, when in fact it has nothing to do with rationale, but pure instinct.

Human males are just interested in low n count for LTR because of instinct, the same way how men are interested in youthfulness and good appearance. There is no "why" it just is in our genes.

I don't know how to explain it, I would no doubt have sex with a high n count woman, maybe even date if I am particularly sexless, but not have a willing long term relationship. I don't have a reason why, I just don't like the idea, I am just disgusted to the idea. Many men try to rationalize it, but I don't have any reason to, no social interest, no connection to the idea, no fetish, yet I just prefer low N count women... so I presume it is instinct.

It may be possible for you to feel the same think by thinking of having a LTR with a low income man or a man of little to no power. It does not click right? You may eat with them, maybe date them, but not think of a willing LTR. Same thing.

JezebeltheQueen5656 · 2019-11-01T16:12:50+00:00

ego trip. men are pathetically weak in the ego section they need to be reassured constantly they are The Best, The Only One, The One with the Biggest Dick, etc etc.

it's narcissism, entitlement and misogyny combined.

2019-11-03T00:21:01+00:00

Why does n count matter to guys?

Well it matters to some guys, not all.

I see from your username that you're a woman, does a guy's n count matter to you? Would you have a problem dating a guy whose n count = 200?

yall_dont_read · 2019-10-28T20:28:03+00:00

For reasons that are mostly related to ego.

The better question is: why don't women care enough about men's N count? I find overly promiscuous men unattractive and always have. At my age, there's no good reason for a male peer to have bedded 70+ women. It would take Leonardo DiCaprio levels of success for me to not be put off by a 20 or 30 something year old man who has casually bedded hundreds of women.

Everything men say about slutty women apply to slutty men: high n counts in men SCREAMS lack of impulse control, a perspective that does not properly value sexual intimacy, and a decreased ability to be faithful for long stretches of time.

KerPop42 · 2019-10-28T15:53:01+00:00

To the men it matters to, they think it’s an indication of flight chance. They want someone who’s going to stay with them, to make them feel special, and the longer the list of people who has dated them is, the less special and secure they feel.

I like the positives of both high and low N-counts: it’s easy to feel special when the person choosing you is clearly selective, but also people with a lot of experience can be very good and have fun stories. I’m not insecure about having my ability compared to others’.

Someone who has a high n count can have good judgement, and just know what they want. For example, one of my partners for a casual thing was pretty experienced in fwb arrangements and was able to outline pretty effective guidelines for not catching feelings and keeping it casual. And it was still fun as hell to screw around with her.

Dora_Bowl · 2019-10-28T17:14:04+00:00

It does not actually matter because you can imagine a woman with an n-count or 5 being less desirable than a woman with the identical n-count. A woman sleeping with 5 men over 5 men is perceived different than a woman sleeping with 5 men over 5 years. N-count is just a proxy term used to try and “logically” explain their disgust for “slutty” women via studies or trying to use some arbitrary threshold, but there is no such thing.

EspyPsyche · 2019-10-29T19:14:11+00:00

I don’t really get the male obsession with n count. All my exes have had n counts of like 20-40 except one. (My own n count is six. At age 31. And I am male. All but one of them I’ve had LTRs with.) It’s irrelevant to me. I don’t quite understand why it’s an issue.

Title	Why does n count matter to guys?
Author	__queenofsaigon_
Upvotes	12
Comments	243
Date	October 28, 2019 3:17 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/doa8as/why_does_n_count_matter_to_guys/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/why-does-n-count-matter-to-guys.293071 https://theredarchive.com/post/293071

Comments