Hot take: Fat Acceptance = Less Competition

barmitzvahmoney · 2022-02-05T19:50:36+00:00

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Tequila_Sun_Rise · 2022-02-05T20:44:16+00:00

I've thought about this so much, as bad as that sounds to say. I personally workout 4-6 days a week and I eat very clean. I used to be a size 10 and never had a problem finding guys, however many of them weren't interested in a committed relationship. Over quarantine I dropped down to a size 4 through diet and exercise, and after I immediately met my current boyfriend, who is very fit and health conscious.

Basically, I think women are going to attract guys either way. The quality of the guy is another story...

Counter_Proposition · 2022-02-05T20:20:56+00:00

What men say: “We like thicc women.” (big boobs and butts, yet small-waisted)
—vs—
What women & society hear: “Men like fat women.”

For the record, the vast majority of men are NOT attracted to fat women. Similarly, almost any man that is with a fat woman simply cannot do better. Of course “fat” is somewhat subjective, but we all get the picture. Yes, it’s harsh but it’s the truth.

teaandtalk · 2022-02-05T19:19:53+00:00

Fair enough on a dating level but it's a movement that's unhealthy for society. Is that the society you want to pay for with your tax dollars or want your children growing up in?

[deleted] · 2022-02-06T02:19:59+00:00

I once read an article that said, in effect, Monica from Friends is the ideal woman.

Or Rebel Wilson, Adele or Jennifer Hudson. Maybe even Gabourey Sidibe.

Single men were advised to creep through her social media history or look at the old pictures of her at her parents' home.

If she has lost weight and kept it off, he was counseled to head down to the jewelry store and pick out a ring and to tell her friends and sisters to look for ugly pastel dresses.

A woman who has lost weight and keeps it off has overcome adversity. She has self-discipline and determination. And she knows how to cook. She probably has a favorite sport/activity that burns calories.

If a stressful event takes place, she won't react to it by overeating. She probably doesn't want to go back to the way things were.

dietwindows · 2022-02-05T22:50:28+00:00

I'm skeptical the fat girl is as happy as she claims, especially if she's had trouble dating. Fat comes across as poor discipline, which I'm not shaming, but isn't necessarily a good character trait for developing contentment.

Vinegar88 · 2022-02-05T21:57:32+00:00

Obesity as an aesthetic trait isn't the sole reason fat people are unattractive. It takes a lack of self-control, self-awareness, and self-care to get fat. All you have to do to not be fat, is not eat in excess. I've met many women who could be considered average looking to unattractive, get a higher value man than a fat woman who, were she not fat, would be much more attractive than her. Being overweight is the first, most visible red flag, beyond being solely for looks.

Starkiller_46 · 2022-02-06T00:26:33+00:00

Totally agree. There was a girl in my old gym that was definetly bellow average in looks, but she had a butt that was simply amazing and I had a really hard time in not looking at her ass, despite her face (she was not horrendous, just not pretty). Don't stop investing in increasing your SMV and you will be fine

KombuchaEnema · 2022-02-05T19:20:08+00:00

My only issue is that this movement has led to a lot of men having lower standards.

I see a lot of men who feed into this “yaaas queen you’re a boss babe” movement. Even my husband was terrified to tell me he’d be unhappy if I gained weight. Eventually he admitted that he prefers a thin partner and would lose attraction if I gained a ton of weight, but throughout high school and college he was doing the whole “I’d love a woman no matter how much weight she gained” song and dance because men are shamed for having standards.

I see more and more men settling for (young) single mothers, party girls, women who sleep around, etc. and then getting burned for it. I see more and more men bowing their heads and saying “yes honey, yes dear” when their obese girlfriends are ordering them around and making demands. It’s pathetic and sad. And the problem is that women like this get tons of “girlboss” support from their equally-unpleasant female friends. “Oh you can’t handle a woman who’s loud and proud.”

I meet very few men who are willing to openly admit to having standards. And when a man does put a woman in her place, she has an army of simps to back her up and tell her she’s amazing and sexy and awesome.

My husband recently was in a party on PS4 and there was a girl in the party insulting everyone, being rude, telling people “suck my dick, you ain’t shit” yadda yadda. My husband made a joke toward her and she flipped shit. And of course all her little boyfriends went to back her up.

So…this concerns me.

Dont_Show_my_Friends · 2022-02-09T03:14:47+00:00

Personality and sexual compatability are more important than looks. Not to say they're completely irrelevant. But those 2 things mean more than anything.

P.s. yes I'm a man, not trying to lurk. But i wanted to figure out wth RP meant and this post caught my attention 😅

rotisserieshithead- · 2022-02-12T09:09:33+00:00

Personally, as a fat lady, I believe that nobody should hate themselves or be ridiculed for their weight/appearance. I believe in kindness. However, we can’t pretend that obesity is healthy.

The worst part of body positivity/fat acceptance is when I see a girl post about her weight loss journey and she gets attacked for being fatphobic. Like, Jesus Christ, if you were actually so happy to be fat you wouldn’t attack every person who escaped it!

2022-02-06T02:40:30+00:00

Hah, I totally get it! I used to get made fun of for being a slow runner and now most of those people are obese body positive types. But since I am married and trust my husband and a mom, I am honestly just so tired of not finding any women that want to do good for their children. Everyone's fine to stare at their phones and put Cocomelon on for their kids and eat pop tarts... :/ I am not saying I am perfect. But I would love to be around women actually interested in trying to be good moms and wives.

submissivehousewife1 · 2022-02-05T19:26:07+00:00

This is also what keeps me from gaining weight. I’m not slim by any means, but my body is proportional and my husband loves it, I’ve always been scared to gain weight and my husband and I both agree that he wouldn’t necessarily want me to be huge, and I wouldn’t be happy if I got any bigger, so that keeps it in check mostly. It’s a little rough being pregnant, but I still weigh the same as when I got pregnant. I can’t wait to start losing weight after I give birth.

But yes I don’t mind the fat acceptance movement for this exact reason. It kinda makes me feel like an asshole but oh well

cebollofor · 2022-02-05T23:44:27+00:00

My 2 cents here, as a men lightly overweight is ok, but still a red flag to me, let me explain , if a woman is not taking care of her body there is a reason behind it, is not just the looks is the reason behind that, like if she doesn’t care about herself how she can care about me or if she can’t control her impulses what else she will lack character, will she care about our kids or will let them go overweight too, healthy is a goal -does she lack resolve, if she is confident being overweight does she lack self awareness or is narcissistic?

I’m not asking for a athlete or anything just a person that can recognize bad boundaries for her and our relationship in the future

titlejunk · 2022-02-06T00:16:18+00:00

Currently raising 2 - about to be 3 - teenage girls. It’s walking a damned tightrope to be clear that “your size is important” and not be seen as a dirty fat-shamer.

88scarlet88 · 2022-02-05T23:19:29+00:00

Totally agree! I think I this often.

Ethman2k9 · 2022-02-05T22:29:58+00:00

Girls are free to be as fat as they want. And I have no obligation to be attracted to them. I’ll be their friend but I have the right to good sex. I think most of you guys wouldn’t date a fat dude either unless he made up for it in some other department. Men are different tho, personally I’d rather date a 110 lb girl who works in the local taco shack than a 200 lb CEO.

BoogieAP · 2022-02-06T13:26:07+00:00

It’s true. Shouldn’t have to be controversial it’s just what most people prefer, men and women alike

Latter_Ad_6840 · 2022-02-07T03:19:03+00:00

Yeah I think that's why men are generally less accepting of fat women than women are, their choices go down while for women it doesn't really interfere with anything.

But I also think that you know, fat women know they are fat, they know that it makes them less attractive. The dating market is brutal enough, the rest of society doesn't have to be. They absolutely get hurt in online dating if they go too far out of their league.

JawsOfLife24 · 2022-02-10T06:32:46+00:00

Spot on, I hate using this term but their SMV drastically decreases if they're obese. However I am torn on this subject, what I'm afraid of about this fat acceptance thing is that it's going to influence younger people in a negative way, as stated yes it does decrease their SMV and this is advantageous in the sense there is less competition for you, but let's not think about dating for the moment and think about human life and happiness, there's no way someone can operate their life in a positive way when they're obese, and what of the implications on cost? Depending on where you live your tax dollars might be used to keep obese people breathing, that money could be used elsewhere to better the country.

There's just something bizzare about people saying "yeah obesity is fine, this is the new norm please accept it" and also the "big is beautiful" crowd needs a reality check.

EDIT: What the hell!? I just got permabanned from offmychest because I commented here?? What the hell is wrong with this platform!? Pathetic.

newtoroo · 2022-02-05T22:23:55+00:00

This is totally psychotic but true lol. Onwards, skinny legends ✨

HappilyMrs · 2022-02-05T21:10:20+00:00

I'm fat and I'm just doing my best to keep my life as happy as I can. Body positivity makes me feel less like doing myself harm. I welcome it because life is hard enough, and realistically all anyone wants is to have a life they dont want to run away from.

I dont really care overmuch if it means I'm at a disadvantage in the dating market, I've been with my husband longer than many people on dating apps have been alive for.

I'd love to lose weight. I've tried a ton of stuff over the years, and nothing sticks. I'm looking at the underlying causes now.

whoo_chile · 2022-02-05T21:02:51+00:00

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SouthernGrass3 · 2022-02-05T21:56:43+00:00

This makes sense, but the other side of the coin is that men are capable of being attracted to heavier women, and the extent to which they like/are not bothered by women being bigger is very culturally mediated. Culture also affects how much men value certain attributes (bigger breasts/bottom) that are going to be more common in larger women.

In other words, fat acceptance leads to less competition if you are competing for men who really don’t like fat women … but it also means that more guys find fat women at least sufficiently attractive , so you are now competing much more with attractive bigger girls, and there’s far more of them than ever.

whoo_chile · 2022-02-05T22:23:08+00:00

A lot of bigger girls who know how to dress for their figure can look a lot more attractive than very thin women. Because they can put their desireable assets on display (not in a cheap way, just showing off their figure). Men usually look at the hip to waist ratio, symmetry, size of breasts and butt. I can guarantee you most men would prefer a technically 'overweight' woman with a small waist, thick healthy hair and large assets over a thin woman who works out. Obviously obesity is rarely attractive, but a big part of the body positivity movement is accepting your body and working with what you've got.

I know it won't be popular here, but I found the body positivity movement helped me so much when I was post-partum. I have the common sense to know that I need to work towards getting fit again, but when I had so much stress going on it felt nice to know that my body was okay how it was. I could give myself the time to heal without freaking out that my old clothes didn't fit at all even though I was the same weight as pre pregnancy.

I think that when people talk negatively about the BP movement, they're pointing to a lot of false flags that don't actually represent what the movement is meant to be about. If you asked any obese person if they would rather be obese rather than healthy.. 99% would say no. That doesn't mean they don't want to feel okay in their skin. Obesity is usually a result of some kind of disordered eating. It's a mental struggle far more than a physical one.

BP is intended to let you love your body again. Once you accept it, you're far more likely to want to take care of it better. As the old saying goes "Confidence is sexy".

live_long_n_prosper · 2022-02-05T20:55:15+00:00

agreed

2022-02-18T12:53:20+00:00

I would say yes. The fringe benefit of the fat acceptance movement is that I look more and more like a magazine model. You know, because the magazine models are getting more and more “realistic”. It’s still unattainable for many women, of course, because they’re fat. But it’s attainable for me.

The bar is waaaay low. All I have to do is not eat too much. I don’t have a large appetite anyway.

teaandtalk · 2022-02-05T19:50:46+00:00

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iwasneverherehaha · 2022-02-06T11:29:52+00:00

I personally dont care how much money ect a women had or makes its only important. I don't care what martieral things such as perfume brands .. as long as she dresses nicely and takes care of her health/ hygiene.

As for the nice body over nice face comment, I guess to a degree that is true.

But it really depends how overweight, fat or obese we are talking.

If your average looking your really got no problem dating unless your seriously overweight. If your average looking with an average or nice body 90% of guys are probably going to be happy with that.

I dont really understand womens dress sizes but there is definitely a cut of point to once you hit a certain size it doesnt matter how pretty you are I won't be interested.

aussiedollface2 · 2022-02-06T02:22:20+00:00

I’m not sure on the statistics but I feel like this is less of a thing in my country (Australia). I feel like people are very fit and health conscious here, with a focus on athleticism. I would def be on the lower end of the sporty scale here but when I lived in the UK people praised me for being “super sporty” and fit etc lol so the standards were very different. In my travels in the US I’ve seen people range in sizes, but def more an acceptance of larger bodies. Men in Australia generally don’t want/accept an obese woman, unless she became that way after kids. There is still a stigma here about being fat xo

Janiterluv · 2022-02-05T22:28:23+00:00

It’s been my observation that blonde hair seems more important to men than a woman’s weight. Every time I go out to a bar, at least 90% of the couples have a blonde woman, regardless of her body size. And the majority of the women who appear single, or are there without a man, are brunette or redhead. It seems that the average man would prefer an overweight blonde to a thin brunette. Even if the blonde hair is shorter, damaged, and unhealthy looking.

elettrouser · 2022-02-06T19:00:23+00:00

Unfortunately this is NOT TRUE.

The blade of fat acceptance cuts both ways: there may be less attractive women to compete with, but there are also less attractive men to compete for.

If the amount of women and men who accept becoming fat is the same then the level of competition is the same because the ratio of men being competed for by the women competing for them remains the same.

So fat acceptance makes the pool of attractive people smaller for both sexes.

LemurianStarseed11 · 2022-02-06T08:53:22+00:00

As a woman who’s a few pounds overweight, there are men who genuinely prefer this body type. I know because they tell me I’m perfect as I am and that they don’t like skinny women. But yeah, morbidly obese women are probably at a disadvantage.

WonderingWomans · 2022-02-07T19:21:28+00:00

Hey, fyi, there are actually studies that show fat women are sexually more desireable than thin ones (to straight men). It's just that that desired is being ridiculed and made to feel ashamed of.

kayama57 · 2022-02-06T16:59:23+00:00

I think fat shaming is more sick because there’s a sadistic element to it, but there’s a limit to the benefits of body positivity as well. It’s the overeating equivalent of cheering someone along as they chug a whole keg of beer. I want them to enjoy themselves free from judgement throughout their whole lives but there’s no way that actively encouraging them to do this is a good thing.

And on the competition front: don’t be ridiculous. If everybody in your potential dating pool lets themselves go you will just follow the trend after a couple of seasons. I would much rather have a higher percentage of the total population in a much higher condition (I mean in excellent mental and physical health) so that picking and choosing who to partner with was less dependent on aesthetics but rather on the core and substance of people’s being

parsleyleaf · 2022-02-06T14:51:30+00:00

Y’all some men like women with meat and curves hahaha

jostyouraveragejoe2 · 2022-02-05T19:22:36+00:00

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yourbadformylungs · 2022-02-15T10:43:20+00:00

I really hate to say it but this is true.

It means us women who would otherwise be considered reletively average or possibly below average in a world full of healthy weight women are actually above average in a world with the majority of women overweight/obese.

I personally would consider myself average for my age group and area. Although I really think if women the women in my area were more fit I’d be considered below average.

Tbh, I’m definitely benefiting from this fat acceptance movement by being the attractive one, although I really do wish my fellow women would be able to have healthier more attractive bodies.

I also think more unattractive or lower income people should start dating eachother. That is if they are mentally healthy, good people, and unfortunately most people I’d argue, good looking or not are not fit for a relationship, which is the real issue as to why we are seeing such a decline in people starting families and staying together in relationships that lead to marriage.

I know people cannot help what they are attracted to but I think if people just opened their minds a little they could actually find partners while being below average physically or on the lower income spectrum.

Like yeh Sally has a bigger nose and Nick is a little short but if those two focused on the positive physical features in each other and considering they were two mentally healthy, mature individuals fit for a relationship I think they could have a happy life together.

Or of course there is the later option that they could both stay single forever and whine about how they can’t find anybody because they refuse to date each other. But I’d argue being single going through multiple losers throughout your life opposed to finding one really good person to spend your life with has its cons.

I also think the issue is people want to think of themselves as hotter than they actually are. In high school I definitely I had this issue. The older I got I was able to accept that I’m not the best looking person but that doesn’t mean I cannot find happy healthy relationship. I eventually found a good, healthy relationship and I really couldn’t be happier.

MannerGullible9923 · 2022-03-01T17:42:29+00:00

I’m fatphobic but at least i acknowledge it’s wrong and i’m a bad person for it. you people have no souls.

PuzzleheadedMiddle44 · 2022-03-01T18:08:35+00:00

So question:

Let’s say you find, fall in love with , and marry this mystical HVM that loves you in all your thin glory. Let’s at you are blessed with the miracle of twins and put on about 60 pounds as a result of carrying and birthing these children.

What do you think happens then?

Any_Buy2221 · 2022-08-06T15:36:05+00:00

It also means less to choose from

Buildinsilence · 2023-01-10T08:53:30+00:00

I like my girls thick but not gross, I like mom bods and milfs bc the maturity is a thing for me, but beyond a certain limit i won’t touch a girl

Proud_Station1391 · 2023-01-17T16:56:37+00:00

Man lurking here. A fit woman will always be sexier than a fat woman with a pretty face. Always. We have an instinct to protect women. Throw women over our shoulder or pick them up in desperate times.

How are we gonna pick up a fat woman?

A fit woman is becoming a status symbol at this point

lemaire86 · 2023-04-12T20:55:50+00:00

She ain’t lying

kcchan86 · 2023-09-14T07:53:43+00:00

That is an excellent theory. Thank you for sharing.

pvgvg · 2023-10-09T05:06:28+00:00

Women underestimate the power they have over men as an object of desire. Taking care of ourselves physically, always groomed, being clean and perfumed is essential to keep a man's attention and love. Feminist currently advocate for the opposite; to be fat and hairy, with short hair etc. Beauty is power. So yes, less competition makes life easier.

AstronomerTop4467 · 2023-10-15T00:20:47+00:00

go clean dishes bitch

Title	Hot take: Fat Acceptance = Less Competition
Author	whoo_chile
Upvotes	457
Comments	161
Date	February 5, 2022 7:03 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/sle4hn/hot_take_fat_acceptance_less_competition/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/hot-take-fat-acceptance-less-competition.1099571 https://theredarchive.com/post/1099571

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