Seems like a keeper.

me_at_myhouse · 2021-04-06T00:08:38+00:00

Not only are you not allowed to not EAT meat, YOUR meat must be cut and for heaven's sake you better not be beating your meat to porn.

May I suggest that her self-improvement journey include a detour through TOLERANCE?

Because while she is seeking an empathetic man, she has ZERO empathy for you.

Just being brutally honest here.

InevitableOwl1 · 2021-04-06T00:25:11+00:00

Why do these women even waste their time writing “tall”. We get it already!

Liberal - I don’t have a problem with ideologies personally (in theory) but it being in your profile means you are one of the vocal , woke , activist kind of liberals. So utterly insufferable and impossible to please

Brutally honest = rude

Night owl = alcoholic and potential druggy

Couch potato = fat and lazy

DDlg = a super weird kink for a mature woman to have. Nearly always a fat chick kink. Also shows she wants to just regress to a child and be treated like one

Dog person = no comment. This is usually a positive unless the dog is a substitute child. This woman has a lot of flaws but we can’t assume this and I wouldn’t

Game nights = no comment. This isn’t unreasonable

“I’m working on self improvement” = I haven’t bothered to start yet and rely on my future partner to force me to

I can’t be the only one finding insisting on circumcision super super weird . As in just mind blowing

Joshua886 · 2021-04-06T00:46:39+00:00

"No trump supporters" wants a tall bearded white man. Thought that was a lefty no no.

Odd-Reference-32 · 2021-04-06T00:02:47+00:00

Circumcised eh? Can we expect the same from your clit?

Rinthegreat · 2021-04-05T23:55:57+00:00

Jesus what a list lol

billdehaan2 · 2021-04-06T01:39:51+00:00

Let's play... the math game!

Liberal/No Trump supporters: ~50% of the population

Non-meat eaters: 1% of the US population

Non-smokers: 86% of the US population

Circumsized: ranges from 20% to 80% depending on state. Too much variance, ignoring.

Non-Religious: 60%

White: depending on state, 43% to 97%, so ignoring this, too.

Non-porn: is she kidding?

Building a Venn diagram of these, the biggest limiting factor is the non-meat eating, which immediately disqualifies 99% of the population.

Much of that will overlap with the Liberal mindset, so not many will be lost politically. Likewise, soy-eating liberals are rarely religious, so they're probably already all within the 60% non-religious.

White: again, a huge overlap with the Liberals. Vegetarian Republicans? Yeah, right.

However, non-smoking is a huge problem for her. Sure, tobacco's out; vegetarians despise the stuff. But weed? Seriously, how many white, non-meat eating liberals aren't potheads?

Points for not having three kids and demanding a six figure income, and the "dad bod" comment is a refreshing change, as well. But a vegan leftist who doesn't toke up? He could ride to their first date on his unicorn.

EDIT: from a comment below, I realized I'd skipped a line about "DDlg". I'm a C++ coder, I read that as "Dropdown Dialog", I wasn't sure what else it meant.

I just looked it up on Urban Dictionary, and now I can never not know what it is.

I think in the future, I'm going to cling to my ignorance about acronyms I read in this subreddit that rather than look them up.

HolyGourdofJerusalem · 2021-04-06T00:02:40+00:00

Asposematism warning! In this case, literally a "red" flag!

That aside (as wild dyejobs scream "daddy issues" and/or mental illness), her profile is cringeworthy.

She should eat some meat...she looks anemic and sickly...and much older than 34.

EDIT: when I typed the above. I didn't know what "DDlg" was. Now that I do, I see the hair dye = daddy issues equation is proven true, yet again. Crazy...

kidruhil · 2021-04-06T00:21:28+00:00

Horribly forced looking smile, def has RBF when not 'posing'

Typical control freak, entitled western feminist. Hard pass

Land_of_the_Losers · 2021-04-06T00:25:56+00:00

watch porn

Yes but what is pornography? Do romance novels count? How about the vagina-based sculptures of Judy Chicago and Megumi Igarashi? Or Robert Mapplethorpe's gritty nudes? At what points in time are we talking about? Public art in Rome's Pompeii was considered too explicit by the Victorian era, so who was correct? Where do we draw the line? Why is the sun so warm? What makes a winter storm? What's a quadruped? Why is the planet Mars red? How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

Lando_620 · 2021-04-06T00:22:22+00:00

You know in home alone 2 when he falls through the floor then looks and says "Wow, what a hole." That is my thought watching her dig the grave of her romantic life. She dug like 1 foot for each of her 34 years of life.

Joaquino7997 · 2021-04-06T01:03:21+00:00

"Brutally honest" means "bitch who doesn't think before she speaks."

Pass.

gentle_lemon · 2021-04-06T00:32:43+00:00

Jesus, she looks like she could eat an apple through a chain link fence. :-/

Blissbynature · 2021-04-06T00:43:13+00:00

Brutally honest always means being a rude bitch and pretending they're doing you a favor.

CondensedBemusement · 2021-04-06T01:39:16+00:00

She could have saved a lot of space and just made her profile:

Entitled arrogant bigot psycho

Justification for the above claim:

Entitled: Demands consideration and empathy, yet displays zero evidence of either. (See bigot)

Arrogant: Demands that you have been through a cosmetic surgical procedure (virtually all circumcisions are cosmetic, having no medical basis) which is, in many peoples opinion, genital mutilation ... that's pretty damn arrogant. Additionally assumes anyone her age (or older) is going to need self-improvement.

Bigot: Anyone who calls themselves a liberal and classes ALL Trump supporters, or religious people, as a monolith is a bigot by definition.

Psycho: The picture (that hair!) and the entire profile (especially the DDlg) screams Crazy. And all know the one about where you do NOT put your dick!

kapriece · 2021-04-06T01:07:12+00:00

Sound like she's been browsing FDS. NO porn? In today's relationships where they feel like you have to wine and dine. Even after that they act like it's a chore for sex or they don't want to do it at all. Just spend your money on them and no return but hey no porn tho. GTFOH. Not to mention you can tell she's ugly from the chin. Ugly women have the highest demands these days.

Old_snowboarder · 2021-04-06T06:54:46+00:00

Wants a circumcised guy? So she's happy to support a system of genital mutilation for men, men who who never asked for their consent?

Nice.

Wonder what she'd say to a guy who thinks FGM is OK?

houseoftolstoy · 2021-04-06T02:16:10+00:00

The only reason I can think of for her mentioning circumcision is if she was s part of a religion such as Judaism. Seeing that she wants a guy that is not religious, I am left to wonder why she mentions it. I think it is highly disturbing that she brings it up at all.

stavago · 2021-04-06T02:45:22+00:00

Into DD/lg but porn is bad?

NickTesla2018 · 2021-04-06T00:34:44+00:00

Five minutes into the insufferable date, you want to step in front of a bus that's hit by a train.

CSM_Pepper · 2021-04-06T00:47:57+00:00

Prime datingoverthirty or childfree material right there.

I'm working on self-improvement

Pressing X to doubt from space, just to be sure.

HugeQock · 2021-04-06T04:06:00+00:00

Vegan/Vegetarian men are only 2% of the population. She is limiting herself to 2% of the population and THEN has standards on top of it. She finna be lonely as hell!

brianmcg321 · 2021-04-06T01:43:44+00:00

no eating or beating meat. Nope.

MrHupfDohle · 2021-04-06T08:18:47+00:00

Seriously? Circumcised?! Disgusting to demand a mutilated body!

devok1 · 2021-04-06T11:02:56+00:00

Just get your genitals mutilated to please her.

🤡🌍

Dunkman83 · 2021-04-06T06:14:32+00:00

i used OLD very early on, most profiles would say " hey im jane, im a nurse, i work nights, and love johnny depp".

now look at this mess.. what has become of women? seriously??

SCCock · 2021-04-06T01:05:45+00:00

Well, I've got a granddad bod. Is that OK?

SCCock · 2021-04-06T02:06:14+00:00

Had to look up DDIg. Now the acceptance of a dad bod makes sense.

Melek_Taus666 · 2021-04-06T03:03:05+00:00

Oh no not another libtard. So she does not eat meat? Doesn't that make her a lesbian?

heatspirit · 2021-04-06T03:43:55+00:00

Fluent in sarcasm = Be ready to deal with 24/7 rudeness

danger_noodl · 2021-04-06T10:00:15+00:00

Smells like FDS to me

BlackPillPusher · 2021-04-06T12:07:28+00:00

"Looking for a sexually mutilated, easily manipulated guy who's also a 6"1 alpha chad, in return for his immortal soul and access to any and all of his resources, I offer mental health issues, obligations, used up orfices and anywhere between a small hill to a whole mountain range of debt."

What a deal guys, how is she even still single at that ahd

Porscheguy928S · 2021-04-06T02:42:01+00:00

I wonder why she’s so insistent on being circumcised?

Jeviok · 2021-04-06T04:42:48+00:00

I like how circumcised was listed before considerate and empathetic gentleman. Shows where the priorities are. Does she demand proof up front?

_Icarus_Reborn_ · 2021-04-06T09:09:28+00:00

I know I always want my partner preference to include genital mutilation.

Also - Todays online SOP. Dictate what you want and don't state what you can offer.

MephistophlesofAZ · 2021-04-06T09:10:14+00:00

Bitch, you are ugly. Take whatever you can get and shut the fuck up.

Odd-Reference-32 · 2021-04-06T02:03:59+00:00

Her profile says vegetarian, but her attitude says carnivore.

Sid_Insidious · 2021-04-06T04:42:00+00:00

I eat beef sashimi while masturbating to Hentai porn.

So... that's a "no" then?

Stahlboden · 2021-04-06T05:53:46+00:00

Well, if i really have to...

Grabs pp in one hand and potato peeler in the other

troomer50 · 2021-04-06T08:59:30+00:00

Dad bod please, hold the dad.

Griever114 · 2021-04-06T12:23:33+00:00

~~Circumcised~~

You mean mutilated at birth you fucking thot.

jws755 · 2021-04-06T01:49:19+00:00

And to think she’s single. Men are not ordered with features like a car. Christ!

DL505 · 2021-04-06T03:34:03+00:00

This sub is great for laughs. However DDlg was new to me, and I googled it

Jeezus. Glad I am married to my Ibanez S and the squat bar.

und3r-c0v3r · 2021-04-06T07:44:32+00:00

Good luck finding someone who doesn't watch porn and isn't religions

jflc3l · 2021-04-06T08:44:38+00:00

She basically wants a tall soyboy™️

Spaciernight · 2021-04-06T15:17:33+00:00

Ddlg is an instant pass. We're both adults, why would I want to deal with your tantrums and making sure you take care of yourself. Plus, its creepy. "Yeah we're into age play. Her wittle age is 4, it's sexy" No, it's a pedo fantasy.

Winnardairshows · 2021-04-06T03:58:08+00:00

Whore.

2021-04-06T04:28:33+00:00

Somebody tell her to vett out people while looking at profiles and chatting DONT MENTION IT ON THE PROFILE. Daft.

It looks like she's looking for a man just like her ex or something. Very specific.

So a tall lil bearded white man into ddlg who has a dad bod doesn't smoke. Liberal atheist vegetarian. Not into porn and circumcised. Childfree(if the dude has no kids and wants a 34 year old cmon). Superior in conversating.

If you ever met anybody who fits that description you know they are a nightmare to even have as a friend.

max_kek · 2021-04-06T09:30:14+00:00

Circumcised & not religious - that's a weird combo

Vasraktorvi · 2021-04-06T10:53:10+00:00

Ahh this self improvement chicks...run away instant. They waste entire life beign lazy and usless under excuse “self improvment”

lorum_ipsum_dolor · 2021-04-06T11:47:18+00:00

Boy was that steak I had this weekend delicious. Kept me out of this woman's life too. A win-win if you ask me.

2021-04-06T12:07:38+00:00

What is it with women and trying to control when a man cums? It's not enough for them to control their own bodies, they want to control ours too.

Enough-Staff-2976 · 2021-04-06T15:22:19+00:00

[deleted]

Devilsgun · 2021-04-06T03:55:40+00:00

What a fancy, useless turd of a wet hole that brings nothing to the table but cuntiness

HornsOfApathy · 2021-04-06T04:29:08+00:00

DDlg made me spit out the icing to the cake which is daddy issues she wants to act out with you.

meerita · 2021-04-06T07:58:47+00:00

Imagine how miserable life must be aside of this psycho bitch

Rex-Holes · 2021-04-06T08:28:26+00:00

No eating meat or watching porn

She wants to control not only what you get off to but what you put in your diet as well.

Looking for circumcised, considerate empathetic gentleman

She will judge you on your not only your body but also your personality traits while expecting this to be a one way street. She also expects status reports

seeking LTR without kids

I'm infertile and I need someone to bail me out

No smokers, religious people, or Trump supporters

You may not have a personality or beliefs of your own

Hopefully a tall white guy with a dad bod, maybe a short beard

She's hoping that that one guy who comes into her work to grab coffee every now and then (who has no interest in her at all) sees this post and asks her out

Liberal, brutally honest, night owl, couch potato, DDing, dog person, game nights

Woke, a bitch, no responsibility, lazy, wants to feel morally superior than her friends, game nights (game nights are about the only thing on her list that is semi normal)

I'm working on self improvement and looking for the same in a partner

I don't have my shit together but I want you to.

The fifth element hair is icing on the cake. When woman dye their hair extravagant unusual colours, it means they have personality traits for attention seeking. Good find Sir, prime example what to watch out for.

peguy2000 · 2021-04-06T09:29:42+00:00

No amount of self improvement will turn back her age. She sounds like a FDS woman. Expecting full price for a car thats been heavily in use for 15years

UltimateShame · 2021-04-06T09:42:23+00:00

Sounds like a toxic and problematic person with lots of drama.

JakeDC · 2021-04-06T10:34:50+00:00

I'm working on self improvement

Well, ya got a long way to go, sweet cheeks.

IncorrigibleLee86 · 2021-04-06T10:36:57+00:00

Compared to 99% of the profiles on here, it is refreshing to see somewhat normal women exist.

GL to her on the no meat & porn. Those dudes are usually religious and conservative.

evergreen35 · 2021-04-06T11:12:57+00:00

She will give you tranquilized-mattress sex once a week, but NO PORN FOR YOU, so you better not have a healthy sex drive.

I don't even need to see her whole face to know that she is not a beauty.

Nysinr · 2021-04-06T11:21:14+00:00

she isn't seeking for love, because you are supposed to love someone inspite of their flaws. this is one of the major rerasons as to why tinder does not work.

OwenWentFullMGTOW · 2021-04-06T14:12:34+00:00

"I'm working on self-improvement and looking for a partner who won't challenge me in any way or do anything I disapprove of."

trumpasaurus_erectus · 2021-04-06T15:05:15+00:00

Welp, my son's intact so I guess he'll miss out on jewels like this!

04Liberty · 2021-04-06T15:11:43+00:00

I'm cut, but why does she feel the need to specify that she wants a circumcised guy? Does it really matter?

phlents · 2021-04-06T15:18:57+00:00

I bet her p*ssy smells like stale taco sauce and sea food

Sake99 · 2021-04-06T07:14:50+00:00

Dating her is like dating Joker.

Joh_Ghurt · 2021-04-06T09:56:55+00:00

I once had a girlfriend like her. The critical part is DD/lg. She most likely has daddy issues, feels lost and wants someone to lead her. Probably with a bratty streak going by the laundry-list of requirements.

Second most important thing would be how serious she is about self-improvement. If she really takes it seriously, then there are good chances. If she just want improvement without effort, it'll be hopeless. Hard to know.

All then so called must-not -have suddenly become quite negotiable or can be ignored. It's just a little girl writing in her journal how she imagines her prince will be and what colours the bridesmaids will wear.

chucoe · 2021-04-06T11:24:08+00:00

ALL that and she is like 2/10, 34yo

newtomtl83 · 2021-04-06T11:29:56+00:00

The text is really redundant with the picture.

DoctorMars81 · 2021-04-06T11:42:48+00:00

I have literally never met a man in my 39 years who did not watch porn.

muaythaiteep · 2021-04-06T12:12:23+00:00

I’m out after the first couple of lines

UndrrondXzy · 2021-04-06T12:28:20+00:00

How the hell can someone manage to put there the demand of not watching porn and demanding immediately after for uncircumcised penis lmaooo

2021-04-06T12:34:06+00:00

I strike out of most of her checklist.

Chucking100s · 2021-04-06T12:36:45+00:00

DDlg thooooo

Pilotman49 · 2021-04-06T12:51:24+00:00

Seems like she has plenty of room for improvement, so she nailed that one.

EvanGRogers · 2021-04-06T13:00:20+00:00

She wants a non-religious, non-Trump supporter who doesn't watch porn?

Good luck.

Actual_Lightskin · 2021-04-06T13:13:50+00:00

“Liberal”

Homely_Bonfire · 2021-04-06T13:18:59+00:00

"Oh yeah, I will keep her on the couch." Therapists, Sanatorium staff.

fickle_fuck · 2021-04-06T13:22:36+00:00

I'd rather keep eating and beating meat than be with that prize...

ChadTheImpailer · 2021-04-06T13:24:12+00:00

Atleast she's like everyone else in some regards 'TALL'

mustangfrank · 2021-04-06T13:27:54+00:00

Good thing I don't meet the qualifications.

Zestyclose-Promise · 2021-04-06T13:54:37+00:00

The Daddy Dom/ Little Girl kink is a bug yikes in my opinion.... Incest pedo roleplay kinks are a huge nope the fuck out of here for me.

vivab0rg · 2021-04-06T14:22:26+00:00

Nice shopping list from la-la-land you got there.

SkullKidd1986 · 2021-04-06T16:02:10+00:00

Some of these women seriously think that online dating is just build a man workshop holy fuck.

Enough-Staff-2976 · 2021-04-06T16:12:53+00:00

Here is her truth: Circumcision: She sucked off unwashed uncircumcised men with loads of smegma.

Sarcasm: Her mouth gets her in trouble.

LTR No kids: She had an abortion.

No Smokers: She's a former smoker.

Religion: She's a child from a strict home and now she's Wiccan.

No Trump: She watches and loves the media.

White guys: She wants to be supported for doing nothing.

Dad bods: She has had a lot of Chads, who P&D.

DDlg: She wants to be unaccountable.

smfuel87 · 2021-04-06T16:39:10+00:00

"fluent in sarcasm", ahh the catch phrase of all basic whores.

shitpancake1 · 2021-04-06T16:53:29+00:00

This guy has orange hair!

BluepillProfessor · 2021-04-06T17:43:08+00:00

Vegetarians: 2% of Conservatives; 11% of liberals: Let's say 5% just to be fair.

Trump SUpporters: 45% of the population

nonsmokers: 95%

Religious People: 30%

White: 70%

Dad bod: 80%

Circumcised; 70%

No Porn: 0%.

So just for fun, lets assume all these variables are independent. Most of them are anyway. Multiplying them gives you the fraction of the population that meets all the criteria:

.05 * .45 * .95 * .3 * .7 *.8 *.7 = .0025.

So 2/10 of 1% (.2%) of men meet her qualifications. 99.98% of men do not.

And..if you add no watching porn, then you get to multiply by 0.

🤡🌎

Jake-Jacksons · 2021-04-06T18:18:25+00:00

If a guy has to be all of that to start with, what is left for self-improvement?

tiernach · 2021-04-06T20:33:32+00:00

Looking for a beta male to control and can't figure out why she's not been successful in relationships.

CartNip · 2021-04-10T22:05:13+00:00

Ddlg and self improvement do not belong anywhere near each other, very strong sign of abuse. Also seems like the type of person to cavenaugh you

BeeRaddBroodler · 2021-04-13T12:51:42+00:00

Imagine a dude saying “ must have a small labia”.

djc_tech · 2021-04-13T17:07:39+00:00

I see this “fluent in sarcasm” line all the time. I’m like...so you’re just a passive aggressive bitch. That’s usually what it means.

She’s also a couch potato! Awesome so you’re a passive aggressive bitch and you’re lazy. Not sure why you’re single!

Throwaway665yy · 2021-04-06T05:28:36+00:00

Working on self improvement = I got heartbroken by chad in my early 20's. Now I have hit wall hard and nobody wants me so I want good man to settled down .

Daniel-01239 · 2021-04-06T08:00:35+00:00

Tall blokes. You can have this one

Pfunk4444 · 2021-04-06T11:51:47+00:00

I can’t get past the meat part

DrMedium · 2021-04-06T22:02:14+00:00

"Seems like a keeper...." in a cage.

NoEyesNoGroin · 2021-04-07T00:18:33+00:00

Wow, yes! I'd love to spend my life with a narcissist programmed to hate me and to never contribute to humanity's continued existence!

PinkWarPig · 2021-04-07T00:22:13+00:00

This is it guys, going to cut a piece of my dick for this lady

giantgladiator · 2021-04-07T00:32:51+00:00

No porn, no smoking, circumcised AND non religious.

These four criteria combined are already a hard ask, yet she finds a way to add more.

BoredDellTechnician · 2021-04-07T15:24:24+00:00

I keep a red MAGA hat on the coat rack behind my front door. It's not noticable at all when walking in the house but obvious as hell when being walked out the front door. It's caused some interesting conversations and ultimate saved me a lot of headaches.

efraim-refrain · 2021-04-07T16:23:45+00:00

What's with the 'circumcised' requirement?

Shogun7272 · 2021-04-08T05:41:58+00:00

Wait wait wait wait...this ugly white is some kinda liberal? But wants a white guy!??? Thot is racist 🤷🏻‍♂️

BetteMale · 2021-04-08T14:16:16+00:00

Shes a clown but lol @ the manlet rage in this thread

mustangfrank · 2021-04-08T22:41:23+00:00

She: I don't do shit. Give me money.

rvail136 · 2021-04-09T20:26:47+00:00

Hon, I'm sorry but steak is way to important to give up for someone like you...and if I was with you, porn would be the only satisfaction I'd have...just sayin'...

griffglen · 2021-04-11T22:02:27+00:00

The further I read, the closer my eyebrows got to each other. How do people even date these days?! These lists of demands just hurt my brain.

super-happy-throw · 2021-04-27T07:34:42+00:00

The “Seeking a circumcised” part is really specific

roboderp16 · 2021-04-06T13:31:48+00:00

Tall white guy,

Aight she's probably racist

sharedisaster · 2021-04-06T13:46:08+00:00

‘WHITES ONLY’ 😂

TJCasperson · 2021-04-06T14:06:22+00:00

To be fair to her, a bunch of these seem like bad experiences she’s had with guys in the past. Not unrealistic expectations that come out of nowhere like a lot of the whores on here.

PunjabiPakistani_ · 2021-04-06T04:59:18+00:00

At least she’s american

if she wasn’t that means she wanted a vegan jew or muslim 😆

Seems like a keeper.

Comments

Correction:

Title	Seems like a keeper.
Author	stoicstigma
Upvotes	580
Comments	288
Date	April 5, 2021 11:54 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen/comments/mkyf9g/seems_like_a_keeper/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen/seems-like-a-keeper.778465 https://theredarchive.com/post/778465