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tay11fish · 2022-07-21T18:23:44+00:00

I just start making out with myself, then she starts to feel like she is missing out and joins.

CompetitionFair7686 · 2022-07-21T14:12:55+00:00

You could just say: “_i’m trying so hard not to kiss you right now_” or “_If you keep smiling at me like that, i’m going to kiss you_”…

If she doesn’t get the fuck away or doesn’t get visibly repulsed at the idea, that’s your sign to just kiss her.

Sometimes the consent is non verbal and implicit too

Weary_Horse5749 · 2022-07-21T17:35:52+00:00

I have always asked “I usually go for it, but you seem to be the kind of girl who likes to be asked before kissing”.
Works all the time

Blaphrodite · 2022-07-21T18:22:32+00:00

I prefer to get asked. Subtly or overtly. Better than being suddenly invaded by tongue

Canadian-Seductioner · 2022-07-21T14:53:11+00:00

I've never asked lmao I just go for it when the vibe is right.

traybro · 2022-07-21T15:55:25+00:00

Ive done it before, and it feels so awkward and unsexy, kills the anticipation and mystery. Consent in general is important, but it doesn’t have to always be verbalized, it can also be given through body language and the overall vibe.

chopstickfighter · 2022-07-21T19:51:09+00:00

Some of you guys need to learn that it’s not just the kiss itself that turns on the woman, but the way you lead up to it and make her anticipate it with your sexy talk. There are a ton of creative ways to ask for consent that aren’t “uhh, can I kiss you now?”

canuckle1211 · 2022-07-21T17:44:09+00:00

I asked a girl once can I kiss you when we were cuddling on the couch looking into each other’s eyes with tension and she said “woww~ so polite” in a good way and we later boned. So I’d say it’s a good thing if you do it right and natural.

ometeot · 2022-07-21T16:30:06+00:00

From experience, on good dates, there’s always that 2-3 second tension when you’re saying your goodbyes that signals that she’s open to it.

Technique is important too, go in slowly but surely. If for whatever reason you’ve misread the situation, she’ll have a chance to just give the cheek and turn it into a friendly goodbye rather than an awkward rejection.

If you’re too shy and end up going for the cheek directly, at least take your time to see her reaction. Is she disappointed or relieved? That’ll tell you everything.

naught_my_dad · 2022-07-21T18:03:15+00:00

I don’t ask, although I should, but this depends on the woman, obv consent is huge, but some don’t want to be bothered with it and just want you to know and decide and others it means everything and you need to be able to figure that out through conversation

Usually body language tells me

by the time I’m ready to kiss we’re already being physical, sitting close, and some flirtatious touching let’s me know it’s acceptable.

Like for instance I took a young lady out to dinner and to get drinks, we secure a booth where we can sit close, immediately our legs graze and I don’t move and neither does she, good sign we’re touching and maintaining contact.

As we talk and get more comfortable I touch her hand and compliment her nails, then we get new drinks I got stuck at the bar a few moments and due to the delay conversation has paused, but eye contact is there Im smiling I graze the nape of her neck and trace it with my fingers, She laughs and says are we having a moment,

I say yeah. Then I go for it, pull her head in gently and we’re kissing.

They key takeaways are her placement to urself, did she sit close or far? Is she making it easy or hard for you to close the gap? More often they’ll sit or place themselves close when they like you/want you to make a move

Physical contact, flirty touching, and good conversation all escalates it, and lastly don’t miss your opportunity

canuckle1211 · 2022-07-21T17:13:57+00:00

I've said it and not said it. It's a vibe thing totally dependent on the situation.

If I do ask, it's something along the lines of, "I feel like kissing you right now, thoughts?" Playful.

If there is any hesitation/response other than no, you go in. And for anyone who says this is a simp move or something, Mystery (the person who more or less created this whole thing) supports this approach. Again, depends on the vibe.

bigmanpav · 2022-07-21T17:47:44+00:00

I usually just go for it, but if I'm unsure I like to flirtingly ask "Would you slap me if I kissed you right now?" and her answer (sarcastic or not) tells me everything.

Aware-Page-3953 · 2022-07-21T19:06:33+00:00

I think it’s super sexy when a man asks “can I kiss you?” I would feel so uncomfortable if somebody did it without asking. So please, ask. No, it doesn’t kill the mood if you do it naturally and at the appropriate time ( you will feel the vibe, preferably when you are alone with her)

thadoomburg · 2022-07-21T18:12:02+00:00

If she has her face close to yours and is staring at your lips or eyes just go ahead and lean in a tad while looking at her lips and ask “Can I kiss you?”. Easy peasy. Consent is respectful, sexy and intimate.

TemperatureAlert2370 · 2022-07-21T20:03:37+00:00

Current bf asked for consent to kiss me on our 3rd date. I had already told him after the second date that I wanted to kiss him, but he still asked for consent.

mjornir · 2022-07-21T20:10:44+00:00

I had a strange moment on a date last night where I asked, she said no, and then a few moments later we ended up kissing anyway. We just kinda fell into it.

People like to hype up asking for consent for a kiss & say it’s sexy but my spicy take is that if you’re asking for it you likely already have the answer. You should just be able to read the room. Easier said than done but you break/luck out once and you can start to recognize the patterns.

(Please note that this only applies to kissing, I still encourage asking for consent for things beyond that)

Radicalmattitude1 · 2022-07-21T20:35:46+00:00

You could or you couldn’t. I don’t think it would make much of a difference. The main problem guys have is that they don’t go for the kids until eons after the moment has passed. If you have to ask for her permission to get more comfortable kissing girls on dates then go for it man!

GreatScotRace · 2022-07-21T20:40:34+00:00

If someone asked to kiss me my vagina would shrivel back up inside itself. It’s so unattractive to me. I definitely need someone that had enough confidence hurt to kiss me when they know it’s the right moment

Live-Ad-6309 · 2022-07-21T18:00:53+00:00

She's talking a load of crap. "can I kiss you" in most contexts in the least romantic/sexy way you can kiss a woman. It tells her you do not have self confidence in your ability to read the situation or confidence in her attraction towards you. It might not land you in the friend zone but it will not turn her on.

You are supposed to judge based on her body language and take charge of the situation. This is how most women want to be kissed. They do not want to have to give a man permission. And this is true in other areas too. Most women want men to lead them, at least in the context of romance/sexuality.

And don't worry about misreading. If she doesn't want to kiss you, she'll turn he cheek. Awckward? Maybe. But a hell of a lot better than "can I kiss you".

securetheba_g · 2022-07-21T19:50:20+00:00

Highly disagree

jtaylor27141 · 2022-07-21T20:43:47+00:00

I ask girl before I kiss them like 75% of the time (other times we have before) . I’ve had mixed success (usually about 60-80%), but I’d take that 20-40% risk of rejection rather than fucking up once and being considered a creep.

DufflebagForever · 2022-07-21T20:58:55+00:00

depends on the girl

SalamanderNo3872 · 2022-07-21T21:09:04+00:00

Total nonsense

neversleeps212 · 2022-07-21T21:22:36+00:00

I think the key is to make it really clear what you want to do. Like don’t just lunge at her face mouth open. Make eye contact and get within about 12-18 inches of her face (while also making sure you’re not physically trapping her if she wants to bail). Then look to her lips and then back to her eyes and slowly lean in.

Alternatively, say something like, I kind of want to kiss you right now, and see how she reacts. That way you’re not exactly asking for permission like a school boy trying to use the restroom but you’re also giving her a clear window to opt out. Before you make any move.

grindforthegold · 2022-07-21T21:31:01+00:00

LMFAO has to be the worse advice i’ve ever heard

SkotchKrispie · 2022-07-21T21:38:30+00:00

I’ve never asked. Never had a problem either.

waverunnr · 2022-07-21T21:57:08+00:00

This “consent culture” is getting a little out of hand. If you’re both vibing and the body language is there, then lean in to kiss her. If she pulls away, respect her boundaries.

OrangeCloud5 · 2022-07-21T17:35:41+00:00

I've asked a girl to kiss on the first date and she went "uhhhhhh." Kissed her right there. Made out afterwords. However, we were texting before the date and had great chemistry.

My current girlfriend I had asked, but she said on the cheek on our first date.

zhantoo · 2022-07-21T19:08:51+00:00

I tell her that I want to teach her a dance move. I then ask her to place one hand on my shoulder. And to place the other hand on my other shoulder. Than ask her to close her eyes. Then aks her to open he rmouth and lean forward.

Doesn't work 10 out of 10 times.

Litenpes · 2022-07-21T18:02:19+00:00

You could, but preferably not imo. Best scenario is that you read the signals/IOIs and go for it.

gmos905 · 2022-07-21T20:25:09+00:00

There was a period of about 8 months where every date I went on, the way I'd escalate was by asking "Can I kiss you?" and then going for it. Closed a lot of deals like that.

Also if you read "Becoming" by Michelle Obama that's the exact line Barack Obama used to make his first move

sprinksreddit · 2022-07-21T20:36:56+00:00

I feel like getting consent for something as simple as a hug or kiss helps to show that you're willing to get consent later for other things.

Although just saying "can I kiss you?" I could see not showing much confidence.. but something more like "I'm really feeling some chemistry and I'd love to kiss you right now. How would you feel if I kissed you right this moment" you're being assertive about what you want, you're engaging her feelings on the matter, and you're getting that consent.

CanUnusual8729 · 2022-07-21T17:17:07+00:00

Yeah in most cases that’s gonna make it awkward and turn her off. If you’re gonna do it say it this way, “Do you want me to kiss you?” But if you do you’re gonna have to be super confident when you do it. Or my favorite is, “put my hand where you want it (;”

That’s not good general advice though. The best approach is just sit close to her. Slowly work towards light touching, legs touching, move closer to her face, etc. she will either allow it or subtly move away. That’s how you know

roakmamba · 2022-07-21T19:17:46+00:00

I think that's the lamest shit ever and never take advice from a chick because they never tell you the truth. They're trying to not hurt your feelings. Sometimes you need straight up advice with no bullshit.

KingRemu · 2022-07-21T15:12:50+00:00

If we don't kiss on a first date i'm not going going out with the female again, it's probably the only time-stamp standard i have

PlatypusGod · 2022-07-21T20:50:57+00:00

Consent is everything.

2022-07-21T18:11:13+00:00

Lmao did Blaine say this?

2022-07-21T18:23:32+00:00

i never ask I just go for it. small smooch first to feel it out then more involved if shes into it.

Mcfusion31 · 2022-07-21T19:48:32+00:00

I go when the moments there

YoungCaesar · 2022-07-21T20:04:36+00:00

I do this with some girls when I sense it’s their vibe

Nednerb5000 · 2022-07-21T20:19:28+00:00

Look at her while shes looking at you and ask her if you can kiss. Say can i kiss you? If she says no think of something fun yall can do and suggest that. This is good advice if your unsure ask.

Aliciaalt · 2022-07-21T20:26:52+00:00

Absolutely NO! Kiss me if and while you get the chance! If I like it different I’ll show you!

MacDwest · 2022-07-21T20:33:58+00:00

Consent is sexy.

innergamedude · 2022-07-21T20:35:11+00:00

For fucks' sake, hold her hand first and check out her body language. Don't charge in cold. But, yeah, telling her you want to kiss her is not going to get you friendzoned if you weren't already there.

If she's into you, "I want to kiss you", is going to be met with any manner of favorable response. If you're friendzoned, she'll just give you some awkward wishy-washy answer.

guestroom101 · 2022-07-21T20:44:18+00:00

I’ve said it before and had positive results. It’s all about timing, just make it cute or something

ICDF-Augustus · 2022-07-21T20:49:02+00:00

I (M33) was on a date that was going really well recently, when I felt it was time to kiss, and we were close, I looked at her, and did “come here” with my finger, she came right over, and we made out, then made out like 5 times that day…

brimac1234 · 2022-07-21T21:19:21+00:00

I always ask if i can kiss them, works so well

sarah420sativa · 2022-07-21T21:27:07+00:00

My boyfriend asked if he could kiss me on the first date. We’re still going strong a little over 3 years now 🙂

cadetgusv · 2022-07-21T21:38:47+00:00

Works when you work it!

BlueButAlsoRedPilled · 2022-07-21T21:41:40+00:00

Not very good at this, but ive done it twice.

I asked the first person i did it with, and that was completely fine. I think that they wanna kiss you if they wanna, no matter if you ask or not. Asking spares some awkwardness when they turn their head.

Second person and I kinda made a joke out of it. We were cuddling and we bumped our foreheads together, idk how to explain it but when you press your forehead against each other and look each other in the eyes. I blev her a kiss, and she asked "do you want a little kiss?". I said yes, looked at her, and we just did it. That's a way too for sure.

teachatthebeach · 2022-07-21T22:30:35+00:00

We were just talking about this in my poly group. The consensus among the ladies was that it is absolutely a turn-on when a man asks for consent before kissing, putting his hands on you (I think the specific example was putting his hand on the small of her back), etc. It makes you feel safe, cared about/for, and respected. It's also something that almost no men do, so if you want to not seem like just another douchebag, it's an easy way to accomplish that.

An associated thing we talked about was occasionally checking in when being intimate with a new partner. "Is this okay?" "Do you like that?" "Do you want to keep going?" It shows that you really care about her and that her comfort is important to you. I guarantee half the guys she's been with used her as a substitute for their left hand. They didn't care about how she felt about any of it. Make sure you're not one of those guys. They're awful. And usually really bad in bed.

ezraethos · 2022-07-21T23:32:37+00:00

Yeah I always ask. But that’s cause I’m a pussy. If there’s a way where you can do it without straight up asking go for that, that’s more seductive for sure but ain’t nothing wrong with just asking.

SneakPk · 2022-07-22T00:21:19+00:00

I recently got out of a 4 month platonic friendship and into FWB. I said this “I’m going to try something” then I put my hand on her cheek and pulled her in for a kiss.

OkAvocado1266 · 2022-07-22T00:35:12+00:00

Yeah, push that nervous voice in your ear that says "asking is dumb". I typically ask "hey, wanna make out? It's cool if you dont." You def should be able to pick up if the vibe is right for that question. Works 83% of the time. Step 1. Get consent, Step 2. Rinse and repeat...

toolheavy · 2022-07-22T01:18:57+00:00

My go to: “What would you do if I kissed you right now?”

after lots of flirting and buildup of course

Title	[deleted by user]
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	94
Comments	140
Date	July 21, 2022 2:05 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/w4hjq3/do_some_guys_really_ask_the_girl_if_they_can_kiss/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/deleted-by-user.1253926 https://theredarchive.com/post/1253926

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