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Whatever1234445 · 2021-10-21T13:09:23+00:00

Get in shape ! Which means hit the gym and change your diet. And learn how to dress there is a lot of inexpensive good looking brands. Also work on your social skills. It will take time but those are the basics.

ericburnham · 2021-10-21T16:04:33+00:00

There's solid advice in the comment thread, but also do read "How to be a 3% man" by Corey Wayne. It has some of the best advice out there.

Apocalypse591 · 2021-10-21T13:15:41+00:00

Honestly, I think you should focus on improving yourself and make some decent male friends first.

Most women like men with a high social status, and they would not find a man who doesn't have friends attractive.

CuppaJoe2020 · 2021-10-21T15:58:31+00:00

She looks down and away so you immediately assume she doesn’t like you. Women in our society are taught to be bashful and demur. She isn’t going to immediately jump your bones. If you are at a social event check to see if you lock eyes again. If so, approach.

https://theartofcharm.com/art-of-dating/eye-contact-attraction/

ebmnm · 2021-10-21T15:03:00+00:00

Keep in mind your vibe you give off try recording yourself asking a girl out or practicing and try to nail your vocal tonality.

TimelyInvention · 2021-10-21T17:42:25+00:00

You definitely have a chance to be successful. Just get in shape. Start researching how to look and dress more attractive. Make sure you have good hygiene and put effort into things before you walk out the door.

Radenoughyet · 2021-10-21T17:16:29+00:00

As a woman, I can say that the trick is to be really charismatic and kind, with a little bit of flirtiness. Men that love women in general, and everything about them, have success. If you’re truly interested in what they have to say (and not just pretending to be), that is the key. Taking care of your body never hurt, but that’s not the key- I’ve seen plenty of not great looking guys getting tons of attention from women because they genuinely love women- and I don’t mean love in a creepy way- I mean kind of like philanthropic love- they think women are awesome and are truly interested in getting to know them on every level.

mdreal03 · 2021-10-21T18:55:35+00:00

Good solid advice from people all-round.

Exercise is a must as people have suggested. But I have slept with girl in college being out of shape.

Remember - during college, girls want to be with someone that has higher social status than them.

Since it takes time to build that persona, and you ideally don't wanna remain virgin that long, go around this problem! So go to places where there are lots of horny/single girls around.

Easy solution! Join college clubs. Especially join the political group and the religion groups. These two groups tend to have the most girls. You don't have to necessarily be good at politics or religion. Just join the meetings and talk to girls about the things that the group agenda. This will highly reduce pressure on yourself to come up with topics and the other social stuff necessary on dates.

And since you are virgin, and lack social skills - do not go for 7,8,9,10 girls. Go for everybody else!

Build up your skills(social and in bed) with the girls on 1-6 scale. Do this for 2 semesters and trust me, you will see a lot of changes. You will start picking up cues and become more confident in talking to girls. You will start having a better social life because you are involved with so many people.

GeeseCTM · 2021-10-21T19:16:28+00:00

Dude in my 30s having virtually the same build as you - same height and weight and average looks, I was pulling 20 something ass like nobodies business. And that's not even talking about women my age or older. EVEN strippers, Fitness instructors, yoga instructors etc. If you want to get in shape do it FOR YOU. But don't fucking let these assholes tell you that women won't like you unless you "Gym Hard, bro!"

It's pure shit. I ain't the only guy I know like this either. Hell this is basic 101 back in the day when the seduction community was still filled with good information.

A classic noob example back then was:http://www.fastseduction.com/files/guide/08_related_articles/iranian.htmlby Maniac High (http://www.pickupguide.com)

Last year, I was in a Tokyo bar with one of my GFs. And, we spotted on the dance floor, the Iranian from hell. He looked like shit, was fat, ugly as sin, wore clothes that looked like it came from the salvation army, and a worn out baseball cap. Oh, and did I say he was 45 Y.O. about, and probably didn't speak ENglish, or Japanese..., and probably had a shit job taking chicken guts out of bird in a processing plant...or was an illegal who lived in a park or something. This guy was by far the most discusting basket case loser in the place that whole night. As well, in this thoroughly racist country, Iranians are at the very bottom of the barrel, below gaijins, Japanese, Asians..everything..that is as low as you go... (Japanese perspectives..not mine)..

So what did he do? He went on the dance floor, and hit on *EVERY* chick there. Most (no all actually!), blew him out instantly! but he didn't give up. He was persistant like fuck, I never saw a guy as persistant as him, he'd get knocked out and was right back in there., and as long as he got any reaction (good or bad), he kept on hitting.. And he had no wing either, this was a totally solo act..

ANd guess what! He started to get kino on a chick, who totally in his face blew him out a little earlier (he since hit on other chicks), and at first she resisted, and gave really bad looks, but he kept plugging away, and then she relented (she didn't leave), and started to dance with him, coldly at first, obviously not enjoying it. LAter they got closer, and her face relaxed, as he smiled at her and tried to charm her,, (he tried often,and she pushed back), ...and 20 minutes later, they were kissing and all over each other! Later they left together.. her hanging all over him... And the chick was an HB too, 20s, and very cute! So whenever I think I am not good looking enough (I am average), or see some model type hit on chicks that I want, and feel jealous or something I always remember the "Iranian from hell" story... and remember Its not what you look like...its what you do...Always... fortunately, for guys, looks has very little to do with the endgame, if your ugly, just get in there, and show personality. that will work the same as looking like Brad Pitt...So dont worry if you're ugly, it just doesn't matter...

--------------------------------------------

Your BIGGEST tell of where the problem lies is: " I rather focus on my hobbies and college major. After college and work I just do college homework and study, I learn languages or I learn about car repairs, that’s pretty much my life."

You can't be seductive unless you learn and practice to be seductive. Women aren't going to show up at your door, knocking at it and saying, "Hey I know you're a good guy devoted to your life's work and just don't get out enough, so I thought I would come over and have sex with you."

You gotta set time, even if it's like 2 days a week, to be a dynamic person and get out there and practice and learn. 50% GOOD material (almost impossible to find these days) and 50% practice.

It's the only way. If you listen to the Gym, Tan, Laundry crowd you're going to be the in shape guy who still doesn't get women. How do I know? I have had Students come to me back when I used to coach on a regular basis who looked like fucking Models who my average looking ass had to show how to get women.

Here's a book. You're welcome: How to Succeed with Women by Louis and Copeland

The BEST Starter you will find next to the Players Guide on fastseduction.com

throwaway28483838482 · 2021-10-21T18:27:02+00:00

Considering you’re overweight, I would just start with walking. Jump roping while being heavy is going to put a lot of stress on your joints

IntroMystique · 2021-10-21T19:04:52+00:00

Hey dude,

First thing I want to say is that you’re very young still. Don’t be too hard on yourself. People hit their strides in life at all different times.

Secondly, it sounds like you need to focus on your image a little more. You mentioned you were 235lbs, so the first thing you should do is drop some lbs to a healthier weight.

One of the best ways to kickstart this process is by looking at the food/drinks you’re consuming. If you can narrow down a lot of the “bad” foods that you’re ingesting, your weight will start to drop.

Here’s an example I gave to someone a few years back looking to cut some weight: We worked out that on average he was drinking 3 cans of soda a day. 1 can contained - I believe - 140 calories. 140 x 3 = 420. Keep in mind that this is 420 empty calories per day. What’s that for the week? 2940 calories. That’s around 12’000 calories per month of sugar - only counting what he was drinking.

So start by cutting things like this out of your lifestyle. Replace them with water — for example.

Then look at snacking. Are you snacking between meals? Any cakes, chocolate, candy, etc.?

Once you start to cut these out, your body will slowly drop the pounds. Add in some exercise and you’re in an even better position.

Every time you go against your goal of losing weight, think about how it makes you feel after. You’re stepping further and further away from your goal.

I also want you to consider other aspects of your image: Good posture, skincare, hairstyle, clothing, hygiene, teeth, etc.

These are all of the things that people are judging us on when we’re out in the world. Do your best to become a better version of yourself. Find someone that inspires you. Someone that may have a similar goal or story and attach yourself to their image for motivation - this helps me an awful lot.

From there, you will see your confidence improve. With these minor changes, you’ll feel a lot better about yourself. It’ll show in the way you walk and talk. The way you carry yourself and how you’re perceived.

larryd86 · 2021-10-21T13:53:29+00:00

You're gonna have to get in shape. No other way around it.

BoogerGuts · 2021-10-21T17:31:19+00:00

I've seen people often on this page saying you have to be fit to get chick's and thats a straight lie. Girls give zero fucks about fit dudes, they don't however want someone who is depressed and in their head all the time. Some will for sure be that shallow about physical appearance but most of the time girls want a guy who speaks with conviction about the things he believes and who confidently carries himself. I'm speaking from experience here, I'm fit and 6'0" -185 lbs. and I had a girlfriend yoinked away from me by a dude who was 350 lbs, 5'7" and looked like a human thumb. Mans looked like lord Farquad no cap. HE HAD THE SAME FKIN HAIRCUT AND A NECK BEARD BUD. He spoke smooth and with conviction though, he was there for her where I wasn't and that's all she needed.

I say all this to say: I see value in getting fit because of the positive mental health benefits and confidence it brings. But even me at my most physically fit couldn't pull a soul if I was sad or depressed, and pulling chicks doesn't make you happy forever anyways. Get some friends, work on yourself and flush out your core beliefs, and ask yourself what you really want out of life. If you start working on those people will pay attention when you speak about the things that you're passionate about and women will sleep with you, probably.

whiplash81 · 2021-10-21T14:22:37+00:00

The number one thing women are attracted to is confidence.

Identify aspects of your life that you want to feel more confident in. Does your body lower your self confidence? Hit the gym and take care of it. Would you like to feel more confident with carrying on an interesting conversation? Make some friends, and practice chatting up strangers.

Confidence comes from building upon a belief in yourself and your capabilities. If you feel that you have low confidence in anything, then practice that thing until you get good at it.

2021-10-21T16:14:39+00:00

Damn I wish I had started trying to figure it out that early 😂 But taking the time to get better was the most worthwhile shit I ever did. Also you are trying to skip so many steps by starting with seduction c’mon.

Hofmannboi · 2021-10-21T19:18:52+00:00

If you want to change your physical appearance, start hitting the gym or get a couple nice items of clothing to boost your confidence a bit.

As far as actually getting laid, don't put too much pressure or emphasis on it, just focus on making friends with girls first. For me, that takes some of the pressure off and lets me be myself, confident, funny, etc. and if the two of you vibe then you can ask them out on a date.

In my experience, girls know when all you're looking for is to fuck and most times that's a turn off, so look for a friend and go from there.

2021-10-21T21:13:47+00:00

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higherpublic · 2021-10-21T21:15:07+00:00

This is one of the paradoxes of life. The more you become somebody who works on themself, the more somebody else will work on you.

MmmNeapolitan · 2021-10-21T21:45:44+00:00

Work on yourself, first and foremost. In order from most to least important imo:

Good hygiene, good social skills, being physically fit, and dressing better in well fitting clothes.

You can improve your hygiene overnight tbh; brush your teeth often, shower at least once everyday, wear deodorant, etc.

Developing social skills will take time and a lot of practice. Talking to cashiers is an easy way to get more comfortable talking to people. They almost always initiate a conversation and you can focus on maintaining it. Easy practice.

Hitting the gym frequently and eating healthier will make you more attractive. Not only will you look better and feel better, but it sends a message that you care about yourself and dedicate time to improving yourself. Even just running or doing cardio at home is better than nothing.

Being stylish is the cherry on top. It's a great way to way to display confidence and make a good first impression. If you're thrifty, you can pick up clothes and accessories for a good price. You don't need expensive name brand stuff. However, no matter how good the colors, patterns, or accessories look when put together into an outfit, every piece of your outfit must fit properly. Do not wear big baggie clothes, or clothes that are too tight. A proper fit is by far the most important part of any good outfit. If you're worried about clothes not fitting your body type, get into better shape.

If you want someone to love you, then you need to love yourself first.

GrandRub · 2021-10-21T22:26:33+00:00

have an interesting lifestyle. dont be like everyone else. play in a band / have cool hobbies / do something creative and show it / SHOW your personality and your competence.

be interesting and other people want to spend time with you.

No-Business-3348 · 2021-10-21T22:35:25+00:00

It sounds like anyone who finds intelligence attractive would be a great fit for you.

Working out (not specifically to lose weight) does make you more attractive in American standards bonus points if you are toned- not neccessarily muscular. It does show how you are self conscious and responsible in taking care of your own health based on physical appearance.

Same thing for dressing well. Wear button ups, semi formal pants, and shoes (something about a uniform turns people on in general).

You don't need an expensive car or fancy shit. Just look like a professional and have a compatible personality. Behind closed doors you can do your hobbies and dress comfortably.

wolfbee16 · 2021-10-21T22:42:50+00:00

Getting fit is by far the easiest way to build actual confidence. Look good feel good

Radio_Unique · 2021-10-21T15:09:45+00:00

It’s with the vibe, when u really feel great about urself. If u got that vibe, women will chase

It’s inside job

Turnhate2greatness · 2021-10-21T13:19:42+00:00

You call yourself King Foreign, I understand the Foreign part because you study foreign languages but what I don’t understand and is why you call yourself King, if you don’t carry yourself like one!

Get in shape, get a good diet, go to the barbershop once a week, buy cheap nice clothes, have a good skin care routine, start hanging out with people through college events and clubs. Yes it’s hard work but it is what you have to do if you want to sleep with many girls. If you don’t want to do the hard work then go sleep with pretty escorts and hookers. I doubt you want to live that fake life.

What I do like is that you found your favorite hobbies and you are trying to get better at it daily so that’s good, but your lacking in other areas so it’s time to change!

MrMartinBean · 2021-10-21T21:36:30+00:00

Hey man. First, you need a big shift in mindset (it seems). Before worrying about talking to other people, especially women, you have to honestly tell yourself that you are good enough.

No one is going to be tricked into wanting to spend time with you (tho I know you didn’t use the word “tricked”). The good news is that you don’t have to pull the wool over anyone’s eyes here. You actually are good enough to be in anyone’s company.

You want to go to the gym? Eat healthier? Wear better clothes? Cool, do it! But you don’t need to. Do those things for yourself if they’re something YOU want to do.

But there is no body fat level you fall under where a hot girl is suddenly interested, no magic outfit. It all comes down to you accepting yourself. That isn’t in opposition to wanting to get better. We all have things we can work on. But there is nothing wrong with you that isn’t more than made up for by all the stuff that’s right about you.

MrMartinBean · 2021-10-21T21:43:49+00:00

Oh, and maybe this will help, too: remember how interesting you are.

I’m not even trying to gas you up here, but what the fuck man? You go to school, and you work…and you just randomly teach yourself auto repair and foreign languages, for fun? You’re like the goddamn Dos Equis man.

When you go up to a guy from class, or a basic girl, or a gorgeous one, you aren’t wasting any of their time. All of their lives could get a little bit better just from talking to you, because you have learned things, faced adversity, gained perspective.

I know I would be psyched to talk with you, and plenty of people will be as well if you keep giving them the chance.

krispykreme01 · 2021-10-21T19:52:49+00:00

Very simple.

Finish college women got to like the job you have.
Get in shape and get with a sick ass clique and go all out.
Be ok by yourself don’t be thirsty, women will sniff that shit out. Mediation and stoic practice really help with this.

God speed soldier.

tofutunasalad · 2021-10-21T20:31:53+00:00

babe just be you, focus on cultivating a good life energy and the right people will be drawn to you

angel-cowboy · 2021-10-21T20:49:35+00:00

You want sex that bad!? I swear… men love to say that women are’t rational but isn’t it kinda wild what men would do for a lay? No offense.. iv been really wanting to say that out loud.

davidunal · 2021-10-21T21:48:50+00:00

Make a lot of money. Solved!!

JacobMoogberg69 · 2021-10-21T13:43:23+00:00

YouTube search Johnny Soporno

MagnusRoundstone · 2021-10-21T13:08:23+00:00

Are you a jacked/ripped 235lbs or are you fluffy?

SirDr1ftw00d · 2021-10-21T15:30:22+00:00

That gesture, looking down or away, doesn't always mean what you think it does. I am married to a sexy women who clearly is into me. However, I CONSTANTLY miss(ed) signs that she was digging me or hoping for something physical because of my negative doaloige in my head. I turned a flirtatious gesture into something self-deprecating. The book "Undercover Sex Signals" really opened my eyes to my own idiocy and gave me a big self confidence in my ability to be attractive. I missed out on SO many opportunities because of self doubt and misinterpreted cues.

johnick44 · 2021-10-21T15:46:54+00:00

First things first start hitting the gym brother it’s not only gonna help you look better but it’s gonna help you gain confidence, next thing you wanna make sure you have style, if you look good you feel good, get some good colones so women like it when you approach them because you smell good, and last but not least be well groomed so get a haircut and have a nice beard trim, or just shave it off. As for social I would say your best bet is treating a girl like she is a friend you haven’t seen in a while, you know make it interesting and quick so that you look like your busy but will make time to spend with her etc…. Ohh and last but not least don’t be needy make sure you chill Im not a dating guru I don’t think I have a bunch of success with women but this is what has helped me the most when being confident and getting more dates

lookingforarelation · 2021-10-21T17:43:28+00:00

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abrahamlincorn · 2021-10-21T17:52:57+00:00

“Maybe it’s because I don’t wear nice clothes or I am overweight.”

In early college I felt the same way about myself and had some issues getting my love life to be semi normal.

To unpack that, objectively you don’t find yourself attractive for the reasons just listed. If you want women to find you attractive, do the things you think make you attractive! If you take steps to spruce up your appearance that make you feel better about your body, your mindset will change and the confidence will come naturally when you approach someone, and they’ll find you more attractive for the combination of your looks and newfound confidence. Want to dress better and get in shape? Make the small changes that are accessible to you that make you feel like you’re getting there.

It’s not superficial to admit that we first judge someone’s attractiveness by their physicality (body language, clothes, weight & height, face etc) subconsciously thanks to biology, so it’s not like everyone will instantly throw themselves all over you, but it will be a night and day difference in your ability to score good dates and even in a non romantic / sexual environment, doing things that make you feel attractive to others make you attractive to others in a platonic and professional sense.

Dimension_Clean · 2021-10-21T18:01:35+00:00

Make sure you talk to a lot of people and make sure you're having fun. It'll increase your social proof. When I'm at parties I make sure I talk to random people about random things. I might compliment a guy's shoes etc.

shady_gamer · 2021-10-21T18:57:36+00:00

So much potential. Keto diet, it is easy to follow and it is a high energy diet to support work out. As a student you've probably got a tight budget. Check out Thomas Delouer on youtube, fantastic channel. https://youtu.be/hs3OSjZg3Jo

Your clothes will start fitting better, your esteem will rise and your testosterone levels will charge up. You will be noticed.

2021-10-21T18:59:18+00:00

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PhoenixBln · 2021-10-21T19:02:37+00:00

it depends. where you're from, where you live. build an interesting life. travel much, have dreams, work on your career, on your education. try to find out which kind of girls find you more attractive and which dont. and realize that its very hard for some 20 year old males to get laid. girls like "experienced" guys. it will be much easier when you are 25+ years old. practice until then. have good freindships. build a big social circle. work on yourself, do fitness, read books, be an interesting person.

baddog992 · 2021-10-21T20:41:42+00:00

Try to make guy friends. It helps. Perhaps they need help fixing their car? Hang out with them. Resist the urge to just hang out by yourself. Other guys can hook you up with women they know. Dress for success. Dressing poorly makes you look like you don't care. Don't wear wrinkled clothes. Losing weight can be tough. I know a few fat guys that are able to get laid. Do they get get any women they want? No. However they are able to get laid. One is married currently. I'm not telling you not to lose weight. If you can great!

My other advice is try to have a friendly vibe. When you say hi to someone smile most will smile back. Ask questions from people you know or don't know. Get comfortable talking to people not just women. Share your hobbies with people. I will also let you know I was 25 when I first had sex with a women. So I was a late bloomer. I read a few books and did what they recommended.

reezy221 · 2021-10-21T20:43:04+00:00

Honestly stop approaching girls until you get in shape. It’ll be way too demoralising

rudebwoy100 · 2021-10-21T20:44:12+00:00

Get in shape.
Become more outgoing, friendly and fun.

In college your $ doesn't matter as most people are broke so just improve those 2 things and keep putting yourself out there.

Raulthinks · 2021-10-21T20:44:19+00:00

I know everyone is saying be fit. But do you know how many guys actually have abs? If you asked 10 random guys if they have abs. I’m sure all 10 will say no. So if being fit isn’t going to do it what will? Your lifestyle.

The reason it’s not happening for you right now is because your daily activities consist of things you rather do then being in bed with a girl.

When you are studying and doing homework, make sure to start doing it at a library. Where there’s girls.

If you like learning new languages, put them to work. I’m not sure where you’re from, but around here there’s actually people who have meetings or clubs that only speak a certain language for practice. They meet like once a month. So look for one, or make one.

Car repairs is more male dominant. But make sure to carry the essential in your trunk to help a damsel in distress. I help anyone. Make sure to carry, a upgraded Jack, dewalt 1/2 inch impact with sockets, battery powered jump starter, and car entries tools. This skill is essential for a man card. Pro tip, when doing repairs always have your girlfriends help with any minor task. Like holding a light or something.

All these things won’t change your life but it will definitely increase your chances while doing the things that are important to you.

The last thing is cold approaching. Cold approaches are awkward for girls. Especially if they rarely get approached. Or if the guy is fumbling his words. Pick up lines are for rookies. So keep them short and straight to the point and end with a complement no matter the outcome.

But definitely go to the gym because you enjoy it. Not because you want to sleep with girls. If you go for the wrong reasons you’ll just fall off and gain the weight back. Make sure to have a back up gym incase things go south.

dmaiii · 2021-10-21T20:50:35+00:00

There’s lots of good advice here. If you want to start your gonna have to start from the very start. This means getting in shape, learning social skills, gaining confidence. Honestly, if you want to gain confidence, go and get rejected by as many random women as possible, that’s what worked for me, I just did it online and after about a week I started getting more confident talking to women online and in person that I wasn’t getting rejected anymore

MikeAlphaGolf · 2021-10-21T21:14:01+00:00

Complaining about girls if your walking around at 235 is like complaining about scoring 40 over in golf with the wrong handed clubs and having never practiced. Your sloppy image will be one of someone who lacks discipline and energy and doesn’t value himself. You are playing life on hard mode.

RangersFan243 · 2021-10-21T21:18:31+00:00

I’m in this same situation bro

Pariente99 · 2021-10-21T21:18:57+00:00

Get in shape and take care of yourself. No amount of tricks or cold approaching will change the outcome if you dont start working on yourself first.

blahblahblah_yeayea · 2021-10-21T21:48:05+00:00

Goodness, lots of advice in here... My two cents are the following; people are attracted to happy and confident people. You don't have to lose a bunch of weight, just be comfortable with the weight you are. If you don't feel like you look good, do something about it. If you do, that is perfectly fine. If you like what you're wearing, then it's perfect. Be authentically YOU, and love who you are. Do things that make you happy and look for singles that enjoy doing those things too. Don't overthink it. Don't pretend to be someone you're not. This works, I promise.

EagerSleeper · 2021-10-21T21:56:06+00:00

Buy a food scale, learn the basic math behind Nutrition Facts serving size v. calories, and track literally everything you consume in MyFitnessPal.

Consume 1500-2000 calories per day.

If you do 1500cals per day then you'll be at a good weight of 180 in about 6-7 months. @2000cals it'll be about a year. Just aim between those two and you'll definitely be at a good weight in less than a year.

While you're doing that, start lifting weights, drinking more water, and sleeping ~7-8 hours. A simple bro-split is fine for beginners, like PPL (Push Pull Legs) focusing not on excruciating weight but on form.

Outside of diet and gym, learn to be a bit of a Yes Man when possible events/friend invitations come around. A good book to read is about authenticity is Mark Manson - Models. Also see if you can find a relatively unique hobby (making music, art, long-distance running, retro hardware, etc.)

AccidentallyInterest · 2021-10-21T22:06:23+00:00

lots of good advice here, just want to add in getting better at talking to EVERYONE not just hot women. You know those annoying customers who have to say a little something to the clerk or whatever, or make some little joke all the time? Not saying have some contrived lines ready made or whatever but whatever you're thinking at the time start just talking to people when you're out and about. Get better at that and you'll find its the same energy you need to sort of break the ice and be in a position where these people have some desire to continue speaking with you

TheRiverOfDyx · 2021-10-21T22:09:48+00:00

It’s gonna take a few positive changes. That’s the key here, positive change. Growth. I’ll address some of your points:

How to become the man women want to sleep with?

I am 20 and I am 5’10 235lbs. I am a virgin and I never kissed or hugged a girl, apart from my mom and aunt.

We’re gonna use your virgin origin story - as everyone starts somewhere - as the foundation for change here. It’s not a bad thing you’re a virgin, you’re not doing something wrong as a human being by not having had sex. In fact, from those I’ve talked to, they find it cute. It also adds a bonus ‘reward’ for being the one who took your virginity, if they’re into that. You can also find a virgin yourself and share it with each other, I did that, it was much less nerve-racking.

I find being called cute for that a little patronizing, but that might just be my own embarrassment at being called cute or complimented in general. So, rest assured, your virginity can only ever be considered GOOD. Once you’ve lost it, and you hoe around - guy or girl - you get further and further away from that not needing sex mindset as it becomes something to fill the void. It can’t be filled, the vacuum only craves.

You’re okay for being a virgin, wear it like a badge of honour. You’ve not found anyone that catches your fancy, or you’ve lacked the tools to catch the fish, and you’re in the process of finding the you that women will love - because you’re finding yourself.

When I look at girls, most just look down or look away quickly.

It’s excellent you’re already aware of some of your “rough edges”, that means you can polish them up smooth. Eye contact is a HUGE one. I used to look away in everything I did, even when I went to Taekwondo and they bash into your head “Always be making an appropriate level eye contact with people you meet. Not too little, and don’t stare unless stared at”, I would still look away. You can see it like smacking someone with a pool noodle, only you never actually smack anyone, but making eye contact ISN’T wrong, it doesn’t hurt or displease others - unless they’re bad people, or their culture is that of India and its disrespectful. Eye contact is a sign of respect in the West, you would do well to show respect to others and for yourself by not forcing yourself to look away and submit to their gaze, and instead stand proud in your ability and god given capability to look someone in the eye. Bonus points if you hold eye contact and look away first, instead of run away first.

I actually cold approached 30 girls around the college campus and all of them said they had a boyfriend or no.

Perfect, you’ve been rejected. Means you’re playing the game. The game is called Rejection: The Dating Game. If you’re playing the game, your goal is to get rejected, it means you’re learning and doing what it says on the box. You’re winning, because getting rejected isn’t the end of the world. When you eventually get a girlfriend, you simply found the golden snitch, you can still win the game by points. It’s not Harry Potter’s moment all the time, despite what the movie portrays with camera focus.

Maybe it’s because I don’t wear nice clothes or I am overweight. I am a introvert and I don’t have friends, I just have acquaintances that I speak with at work and college, but I never hang out with any of them.

“When you look good, you feel good” my grandma always says. I never believed her because I felt that even when looking good, I didn’t feel like I looked good, and thus didn’t feel good. The way to fix that is go clothing shopping, whatever your budget can afford, but try to budget for nice things that you like instead of buying cheap stuff to stay in budget. This is for your self esteem, your mental health, spending $300 on clothes gets you maybe one or two outfits you can say you actively curated, and thought out. Put some attention into your appearance instead of living the bare minimum of “random shirt, maybe some jeans, basic socks, same ol’ shoes”. Get a door or wall mirror, stand in front of it. You’re a mannequin, and you’re the one who has to dress the mannequin for the big day in the shopping mall of Life. So do your job you owe yourself, and spiffy up a bit.

I rather focus on my hobbies and college major. After college and work I just do college homework and study, I learn languages or I learn about car repairs, that’s pretty much my life.

You have some things you can talk about then. Hobbies are wonderful, and I’m an introvert too, I spend all my time in the backseat of my mind watching stuff go by because I’m too lost in thought composing music in my head. That’s something you can share, your hobbies. To add, some have suggested get in shape, and I agree. Aim to get in shape, meaning you’re able to do the things you need to do without getting tired, you get strong, then focus on aesthetic and how you look. Getting in shape you’ll start to look better already, and you build a strength base, then the REAL fun can begin. Think of this like building a Warhammer set, that’s building strength, then aesthetics training is painting the set, getting pretty, getting chiselled. You gotta turn the pillow into a block of marble first, then you can chisel out that beauty of a man i know you can be

From hearing this how can I become the guy that women will find sexually attractive?

By working on yourself, and working within yourself to become comfortable in your body. You are not your body, your body is your body. It’s like clothing, its something you can change, though with more limits to its changes than clothing. Walk around, try to feel comfortable in your skin.

I KNOW you’re going to try it, and it is going to feel SO WRONG when you do, but thats the feeling that you feel when you believe you’re not allowed to feel good. Its poison, fight that feeling. You’re allowed to feel good, you’re allowed to feel comfortable in who you are, and your skin. Every second passing you die, that old belly dies and the new belly in the present exists, and so on and so on. So, some time from now, exists a you that loves himself, is much more confident, can have conversations with people, and regulates his alone time so it is actually ALONE TIME (recharge social battery time) and not ISOLATION TIME (hide away from people, and let them be a bigger drain on me due to lack of exposure)

Stand tall, you’re not standing as douchey as you believe when you do. Stand with your shoulders back, again, you’re less douchey than you think, you’re not douchey at all. Hips forward slightly to engage your legs better and get more efficient movement, and give yourself a pat on the back for being you, for being a beautiful soul with a fantastic journey and story ahead of him. You got this Brother, I believe in you :)

nastyyyxnickkk · 2021-10-21T22:47:44+00:00

Work out. Getting in shape shows that you have self respect. Will give you more confidence. Once you start hitting the gym every day, you'll notice the regulars. Find someone who has a body you would love to have, introduce yourself, make shit up by maybe asking them how they grew their traps or some shit.

Then offer to workout with them, they will probably say yes is they are a decent human being and then get their number.

Back at school, maybe talk to some people from your class. I think your main issue here is that you may be a little socially awkward. Start hanging with some people during school hours and study together. and honestly if they seem cool be straight up and say that its so hard for you to talk to people since your more introverted. chances are, they are the same way but also dont say anything. this will grow your bond and give you more confidence.

At this point in time you will have made some new friends and also getting in shape. from here, make a tinder or bumble profile, get some pics on there that look good. remember, you are marketing yourself. Sooner or later you WILL get a match because you are sexier and your aura will give off more confidence. people can sense that shit through a PICTURE. yes, crazy right?

sooner or later you'll get the girls instagram or snapchat, flirt back in forth, make intentions clear then meetup with them. if they are cool, you be straight up and tell them that this is your first time meeting up with someone from bumble/tinder. they will probably lie and say that its their first time too, but it probably isn't lmao. Then just go from here.

you need to realize that being honest and saying out loud "listen I am being super honest right now" people should take it for what it is and accept you for who you are.

If you like this advice and it ends up working send me a direct message and let me know. not trying to be cocky but I am usually 95% right when it comes to these things. all my friends come to me for advice and I never steer them wrong. lemme know, been thinking of making a course for people who are in need of advice and help when it comes to these things. cheers brother.

edit: 25 years old

body count: 25

napndash · 2021-10-21T23:07:04+00:00

Rolling 72-hour fasts. Drop that fat, then find clothes that fit.

2021-10-21T23:28:40+00:00

Get in shape.

burncushlikewood · 2021-10-21T23:31:09+00:00

Read some game books! Look for some videos in YouTube, keep a journal on your approaches, there is a lot of content out there to help you learn. I also agree to work out and get in shape, eat healthy. Some authors to look into, vin dicarlo, and Neil Strauss, watch some videos by Richard la ruina, and rsd Todd if you can find his stuff. Those are my guys, vins material literally changed my game forever, watch some mystery method stuff, watch vh1s the pick up artist, watch some infield videos and such you'll get there bro. https://www.academia.edu/26492146/Vin_DiCarlo_The_Attraction_Code_id610645886_size This pdf is his first book which is completely free!

IamWisdom · 2021-10-21T23:46:04+00:00

you have to start by losing weight and getting in great shape. That is top priority if you aren't already really cool and relaxing to hang out with. Next comes learning how to develop a personality that is fun and cool.

mummia1173 · 2021-10-21T23:52:36+00:00

"women want to sleep with" can have a lot of meanings, if you want women to look at you and think "i want to fuck him" that aint happening unless you are very good looking wich we can assume you arent, you can aspire to become a fit and interesting person so women wont reject you instantly and after a bit maybe you can find someone interested in dating you , i consider myself good looking and even then the majority of women would probably reject me if i just approached them on campus out of the blue, thats just weird and even if it works in some cases its just a dated youtuber approach and kinda lame in my opinion. best way to know people is talking to them in a chill way, dont look desperate. show you dress well, you have interest, and most importantly show them you are empathetic

mattgk39 · 2021-10-22T00:27:31+00:00

You’re only 20 my guy so that’s the good news! I know it seems like it might be “too late” but it’s just the opposite. You have your entire life ahead of you and at least 10 years of being young. And it’s not like life ends at 30 either. Also you’re in college, you learn other languages, and you can repair cars. You’ve already got a lot going for you dude, so be proud of that and keep doing that! You just need to improve your social skills, and that’s totally okay. Plenty of people, in fact I’d even venture to say the majority of people, don’t really get good social skills until their 20’s. This is actually the perfect time to start making changes and improving your social skills!

The most important things you can do right now are: 1) Start hitting the gym. The more in shape you get the better you feel, the better you look, and the more confident you get. Also eat healthy and get enough sleep. This will make pretty much anything you attempt easier. Also you don’t need to be ripped or super fit, just in reasonably good shape.

2) Focus on improving your wardrobe and grooming. Buy clothes that fit well, not too baggy or too tight. Read a little bit about how to mix and match colors and clothing styles. Try out new haircuts, find one that works for you, and get a haircut every 1-2 months. If you have facial hair keep it nice and trimmed, at least when you know you will be seeing women in social settings (which since you’re in college is pretty much every day). Being well dressed and well groomed really makes a world of difference.

3) Focus on improving your posture if you have poor posture. Stand up straight, shoulders back. Read about how to improve your posture. Body language is huge not only in being attractive to women but in being well liked in general. A person who stands up straight and smiles comes off as more approachable, friendly, and fun than someone who slouches, frowns, and looks down all the time.

4) Go out and socialize. Join clubs. Introduce yourself to people. Learn how to make small talk. Go to house parties. Honestly you MUST put yourself out there. It’s scary and you might get your feelings hurt sometimes but it’s really worth it. Back when I was in college, if my friends and I met a cool guy who was alone at a party and was just trying to come out of his shell and put himself out there we’d definitely give him a chance. But just don’t be needy or clingy. Let friendships grow naturally. Don’t hang onto one person or group and constantly hit them up as soon as you meet them. Just take life as it comes and put yourself in a lot of different social situations so your life is always exciting and you never get hung up on one person or group. And eventually you’ll find or create a group of friends you really vibe well with. My next point will also help with this.

5) Keep focusing on your hobbies as well and do things you like. Enjoy your alone time as well. This will keep you from becoming totally dependent on other people for your happiness. It’s cliche af, but happiness really does come from within. It will also make you a more well rounded and interesting person. Big plus in making friends and being attractive to women.

6) Keep talking to women. Learn from your mistakes. Here are some of the biggest tips for flirting I have. Make and hold strong eye contact when talking to women. Don’t death glare her but you should really be looking her directly in the eyes during the majority of the time you’re talking to her. Also make it a point to feel and be calm and comfortable. Focus on speaking slowly and not letting your voice go too high up in pitch. Don’t be in a rush to say what you want to say. When you talk fast and your voice goes up a lot in pitch this comes off as lacking confidence. Women like confident men who make them feel comfortable. Also touch her (not inappropriately). Once you are comfortable you can start working in light touches on her shoulder or elbow when talking to her. There’s definitely a lot of good advice on this sub. Just take a lot of the PUA stuff with a huge grain of salt. Anything that comes off as manipulative, tricky, or “gamey” I would avoid. Women are just people.

7) Be patient. Rome wasn’t built in a day. Becoming a better person will take time. You’re not going to become Casanova and the guy everyone loves in a few months. But you can and will get there eventually. The only person you should be comparing yourself to is the person you were yesterday. If you are improving then you are on the right path.

Notice how most of these points are not really about women, but about improving yourself and your life. That’s because a large part (but not everything) that makes you attractive to women is also what makes you attractive to people in general and makes you a better person. You don’t have to be any of the things I listed, plenty of overweight not well dressed guys sleep with a lot of beautiful women. But that’s because they’re comfortable and confident. But being fit, well dressed, social, friendly, and in control of your life makes it a million times easier to be comfortable and confident when talking to and interacting with women. It also makes your life better and makes you happier on its own. So go forth on your journey of self-improvement and succeed my friend. I am excited for you! Best of luck!

Title	[deleted by user]
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	204
Comments	141
Date	October 21, 2021 12:57 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
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