Finding a boyfriend

TheTruth221 · 2022-05-18T04:04:22+00:00

play valorant and never show face

prettyyxhurts · 2022-05-18T04:05:52+00:00

Organically. Date someone after being just friends for a while so you have a grasp on their intentions. Live your life for you and fill your time with doing things that make you happy and youll attract/meet other people with similar hobbies. Get comfortable with being alone and when you stop looking for it the right person will eventually fall into your lap.

TrippyDicky42 · 2022-05-18T04:01:49+00:00

ive found that most people with real personal depth and value wont be found on social media or dating apps. Best bet is IRL

lil_we1rdo · 2022-05-18T05:52:05+00:00

thank you everyone for your responses, I appreciate it

renagadeV290 · 2022-05-18T06:16:28+00:00

It might be you. Many of the guys the that you’re mentioning that are looking for a relationship want someone with good sense of who they are. Unfortunately many young girls lack a personality or even a hobby. If you want a great guy you’re going to need to be a great girl.

Ambitious-Ice2357 · 2022-05-18T04:41:27+00:00

This is probably going to be unsettling to read, but most college guys are incapable of thinking about anything except sex. Most guys are not even going to think about a relationship until after they’ve had sex with you. I would suggest looking to volunteer for something you care about, or if you’re religious, church socials might be a good place to meet single guys, especially if you have no interest in having sex.

On-The-Mountain · 2022-05-18T07:56:59+00:00

How do you know they just want you for your body? Do you have sex with them and do they drop you afterwards? Also, what are these guys to you? Do you find them initially attractive? Do they have something in common? What are the guys like you initially wouldnt be interested in at this moment?

ChoppedBelAir · 2022-05-18T04:45:57+00:00

You're over generalizing.

If you want to find guys that you have things in common with then go places that pertain to that. Have conversations that can go deeper

Demonarke · 2022-05-18T13:56:49+00:00

Stop going for the same type of guys

omss77 · 2022-05-18T13:51:35+00:00

Mars maybe Jupiter, for real.

Skill-Additional · 2022-05-18T16:31:34+00:00

I’m sorry if this is not the answer you want. Most young men are interested in woman’s body’s and sex by default because of biology, however that said you will find someone eventually who values both your intellect and attracted to you physically.

Evol_Etah · 2022-05-18T10:43:54+00:00

Imo, this is easy.

Have a life

Most girls I've talked to. All they do as hobbies is "TV, Netflix, drawing, sleeping" or anything else generic.

Talk to other about stuff you like. Verbally say it, and you'll meet people similar. Peeps be talking about the weather and movies. Like dude. We all know and saw it. Again show you aren't generic.
Give everyone a chance, but start and verbally say you wanna be platonic friends or something. Finally after a while, if you feel like you like a guy. Ask him out.

Dapper-Conversation8 · 2022-05-18T06:29:22+00:00

Seems like you give of a "let's be fuck buddies/let's have fun" type of vibe.

From my experience, 95% of the time girls days "they want me for my bdoy" are girls who walk around half naked, going to bars, and are super touchy and horny all the time.

Before asking about others to take you seriously, ask yourself. Are you giving off vibes of wanting sor.thign real? Are you respecting your own body? And arent a walking porn ad? If you can respect yourself dont expect others to. I had girls like this in my life. Easy quick fuck if so I wish. I dont even go for these girls. I have standards.

Hope you arent this way, but 95% of the time you are.

It's like on tik tok. Look at all the girls who dance in bras and skin tight leggings / bikini , and then complain that men sexualised her and all the comments are about her body.

brianbria · 2022-05-18T05:44:37+00:00

The bulk of a relationship IS sex. If you takeout sex then essentially you are just looking for a platonic friend. So be clear, because if you want a boyfriend, you can't downplay the importance of sex in getting a boyfriend.

KriticalKarl · 2022-05-18T04:06:29+00:00

Church.

Environmental_Ear106 · 2022-05-18T11:28:40+00:00

Clubs or like events. Maybe, even the bar but the likely hood is less likely.

random-naija-guy · 2022-05-18T12:39:57+00:00

Have you considered that some of the guys may not be shallow and do value personality, but you just have an underdeveloped, boring personality?

Make sure you explore interests, ideas, and views to make yourself more deep as a person. The more interesting you are as a person, the more people are interested in you for your personality. It needs to be “the most interesting thing about you” as they say.

A lot of the time someone can be super attractive, but honestly really difficult to even converse with cause their personality is repulsive. Nobody wants to pass up on an unusually beautiful person though, so as a result, they try and get what they can out of the situation and use them for their looks. Don’t let that be you. Good luck!

Chicagoj1563 · 2022-05-18T12:46:31+00:00

You have to find a way to meet alot of new people. Things will probably progress from there, but you just need to meet and date alot to find the right person. Dating apps or college activities could work. You could also just be more social with guys in your classes. Think about talking to them right before and right after class. You have anything related to the class as conversational material.

When you meet a guy who seems like he could be worthy, make subtle gestures that you like him. This is what women always did to me. Show him a little extra attention that gives him a sign you may be interested, see if he takes the lead from there. Unfortunately, some guys are completely lost in this area, so you may have to take more initiative in moving things forward.

I can give you a bunch of game related ideas to deal with the mindsets that can help, but that would be over the top. Just know that you can adapt mindsets where if someone isn't interested you really don't care. Don't make a big deal about it. In game we call this outcome independent. Embrace the chaos of that social dance of seduction. Learn to laugh at it all. Don't look at it as rejection. Find a way to make it fun. The more fun you can make that social dance, the better. Learn to laugh at yourself and the world around you.

When you start dating, be direct about what you want. Don't scare the guy away, but if he's just looking to get laid, try to find that out. His friends and how they act could also be warning signs. But, don't be too judgemental. Its the dating game. Its not perfect, but with some effort you can find what you are looking for.

originalgainster · 2022-05-18T14:13:41+00:00

College is probably a good place to start.

harshzenith50 · 2022-05-18T14:28:39+00:00

Dating culture has made us only stick to the people we find attractive...so I think when someone is obviously there to be your significant other you cannot find depth in them in the initial meetings...so it ultimately gets down to the attraction the guy initially felt for you(as you said every guy seems to be interested in your body)

But eventually when things fade out and you get to know more about their actual self, you will fall in love with them(hopefully).

This ofcourse doesn't means that every guy has "depth" to them..some are really there for sex that time you should go with your instincts and your judgement about him from those few meetings

vibemaster222 · 2022-05-18T14:35:11+00:00

Maybe go on dating sites that are aimed towards finding relationships and committed marriages, Tinder dosent count. Obviously avoid the ones that are mostly hookups or have a bad wrap around them.

You also need to communicate your wants and boundaries early on when its made obvious that the talking is headed in a direction.

Worried_Ad8890 · 2022-05-18T14:45:15+00:00

I think you shouldn’t view guys as EITHER they care about me OR want my body. The truth is even the best guys will have a bit of both at different times.

Theyre kind of espérate things in a way. Every guy who talks to you romantically will want you for your body.

Then once you accept that then you can focus on choosing a caring guy. This type of guy mostly will not be found at a bar or online dating tho it’s possible. But don’t be surprised to just get used by guys from here.

The best type of guys are ones who you meet at jobs, from friend groups, or at academic classes/groups, or lastly from active/fitness group activities. Make sure you would be a friend with them as well and aren’t just acting based on attraction, because what keeps you together after is the fact that you can become best friends.

Yamochao · 2022-05-18T16:08:03+00:00

Where’s the best place to find a guy that’s to my ideal?

Well, what does your "ideal guy" do? Is he nerdy? Start going to board game events. Is he athletic? Play a sport. Is he well read? Go to book clubs.

If you meet somewhere that's not a bar or a party, where you can be friends first and bond over shared interests, that's when you make a real emotional connection that's not superficial.

Pro tip: if you're only talking to guys who talk to you first, it DRASTICALLY increases the chances that you're meeting men who are on the prowl. A lot of men who cold approach you have motives you're trying to avoid (take it from yours truly, I've been one). It's the quiet guys who you need to make the first, and sometimes second moves with, who will be interested in emotional connections. These are the guys who are not looking at women around them as potential takes, but as people and friends. They won't always contextualize conversation with you in a sexual way the first time, and will only do so once you get to know them.

Codename-Misfit · 2022-05-18T16:18:23+00:00

You are looking for a needle in a haystack. Keep looking. Or try the library.

power-cord · 2022-05-18T16:21:29+00:00

Go to Walmart I think what your looking for is in isle 5

LeverageSynergies · 2022-05-18T16:24:30+00:00

In general, the guys that are confident enough to approach you (out of the blue) are not the type that you're looking for.

1) Find them naturally/organically

OR
2) Go out and be proactive and hit on them

Tannerite2 · 2022-05-18T04:06:49+00:00

Meet people irl. Through hobbies or friends. And let them know you're only looking for something serious. Church can be good, but you may find guys looking for stuff even more serious than you are.

alexmaycovid · 2022-05-18T07:22:47+00:00

Do you know that a boyfriend and girlfriend usually a full complex of things that include emotions, friendship, intimacy, sex, and everything else?

PHVEDO · 2022-05-18T07:24:38+00:00

ur dreams

cxpcman · 2022-05-18T10:41:56+00:00

If the girl im talking to doesnt have an interesting conversation. It usually automatically change to fuck only relationship

ilovefootball49 · 2022-05-18T08:34:51+00:00

Probably the guys in romance novels. You can date regular men and fantasize about the perfect guys in romance novels just like guys date regular girls but fantasize about porn stars.

unappreciated69 · 2022-05-18T04:00:42+00:00

AdrianSane1004 · 2022-05-18T11:00:38+00:00

You’ll find him in 2030

WanyCaleb · 2022-05-18T13:17:11+00:00

Maybe get an older guy? College guys mostly live, breathe and think sex. Thank you and good night!

RainbowChardonnay · 2022-05-18T13:57:40+00:00

Go to r/femaledatingstrategy

❤️

Fragrant-Yoghurt-442 · 2022-05-18T14:07:42+00:00

I recommend going to the library and finding first someone who’s reading for their own pleasure and ask to sit next to him and start a conversation

191109208 · 2022-05-18T12:33:46+00:00

Try me

Bansheebot420 · 2022-05-18T14:34:15+00:00

Try talking to the quiet dude you know

maxpossimpible · 2022-05-18T13:08:52+00:00

Become fat.

probono105 · 2022-05-18T04:07:11+00:00

I think you want to find yourself a lesbian. But seriously guys at that age arent like that its biology they simmer down after 25 yrs old take up frisbee golf and try there.

incognito3107 · 2022-05-18T07:29:49+00:00

You can find him potentially everywhere, but you cannot force a true connection. You are always risking a broken heart when you are looking for relation. Keep searching until you find someone naturally compatible with you, when you both making the other a better person and your relation makes your lives exuberant. Common character, common interests, common future, lots of common experiences. Just enjoy your sexual journey.

Snakehead004 · 2022-05-18T11:48:32+00:00

Hahahah! Not this sub lol. Just try to gravitate towards genuile people and if unsure don't sleep well him too quickly. Douchebag dudes (many populate this exact subreddit) won't wait too long 😜

Sendnudes2018 · 2022-05-18T12:14:19+00:00

Do you have any hobbies or activities, you like to do

dbolsch · 2022-05-18T12:33:39+00:00

Try meeting people at places where they are trying to better themselves. Like for example, a book store/library, the gym, etc. Only if you like to go to those places. I feel you’ll find more genuine people that way and ones with similar interests.

robml · 2022-05-18T13:18:33+00:00

Depends on the country imo

RoShamBeauxyogirl · 2022-05-18T13:40:43+00:00

Just expand your pool of communities that you are around. Go out and explore and learn “guy type” activities. You will eventually meet like minded men that think like yourself, also be honest and ask them out (we guys don’t mind) guys like direct attitudes and we don’t mind being approached. Most young guys are superficial in their early 20’s so that’s gonna be a challenge… you might wanna date guys who are different from what you normally like and maybe drop some of your standards. I’d start at work, community event, gyms, low key bars…

redditor4206903 · 2022-05-18T14:02:38+00:00

Font be naive

Glad_p · 2022-05-18T14:04:43+00:00

The truth is, since sex became the deal of the day and easy to get, most people assume thats what everyone is looking for. Do what pleases you, your hobby or so, get into interactive discussion when you go out and not hey bet you cant sleep with that girl kind of talk.. The truth is when once a guy notice how smart and reserved you are(not like a old lady Spider-web), when you speak and act, that seperates you from the menu of drop-down skirt, kind of gal. basically be yourself, dont over do it.. and dont be boring, if you are do it in a never seen boring way😊😊. Be what seperate the "lets just fuck" to " yes we can have that, but i aint in a hurry"

Faux_bog · 2022-05-18T14:31:20+00:00

please explain what are your hobies, what aspects of your personality should he desire too?

Flames57 · 2022-05-18T14:37:17+00:00

if you're "only" looking for an emotional connection, good luck. What you want is a friend.

I'm not saying that "herp derp men only wana smash", I'm saying that romantic relationship normally is more than platonic. A healthy romantic relationship has everything: sexual desire, passion, friendship, support, stability, mutual help, etc. Specifically not wanting the relationship to be sexually healthy means you're just looking for emotional support and connection. I. e. a friend.

Besides all this - just be genuinely interested in what people have to say. And if you see potential in someone, ask more questions, show some care, add a bit of physical touch, flirt a bit. But if you're not interested in having a sexual inside that relationship, it will be hard to show interest.

OrangeVoxel · 2022-05-18T14:52:25+00:00

Meet people through friends, hobbies, clubs, or events. If you do things you enjoy doing, you’ll meet people similar to yourself.

Make your personality match your body. Hot body, amazing person.

intensely_human · 2022-05-18T15:02:31+00:00

You're going to have a hard time finding a guy who has depth and is also interested in an emotions-only relationship.

Sex is natural and the people who don't want sex are a much smaller pool than the people who need sex for it to be considered a relationship.

Imperator_Pyra · 2022-05-18T15:03:12+00:00

"You don't attract what you want, you attract what you are" - Wayne Dyer

player89283517 · 2022-05-18T15:05:49+00:00

Be friends with someone first I guess

Big_Antelope_8246 · 2022-05-18T15:08:49+00:00

Starbucks find someone that read a book

dragoson12 · 2022-05-18T15:18:54+00:00

The best way to find a boyfriend, that actually likes you for who you are, is to join social groups which are based on your interests. That way the person already likes something about you from the start. You may have to do the asking out in this method.

Major_Firefighter220 · 2022-05-18T15:53:06+00:00

go get bitches

Akasuki_Asahi · 2022-05-18T16:04:57+00:00

as a dude, if we don't fuck, I'm not interested.

power-cord · 2022-05-18T16:23:36+00:00

Lol just go through life. Be yourself and focus on your goals and what makes you happy. Your hobbies interests etc. And the right person will come along. I find when I'm seeking a relationship and looking. I either settle for the wrong thing or I come off too strong as If I'm trying. Let things happen naturally let the relationship find you. Be patient. Your still young. As far as dating apps I recommend hinge.

collinw2 · 2022-05-18T16:52:02+00:00

You should probably ask somewhere else. This is not a place for ‘interested only in emotional connection’ - it’s called r/seduction.

bluedrygrass · 2022-05-18T19:28:35+00:00

You sound very shallow and self centered. Maybe the problem is you.

Title	Finding a boyfriend
Author	lil_we1rdo
Upvotes	87
Comments	110
Date	May 18, 2022 3:59 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/us49iy/finding_a_boyfriend/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/finding-a-boyfriend.1259342 https://theredarchive.com/post/1259342

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