I Deleted Tinder and Bumble.

notmypinnumber1234 · 2019-04-10T15:00:40+00:00

[permanently deleted]

lumberjack233 · 2019-04-10T15:42:21+00:00

The sleeping with the girls and not keeping in touch part is saddening. If it's enjoyable to both parties I don't understand why it can't happen repeatedly.

broteinbowder · 2019-04-10T16:14:15+00:00

Damn man what's going on?

However, thinking of it positively, to fuck 3 girls a year actually isn't even bad, considering a lot of people don't even get close to that.

nasty_nater · 2019-04-10T13:33:43+00:00

I'm thinking of doing the same. My results are almost exactly like yours; matched with tons, few dates, few lays, however I still keep in contact with one girl but I don't see it going anywhere. I'm honestly done with online dating. I've been doing the Tinder/Bumble/Hinge thing off and on for years now and it just feels shallow and depressing. My last *real* relationship was with a girl I met at the club, so it seems pointless anyways.

What are your plans for meeting girls in person? Are you joining clubs, just going out and approaching in public places?

little_asian_man_89 · 2019-04-10T11:24:20+00:00

Best of luck. Keep us updated of how it goes.

MauPow · 2019-04-10T15:46:18+00:00

Try swiping for days and weeks and getting zero matches.

I don't get it, what's wrong with me

03Cobra · 2019-04-10T15:56:44+00:00

No offense here at all man, because we are all here to learn and better our selves... but things popped into my mind reading this.

You have no problem getting matches so you must be good looking/ interesting in photos.
You must be horrible at engaging conversations and not seeming needy. Since you banged 3 out of the hundreds of matches, and have not talked to any of the 3 since....you must be awful at sex.

These are just my observations, take it with a grain of salt

SouthernOhioRedsFan · 2019-04-10T17:46:55+00:00

Online dating is shit for men.

callsign-warrior1 · 2019-04-10T15:54:29+00:00

OP, I did the same in january and it's given me more focus, done wonders for my self esteem is rising, and self confidence is at all time high.

Caimthehero · 2019-04-10T16:41:52+00:00

Ok bud you don't seem to realize that dating apps are HEAVILY skewed towards women for power dynamics. Guys swipe right on pretty much every girl average or above. Look at the standard deviation for male swipes and it is in a standard bell curve. This resembles the normal population of most women being average looking and the farther away from average the less people there are.

Women on the other hand are far more selective because they get so many matches with guys they can afford to be choosy. In most social circles it's the guys that initiate but in dating apps this line is blurred because there are so many guys initiating that it is a standard view for most women that if she is a 7 or above she will get a right swipe out of 99% of men. This is why the girl standard deviation on swipes looks more like a cliff where most men stack in between worthless and average.

So what does this mean for your situation? If you fuck up, or seem to, one time over a dating app you can be thrown out. In person you generally have more control but with apps its all in her court on the interpretations of what you say. So with all the advantages women have in todays dating world 2% actually isn't bad.

And yes you are at 2 percent not .5 you cannot count the girls you have not sent a message to so that's 300. You also got the ball on the court 6 times and that should be considered the real success rate given how often flaking and ghosting occurs. Ya did good kid. Also on laid success rates ask any PUA and their success are usually lower than 33% and mostly in single digits but if you approach 10 girls in a night boom that's a success

penisinthepeanutbttr · 2019-04-10T16:20:28+00:00

Also, call it a tin-foil hat theory. But a lot of times I feel like people forget that Bumble, Tinder, Hinge etc. are in the interest of making money as they are businesses. Whether that's through advertising revenue based on user engagement or monthly subscriptions...

The last thing they want is for you to USE their app LESS.

I've had slightly more success compared to OP but its still not good. I wouldn't be surprised to find they have some shady algorithm process to keep you from actually meeting someone, like maybe sometimes their messages don't reach you or you're unmatched from them without you noticing. We already know they make sure you grab your attention when you first open the app by showing nothing but the MOST swiped profiles FIRST, then the ones you've matched with, then the rest, so why wouldn't they? Idk, maybe I'm full of shit..

Dallas_Stars_Fan · 2019-04-10T15:51:46+00:00

I'm an older guy (28) and I have never joined a dating site because I felt it would be a crutch and knowing myself well, I would be under the impression that I was "still taking action" when I'm sitting on my couch in my comfort zone. It also didn't work for my single guy friends, and my online presence is shitty (no good photos, profile, etc.) So I could either go and take better photos, research how to get the best profile for clicks or whatever bullshit, OR I could go out and put my nuts on the table and talk to girls in real life . I would be asked all the time (when I was single... I am no longer) "have you tried online? I know it's not your style but it's how people meet now..." It is simply one way of meeting people and it's also a pretty shitty one too. If you're looking to strictly fuck, then obviously it's great, but I personally never wanted to be the couple that met online. Long story short, I don't think dating apps help people grow and become more seductive. Not having these apps forces you outside your comfort zone and when you get really really, really sick of being alone and not having someone you'll be willing to do a lot more ballsy approaches when you have no backup plan

lucienreichert · 2019-04-10T15:10:09+00:00

I'm on the train with you, brother. Same kinda deal. I have no shortage of matches. Just feels so fucking empty on those things and desperate. Half the time I lose interest or I'm sure they do and I know if we met in person it would be so much better. I'm not hating on anyone that can make it work though...

Example: went out with a girl the other night and she said she almost didn't come but she's glad she did because I was "nothing like I seemed on hinge" so maybe I just suck at it

roboito07 · 2019-04-10T16:54:11+00:00

My man. Ever since I deleted those apps I've been way more successful with women. Not considering only hook-ups but just relationships with women in general. These apps objectify women and not having them forces you to actually get to know them. I think that is what most attractive in developing a relationship with someone whether it be a friend or new lover. Get out there and experience the people around you!

Venusian_Artist · 2019-04-10T19:47:38+00:00

Online dating is mainly for validation and attention for women, they get off of that than the actual date & sex.

MBSCinsight · 2019-04-10T16:23:49+00:00

Congrats. You're waking up!

SyrusDrake · 2019-04-10T16:26:29+00:00

Now if I was out and about and I approached 600 girls face-to-face, my success rate would be absolutely ridiculous in comparison.

Would it?

stanigator · 2019-04-10T16:38:14+00:00

But how do you know if your targets face-to-face is single though? Did you just straight up ask them after you've built up some rapport? Logically, online dating may be more fruitful in terms of finding single people, but of course they could be lying there too.

friedcajun · 2019-04-10T19:46:09+00:00

It’s pretty simple. Those sites are in the interest of making money and keeping you on the site for as long as possible. Also, it’s common knowledge that they are hookup sites and the percentage of meaningful relationships starting on these sites has got to be terribly low compared to all the subreddits about this very thing I’ve seen in the past few months.

That being said, my experience with those sites is limited. I was in a long-term relationship for a few years and never really got on the “boat” when it was the popular thing to do. I recently tried them for the first time and I’d have to say that it was one of the most depressing things I’ve ever done. Half the time women on there wanted to know how tall I was over what I did for a living or if I had my shit together. I definitely saw a huge difference between “I’m 6’2” and “Why does that matter?”.

If you want advice; talk to women in the real world. You’re success rate will either increase or you will be right where you are right now, so what’s the loss? It’s pretty simple when you think about it. Don’t be creepy, don’t be needy, give her space, and if she’s interested she will come to you. Women that aren’t worth you’re time will ignore you. Women that are worth you’re time will be interested. Basically the more you seem uninterested the more interested she will be because she’s not getting your attention the way she wants. She doesn’t need to know you would absolutely jump on the opportunity to go on a date right away, just make it seem like you’re life is more important (it 100% is btw). Also, don’t make plans with her until there’s something between the two of you, invite her to places you are already planning on going to. You don’t want to invest immediate time with someone that won’t be around in the future. You’re gonna fail some so be aware of that, but your success rate WILL increase you just have to be willing to TALK to them.

BravoPUA · 2019-04-10T21:16:14+00:00

First rule of online dating. Don’t let it be a replacement for real life

2nd. I only swipe in morning, at night (about 10 mins). On the can. I only respond back to messages during rest of the day. That way I don’t spend too much time on.

3rd. Pics. Pics have to be solid. Have to DHV you. If you don’t have DHV pics, get them.

sizeablekarp · 2019-04-10T21:41:47+00:00

I think that something important to keep in mind is that a lot of women just use Tinder as an ego boost. There will be loads of chicks who just like to get matches, or jump into it and realise they're not really into this way of meeting guys and the "stigma" that comes with it. It's fine and not really much of a reflection on you as you think. Or, you could just have really bad luck and be matching w girls who don't have the same intentions as you

recyclablebanthas · 2019-04-11T01:44:19+00:00

1

I Deleted Tinder and Bumble.

Good! These apps are really only appropriate as supplementary things to go with in-person things you're doing.

And yet I often see FAR too many people posting about Tinder on this sub as if they're working on game by sitting at home swiping at their phones. And when it fails for them, they're often responding as if they've tried everything when really they've done hardly a thing.

2

....over the past 12 months......I've gone on 6 dates and out of those 6 dates I've slept with only 3 of those girls. I also have had 0 contact with any of the girls I slept with since we've slept together, and I genuinely enjoyed hanging out with all of them.

For perspective, through cold approaching, social game, or a combination of the two, you could end up with far more action. Enough that, even if you were chill about it, you could have 1 date a week. Hell, even if we were talking really low action, like 1 date every 2 weeks, that's 26 dates in 12 months. Way more than you had in the last year.

Also, with the inclusion of social game stuff, you can be screening girls in low pressure situations, at relatively low cost. And you get the basic experience of a date where you feel each other out, only if it gets awkward, you have other people to pivot to. And if it goes well, you can pivot out of the event together. ;)

3

Meaning that out of the 600 matches, I have a total success rate of 0.5%

It has damaged my confidence and made me feel like I'm useless.

Which you seem to realize is ridiculous, this idea that you should rate yourself socially, on how an app worked or failed to work.

4

Now if I was out and about and I approached 600 girls face-to-face, my success rate would be absolutely ridiculous in comparison.

The thing that strikes me is that you did really well on those girls you actually got to the date with. Which indicates to me that you have some assets in the form of decent social skills once you have a person in front of you.

5

So over the next 12 months I'm going to go Tinder and Bumble free and see what the comparison looks like.

Look, you and I know you can do WAY better than bullshit like these apps. The point is NEVER that these apps should be your main method of meeting people. There are FAR better ways. Here's what two great ways look like:

a.) Relate to people as you go about your day: Use observation skills to look at basic things in the environment and people around you, to get easy information you can use to open people and hold conversation.
- Look at emotions: what expressions are on people's face. Maybe someone looks happy about the food they're eating, etc.
- What are people doing?
b.) Hit some social events/groups. There are tons of groups of people that get together for the express purpose of meeting new people.
- Hash runs: Trail running + beer + fit people = win
- Couchsurfing meets: The basic idea around these meets is: Hang with travelers and people who like to be around travelers. There are a lot of informal couchsurfing groups and some paid membership websites (like this one). But if you find couchsurfing groups on FB, it's free.
- Social partner dancing: Salsa, Lindy Hop, West Coast Swing, Argentine Tango, just to name a few. You really can't go wrong. Learn something fun and have an excuse to be close to a girl in a fun and non-threatening way. (Just respect it as an activity & means to meet new people and work on self-improvement first, and place to meet women second.)
- Download the Meet-up app. Scan for groups near you that you share an interest with.
- Do a Facebook search for your city/town/area. Look under the Groups and Events tabs. Or you might search your city + some activity you're specifically interested in.

MicDrop2017 · 2019-04-11T03:05:57+00:00

I've concluded that every single girl on the Internet (Tinder, Bumble, Ok Stupid) including both xhamster and pornhub--whatever the hell that is---are computer generated images. I mean what are the odds that some girl named Adriana Lima is not only hot a Brazillian lingerie model, but thinks that The Empire Strikes Back and Top Gun were the greatest movies ever made, and that her favorite Doctor is Tom Baker? I mean, has anyone ever seen these girls in real life? I mean they are the exactly same thing that I believe (Tom Baker rocks, screw David Tennant) and BAM...It's been 3 years, and I am still waiting for her to write me back...

InOurMomsButts420 · 2019-04-11T04:07:24+00:00

I will let you know when I’ll be joining you in deleting them if that’s cool.

digitalhomad · 2019-04-12T03:52:42+00:00

I got a lot to say about Tinder.

First Tinder success is depends a lot on your market and who you are. You cannot change your market and there are a lot of things you cannot change about your self. If you are a short Indian guy in North Dakota, yah, Tinder is gonna suck. You really need to be objective when using Tinder. How successful am I going to be in this market? Be honest.

Second, there is no feed back loop with Tinder. Even if you match on 300 people yet go on 3 dates, you have no idea why those 297 people did not go on a date with you. Did they find someone better, was your, 'hey how r u?' response boring, did their ex bf coming back into their life, did their grand mother die, are the having a stressful day at work, was some asshole being a dick and calling them a slut on tinder, you have no idea.

Third, you need to unit test. Tinder is not this shameful app you hide away on your phone and use only when no one is looking. You need to update your photos, constantly change the way you interact with people, ask your friends, both male and female for advice / suggestions. How's my photos look? What do you think if this response? Am I being too creepy?

Fourth, if you pin your hopes, dreams, and emotional well being on tinder, youre not going to have a good time. Women can smell desperation. If you keep getting frustrated from lack of hits on the app, it will show. If you base your self esteem on how well you do on Tinder, yah, you wont be in a good place.

I like Tinder. I think it is fun. It is a great way to meet new people outside my social circles and interact / meet people I wouldnt normally cross.

darksidessj25 · 2019-04-10T16:23:07+00:00

So your confidence is damaged cause you got 600 matches? Try getting only 5-10 matches and all from fatties and fakes. That damages your confidence. Some of them are going to be receptive to you and some are not. Don't waste your time with the non-receptive ones. I did a warm approach on Sunday and didn't get rejected. She was flirting back and investing. If I were to approach all the women that give me IOIs I would be able to have sex with about 30 women a month. These women know the game and they won't waste their time on a guy that can't approach or flirt in general. You can pull in 30 minutes if you know how to fucking do it. I believe in you OP change your life and stay the fuck off Tinder and Bumble.

Approach within 5 feet. Once you make eye contact with a girl use a situational opener and talk about the environment. Then you can switch topics. Build comfort and value. Comfort is telling stories, giving emotions, etc. Then value is like I work at blah blah and my hobbies are blah blah. I get fucking 9s eyeing me OP. I eye fuck them right back to. Don't take rejection personal either cause you'll know when you're being rejected. The chick won't even look at you.

Jacob_961 · 2019-04-10T16:36:07+00:00

Be ready to fail more in cold approach. In Tinder the girl is already attracted to you. In cold approaches, that is not the case. 200 approaches I’ve done in the past 3 months, like 10 numbers, 1 date, 0 lays. At least 50% of sets are quick rejections. But skill improved greatly over time. Tinder is wayyyyy easier to get laid from and I get significantly less matches than you. Average is 1 easy lay per 2 months. I don’t put effort in Tinder and I’m not very active either. I invite the girl over to my place for drinks, if she comes over, great. Otherwise, next.

latinhillbilly · 2019-04-10T12:08:04+00:00

I'm with you, even in the last 12 months it's gone way downhill. Funny thing is all the wimmin say it's rubbish too. I wonder if they are telling the truth or really just banging a different guy every week lol

diiianaaa · 2019-04-10T17:25:35+00:00

" I've gone on 6 dates and out of those 6 dates I've slept with only 3 of those girls "

hmmmm

Green_Guitar · 2019-04-10T16:50:38+00:00

Ive 50 matches , I'd say I've only been chatting with 15/20 , but I'm seeing one girl I've met off it. Tinder is very hit and miss I think. I think the country that I'm in ( Ireland ) has a factor too. Irish girls are a different kind of woman. But I love them !

lostkarma · 2019-04-10T17:16:07+00:00

Smart Move! My recommendation is that you use the additional time that you would have spend swiping or having low success conversation in a productive way. Like building your skills or getting your business done completed faster so you can have those face to face conversations.

PolesWithGoals · 2019-04-10T17:47:35+00:00

Those apps are garbage anyway. Good choice

zincSF · 2019-04-10T17:55:30+00:00

600 opens for a top quality player, assuming you are opening women 2 pts higher than yourself, is demonstrated to result in sex roughly 18 times. It runs about 3% of all opens. It's work and there's no secret sauce that suddenly causes one out of five women to jump in bed with you. That's not the real world.

As a newbie player, you can expect far worse performance than this for your first 600 opens, unless you have some very strong other value attributes (rich? particularly tall? particularly handsome?). If not...

I'd guess on your first 600 you end up having sex with...6. The exact same as through tindr. Over time you should be able to raise that number, if you have lower standards, you should be able to raise it too.

Best of luck, love to hear what's up after your first 100 opens...

mindoverdick · 2019-04-10T18:26:11+00:00

my dude!!!!!! im on the exact same train

BlackPyro · 2019-04-10T20:22:18+00:00

If I may add in my input, you're doing something wrong if you're not getting dates. What are your texts like?

kevinkemple · 2019-04-10T21:38:49+00:00

im in this same boat. i get a lot of matches but suck absolute dick when it comes to texting

reaprofsouls · 2019-04-10T21:51:46+00:00

I think it is a good to find ways to motivate yourself to get out there and find good matches. Maybe app game isn't your thing. It is highly effective if you are attractive, can quickly create interest or are good at portraying value.

I don't go out super often since I work two jobs so apps tend to be the most convenient for me. Within two weeks of firing up apps I usually have 3-4 dates a week and close with 75% percent. Within a month, I've locked down a good FWB (sometimes multiples) and/or found someone I really enjoy.

Alex123_UK · 2019-04-10T21:54:47+00:00

600 matches, 300 conversations, & 6 dates. Text game needed!

WhiteIpadworks · 2019-04-10T22:26:08+00:00

dude_reddit_sucks · 2019-04-10T22:26:51+00:00

fuck online dating lol

irl chads ftw

KindnessWins · 2019-04-10T22:46:40+00:00

U guys are too stubborn to listen. STRIP CLUB.
1.Women are ULTRA HOT.
2.They LOVE men who are direct, sexual and don't beat around the Bush.
3. They give you their number AFTER you have sex with them. 4. They're hornier than you and LOVE mmf and ffm threesomes

tgertcher · 2019-04-10T23:23:03+00:00

Obligatory, "this is your fault bro, lower your standards, put more effort in, be funny, learn game, try setting your range to 80+ and stop being shallow"

passionlessDrone · 2019-04-11T00:59:48+00:00

How in the fuck do you get 600 matches? That's amazing.

huntdog49 · 2019-04-11T02:19:49+00:00

Pegasus bar was Pittsburgh's premier gay,dance club.I met Paul,and his big titie wife,Chole,there.I pulled a motel weekend with a dude,and two of his friends,in a motel near the official airport. I was with Taggged.Met this guy,and his daughter.We did it in a public park,North Park.If you not,that's where you go.I get more phone numbers on a bus then through most dating sites.

bhonbeg · 2019-04-11T03:35:15+00:00

real life > online
even if you have social anxiety the numbers are just much better

i get way better responses in person then online

iamdrew314 · 2019-04-22T15:41:11+00:00

I don't know about anyone else but 600 matches for a man is a lot. Maybe it's the city. You must be in a huge city because your matches are in comparison to females.

swimgpstether · 2019-04-27T15:17:14+00:00

Back when I was better looking, I had 1000 total matches but only 2 dates, one being a catfish

Now I only got one match in a month of swiping right on everyone

bitcoino9 · 2019-04-10T22:06:42+00:00

wow dude

you got laid 3 times and your still complaining

Unclejimbo2 · 2019-04-10T16:09:39+00:00

How many of those 300 messages were just you saying "hey" or some variant?

BeforeTheStormz · 2019-04-10T15:21:54+00:00

How are you so bad at it

Like I used to get 3 matches a month and take all three out

thepuagrinch · 2019-04-10T18:45:06+00:00

Congrats. But don’t post till you’ve approached.

shekhar_kotekar · 2019-04-10T22:23:20+00:00

But how will you meet girls face to face? We can’t just start conversation with every girl we meet. Isn’t it?

Title	I Deleted Tinder and Bumble.
Author	KingPyot
Upvotes	353
Comments	199
Date	April 10, 2019 9:39 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/bbk20z/i_deleted_tinder_and_bumble/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/i-deleted-tinder-and-bumble.1466165 https://theredarchive.com/post/1466165

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