Some guys just have it

seduction-ModTeam · 2025-07-11T03:58:30+00:00

This post/comment has been removed because it violates Rule #5: The topic is too broad, has been covered a lot already, or involves the assumption overly limited by race, age, physical limitations/appearance, and/or other inborn external qualities.

Put in some reading & work before asking questions that have been addressed, like: * How do I approach? * How do I get a number? * How do I talk to girls at college? * How/When do I kiss a girl? * Does this really work?

As for the last one, it is an answered question. There have been many posts on physical limitations over the years, including this one. No need to re-ask it.

Sure_Ad281 · 2025-07-10T21:54:33+00:00

39 days ago u had a wife according to your post history?

Substantial-Bad-4508 · 2025-07-10T21:08:56+00:00

Ask yourself if you come across as needy. It's very energy draining and makes people flee from you.

Vox_Dissidens · 2025-07-10T22:37:24+00:00

I was deep into theory through most of my 20’s, listening to heaps of talks and books and analysing infields, going out every week to practise, making money, working out, etc. I got middling results.

When I turned 30, something in me clicked and I dropped most of the “game” side of game. I just did what felt natural, whether it was good game or not. I completely let go of outcome dependence and even let interactions tank on purpose if it felt there wasn’t natural chemistry.

I became very clear about what I wanted. I got a bit fat because I focused more on my work and hobbies than gym and diet. I lost some of my friends because I stopped going out to places I didn’t like just to be social. I also ruled out a shitload of potential connections with women based on ideological or personality differences that I would have once tried to power through.

The result was that I spent the first six months of my 30’s dating 2-4 different girls every week, slept with about a third of them, then met the girl of my dreams and married her.

I’m 100% a believer that learning game and social skills is only half the battle. Most of it is mindset, being a fully focused man who knows exactly who he wants to be and isn’t attached to external outcomes.

klippklar · 2025-07-10T22:25:32+00:00

Women can smell desperation like blood in the water. They want what others want, so you have to be someone others want. But that only works when you’re not trying. It’s a paradox. The only way out is to let go.

GameDevWannabe81 · 2025-07-10T21:04:23+00:00

What are you doing once you approach, how do you lead the interaction. Or are you just an "Approach Artist"

Rama_Karma_22 · 2025-07-10T21:59:28+00:00

Do you love yourself? Humans don’t need sex to survive. If having sex is really the problem, lower your standards and I’m sure you will find sex. It’s nice but without it you won’t die. So take sex out of it, why do you need anyone else’s opinion of you to validate yourself? Do you. Be your true self. Pick up a hobby. Find God. If you drink, stop that too it’s just bad. Stop comparing yourself to others because it’s fools folly. Our world is a projection of our desires, change your desires, change your world. Just like finding your keys, once you stop looking for them they soon appear. No game, IS GAME.

nongo · 2025-07-10T21:28:58+00:00

What do girls say when you say you’re a pilot?

J1mmy_white · 2025-07-10T21:10:58+00:00

What about your female coworkers? How did you do with them?

VisionsOfVisions · 2025-07-10T21:25:24+00:00

I have confidence and zero fear of rejection and constantly approach women in malls and bars in different countries

So, how do these interactions turn out? Are you getting their digits and setting up the next meetup? With your self description, I would say that you have the potential to be living the playboy life if you adjust a couple things here and there.

MeatMarket92 · 2025-07-10T21:37:35+00:00

Do you know how to have fun for the sake of it? Or are you approaching every interaction with the intention of getting laid.

unfortunately_real · 2025-07-10T22:01:48+00:00

How much thought are you putting into logistics though? Is there even an opportunity for a woman to sleep with you while maintaining plausible deniability in the settings you’re approaching them?

I moved cities multiple times and it sometimes took me months to figure out a perfect first date that leads to sex smoothly, which I could then repeat with new girls over and over again.

Always being in an unfamiliar city I could def see how that might be challenging.

ghrinz · 2025-07-10T22:08:18+00:00

You think too much. Relax and breathe while in sets. Then start to listen while breathing. You’re trying to know the women and not fuck they right then and there. drop the mission thought process.

boulddenwyldde · 2025-07-10T22:11:40+00:00

Watch The Tao of Steve w Donal Logue, brilliant discourse on game.

ThemasterofZ · 2025-07-10T22:13:10+00:00

Just from the way you speak I can see that youre insecure about yourself. All those things will not guarantee you will get laid. Its not transactional. You have to give up on the expectation or thought that you deserve it. Just go out there and have fun

ClickyCrisp19 · 2025-07-10T22:46:09+00:00

brutal heightpill

According-Resolve605 · 2025-07-10T22:48:10+00:00

What did you do to "keep friends"?

Living_Promotion9714 · 2025-07-10T22:52:50+00:00

You need to improve your looks. Don't let people gaslight you by saying your game sucks. Anyone who says looks don't matter is trying to scam you.

m0rb33d · 2025-07-10T22:58:36+00:00

Its probably one of these then:

You are too needy
You are too boring
Girls dont respect you
Girls dont feel comfortable around you
You are too clowny (smile and laugh too much, trying to amuse women etc)

Not sure what else could it be given the things you mentioned

Loud_Contract_689 · 2025-07-11T00:08:00+00:00

Women fall in love slowly over time. You don't just meet a woman on the street and have sex the same day unless she's crazy.

UnidentifiedTomato · 2025-07-10T21:25:49+00:00

You're too focused on it. Stay taking care of yourself but stop reading these things. Pick up a book that might actually interest you then pick up another when you're done. Satiate your curiousity about stuff in life. Then when you get a chance (as opposed to engineering a chance) you have shit to say. Be open and easy going. A joke about you should be just as funny as a joke about anyone else. If you're too intense in one way or another you'll show it. Just go for a good time and people will show up.

UnkemptGoose339 · 2025-07-10T21:33:25+00:00

Well we need details at this point because you're fucking something up. Probably women are shit testing you and you're just not catching it. Most men are in a logical headspace and not in a free flowing "let's let loose and have fun" head space when girls shit test them, and they fail without even realizing it. You fail the shit test, girl gets turned off even though she was once turned on and friend zones you or ghosts you. You're either failing shit tests left and right or you're showing 0 intent. Have a look at Todd V for general advice for game and apply it to going out.

Also, you seem to have a defeatist attitude here like you couldn't possibly do any better and you're screwed. Don't give up, obviously what you're doing isn't working but you can fix it.

We need details of interactions because you're obviously an attractive guy. How much do you sleep? Do you go to the gym? What's your diet look like? You could have low T with your shitty airline schedule causing chronic sleep deprivation.

Also need details - how many girls are you approaching? How often? When's the last time you actually got laid? What did that look like? I (We) can help a lot but we need to know these things to point you in the right direction.

Accomplished_Loss922 · 2025-07-10T21:18:29+00:00

The guys that “have it” weren’t born with it. Nobody is a natural. Some men are given the socialization, validation and practice throughout their early years so they have an advantage over those that didn’t get that but make no mistake, they had to learn as well.

Revolutionary_Ad5209 · 2025-07-10T21:47:13+00:00

Ever heard of karma farming anyone?

canyoujustfknrelax · 2025-07-10T21:32:59+00:00

could just be the way you went about this post but imo it’s your mindset. you’re reading books about how to be a pick up artist. also the way you speak on your qualities. “i am x, y and z, why do i get no dates” it’s almost coming off like you are altering things about yourself and not being genuine all in the name of being a better pick up artist. whatever that means.

this is like the idea, if you fixate on money, you’ll never be rich, but if you fixate on the skills that generate money, you’ll have more dollars than you’ll know what to do with.

fixate less on getting dates, you’ve linked some degree of value to getting dates that isn’t helping you becuase the longer you don’t get dates you feel like shit, hence why you posted this. what are your hobbies? are your only hobbies working out and dieting to get dates? or reading books about how to pick up chicks? again maybe it’s how you worded it but all of those things, and anything you do, should be because you enjoy it. and when you do things just to be more attractive, it’s really obvious.

if i was talking to a girl and her “hobbies” all had some end goal of getting laid more, i wouldnt want to date her. and back up a few steps, that woman, when i wouldve met her, i wouldve known from the get-go that she was kinda self centered and had only self serving intentions.

Ok_Investigator7568 · 2025-07-10T21:40:38+00:00

Bro. I didnt have it and batted out for so many many many many dates. I took what worked from each date in each scenario and applied it to a new date and it eventually all clicked in a few months. Looks didnt change. You can do it too.

Rhino3750ss · 2025-07-10T22:25:49+00:00

The thing that some guys have that others don't is knowledge that shows in their energy.

Many of our fathers and grandfathers taught us that the man courts the woman. From their point of view, this was true.

Truth is that the man courting the woman is a white, upper middle class tradition and is not the natural way of things. Our previous generations didn't know better because tradition was all they knew.

The natural way of things is that the woman chooses a competent hunter gatherer to ensure survival. If the man is courting, the woman is going to wonder why she is more important than the hunt.

Women are the choosers, not you. To be chosen you have to meet all their criteria...which makes men the prize in any type of relationship. Read the room and only deal with the women who choose you. All you have to do after that is not turn them off by behaving like she is more important than your purpose.

Life-Income2986 · 2025-07-10T22:35:59+00:00

I don't believe you have friends. Your post is about nothing but self pity. I can't imagine a single person on earth wanting to be around that and I think not wanting to be around you is normal.

'Do you know any single guys?'

[Thinks about the jacked airline pilot who everyone likes] 'No, no-one comes to mind because I'm an evil woman and we think like this.'

mix3456 · 2025-07-10T22:45:17+00:00

You can have all of those but you need to cause a reaction. You need to have game….

epimpstyle · 2025-07-10T22:57:11+00:00

Hard to believe as long as you said "constantly approach women in malls and bars in different countries". Even mathematically speaking and say you have 1% chances of success, this means 1 of 100 and you said you constatly approach women, I guess you already passed 100 approaches and nothing???? Hard to believe.

Last year, at 46, I approached about 50 women half my age in a whole year. Even so, 'magic happened' 4 times...

Apprehensive-Cause24 · 2025-07-10T23:10:59+00:00

Move from abundance. Outcome detachment is so key

Rocko210 · 2025-07-10T23:18:56+00:00

None of that matters if you’re not tall and/or you don’t live in a location with a huge dating pool.

wokenones · 2025-07-10T23:30:19+00:00

How much money? It matters since you’re 5’8

Apprehensive_Tip92 · 2025-07-10T23:46:13+00:00

If you’ve read that book, then you don’t have it.

DrinksAreOnTheHouse · 2025-07-11T00:01:08+00:00

You can have it too

flirtybirdy · 2025-07-11T00:05:13+00:00

Shrug, I personally wouldn't want to date a pilot. I'd probably catch whatever diseases people are carrying around an airport and the hours are probably weird.

LimbBisquet · 2025-07-11T00:58:28+00:00

Nigga you a pilot and can’t get laid? Lololol

creamyturtle · 2025-07-11T01:00:14+00:00

bro you're 5 foot 8

MeatMarket92 · 2025-07-11T01:35:31+00:00

Too much outcome dependance. Y’all need to get out of your heads and just have fun with going out. The vibe comes first. Dance a bit, make some friends on the patio, entertain yourself first and then you’ll entertain people.

ivoryfaker · 2025-07-11T01:44:57+00:00

A shocking amount of ladies would never consider a married man.

Dry-Atmosphere3169 · 2025-07-11T01:49:23+00:00

Let go of sex. Focus on attraction. When you no longer need it, and you are ATTRACTIVE, they will almost rape you (seriously). Every time I have gone celibate, it's like women can smell it and they all try and get me to break it.

Strange-Building6304 · 2025-07-11T02:10:29+00:00

I've been in the same boat. My wife died in 94. I'm tall, athletic, I drive a Bronco and no one will date me.

videogames_ · 2025-07-11T02:29:25+00:00

I’m your height and probably not as fit. I have taken a ton of rejection. The thing that’s missing is making it sexual. If not a troll you’re missing the flirting and sexual tension and making a move to make it sexual. Flirt, flirt, flirt, touch her on the thighs, shoulder, lower back, then go for the kiss. Invite her to your place to see your pet, drawings, coffee, a movie, whatever then let things happen to sex.

Hoof_Heart_Ted · 2025-07-11T02:49:05+00:00

You're saying a lot of I, I, I... nothing about what you do for her. Do you know how to make her feel safe with you, close to you, interested in you, willing to start a future with you?

rawr_extreme · 2025-07-10T21:30:32+00:00

Damn bruh there’s probably much to learn from you (for a guy like me), 22M. what I’ve grown to realize is us humans are complex it’s not fair for us to think in categories (which i do as well, categorize, myself or stereotype/archetype) cuz we have lots of complexity within us and bits and pieces making us who we are.

I’d barely have any knowledge about seduction and game but I think it’s more supply demand than anything else, nevertheless I’d like to get to know you better.

Consistent-Switch999 · 2025-07-10T21:51:19+00:00

Maybe stop approaching girls and instead use tinder. The way you posted makes me assume you’re full of yourself which girls can see from a mile away. Start wearing clothes that girls are attracted to like oversized shirts and pants. Don’t over dress and dumb yourself down

BatBottleBank · 2025-07-10T21:07:23+00:00

How tall are you and are you balding?

HistorianOk2573 · 2025-07-10T21:49:50+00:00

Read the book "Daygame Code", which comes out in a month on amazon in hard cover, though you can find it here on ebook already. It will change your life. It's what those two books you mentioned should have been and written specifically for people who feel hopeless by someone who was also hopeless.

Derkaholic · 2025-07-10T23:03:28+00:00

I got pussy last night without even trying. It’s crazy how it happened lol

bluekid3 · 2025-07-11T00:27:04+00:00

5'8 Lol

Title	Some guys just have it
Author	maddestkent
Upvotes	138
Comments	111
Date	July 10, 2025 9:00 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1lwo3r2/some_guys_just_have_it/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/some-guys-just-have-it.1556832 https://theredarchive.com/post/1556832

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