Banned

upvotersfortruth · 2025-05-15T08:44:50+00:00

This is not the complaints department for r/DivorcedDads

warwww · 2025-05-14T02:55:12+00:00

This was a part of my original message to the mod In his channel - a message he deleted. Show me where I was being personal or incident something vile or “wrong”.

I’m glad this post gained a bit of traction as it highlights two things (hopefully).

1) People should have a means to express their opinions, especially so if it’s not foul or rude and

2) Men clearly are still leaps and bounds behind in terms of regaining our self respect or dignity. We truly need to break free of the emotional bondages we have with our exes. Many still tie their self worth on their approval. That isn’t healing at all. I simply want men to do better in that area. Look for the validation inward.

Beginning of my message before being banned

“Doing right by your kids you say? You and I both have kids and I would pain to see my son in a similar position many years out, God forbid he gets divorced.

Pain as in watching him from afar attempt to gain the validation, admiration from a woman he’s no longer involved with. That and his time would be better spent either pouring into his kids future and wellbeing or finding a partner who does value him.

Attempting to manipulate either a situation or another person under the guise of best for the kids is what has a lot of kids without fathers in their lives at the moment.

Again, point to me a consensus where it is shown that women give two cents about the father of their kids?

Point is, focus on both yourself and your kids not on the feelings of someone you are no longer with.

Support and enable are two different things. Yes my message may sting but is it any different than a pill that’s hard to swallow?

I’ve learned to be careful however as most men don’t even want to hear that their women are cheating or having sex with other men. Their anger or disappointment is most often external - again focus on yourself and your kids. That is what’s best for them.

There are MUCH MUCH better ways of allegedly showing your kids better. You think developing anxiety and stress over a single day is it? “Oh I wonder if she’ll appreciate this gesture” “Oh I wonder if we got her the right color” “Oh I wonder if it was expensive enough….” It’s an endless list. Why not use that energy and take your kids out fishing? Take them for a walk in the park, take them to a museum?”

End of original message

Interesting_Elk4355 · 2025-05-12T10:30:42+00:00

As I have learned over the past year if someone is holding me to a higher standard than they do others or themselves, they can go f*** themselves.

Significant_Idea_663 · 2025-05-12T08:37:57+00:00

So, good-luck guys you’re gonna need it.—1948 , they are watching

NewDay0110 · 2025-05-12T07:17:40+00:00

Women are untouchable. It's societally unacceptable to criticize them in any way. That's why things have gotten so bad.

lostcanuck007 · 2025-05-12T04:47:28+00:00

oh you havent even tried the whatsapp group or discord, you advocate for men alone and you get banned as well.

its weird. I joined a few divorced womens groups and their absolute hate for the entire male gender borders on genocide.

regertsrus · 2025-05-11T22:27:04+00:00

The same people who say "dont leave your house" and "child support is for the kids"

rsmiley77 · 2025-05-11T21:32:39+00:00

Curious was divorce dads or divorce men ‘founded’ first on here?

Content-Class1259 · 2025-05-11T21:32:27+00:00

I honestly don’t even care if they contact her or not, she is the biggest part of creating the problems that will follow them their whole lives.

IAPiratesFan · 2025-05-11T21:28:25+00:00

Nothing says “I’m clearly right” like banning people does.

HuumanDriftWood · 2025-05-11T21:13:49+00:00

Mothers day is just another monetization day with the actual worth of the day lost in the decades.

Unsainted_smoke · 2025-05-11T20:48:20+00:00

I got my boys to pick out some flowers and a small gift for their mother. I don’t do it for her, I do it to teach my boys to always respect their mother no matter what. I never want any kind of friendship or relationship with her but she’s a good mother and all good mothers deserve to to have their kids appreciate them.

JetreL · 2025-05-11T20:25:05+00:00

This is ~~except~~ where I direct people who don’t like our rules. Glad you found home.

Edit: apologies for the typos earlier, I was replying from my phone between rounds of COD. No hard feelings. This group has been listed in the DD sidebar for close to 10 years now. I've been a sub here for many years, it’s not a competition, just different communities with different goals.

He wasn’t banned for having a different opinion. He was banned for being argumentative, condescending, and refusing to let it go. I asked him more than once to calm it down and keep things constructive, and just like this post, he kept pushing it.

Mods do this for free, and our goal is to keep the space focused on support and growth, not endless back and forth.

ChallengeCareful3133 · 2025-05-11T19:53:23+00:00

The culture on these subs is definitely bizarre. I honestly can’t figure it out.

engineered-chemistry · 2025-05-11T19:50:35+00:00

I got some cute books for my kids to give their mom and a plant. The day is about the kids appreciating their mom. Def not stressing over it lol.

Ok-Cause1108 · 2025-05-11T19:37:27+00:00

You got it right. These are guys that have still not let go of their exe's and use their kids to maintain connection hoping to one day win their exes back.

What is best for the kids is putting yourself first. Sucking it up "for the kids" is total bullshit. If you don't want to do something you don't do it, otherwise you are teaching your kids their feelings don't matter and they should put themselves and their needs on the backburner to appease others. You are setting them up for failure in their future romantic relationships.

If you are in a place where you have let go of your ex, you have forgiven yourself and her, and you genuinely appreciate her for the co-parent she is then doing something to show your appreciation is completely fine. As for stressing about it (or anything else for that matter)? Fuck no.

DivorceTA1988 · 2025-05-11T19:31:18+00:00

I agree you shouldn’t stress, but it’s not rocket surgery either. My kids aren’t old enough to go get her a present. I encouraged them to make cards and I asked what they wanted to give her. “A flower and a balloon”

Went to the store, got those things and gave them to my daughter to give to her mother. No stress, no worry, happy kids and if the ex wife is happy about it (or not) that’s fine - I didn’t do it for her.

Helpful-Paramedic463 · 2025-05-11T19:23:33+00:00

Bro this is really the only forum where we can talk freely. The Mods here have testicles and aren't some simp incel bitches.

EvalCrux · 2025-05-11T19:21:24+00:00

Dude the moment divorce started, pleasantries like happy birthday, happy Mother's day are out the window, over. How can it be any other way?

tyyyy110 · 2025-05-11T18:57:36+00:00

Wow....smh dude...guess they are still b8+@'s and hadn't grown into @lpha$

Title	Banned
Author	warwww
Upvotes	115
Comments	61
Date	May 11, 2025 6:55 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1kk8d64/banned/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/banned.1551974 https://theredarchive.com/post/1551974

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