The absolute state of this thread

veruscka · 2020-11-17T04:53:44+00:00

I would love to see a study about how and why some grown men turn out like this. Is it parental neglect? Part of a psychological disorder? Internalized homophobia? Do they really just not know how to care for themselves and never bothered to learn? I just want to know why.

SansaDeservedBetter · 2020-11-17T04:43:02+00:00

Back in my pickme days, I dated a man so bad with basic hygiene that I developed severe OCD and germaphobia after the break-up that I still struggle with today. Of course, he gaslighted me and made me feel crazy for having a legitimate mental illness that he caused, along with all his other gaslighting. This man truly had me convinved that I had borderline personality disorder lmao thank god I escaped.

Men in general disgust me with their hygiene. Just in a daily basis, the amount of long and dirty fingernails I see everywhere are shocking. I had to hound my dad for months to wash his hands after he peed. He argued that he didn’t touch pee, he only touched a part of his body so it was just touching skin and it would be ridiculous to wash his hands for touching another body part like his arm. This was a 60 year old man that was honestly arguing that touching his sweating dick, flushing the toilet and then not washing his hands after was perfectly fine.

Then, there’s also instances in my pickme days where I went to the bathroom after hooking up with a guy, only to realize that he had no handsoap on the sink. He only had a bottle of hand sanitizer. Hand sanitizer is okay if you’re out of the house but everyone should know it’s not as good as soap and water. So, I had to take some body wash out of his shower and washed my hands with that. There is nothing more horrifying to a germaphobe than realize a man you just had sex with was touching your body with fecal and urine matter all of his hands...

In conclusion, why don’t men don’t want to be clean?! It’s so baffling to me. Why do they want to feel and look filthy and smelly? There is nothing better than feeling clean and fresh.

yfunk3 · 2020-11-17T06:29:28+00:00

Have you ever walked into a room/house/apartment and smelled thst stale, dirty smell? It just hits you like a punch in the face...

That's the #1 red flag for someone with atrocious hygiene.

Also someone whose coats smell horrid and rank. My former friend/1st post-college ropmmate's coats smelled rank and unwashed. All. Of. Them. Needless to say, I am no longer friends with her, and she is the main reason why I refuse to have roommates as long as I am single.

CorruptSoulGem · 2020-11-17T04:39:53+00:00

Tampons and pads? No sorry, but here you can have one of my socks. 😬😬😬😬

beat-schmeat · 2020-11-17T05:05:34+00:00

Are they just not adults? Who doesn’t have toilet paper or towels? Lmao

cantsextihavebills · 2020-11-17T07:51:29+00:00

Don't be alarmed, but most men don't wipe after they pee. They think two shakes is sufficient and don't understand why it's bad to have piss stains on their clothes.

rebel4acause · 2020-11-17T08:19:18+00:00

This is kind of a weird story, but the thread reminded me of my ex.

My bf of a year at the time (now ex) had a lamp in his bathroom. While he was out once, I moved the lamp out of the bathroom and next to his bed so I could study and see my textbook. He came back and I asked if I could keep the light there. He said no. I asked him why since his room was kind of dark and the bathroom had bright lights. He freaked out and said the lamp had to be in the bathroom. I started laughing out of awkwardness. He then said he was dead serious, and that he could not poop unless the lamp was in the bathroom. He said he needed to turn that light on before he went.

To this day, I still don't know if he was simply possessive over his things or he really can't go without the lamp.

2020-11-17T12:41:47+00:00

Thank God I have never experienced any of what you ladies are commenting here.

I had one bf that had tampons and pads at his house from when his sister's visited, and of course he kept them if any of his ladies friends might need then. And one day, lo and behold, I definitely need them.

It seems like guys would figure this out by now. If you have products and I use them....I stay at your house longer.

If I need them and you don't have them, I'm gonna have to leave and go home

RhiannonEmilia · 2020-11-17T12:07:04+00:00

These are all too familiar. But I have to say the one where she said that guy didn’t own towels and was just soaking wet after showers had me crying laughing. Just imagining that is hilarious to me. I just can’t with these dudes 😂🤦🏻‍♀️

yegerska · 2020-11-17T10:44:31+00:00

Every time I slept at my NVM ex’s house my face would breakout really bad because of how dirty the sheets always were. I also had to remind him to buy toiletries and stuff. Cringe

yesmme · 2020-11-17T11:34:03+00:00

I knew a guy who was financially stable, seemed to have come from rich parents, had a really nice condo (it was clean too) but no toilet paper or paper towel. He had a BBQ at his place one time and us women were like “how do you not have toilet paper or paper towel?!”

AwkwardDisaster4150 · 2020-11-17T13:35:11+00:00

I dated this one guy who owned one towel and would basically never wash it. Also I think when he finished showering he wouldn’t try to shake any of the water off or wait for any of it to drip off of him before getting the towel, so the towel was always soaking wet. You could smell the mildew smell from the hallway.

Ok_Ad_67 · 2020-11-17T09:00:23+00:00

oH NO THE FUCKING SHIT RAG!!

One of these guys uses a fucking washcloth as toilet PaPeR 🤡🤡🤡

Party-Promise-8840 · 2020-11-17T12:01:27+00:00

Wtf did I just read. Ugh. Horrific memories are coming to mind now.

One guy I was seeing for 9 months used to yell at me for using “too much” toilet paper when we lived together.. like ???? Sorry for wanting to be clean? What else am I supposed to use after I go pee? He started hiding rolls of toilet paper from me and yelled at me for using shampoo that we shared. He yelled at me for a lot of things but I remember feeling humiliated when he yelled about the toilet paper. He made me feel like I was dirty but I’d shower every day, sometimes 2-3x a day if it was hot out and I was busy, he would go a week without a shower sometimes.

An ex of mine refused to use soap in the shower after a while and just used water, he said he didn’t “need” soap to be clean.. So yeah, I stopped having sex with him or letting him touch me because that’s fucking gross.

I wanna vomit now. 🤦‍♀️🤮

Partypuppers · 2020-11-17T13:14:59+00:00

This was gross to read. I never went round to my ex-bf's house unless he cleaned it before I came. That was my expectation and he knew it lol. He would always hoover (vacuum) and tidy up, change the bedsheets and do the laundry before I visited him otherwise I'd be shaming his ass. I was vocal about my expectations and vocal about my disappointment if his standards slipped.

Magnolia_Mirage · 2020-11-17T09:47:05+00:00

Oh HELL no

I am appalled

honeybeeroll · 2020-11-17T21:09:36+00:00

A TRASH CAN WITH A LINER IS THE BEST I CAN DO 😂😂😂😂

Also, when she asks where the bathroom is, what's wrong with saying "and btw i have sanitary products in the guest bathroom if you need" If this was a planned visit, which going to a guys house should be, that would tell me he prepared for me coming there. It would only be weird if the dude did it to score points and not because he's thoughtful. And your gut will know which it is. Because his other behaviors prior to that moment will tell you. It's up to you to listen to your gut and not negotiate w/ yourself.

You can just tell this guy has never dated a woman he's respected or actually cared about, and that he was not raised to think of others. He was raised with someone else always taking care of things for him. He was raised w/ someone else always doing the thinking of others for him.

AimiHanibal · 2020-11-17T11:55:12+00:00

I remember when I was talking to my now ex about potentialy living together he demanded to have his own “study / office” room (basically a man cave where he could watch porn guilt-free) and he said he’d never clean it bcs it’s just “not something what he does”. So when I asked him “so, is the room gonna stay dirty forever?” he couldn’t give me a straight answer. I guess he was expecting me to clean it lol. Also, his toilet had shit stains for weeks and his mom used to clean his apartment (in his 22) lmao

Also, my ex before that once left dishes in the sink so long that mold started to grow on them 🤢. And my girl pick-me friend constantly gets UTI bcs her LVM husband refuses to wear condoms or wash his dick... The bar is in Hell, ladies 😔

localgirlcult · 2020-11-17T14:25:03+00:00

That talk of appreciating Suave and Pantene being impressive was somehow even sadder than the cave trolls who wipe their asses with newspapers. A man who has one bar soap that he uses to wash both his face and his balls and ass is such...I don't know. It's so pathetic that that's their extent of grooming. They make me think of a guy I knew who was CRACKED all over. Dry cracking skin, dry cracking bleeding lips. But the fucking bxtch wouldn't moisturize, wouldn't use lip balm. That's that same type. If they could use that one bar of soap to brush their teeth, they probably would.

LadyGrimes · 2020-11-17T10:07:13+00:00

JFC you could fill a book with all these horrifying stories.

Gambit12345 · 2020-11-17T15:57:36+00:00

I actually think OPs idea is great. Back in college I had a fwb whose house I’d sleep over from time to time. His bathroom was disgusting. Like actual poo stuck to the toilet bowl. He’d blame his roommates. I also always carried wet wipes with me which I’m glad I did because they always ran out of tp. A little toiletry basket would be great because it shows they can think ahead to anticipate needs and have no problem providing.

CatSweets · 2020-11-17T13:09:02+00:00

These prints just removed 10 years of my life 🤢

four_q · 2020-11-18T07:44:46+00:00

One time I went into a lvms bed room and his mattress was stuffed with hay

2020-11-17T14:57:03+00:00

I’m sorry...just clown shit, can’t relate. I tolerated awful behavior but cleanliness was one thing that was always a deal breaker for me. God, the mass gas lighting is insane though. It’s normal fo be clean! You’re not asking for too much!!!

2020-11-17T15:23:51+00:00

What the fuck? Having one soap is considered normal for men? Omfggg.

Title	The absolute state of this thread
Author	eveninghope
Upvotes	249
Comments	84
Date	November 17, 2020 4:24 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/jvmi9a/the_absolute_state_of_this_thread/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/the-absolute-state-of-this-thread.335026 https://theredarchive.com/post/335026

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