My family is originally from a country that really pushed machismo on boys and purity on girls. Women are expected to be virgins and marry young. While boys expected to sleep with as many women as possible, many prostitutes, to gain eXpErIeNcE before settling down. Then they have multiple affairs and mistresses because mEn hAve nEeDs. And it’s just accepted. The woman can never leave or take a lover though. She will be scoured by her community. Women are pushed into tradcon roles and it’s enforced by Catholicism.

It is not uncommon for a man to have a wife, a girlfriend and a mistress at the same time. A friend of mine is 1st generation from the same country. When we were kids, her dad would leave on Fridays and return on Mondays to be with his girlfriend. Her mom would chase his car screaming and crying when he left. Everyone in the neighborhood talked about it and many kids made fun of them at school. She never got to go on vacations as a kid because her dad had to see his girlfriend. Then, of course, he never spent any time with his kids because he spent all of his free time with his mistresses.

My ex was first generation as well. Same thing. Mistresses prostitutes, everything. He was FLOORED that I wouldn’t marry him when I found out. That’s how accepted it is. Like “of course your boyfriend is trying to gain experience before your marriage. He’s doing it for you UwU.” You better stay a virgin though!

Now of course I don’t mean to say that every man from this culture is like this. I have known some who have unlearned it and others who didn’t subscribe to it at all. What i’m saying is; you need to vet for how much he subscribes to this.

Here are some red flags I’ve noticed with my ex that are specific to machismo culture. They also overlap with narcissism

-Really pushed cheesy romantic situations. Where he would say bullshit that sounded like it came out of a cheesy romance novel

-Brought up kids wayyyyy too early

-Hyper masculine gestures like threatening to kick someone’s ass for you

  • Sleep overs with female friends and had a female best friend (saw this in another post and that’s what made me think about all of this)

-Talked about how his friends where such dogs to women and paid for prostitutes. But he isn’t like that UwU. Although he went to the parties where this happened.

-Strip clubs

-Unavailable/no contact for days at time followed by love bombing. A lot women from this culture note this. They are getting you comfortable with what life will be like when you’re married and he has mistresses